Always Stop To Smell The Roses
On a long-overdue alcohol run to the local supermarket, I happened to spy an oddity clad in a green flower-covered sundress. Somewhat large, and in her late forties, she was accompanied by children that must have been produced fairly late in the life cycle of her womanhood. I can only imagine that my treacherous eyes singled out this particular undesirable due to her completely ridiculous hairstyle. Rather than a typical dye job of blonde atop a thin strip of black roots, she had a half & half mixture that was seemingly the product of laziness or a visually impaired hairdresser. It was like one of those half chocolate/half vanilla ice cream cones from my childhood, only far less appetizing.
Perhaps it was due to a certain analytical curiosity, or more likely, my inebriated state of mind, but I stood outside of the supermarket and pondered her completely idiotic choices in life. But I stood there, bags of liquor in hand, watching traffic go by, and felt somewhat bad about my train of thought. Perhaps this woman had chosen this hairstyle in an attempt to appear more youthful and carefree. Or another option, this may have been an attempt on her part to obfuscate her less appealing features, namely her face. I hadn’t taken a look at her ring hand, for fear of my dick never again heeding my call to action, but I could imagine her trolling the singles bars at night… hoping to attract a new temporary father figure for her potentially obnoxious (and possibly bastardized) children.
It was at this point, lost in my train of thought, that I turned my head and found myself face to face (mere inches away) with the object of my mental pause.
Unfortunately, I had turned my head to let out a viciously large and somewhat appalling belch.
HahaThat is the funniest fucking thing I’ve read in a while.
HmmmCareful, she could’ve taken it as a compliment.
Could be worseWorse than a compliment. she could have taken it as a mating call.
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bellota
over6964@badassmofo.comporkContent-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printableContent-Type: text/htmlSubject: bacon andbcc: bkeyman@orangesundof.comsmoking due to the usef10c6222b0dbaa47f10cce0bc78bebd6.