8 MM -- Sharkey
Well, went and saw 8MM on opening night. It wasn't phenominal, but it wasn't bad. I've never been a big Schumacher fan. Aside from St. Elmo's Fire and Lost Boys I pretty much hate everything he's done. (Nipples on Batman, that bitch) He tries a lot of effects to make you feel how Nicholas Cage is losing it, but it's counteracted by Cage's mediocre performance. This movie is definitely not for pussies. There's some pretty fucked up shit, but what would you expect from Andrew Walker (Seven). It started off slow, but got more interesting up until the end, which was a disappointment.  As Mr. Mabs said, this is not a first date movie, or maybe it is, if you got the key lime pie in effect.

MABS' Movies -- Sharkey
Mr. Mabs is running the movies section here, and it just got updated,  so go on over and check out the upcoming badass flicks.

Updates -- Sharkey
Well, as you can see, the old site look is back. I'm going to spend tomorrow fixing the tables in Netscape, so the frames are back for today. Deal with it.

Traffic School bites my ass -- Sharkey
Got a whopping two hours of sleep before heading off to traffic school. I wrote up some more additions to the BadassMoFo's Guide to Life™ inbetween naps, and when the bitch next to me poked me in the ribs to wake me up. She was the one in every class who has to comment on everything, laugh at every fucking joke, and asks the stupid questions. She reeked of cigarette smoke too, so I told her to sit her ass in the back row. Damn skippy she moved. What does all this have to do with BadassMoFo? Well, I spent a long time writing up something I call : BadassMoFo's Guide to Things I Hate. When I lack sleep and am shoehorned into a crowded room with stinky bitches for eight hours, the anger gets flowin'. I got up to about three pages. Expect it soon.

OOPS!! -- Sharkey
Aw crap. I just noticed that in my last update, Netscape started viewing this page all wrong. I'm too tired to fix it now (its 5AM hot dammit!) so I'll fix it sometime tomorrow. All you Netscape punks can just wait.

We're toast -- Sharkey
According to the CIA, we're all doomed once Y2K is in effect. Read all about it here. I think they're just saying the shit about the missles sos we can let a few fly on Jan 1st and say "Oops! That wacky Y2K, sorry France." Hey, that's not a bad idea.

Preacher: The Movie -- Sharkey
YES! The highly controversial and graphic comic series is coming to the big screen. Garth Ennis (creator/writer) will be writing the script for the movie. Rachel Talalay will direct, and Kevin Smith will be the executive producer! Still no word on the cast, although Ben Affleck, Cameron Diaz, and Samuel L. Jackson have all been offered roles in the movie. And fans of the comic, yes, Arseface will be in it, subtitles and all.

Game Reviewed -- Sharkey
Syphon Filter (PS) Action packed, kinda like you're watching a movie. This is another 3rd person shooter, but it kicks a lot of ass. And FINALLY a game comes out with locked targeting! You can lock on, run the other way and shoot behind you. The explosions and weapons are top notch, and the control isn't too bad. A jumping feature would have been nice, and the strafing (while handy) looks lame. (B+)

MST3K Cancelled -- Sharkey
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! COMMIE BASTARDS! I'LL KILL YOU ALL!!!!!

More updating....
Did more updates tonight, enjoy. I would also like to say that I will try not to drink and update like I did yesterday, I can be a mad drunk sometimes.

Site Revamp -- Sharkey
Almost done, I figure I can post it up now. Links on the sidebar now. Hope to make the countdown look cooler. I got rid of the frames. Some people like em', some don't. They get really messed up in older browsers, so I chucked them. If you don't like it, mail me and I probably won't give a shit.

Good music and alcohol -- Sharkey
I found a fantastic place to download mp3s last night. Not just any mp3s, but video game soundtrack mp3s. Every one I could ever fucking want. It's fucking unbelievable how much is there. And NO, I'm not going to tell you where it is.Then you'll start downloading shit and screwing with my bandwidth. Mr. Mabs mocked me once about the video game music thing, but lemme explain it to you. I'm not talking about the shitballs Mario theme here. I mean the import shit from Japanese RPGs, where they take game music seriously. It calms me, which is good, because if I had to put up with every day assholes without it, I would have killed you all by now. My powers are vast and considerable, and must be kept in check with calming music and alcohol. Speaking of which, I won't drink before I update next time. Mabs, you have Dave Matthews, I have Genso Suikoden. That simple.

Gene Siskel: film critic dead at 53 -- Sharkey
||CNN.com||
(thanks to GL)

Analyze This: Lame, yet entertaining -- Sharkey
Went to see "Analyze This" tonight. I can't believe they made DeNiro cry like a sissy girl. They set him up to be this badass like in "Casino", and he turns out to be a whiny bitch. And not only that, he's bad at it! I've never seen DeNiro act so ineptly as when he has to act like a crying bitch. He's too much of a Badass MoFo to degrade himself that way. It was funny at times, but predictable.

Import Games Reviewed -- Sharkey
Street Fighter Zero 3 (PS): Excellent, a damn near perfect arcade translation, and with those extra features you've come to expect from Capcom. If you loved the arcade version, buy the Playstation version. It completely makes up for the crap that was Street Fighter 3. A-

R4: Ridge Racer Type 4  (PS): Not quite the Gran Turismo killer we all hoped for, but a fine racing game all the same. It's got a lot of extras that I wish Gran Turismo had. The main problem I have with the game is the feel of speed, or lack thereof. You feel like you're doing 60 down the freeway. But the game has clean graphics, a bonus disc with the orig. Ridge Racer, and one of the coolest intro movies I've ever seen. Smooth control, and pretty good music. B

eBAY scam -- Sharkey
Some dude stuck some fraudulent ads for PCs on eBAY, and got his dumb ass thrown in jail. If you're gonna scam, don't get caught.

Craig Lee Hare used Internet auction houses eBay and Up4Sale to advertise new and used computers, attracting bids of as much as $2,700 each, but never delivered the goods or issued refunds.
Hare was sentenced by the U.S. District Court in Southern District of Florida last Friday to six months home detention and three years probation and was ordered to pay restitution of over $22,000

Final Fantasy Collection comes to US -- Sharkey
Finally! Square has announced that FF Collection is coming to the US later this year! The collection will include slightly enhanced versions of FF5 and FF6. Unfortunately, Final Fantasy IV (FF2 in the US) will be absent from the collection, but at least we finally get FF5 on US shores.

I pity the fool... -- Sharkey
Check out this site. Mr. T versus Quake and Highlander. Pretty funny.

Bust out Mr Mabs' pimp stick -- Sharkey
Cops in Vegas is on, and they be bustin dem ho's. One ho actually said that her pimp lathered her up wth baby oil and beat her ass with a pimp stick! The pimp stick be about 8 wire coat hangers twisted together, and you gots ta bust it out when there be reckless eyeballin' in da house. Aight, no more pimp speak for me.

Alcoholic pot-smoking model pie -- Sharkey
Kate Moss admitted to being an alcoholic pot smoker, and that she hasnt done a show sober in 10 years. Here's a quote on her work habits.

"That's what you do. You just kind of have champagne. You always have champagne before shows. Always, " she explains. "Even at 10 in the morning. It got to the point one time when we said, 'We're not going out without any champagne.' Terrible.

Drunkened pot-smoker or not, I'd be grubbin' on that pie.

Playstation 2 Specs -- Sharkey
Playstation 2 specs have finally been revealed. Check them out here. 55 million polygons/second, 128-bit CPU, sweeeet.

PIII optimized crap -- Sharkey
Well, bandwagon jumpers unite. The first group of PIII supporters are here, and they've got an *ahem* impressive lineup. From Interplay: Descent 3, Sacrifice, Star Trek: Klingon Academy, Stonekeep II, Baseball 2000, Powerboat 2, and Messiah. Wow, Messiah is vaporware, Descent has always sucked, and Star Trek blows. Gathering of Developers and THQ have also thrown their support to Intel with some announcements. Whoopdy-shit. 

Dutch Apple to wed Manson -- Sharkey
Rose McGowan, the pair of tits from Doom Generation and Scream, is getting hitched to freaky bitch Marylin Manson. Normally I wouldnt give a shit, but she's one choice piece of pie.

Fanatics -- Sharkey
Countingdown.com, has a message forum for people lining up for Star Wars Episode 1. Apparently, a bunch of people are going to line up at the Big Newport here in OC as many as three days in advance. I'll be there, one of the guys shooting them with paintballs. Check it out here.

Kick Ass -- Sharkey
Here's something you don't see every day, and ass-kicking machine. See it here. Maybe the old guy needs it, but I kick plenty on my own thanks. 

Y2K and Wonderbread -- Sharkey
Have no fear kiddies, the world may come to an end, but we'll still have peanut butter sammiches. Check it out. Thanks to Slashdot.org.

Pentium III = Price Drops -- Sharkey
The new Pentium III chips come out on the 28th of this month. That means that all other chip prices will drop. Only jackholes will rush out and buy the new chip, when it won't be put to effective use for a year. I love America. Built on the money of the tards. I hope their ads have the Lab Guys dancing to "Love Rollercoaster" again. Or you know, hot chicks dancing to "Love Rollercoaster". That song just invites a fuckin' party.

I suck at bowling. -- Sharkey
I went bowling last night. I suck at bowling. Send the ball straight into that ten pin with alarming speed, and yet two or three always remain. Just a little to the left, little to the right, dead on, no matter what, the DAMN PINS REMAIN! So I start swearing after a game or two of this. Then this guy tells me to take it easy, it's just a game. So I told him to shut the fuck up or he'd find a fourteen pound ball up his arse. And he complied. Then I went into the arcade and trashed the shit outta everyone at some Capcom games. x

More DragonBall Z -- Sharkey
Funimation has signed on to do 50 more English dubbed eps. of DragonBall Z! Cartoon Network better play em, or I'll be puttin' the smack down on they-ass! These 50 episodes would conclude the Freeza saga, which was a kick-ass battle. Almost makes you forget about our stinking whiny bitch liberal hippy government.Almost.

Lonestar, good eats -- Sharkey
Went to Lonestar Steakhouse for dinner tonight. They've got some damn fine eats. Not better than the Outback in my opinion, but still some fantastic steak.

Laptop? Sweeeeet -- Sharkey
I got a laptop! Know what that means? More updates!! It's off to the toystore (MicroCenter) for some extras.

Wags is a dumbass -- Sharkey
Three years. That's how much longer our military correspondent Wags must tour around the globe with the military. I told that Jackass not to go, and for the first time ever, my bro paid me no heed. See what happens? Wags gave me a call today from Guam, where he returned to after his stint in Abu Dhabi. He'll be back for two weeks this August to, in his own words, "Go to the Comic-Con, eat Del-Taco food, and beat the living piss out of my enemies." We eagerly await the mayhem.

Rushmore -- Sharkey
Great movie. The kid in it is such an ass, you have to like him. Go see it. It reminded me of one of my favorite books, "Youth In Revolt" by C.D. Payne. Read it if you get a chance.

Final Fantasy VIII -- Sharkey
Final Fantasy VIII was released the other day in Japan. The US version won't be released for half a year, so I'll be brushing up on my Japanese and getting the import.

If it does not fit... -- Sharkey
Cuban cigar lover President Clinton was aquitted by the grand jury today. After the trial was over, he stood outside the White House and said some sobering words.

In your heart sir, " called out ABC's Sam Donaldson "Can you forgive and forget?" Clinton replied, "Any person who asks forgiveness has to be prepared to give it." to which he added, "Now I'm gonna get me some pie."

Pie lover or not, it's still a sad state of affairs. Most people in this country couldn't care less, sometimes including myself. But this is just another symbol of American society's downward spiral into it's pussy-whipped liberal state. We'll just have to wait and see how much worse it gets.

Nintendo sues emulator authors -- Sharkey
The authors of the UltraHLE, the N64 emulator that took the world by storm last month, are being sued by Nintendo. The formal statement from Nintendo reads:

"Nintendo is very disturbed that Reality Man and Epsilon have widely distributed a product designed solely to play infringing copies of copyrighted works developed by Nintendo and its third-party licensees. We are taking several measures to further protect and enforce our intellectual property rights which, of course, includes the bringing of legal action."

This is pretty much uncharted territory. The case Sony has filed against Connectix (Playstation Emulator) has so far been a failure, therefore one would assume that Nintendo will be facing a tough challenge. There is no evidence that the emulator was designed to run illegal software, therefore as long as the lockout chip was not bypassed (which would infringe on Nintendo's copyright), no laws have been broken. 1999 has turned out to be a big year for emulation.


Teletubbies are for Homos -- Sharkey
The Rev. Jerry Falwell is trying to out one of the "Teletubbies". The February edition of Falwell's National Liberty Journal warns parents that the purple, purse-carrying Tinky Winky may be a gay role model; to support its claim, the article notes that purple is the gay-pride color and that the character's antenna is shaped like a triangle-a symbol of gay pride.

"The fact that he carries a magic bag doesn’t make him gay," Steve Rice [spokesman for
the show] said. "It's a children's show, folks. To think we would be putting sexual
innuendo in a children's show is kind of outlandish."

Tinky Winky was last heard to have said "All we were tryin' to do was spread the damn love, man!"

Meanwhile, Falwell apparently isn't alone in his conclusions: The gay magazine Out has previously alluded to Tinky Winky's possible homosexuality. I'd file this one under, "Who gives a shit?"

BadassMoFo Is Alive!!!
The BadassMoFo's Guide to Life is up and running! We're still in the construction phase around here, so expect a little renovation throughout the week. Let me start by introducing myself. I am Sharkey, the webmaster here at badassmofo.com. I'm the creator of the comic series "The Drifter". I plan to use this site as my publishing ground for the series, free of charge to anyone who wants to read. We also feature the BadassMoFo's Guide to Life™. This easy to use guide is filled with facts and information to help make you the baddest-ass MoFo in town. We'll have the latest news, movie reviews, and all around ass kicking information that you need to know. So have a look around, and enjoy.