Ads on BAMF are cheap, effective, and sexy.
T2, we hope-- Sharkey
Hopefully I'll be watching T2 tonight on the big screen. The story is that somebody's got
a 70MM reel of it and Big Jim (does those top 7 lists in Fun Stuff)
let me and Mox in on it. Bitchin'.
Something's a comin'-- Sharkey
This'll sound strange, but I'm predicting an earthquake. See, my dog has always been a
real lay around and do jack shit kind of dog. No tricks, no nothing. But every couple of
years or so, she gets all nervous and can't be left alone. If you're in the house and
you're in a room with the door closed, she cries and howls until you let her in, then
crawls up next to you and shivers. Within a few days an earthquake comes. Wierd shit.
Well, she's been doing it for the past few days, and you can't sleep in my house without
her being there. I'm hoping she's wrong for once so I can stop putting up with that BS.
Anyway, I'm hopped up on NyQuil and thought I'd share.
You want a piece of me? -- Sharkey
I'm going to go play some Q2 on the KROQ
multiplayer server. I'm always Sharkey, so frag me if you can.
Beer -- Sharkey
Shit beers updated on the beer page.
Check it out -- Sharkey
Check out this
site. He's got a pretty big humor archive.
Sore throat -- Sharkey
I hate being sick in any way, shape or form. I feel absolutely great except for this sore
throat. Stupid weather changes. Why couldn't it rain, dammit! I was all set to update the
site and put some new stuff in the beer section (thanks to everyone who helped) and
because of this stupid sore throat, I drank a bunch of NyQuil and fell asleep.
Two things -- Sharkey
1. My new Voodoo 3 card kicks ass.
2. I own at Q2. I was afraid it'd been so long I'd forget how to play. Meat pie, anyone?
Ramblings back -- Sharkey
Let's all hope that they stay back this time. And that "body parts" section
sounds..uhh...interesting.
CIH author reportedly found -- Sharkey
The author is reported to be a former student at Tatung Institute of Technology in Taiwan.
{News.com} {Wired}
Stuff -- Sharkey
You may have noticed the absence of Mr.Mabs, that's because he's heavily involved in a
wedding. No, not his. Badass congrats go out to Bud, our esteemed music editor, who will
spend his last night as a free agent Friday. Good luck and best wishes to Bud and Jen.
After said wedding, Mr.Mabs vows to be back wth a vengeance, with much content to add.
Sounds like something I'd do -- Sharkey
A billboard for a shoestore in PA read ''Bring in this ad and you'll get a free pair of
shoes.'' Three people did just that. They took the sign down and contacted the
shoestore.The media group that installed the sign traded three pairs of shoes for the
sign, and plan to include a disclaimer on thier next billboard.
Quake 2 -- Sharkey
Man, that KROQ multiplayer game kicks
ass. They've even got their own server to play on. I thought it'd be a hard choice between
watching my new Dragonball eps and playing games, but I'm such a badass I can do both. And
post news at the same time.
Furby trampling leads to lawsuit
-- Sharkey
Two angry shoppers are suing a Wal-Mart, claiming they were injured this past holiday
season during a stampede for Furbys. Sherry Smith and Jaquiline Dyer allege in the federal
lawsuit that Wal-Mart didn't properly manage the crowd. Smith and Dyer are asking for
$250,000 each in compensatory damages for personal injuries, physical pain, suffering and
mental anguish. Smith suffered a dislocated jaw and Dyer a knee injury, according to the
lawsuit.
I say that if you were in line for that stupid POS the day after Thanksgiving, you
deserve a good trampling. And if you think that's bad, wait til' tons of kids get mauled
next week when the Star Wars toys go on sale.
| Wednesday, April 28,
1999 |
Ramblings shuts down -- Sharkey
That sucks, I really liked them, as did Mr. Mabs. As per G's request I have removed the
link. Another one bites the dust eh?
New video card -- Sharkey
Went for a trip to skim through the video cards, and was surprised to see how cheap
they're getting. I rounded the aisle and on an endcap a box seemed to call out to me: The
Voodoo3 2000. 16 MB of SDRAM, 300MHz RAMDAC, 143MHz Core clock. Now it's time for some
heavy multiplayer Quake2 and Unreal.
TPM next week? -- Sharkey
Hmm...Fox is having some advanced showings in undisclosed locations from May 4-6. Not even
the theatre owners will know until the last minute. Read more here. I've got to get
more info on this. I do know of one confirmed official advanced screening, quite a bit
earlier than I expected too. No, I'm not telling. (Like you'd mess up your chance to see
it early? PFFT!)
Windows 2000 Beta -- Sharkey
Sigh...Paying $60 to help make Microsoft richer in more ways than one. I can see the logic
behind network admins and engineers shelling out the cash to get a look at what's ahead,
but it still doesn't seem right to me. Next thing you know game companies will be charging
you to test their buggy garbage too. Read more about this shameful display of lameness here
Intel tries graphics again -- Sharkey
After a little time off after releasing the ever-lame i740, Intel is giving 3D graphics
processors another shot. Their new card, the i754, is basically an upgraded version. It is
aimed at the "bargain" gamer. I liked this quote:
Maher characterized the company's attitude as: "By 2000 we
will be beating our chests."
Gamespot
Gamecenter
Soul Reaver pushed back again -- Sharkey
Well, Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver has been pushed back from May 30 to June 7. Does anybody
remember when they were saying "This will be the game of the 1998 Chritmas
season!" Gaaah! How long will they make us wait?!? Nobody is going to care when this
thing finally comes out. They better get it out before August or it will face the beast
that is FF8.
Woo-Hoo! -- Sharkey
I got a nice package in the mail just now. Nine tapes of subbed Dragonball Z
episodes/movies! Many many thanks go to Nancy "Dakarai" Thatcher for sending
them to me.
Oops -- Sharkey
Lost a couple of yesterday's posts and updates. Getting them back requires physical
movement and me getting out of bed at 3:32 AM. They'll be back later. If you missed em,
the only important thing is my request for info on getting a new 3D card. If you have any
bitchin' 3D card info, send it to me. Just a sidenote, thanks to the /. effect, Got Maul? was viewed 23,368 times in the last two days.
Not bad for the fruits of boredom.
Blind driver arrested -- Sharkey
Police in Buenos Aires arrested a blind man driving a pickup truck. His 13 year old
daughter was in the truck helping him by turning the steering wheel and telling him when
to brake and accelerate. The man recently went blind due to diabetes and still had a valid
drivers license. Police reported that the man was driving quite well for being blind.
I always wondered why they put braille on the drive-through ATM instructions. Now I
know (and knowin' is half the battle :P )
CIH virus no big deal -- Sharkey
Check out the CNN story here.
Are you being watched? -- Sharkey
A new civilian satellite is being launched to spy on Earth. Drudge Report. Hot tubs? I'd have
that sucker aimed at the Playboy mansion.
New Video Card-- Sharkey
I'm getting a new 3D card this week, and I need suggestions. My old card was of the
Diamond Monster variety, and it's time to upgrade. Thoughts?
Pie-- Sharkey
*Whew*. Ate at the Outback steakhouse tonight, and all I can say is damn. They have some
of the hottest waitresses I have ever seen.
Tilt Pack for N64-- Sharkey
Pelican is going to release a "Tilt Pack" for the N64 controller for $30.
Instead of using the digital pad or anolog stick, you tilt the controller in whichever
direction you want to go. It will also react differently to different control styles in
games. Sounds interesting, but I know from experience that most Pelican products suck ass,
especially their N64 controllers. We'll see how it turns out.
Duel of Fates mp3 -- Sharkey
Whoop, Lucas put those mirrors out right quick. The RIAA contacted all those sites and put
the kibosh on 'em. If you didn't get it already, try the newsgroups or IRC or something.
Bill Gates is not satan -- Sharkey
Heh, this article is perfect for all the Linux loving traffic coming off of
Slashdot. It talks
about how lucky we are to have MS products in our lives. I don't hate MS or anything, but
I do feel really lucky whenever I get the NT Blue Screen of Death. Just a warm, fuzzy
feeling.
Gaming -- Sharkey
Quite a few people have asked why we don't have a gaming section yet. The original intent
of this site was for gaming news and reviews, but I didn't want to roll out the gaming
section prematurely. Well, the gaming section is almost done, and it'll be up soon.
Massive and insane baby, just the way I like it.
The beauty of time zones -- Sharkey
I saw over on Roosh that X-Files sucked
at around 8PM my time, so I watched MST3K instead.
I was also going to see Pushing Tin tonight, but Mr
Mabs saw it and mentioned it sucking ass, siting that Angelina Jolie's breasts have
too small of a role. Hopefully he'll put up a full review soon (Hear that Mabs? Get to
steppin!)
We survived -- Sharkey
Well, seems the server survived the /. effect. We got around ten times our normal hits
yesterday. And Got Maul? is now destined to be one of
those pictures everybody passes around the office until it becomes an annoying link that
AOL users send to everyone on their "buddy list" (that's what they call it
right?). Got a lot of e-mails too, with a lot of good suggestions. Keep sending them guys,
I like hearing about pie types and new beers. Mmmm...beer.
Ehrgeiz -- Sharkey
GRRR....The RPG style game that they threw into Ehrgeiz kicks ass, but it's all in
Japanese. Suck ass. They better throw that in with the US version.
Whoa -- Sharkey
I e-mailed CmdrTaco at Slashdot.org to
have a look at Got Maul? and he mentioned it on
Slashdot. I didn't expect that, the /. effect would put us past our MB/month ceiling. We
just had our normal hits per day on this page in the last hour. Thanks Taco!
MoFo's Guide to Beer -- Sharkey
It's ready and waiting for you. The BadAss MoFo's Guide
to Beer is up and running, as well as the Beer
Games section. Go have a look. If you have any comments or suggestions, e-mail me with them.
Just for your general info, the next guide will be on badass cooking. Got any requests
or suggestions, you know the number.
Section update -- Sharkey
Updated the Fun Stuff section with the Got Maul? parody.
Bleem! -- Sharkey
Bleem!, the Playstation emulator for
PC, shipped to online buyers. Some recieved their copies yesterday. This emulator has so
far slipped past Sony's legal strongarm, unlike Connectix Virtual Gamestation, which
wasn't so lucky. It'll be interesting to see how this pans out.
Still here -- Sharkey
Well, I'm still alive so I guess that guy wasn't planning on killing anybody. What a
freak.
File under: WTF? -- Sharkey
I went to the Big Newport tonight, and this walks up wearing a suit, shooting range
glasses and shooting range earphones, and leather gloves. His tie is loosened, and his
hair is messed up, and he's carrying a long black duffel bag. He walks around and smokes
nervously for a few minutes. He buys a ticket to "Pushing Tin" and a bottle of
water, then proceeds into the theatre. Now, this caused quite a stir with quite a few of
the customers. The theatre staff watched him, along with a security guard. He switched
seats a few times, stayed for the previews, and left without getting a refund. This caused
an even greater scare for quite a few customers. The cops were called and they pulled him
over down the road. In lieu of the recent shootings, I must say that if he wasn't planning
on blowing us away, his appearance was in very poor taste.
Hell froze over -- Sharkey
And they said it would never happen. Local station Kroq finally got a website, and I must
say it's pretty badass. If you listen to the station (The Kevin and Bean show in
particular) you would know that getting a website has been a running gag for them for
years. Now they have a bitchin' site and even a Quake II multiplayer level and server! Go
check it out at www.kroq.com.
Advanced tickets by Moviephone -- Sharkey
You can buy your tickets one week in advance through Moviephone. On Wednesday, May 12, at
3:00PM EST Moviephone (aka 777-FILM) will sell tickets to Star Wars on Moviephone and on
thier website moviephone.com. It
is reported that theatre box offices will begin selling them simultaneously.
On another Star Wars note: if you're planning on seeing TPM at an AMC, you'd better
call and make sure that they're getting it. It looks like AMC Theatres pissed off either
Lucas or Fox, because most of their big California theatres are not getting it. Hope you
weren't planning on seeing it at the Block in Orange, because they won't get it kids.
Crap -- Sharkey
I was doing some maintenence on my system today. Found over 150MB of wasted space and temp
files. Stupid, stupid Windows.
Section update -- Sharkey
Updated the movies section with a compilation of all our reviews.
Encore doesn't suck so bad -- Sharkey
A long ass time ago we got this pay channel called Encore, and it only showed old
seventies flicks that sucked ass. Somehow getting this shitballs pay channel lowers our
cable bill, don't ask how. Well, I started tuning in to it, and now they're showing Grosse
Pointe Blank (one of the 101 Essential Badass Movies). And they
were showing a bunch of other good movies earlier. Guess they don't suck as much ass as I
thought.
Friday night -- Sharkey
Well kiddies, it's Friday night, I'm Audi 5000. Enjoy yourselves. See you tomorrow.
eBay kicks ass -- Sharkey
I can't believe the shit people buy and for how much. I saw an auction where a guy was
selling a "rare, theatre-release only third teaser poster". I'm thinking,
"who the fuck would believe that? If another poster came out everyone would know
about it!" Yet, amazingly, there were many bids. Making money off the
stupidity of others, that my friends is the American Way.
See you at E3, Hef -- Sharkey
E3 kicks ass, and here's one more reason to go.
The lucky winner of the E3 Wipeout 3
multiplayer contest will win a ticket to an "exclusive" Psygnosis party at
Playboy Mansion. The large chested event - scheduled for later next month - will be used
by the publisher as a showcase for the latest, and hopefully greatest, iteration of the
racer "plus other games," revealed a Psygnosis insider. "Between 1pm and
2pm each day at E3, we'll be holding the multiplayer contest on a large screen. We'll have
prizes such as t-shirts with brand new designs from DR - the original Wipeout shirts were
very limited in number, and we hope these will become just as collectable. The fastest
time of the show will win the ticket to the party at Playboy Mansion. Anyone can come
along and play. This is a great chance for us to show off the multiplayer for the first
time."
Damn straight! Anyone planning on attending E3 will have to square off against me. I'll
be there, and ready to take on them Playboy bunnies.
Got Maul? -- Sharkey
Don't know where I got the inspiration for this. Maybe it's seeing TPM stuff everywhere I
go. Maybe it's because I hate those ads unless a scantily clad chick is in it. Either way,
click here and enjoy. And if you feel so inclined, let
me know what you think.
Screw Burger King -- Sharkey
I go to get Burger King food, and I find that the Whopper isn't 99 cents anymore! It's
almost a buck-fifty now. It's been 99 cents for years here in CA, and it always said
"for a limited time only". 3 or 4 years is a limited time? Who's going to pay
for that piece of shit when they got it for a buck last week? Dumb, I doubt I'll eat there
anymore.
That, and they got rid of the International chicken sandwhich. I asked for one and the
chick on the other end says "No". I'm like WTF, No? So I say "what do you
mean, no?". She says, "No, no more". I say, "No more, you mean you're
sold out or something?" She says, "No more, we no sell". I say, "you
discontinued the international chicken sandwhich?" and she replies "No". I
say, "So....you didn't discontinue them." She replies "No". So I say,
"if you didn't discontinue them then why can't I have one". She says,
"No". I get pissed off and order something else, and the guy at the window could
speak English so he let me know that the sandwhich is gone. I was fucking PISSED!
A-hole drivers -- Sharkey
I was driving along, and came up to a red light. When it goes green, this van flies past
me, cuts me off (signal you bitch!) and slows to about 25. I'm boxed in by a bunch of
slow-asses, so I fake right, and the guy to the right of me slows down, and I merge into
the lane. I blaze past the stupid van, and the guy gives me a dirty look as I drive by,
then the guy swerves over behind me, and is flipping me off. WTF did I do? I had just
pulled out of BK (see above post), so he couldn't have been pissed at me before all this.
California drivers bite my ass.
Dave's still alive -- Sharkey
I thought Dave's Classics was going to be gone for good, but he's still around. I changed
the link in the sidebar to his new address.
Canucks pull Buffy -- Sharkey
The Canadians are pulling next weeks episode of
Buffy because the plot is similar to this week's massacre in Littleton.
The plot involves Buffy overhearing a mass murder plot at her
high school and must keep it from being carried out. YTV will instead substitute a Buffy
rerun. "It's not appropriate at this time," said Laura Heath, a YTV
spokesperson. "Our programming people are parents and it's just, as a parent, it
would be offensive to air something like that."
--Jam! Television
Hey, this is a little off-topic, but are there any guys out there who actually watch
Buffy because they think it's quality entertainment? I mean, if her breasts weren't there,
would you still watch? I doubt it. Now what would a smart TV exec do with this
information? Put more pie on TV baby.
| Wednesday, April 23,
1999 |
"Must Click" T.V.?
-- Sharkey
Check out this wired article about interactive TV. If it ends up anything like WebTV,
it'll fall on it's face.
Think I'll have myself a beer.. -- Sharkey
Hey, we got quite a few responses on beer and beer games. Seems a lot of you like Corona
(with lime dammit!) Keep sending them in, I'm going to compile all of the responses
tomorrow.
Blink 182 -- Sharkey
Finally! Blink 182 is coming out
with a new album on June 15th called "Enema of the State". They are one of my
fav bands, and it's been far too long. I checked out their site, and saw that Scott
Raynor, the drummer is now the ex-drummer. That sucks. They brought in Travis
Barker from the Aquafags to fill his shoes. Hope he doesn't taint their music. If I hear
"super-rad" in any song on that album I'll beat his ass. Finally, some good
music to look forward to.
Calling all badass drinkers -- Sharkey
The BadassMoFo's Guide to Beer is almost finished, but I need you, the drunken public, to
help me. I am calling upon you to send me your favorite drinking games, and favorite
beers. (The hard alcohol section comes later, so hold your asses!) If I hear Bud Light or
Slow Brew I'm bitch slapping someone. Bud Light may be cheap and effective, but I'm
talking quality beer, and I also expect quality drinking games. I've got all
the best ones (asshole, bullshit, kings and blood, century club, chandelier, drunk driver,
etc.) but what I want is the more obscure, yet kickass games. There's one in particular
that I used to play all the time, but I can't remember the rules to. It was Kings and
Categories. It was like Kings and Blood, only with categories and more drinking. If anyone
knows the complete rules to that, let me know. Remember, the more drunk you get, the
better the game.
Dammit -- Sharkey
While I was trying to update the site (at 4AM), I accidentally uploaded the older news
file, replacing the newer news file. I then had to get up, get dressed, go out to my car,
get my laptop, copy the file to a disk, and re-upload it. I'm fucking tired, now I'm
fucking pissed. Have a nice day.
Gaaah! Horrid Commercials -- Sharkey
Has anyone else seen the Nike commercial where Michael Jordan is facing off against Mia
(don't know who the fuck she is) and they're playing that "Anything you can do I can
do better" song? Is it just me or does that commercial suck serious monkey ass? That
song is stuck in my head, right now. Take that, Linda Tripp naked and nothing but Jesse
Camp commentaries and you've reached Hell, population: me.
Turn my back for one minute.. -- Sharkey
Damn people, I take a walk and get some fresh air, go get a haircut, study for awhile,
take a break from the T.V. and the net for awhile, and when I get to work, what do I hear?
That innocent kids were slaughtered in Denver. At least 25 people are dead, and I'm sure
if you're reading this, then you know all about it. I've read everyone's thoughts on this,
from all the various sites. I can't beleive that people are taking this time for potshots
at each other. Children lay dead! Pointless bickering gets us nowhere near finding a
solution. And gun control won't solve anything, when something like this happens we
immediately try and find the quick fix. Unfortunately, there's no such thing. Take the
guns away, they'll get more. Punish them, more rise in their place. There's no simple
answer to this. If I could think of one, I'd be a rich man. Let me know what you think
people. This is a democracy, let's hear the democratic response.
Make your own PSX2 games -- Sharkey
Sony is going to be releasing Playstation 2 development kits in Japan soon for the piddly
price of 1,350,000 yen (around $11,500). Linux is supposedly the main OS, with TCP/IP,
LAN, and C/C++ support. Save your allowance kiddies :P
New MTV VJ found, is fine slice -- Sharkey
Well, they finally gave Jesse the boot, and now they've replaced him wih a nice slice of
pie. Couldn't tell what type of slice, but tasty looking. Too bad I'll never get to see
her, because I don't watch MTV. Every time I turn it on there's some horrible crap that
makes me sad to be alive. I sat down for ten minutes and watched today, and saw a video by
that fucking moron Jesse, TLC (hot chicks, no talent) and that Orgy remake of Blue Monday.
I change the channel and what do I find? Cher! Who the fuck let Cher make another album?!?
It's like we've replaced all the record executives with orangutans on acid! Remind me to
never watch MTV or VH1 ever again.
Go to AA or go to Hell -- Sharkey
An appeals court said an atheist cannot be forced to attend Alcoholics Anonymous
meetings.The ruling came Monday in the case of Robert Warner, who had argued that the
Orange County Department of Probation ignored his constitutional rights when it required
him to attend AA meetings as part of his probation following an impaired-driving
conviction. It also said U.S. District Court Judge Gerard Goettel was right to find no
substantial damages and to award Warner only a nominal $1.
Ramblings -- Sharkey
Checked out this site the other day, and the guys who run it are pretty fucking funny.
They also link directly to slices of pie in their postings. (I
thought I was the only one doing that!) Go check out Ramblings.
Import Games Reviewed -- Sharkey
Dragon Ball Z: Legends : B
The best Dragon Ball game I've ever seen, although that's not saying much. I can
safely say that I kick ass at this game. It's got fucking fast-paced action, and all the
characters you want to see. Unfortunately, not all the characters you want to be. You can
be the main characters, but not the sub-characters that you can fight against. Oh well,
it's getting closer. Bandai should sell the DB rights to Capcom, then there'd be a fucking
great game.
Dragon Ball Z Ultimate Battle 22 : F
A horrible excuse for a game. It doesn't deserve the name Dragon Ball. How can you
take an anime that has such amazingly fast-paced action and turn it into mind-numbingly
slow shit like this? And the worst part is, it's got every character playable, which
should have gone into Legends.
Mayhem -- Sharkey
Kicked up some bitchin' mayhem, and now I'm tired. Luckily, I remembered my camera, so I
can share it with all of you. Just gotta get off my lazy ass and develop that shit.
Reader Response -- Sharkey
Here's a reader's response to that lawsuit we all hate so much:
It strikes as funny,
and yet, deeply disturbing at the same time.
This bit about the
lawsuit filed, claiming games, movies, and porn influenced that kid to shoot people at his
school is ridiculous. Where the hell were his parents when he was walking around like an
emotionally retarded zombie PRIOR to his snappage?
I'm sorry, but I'm
willing to bet this dude wasn't volunteering his time down at the old folks home, or doing
community service, or otherwise leading a healthy positive life. (Not like I do either,
but I'm not about to cancel a bunch of peeps who never hurt me, either.)
Adults don't want to
get involved in their kids' lives, and don't want to take responsibility when their kid
goes on a blast fest at the local school. Parents are supposed to PARENT. Not through
lawsuits and laziness. (Letting the government mandate what's acceptable and what's not is
the biggest fucking cop-out I've ever seen.) Parents are supposed to be on top of their
kids, either by talking to them, or beating their miscreant little asses in submission.
-3
The families doing the suing are the parents of the victims, so yes it stands to reason
that they are upset and want to lash out at whomever did them and their children harm. We
all know that this is an inane and hopefully weak suit that will get nowhere, but innocent
people lay dead. Children for God's sake. Someone should be responsible, and that is the
parents of this kid. We let the television become the babysitter of the nineties, and now
everyone blames the television for our kids being fucked up. Somewhere (my guess would be
the eighties, nothing good came of that decade) parents forgot that parenting is a job.
A full time, work your ass off kind of job, with responsibilities and consequences. Next
thing you know parents will be suing their kids for being born and being a burden.
I posted that response because I respected his opinion, and because he used the phrase,
"cancel a bunch of peeps" when I know he's a white guy. :P
Movie Review: Twin Dragons -- Sharkey
Not one of the better Jackie Chan movies, but it was still worth seeing. The plot was the
lamest yet, but the fight scenes were excellent. It's the (way overdone) story of twins
separated at birth who reunite in a wacky and zany situation. The good part about this is
that one twin is good and the other is kind of a slimeball, so we get to see a kickass
thug Jackie Chan who does chicks he doesn't even know. The bad part is that the other twin
is a pussy. If I go see a Jackie Chan movie, I don't want to see him act like a puss.
Ever. I want to see him climb up walls and jump in and out of fucked up situations,
kicking ass the whole way. Oh, and they didn't even show any outtakes at the end! WTF is
that? The fights were, as usual, the only good part of this flick.
Chricton forms game company -- Sharkey
Hmmm...he can write, but games? Oh well, the market's flooded with crap anyway. Read more here.
Puff Daddy arrested
-- Sharkey
Puff Daddy put the beat down on a Universal Records exec because they put him in a Nas
video. Puffy and a couple of cronies beat his ass with chairs and a phone. Read
more. Funny, I was hoping they would arrest him for making so much money off of other
people's hard work and talent.
Tard Robber -- Sharkey
A 19 year old tried to rob a country store in Virginia with a squirt gun. The owner of the
store, obviously unimpressed, whipped out his trusty .45 semiautomatic pistol. The robber
spent ten minutes face down on the floor until police carted his dumb ass away.
Aiding teen suicide --
Sharkey
Dennis and Cindy Kovac, concerned when their daughter collected her second speeding
ticket, put a bumper sticker on her car that reads, ''If I'm Speeding, Call My Parents,''
and lists the family's phone number. So far there have been no calls and no speeding
tickets. Wow. You know those news stories you see where the kids grow up to be junkies and
coke whores, and you wonder what kind of parents they had?
Site up -- Sharkey
Well, the site is back up. It's around 3:16 AM, and I am now looking into new hosting
options, as reccomended by Roosh.
Site down -- Sharkey
Tried to update the page, and couldn't connect to the server. Tried to access the site,
and got nothing. Tried to check my mail, got shit. Hopefully it'll be up before tomorrow.
Kid brings gun to school, is lousy shot -- Sharkey
Again?? A high school sophomore in Idaho fired two shotgun blasts in a school corridor
Friday before he began babbling incoherently and was taken into custody. No one was
injured. What they should do is find out if this kid likes violent movies, internet porn
and video games. That way you can't say playing Quake II made him a better shot.
That's what really got me with the whole lawsuit. What teenage guy doesn't like violent
movies, free porn and video games? And how many unload an AK into their crowded school?
Aol exploits tards -- Sharkey
A bunch of AOL volunteers are pissed because they don't get actual compensation. AOL has
around 10,000 volunteers or "community leaders" who monitor the chat rooms and
answer questions. In exchange, the community leaders get free access.
You know, I hear about things like this, and it's just amazing that I belong to the
same species as some of these people. I can't imagine any tech supporter being paid to
reply "OK Dood, U need 2 download the Noo vershun of AOL, Kewl?"
Train hauls ass -- Sharkey
A magnetically levitated Japanese train manned by engineers broke its own world speed
record on a test run Wednesday, clocking 343 mph. That would kick so much ass. A trip from
O.C. to San Diego would take 20 minutes.
Vader kicks ass -- Sharkey
James Earl Jones will be back as Vader, at the end of Episode 3. George Lucas has vowed to
return his voice to Vader once the character is completely given over to the Dark Side of
the Force. "That may be the last five minutes of the movie but it's fine by me,"
Jones reportedly said. Jones has kept himself busy since Return of the Jedi, doing films
like The Sandlot, and generally kicking ass.
David Prowse, the actor who was actually in the Vader costume, has done no movies since
Jedi, but pursues a promising career as the guy at Sci-fi conventions that nobody talks
to.
| Wednesday, April
14, 1999 |
Star Wars in O.C. -- Mr. Mabs
Here's some inside info for anyone in Orange County. A certain prominent O.C. theatre
chain plans to sell Star Wars tickets 72 hours in advance, and is in negotiations with Fox
to aqcuire the rights to do so.
You mean she's not a lesbian? -- Sharkey
Lucy Lawless, heroine to butch women golfers everywhere, announced that she is pregnant
with her second child which is due in October. If you've ever watched Xena, you know that
she and Gabrielle are definite cannibal pie candidates. (cannibal pie=eats it's own kind)
O.J. takes tips from Tyson -- Sharkey
That was way too many "T" sounds in one sentence. O.J. Simpson's hand was cut as
he wrestled and bit a gunman who attempted to rob him Tuesday in a golf course parking
lot, police said.
"He stepped toward me and we wrestled for the gun. I bit his hand so he would let
go of the gun," he said. Simpson cut his hand with the barrel of the gun. "My
hand was bleeding, and my first reaction wasn't to follow him, but I got in my van and
followed him." Simpson chased the assailant in his car while calling police on his
cellular phone, but gave up because the man was running red lights and police told Simpson
to pull over. Ok, let's review this: OJ, bloody hand, car chase with OJ on the phone, and
the cops telling him to pull over. Why does this sound so familiar?
Pie smuggler busted -- Sharkey
A man has been arrested for allegedly smuggling dozens of women hidden in large suitcases
on flights to Japan, police said Tuesday. The women reportedly entered prostitution rings
in Osaka, Japan. Toshiro Oyama, 44, hired about 20 Japanese men to smuggle Thai women. The
Thais reportedly boarded the flights as regular passengers and were crammed into the
suitcases in the bathroom before passing through immigration. The women each paid Oyama's
organization $28,000 to be taken to Japan.
Success! -- Sharkey
Finally! My 3D accelerator on my home machine hasn't been working for weeks, and I never
got around to fixing it. The display kicked out whenever I started up a 3D game. Turns out
the memory allocation for the card was around two blocks from my 2D card, and whenever it
would fire up they would conflict.
Jack in the Box -- Sharkey
I go to get food at around midnite at Jack in the Box, and the line is 6 cars long. And
the line took at least three minutes for each person. I was in line for around 20 minutes,
and you know why? That new, "We don't make it until you order it" policy. Their
food was hot, fresh, and delicously artery clogging, but I had to wait forever to get it
at midnite.
Sad to be a human -- Sharkey
Ok, this is pathetic. Remember that kid that stole a pistol and shot three girls at his
school? Well, the families of the victims are suing Hollywood, porn sites on the Net, and
the videogame industry. Click here
for the full story. Here's an interesting tidbit:
Carneal also enjoyed playing
popular, ultraviolent computer games such as "Doom," "Quake" and
"Redneck Rampage," which honed his shooting skills, the lawsuit said.
Now, I know it's hard for them to grasp this, but you can't hone shooting skills with a
keyboard. The ability to move your fingers across the numerical keypad isn't going to
affect your ability to accurately shoot a gun. They also name Mortal Kombat in the suit.
I'm sure that fierce button pressing skills aided in his killing spree. Wake up people,
it's the victim's fault for getting in the way of those bullets.
Demolition kicks ass -- Sharkey
Mabs and I enjoyed letting off some steam by smashing the crap out of a small building
last night. We got it all on tape, hopefully Mox gets it edited and we can have pics/mpegs
up for you to enjoy.
Advanced TPM tickets -- Mr. Mabs
Well, Lucasfilm and Fox are telling some theatres that they can sell tickets early if they
already have contracts with companies to sell them. How does this affect anyone in Orange
County? None.
Like they wouldn't sell the advanced
tickets anyway. --Sharkey
GotM messageboard -- Sharkey
Mark over at GotM pretty much
cut-n-pasted the Frustrated Forum onto GotM, which is alright by me since she shut hers
down. I recognized it instantly because Mabs and I always hated the loook of it. He also
started up his own Web Warz with Frus, I seem to remember us doing something like that :)
Keepin' the peace with Coolio --
Mr. Mabs
Coolio pleaded no contest to possesion of a firearm and was sentenced to10 days in jail
and is to be present at an autopsy of a youth killed by gunfire.
Gas + Fire = dumbass -- Mr. Mabs
An abusive husband killed his wife by setting her on fire, then died in an explosion when
he yanked out a gas line in hopes of making it look like an accident. William Reese, a 45
year old Atlanta resident, doused his wife Rosemary with gasoline and set her on fire.
Then, he wrenched the gas line loose, causing an explosion which killed him.
Badass Movies -- Mr. Mabs
Thanks to everyone for their participation in the 101 Essential Badass Movies. The list is
compiled, but the individual reviews aren't up yet. Have a look at the list here.
The mudslinging continues -- Sharkey
Cruise over to Menstruated's forum
for a good laugh. What's funny is that you'd expect Shlonglor to be the one resorting to
name calling. With topics like "You have no balls", she and the other
left-wingers are making an effective statement for liberalism. You go girl.
Pieclopedia Update -- Sharkey
Two more additions to the ol' Pieclopedia. New entries Tollhouse and Forbidden
Pie.
Menstruated = whiner -- Sharkey
Jeez, can you get me a tissue? If you haven't read her pagelong bitch, Check it out. Seriously, if you start
sharing your opinions publicly, you've got to be prepared for people not liking them. And
if you don't want a fucking page war, DONT START ONE. Bitch bitch bitch. You sit and rant
about not having it easy as a kid. Like we all did! I'm not rich and never have been. What
makes you so fucking special?
I see things through my experiences and
my personality. I tend to see shades of grey. I realize there are no easy answers.
I have a warped sense of humor.
I have biased political ideas.
I read a lot of philosophy and
political science books.
Really, me too. Maybe we should party. But seriously, if it isn't fun to write this
stuff, then stop writing. Don't bitch dammit! And for God's sake, don't let people like me
get to you. So what if I'm an asshole? Stand by your opinions! Is she saying that when
adversity strikes, you should run? Or maybe she's "weak" and needs someone to
defend her :)
Seriously, if she quits I'll be very disappointed. I always thought she was stronger
than that, and she made things more interesting. Guess we'll have to wait and see.
Bummer for you -- Sharkey
AMC is raising their ticket prices for some LA theatres from $7.75 to $8.50. Boy, all that
and you've gotta pay an assload for popcorn and shit. Good thing I don't, or a lot of AMC
execs would be good and dead right now.
Oops -- Sharkey
Police responding to an alarm call for a burglary in Nairobi accidentally shot and killed
one man, and wounded his mother and sister. The man was driving his father, the victim of
the burglary, to the hospital when his car smashed into a police vehicle. The police
mistook them for the criminals, and opened fire. See what good deeds get you kids? Seven
bullets care of The Man.
Movie Review: Go -- Sharkey
OK, you're either going to love Go or hate it. If you hate it, it's because the movie
completely rips off the storytelling style of Pulp Fiction. It follows three stories, all
of which interweave the same way the stories in Pulp Fiction did (and a few movies even
before that). On the other hand, you could love it. And with good reason. The movie is
fucking hysterical. Everyone in the theatre was laughing out loud through the entire
second story ("two chicks at the same time?"). Plus, it's got Katie
Holmes, resident Dutch Apple. So if you get all
bent when a movie steals cinematic elements from others, stay away!! Go back to your homes
and stay there. But trust me when I say that if I paid to see movies, I'd wouldn't have
felt cheated out of $7 for this great flick.
BTW, the cat scene kicked ass.
More writers wanted --
Sharkey
Ok, you all know the drill. If you're a BadassMoFo, who can write and is funny, e-mail me.
We could use more postings, articles, and input. Tards need not apply.
New links -- Sharkey
Got a couple of e-mails today. One was from Solosier about that "Strangers
with Candy" bullshit, and another one from Spud, who was <kissing ass>. Check em' out.
Bud gettin' hitched --
Sharkey
Our music editor, Bud, is getting hitched. Does that mean he can't be juvenile or sexist
on the site? Hope not, according to Frustrated that's our niche. :) Best wishes go out to
Bud and Jen.
Learning Perl -- Sharkey
Well, I'm going to start learning Perl so I can integrate more cgi into my sites. I found
a great tutorial the other day, and I'm going to the bookstore today to get more reference
materials. Fun.
Shlonglor's car stolen --
Sharkey
Whoa, head on over to Shlonglor's
site. Guess his new Civic Si Coupe got stolen last night. That sucks. And I'm pretty sure
he lives in Irvine, which has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. I hope he gets
it back, the Blizzard staffers were drooling all over it.
Update: They found his car in Riverside. Buncha pricks. It
must have been a pretty shitty day for ol' Shlonglor.
Mabs' ideas -- Sharkey
Mabs brought up some good ideas for the site yesterday. Now I've actually got to work to
make them happen. He had some cool ideas for the movies section and wants to integrate a
forum into the site. Off to work for me.
| Wednesday, April 09,
1999 |
TV -- Sharkey
I take it everyone saw the new South Park tonight. It was fucking hysterical, but does
anyone else get the feeling that they're trying to get thrown off the air? Next weeks
looks like a particularly offensive episode.
Also, they showed that Strangers with candy show right afterwards. Sadly, it was not a
joke. It was one of the lamest piles of shit I've ever seen. Pile. of. shit. That's all
there is to say.
Crappity Crap Crap -- Sharkey
I've felt like shit lately, so I haven't done much for the site in the last couple of
days. Hopefully it will be gone by tomorrow. I was really pissed off by the time I got
home tonight, but I've got a monster of a fucking headache. I just swallowed quite a few
aspirin, so I'm waiting for the warm embrace of sleep to envelop me.
Booking a seat in Hell -- Sharkey
A guy in a ski mask walked into a Louisianna church on Easter and robbed the congregation
of $1200 and some drivers licences. I can see St. Peter looking at this guy and chuckling.
Strangers with candy -- Sharkey
Has anybody seen this show? I saw the fucking commercial twice today and the damn thing
keeps running through my head. Like I didn't feel like shit already from being sick, now
I've got visions of the freak of a main character on the show running through my head.
Somebody please tell me if the show is crap or not (I'm sure it is). I thought it was a
joke at first. At least I hoped it was a fucking joke. No such luck.
Watch the World Die is back -- Sharkey
Mighty mighty KillKrazy is back with a new URL and minus the lame Xoombar. Check it out.
Sony = Bastards -- Sharkey
Well, you may remember a week ago when I posted about a hardware manufacturer shutting
Dave down, and I thought that it might be Sony. It was, and they're going for blood.
They're suing Dave for copyright infringement, contributory copyright infringement and
unfair competition. How lame is this? Dave didn't make any of the PSX emulators, he just
put them up on his site! I hope the courts overturn this case too.
Shitter's full! -- Sharkey
North Carolina officials are attempting to rid the state of it's 50,000+ outhouses.
Apparently a shitload (pun intended) of residents still go outside to take a dump. It's
probably going to cost a few million to bring N.C. into the age of the flusher.
Welcome UAintMe -- Sharkey
It is with great pleasure that I welcome our music editor, UAintMe, to Badassmofo.com. Cruise on over to Music to sample his first review.
Thanks -- Sharkey
Thanks a bunch to Geeklife for
linking to us. Spreading the good word of pie to everyone.
Review -- Mr. Mabs
If you're a pie lover, you owe it to yourself to pick up this month's Playboy magazine.
Charlize Theron is hot, and quite naked. And the Playmate of the Month should be my new
wife. Are you still reading this? Shouldn't you be out buying Playboy? GO. NOW.
Something cool on it's way -- Sharkey
No, I don't mean the war that will most likely ensue after Mabs' post... Something really
cool. You will like, I promise. Stay tuned.
Slackers and Menstruated -- Mr. Mabs
Dammit, only eleven responses to the most badass movies of all time?? You guys can do
better than that. Let me recap, we want the top 101 badass movies of all time, and we want
them fast! E-mail me, Mr. Mabs
, with your submissions. As I wait for responses (not patiently), I'll be trying to figure
out who pissed in Fru..I mean someone else's Wheaties. It's humor, see normal people laugh
at humor when they're not trying to trade thier food stamps for wine coolers and
cigarettes. And also, since I can see she won't mention our name, we won't mention hers.
From now on, we'll call her Menstruated. Menstruated.org, it has a nice ring to it.
Movie Review -- Mr. Mabs
10 Things I Hate About You
Well, it was worth the time and the price I paid, 'course, I haven't paid to see a
movie since 1991. I give it a C+. Chicks are hot, but jailbait.
Happy Easter! -- Sharkey
Happy Easter everybody! As an Easter gift to you all I think I'll finally clean up the
code around here so the page loads faster! :) Actually, big fun and surprises in store
from me, and hopefully our music editor (that's right, we actually have one) and movie
editor will have their stuff done soon. I'm off to Easter brunch, so enjoy yourselves
everybody!
Import Games Reviewed -- Sharkey
Critical Blow -- A-
I know it's an older import, but it's a bitchin game with a cool new twist on the
fighting genre. You can collect cards which can give you other character's special
abilities. Sort of like an RPGish quality, but it works really well. It does take awhile
to build up a bitchin' character though, but it's worth it.
Ehrgeiz -- B+
If you haven't played this in the arcade, you've been missing out. Seeing the FF7
characters in a fighting game is worth it alone, but this arcade to home conversion has a
lot of extra features. The quest mode, which reminds me of Tobal, kicks much ass. The
mini-games are fun as well.
Yep, it was me -- Sharkey
Well, seems that the humor on this site has upset Frustrated again. She didn't find my buddy
John's Malthion X plan funny. If there are any
proctologists out there, see if you can remove that humongous stick from her ass, will ya
:) Good to know that we've got some female readers out there :P
Life lesson of the day -- Sharkey
Bad Idea #1: Even if you've got an army of baddies, don't take on Shaft. Shaft is one bad
motha. Armed with seventies disco music and his brothas from the hood, he'll beat your ass
and then blow up your neighborhood. Then to top it all off, he'll score with a few chicks.
Damn right...
Horrid Commercials part 2 -- Sharkey
OK, now you heard me bitch about the damn Old Navy commercials (drawstring? WTF?), so you
should get used to it. I don't watch much TV. All the shows have gone to hell, except
for anime flicks on Sci-fi and the Tom Greene show. But when I watch, I don't want
to watch anyone sell me fucking 80's music. I also don't want to hear how some asshole got
a free psychic reading and I can too. I wouldn't mind if the commercials at least bared
some semblance of quality, or even made an intelligent case as to why you should use their
product. But instead, they get the most intellectually devoid people to rant about how
phenominal it is and how you can't live without it. These are all people who must
participate in the Malthion X plan.
Dave's Back! -- Sharkey
Dave's Classics is back
online! Dave isn't allowed to say who shut him down, or why, but it's good to have him
back! If anybody has any info on whodunnit, let us know so we can kick some ass.
This is gonna cost us -- Sharkey
I'm sorry Frustrated, I really am.
But this was sent to me today, and I just had to post it. It perfectly demonstrates that
the content on this site could be much more juvenile/sexist. Saigon John sent in this article. It must be said that in NO WAY did I or any
member of the staff have a part in this. This guy wrote this shit on his own. If you have
ANY problems with it, address it to him, I'm not in this to start some flaming war. Enjoy.
Controversy -- Sharkey
Well, it seems that this Frustrated thing is still pissing people off. Schlyer of In Your Ear had this to say
about Frustrated's
"redneck" and "sexist" labels of sites like this:
If the Pie stuff at
badassmofo.com is sexist, then so is this stuff. I tend to think neither is, they
are both just humor that use gender to get a laugh. But since it seems that you did
have a problem with the Pie terms, then you are hypocritical for posting material that is
equally as "offensive" to males. You can't hide behind whats good for the
goose after you slam the goose for doing it.
Well. If anyone out there is offended by the pieclopedia, or any other content, here's
a news flash: YOU DON'T HAVE TO READ IT. That's right, if you don't like
our humor, then you can point your browser elsewhere. Somewhere along the lines we were
bound to piss somebody off, so don't worry if you leave, we won't hate you for it. And
hey, if you don't like us, let us know why. We do this because we actually have visitors
who come back wanting more, and tell us so. Those loyal Badass MoFo's are why we press on.
You guys kick ass.
Badass Saudis?-- Sharkey
Hey, I was going through the logs, and noticed that we had a visitor today from Saudi
Arabia! Wow, whoever that is, e-mail me and let me know who you are. If you're one of the
troops over there, then good to see we're entertaining you guys. (I had to listen to Wags
bitch the whole time he was there).
Say no to daylight savings -- Sharkey
Well, a bunch of Mexicans are protesting daylight savings time, and not setting their
clocks ahead this month to reflect the change. In case you're an ignorant jackass,
daylight savings was instituted to save energy by adding an hour to the afternoon in
Spring, and then switching that hour to the morning in October. The entire state of Sonora
is boycotting daylight savings. Hey, I'm with ya. And while we're at it, I'm also
boycotting taxes, scientology, and Kenny G. You too can make a difference.
Matrix -- Sharkey
Well, that was a phenomenal movie! The plot was good, the action and special effects were
fantastic. And the fight scenes? Ass-kickin'. I was thoroughly impressed. Right up until
the end that is. What a horses-ass way to end that movie. Go see it anyway, it just leaves
you wanting much more at the end.
April Fools Day -- Sharkey
Well. looks like everyone is putting up some sort of April fools prank. Roosh put up a fake hack, and it looks
like User
Friendly has been closed due to legal difficulties. Cute people.
Old News for March
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