Gads I hate this -- Sharkey @ 10:14 pm
I figure I may as well use my posting access while Ive still got it. After only one day of not having all you guys with me, I already miss it. I realize that I dont want to be without this site again, so Im going to fight for it.

Nobody's taking the MoFo down again on my watch. Ever.

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Good News, Bad News -- Sharkey @ 6:52 pm
Good news is, I found out what happened, and Network Solutions is in the process of fixing it now. Bad news is, the site'll be like this for a couple of days, maybe less. But at least I can still post at home. That probably wont last through tomorrow. Anyway, I'll keep everybody posted on whats up, and try to get back to normal (or as normal as possible) around here tomorrow.

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My name is Pimmmmmmmmp Rock -- Mr Mabs @ 7:40 am
Kid Rock has been named Pimp Daddy of the Year by Car Stereo Review. What’s next Dr. Dre gets named smoker of the year by High Times? Well one thing for sure the awards ceremony had to be better than the Grammy’s. Oh well ... one more thing for you big toy fans, McFarlane Toys is releasing an action figured based on the rapper later this year. OK? (Yes I know this is about a week old but I had to post about it)

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WTF?! -- Bolt Boy @ 2:34 am
Well, It looks like this is finally it. Sharkey and myself only have one more day of editing at Mox's joint and "On the Prowl" will be out. Thank God! Only one problem remains: WHERE THE FUCK IS MOX!?! He went out to get drunk one night, and we never heard from him again.

Same thing with Billy Ray. Last time I saw him was in Vegas. Sure we sold him to some chicks for a quater but that was over a month ago! Where are you Billy?!

What the fuck is happening!! First we lose posters, then Billy Ray and Mox disappear, and now I can't even get on to the freakin' site without going to some pseudo, Badassmofo site. Its not even bad ass. ARGH!!! Up is down, black is white, dogs and cats living together, its chaos I tell you!!

Somebody help me! I'm really losing it....

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Just in case -- Sharkey @ 12:33 am
The DNS is switching over, and there aint shit I can do about it right now. What you can do, just in case your ISP switches over, is bookmark the IP address so you can always see the news. Hopefully I can get this resolved early tomorrow.

IP address: http://216.74.3.64

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Chill there, homies -- Sharkey @ 11:34 pm
I seem to have touched a nerve by talking about a "professional wrestler". Now, just to ease everyone's mind, I don't watch wrasslin' too often. I did watch tonight, because it was a Pay-Per-View match at Bolt Boy/Billy Ray's and there were other MoFo's in attendance. Pro wrestling is certainly entertaining, but definitely not real. Now if anyone wants to dispute that its entertaining, then leave my site right now. You dont think its entertaining to sit and nitpick when these guys are going for the blood packet? Or commenting on how convenient it is that a trashcan just "happens" to be on the side of the ring? No, its entertaining to me to watch guys pretending to kick the shit out of each other. Its like the same novelty I get out of MST3K.

Oh, and dont bring the "exploitation of women" into it either. I don't think any woman can be called "exploited" while she's paid six figures to parade around and flaunt their terrible acting skills.

Ah, and apparently some of you have already switched to the new server. I can't see how this wouldve happened, seeing as how I HAVENT SWITCHED TO THE NEW ONE DAMMIT! Which means that the folks at Bla-Bla did it, which is not very cool at all, considering I HAVENT GOT ACCESS TO THE NEW SERVER YET!

Needless to say, its not a pleasant evening anymore.

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Rock in The Mummy 2 -- Sharkey @ 2:09 pm
Coming Attractions is reporting a rumor that the WWF's reigning badass, The Rock, has been offered a part in the sequel to The Mummy. Brendan Fraser will be back in the same role, and The Rock would be playing a Han Solo-ish second lead if he agreed to the part. Very interesting, I was wondering when wrasslin' would become popular enough again to have wrestling stars become movie stars. Remember all the bad Hulk Hogan flicks? Hope The Rock doesnt go do any Three Ninjas movies. I'd hate to have to murder him in his sleep.

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Random Stuff -- Sharkey @ 2:23 am
Ahh, such a prod"uctive day yesterday. Got work done on my car, On The Prowl almost finished (thanks Mox), all kinds of other good stuff. Went to Disnelyland again with most of the BAMF staffers again, this time because Billy Ray's woman challenged him to get a bunch of hot chicks phone numbers and he needed wingmen.

I wanted to thank everyone who sent in wallpapers the other day, they kicked some serious ass! If you're wondering when they'll go up, just hold your ass for a minute while I get the new wallpaper section online. Aw yeah baby, its all on now. (BTW, always feel free to send in wallpapers, I seriously dig 'em).

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Raging Fatass loves Gladiator -- Sharkey @ 1:57 am
That's right, I'm talking about the 'Net's resident raging fatass, Harry Knowles, web-hamster of Aint-It-Cool-News. I saw a pic of Knowles the other day and I never realized what a raging fat-ass that guy is. I mean, I have never met a man that huge before (at least, not one without a disorder). That guy needs to run his ass around the block a few times. Of course, that's if you replace the word "block" with the word "state", and the word "few" with "a million". (viva el Simpsons!)

Wow, that was quite a tangent for just news that Knowles put up a review of Gladiator. Still, that winking jackhole could stand to lose a few hundred.

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Rapture is GO! -- wrongforum @ 1:17 am
In a surprise turn, Jesus Christ returned to earth today, taking with him all the true believers in the whole world, leaving all the wretched assholes that treated him bad on a swiftly dying planet. The Messiah touched down in Jeruselem with a massive forty-foot long sandal and crushed the Dome of the Rock with his big toe. He then kicked all the Muslims out of town, yelled at the Jews, and then ran over to Rome, where he quickly scooped up the Pope and jumped back up into heaven. Shortly thereafter, four horsemen appeared on the horizon, blowing shit up as they ran all over the place. The sky turned to sackcloth, and the moon was as blood. The stars fell from the heavens, and the angel of the Lord emptied her bowl of wrath on the unsuspecting planet. I won't even go into the parts about the Beast and Babylon - it's just too fucked up.

Luckily, my ego was strong enough to send all the minions of Christ running back home with their tails between their legs. I gave melvins to the four horsemen, and frogged the angel of the Lord in the arm. I yelled at Jesus and said, "HEY! YOU! No, the other son of God. Yeah, you! Gimme my Pope back!" Well, he didn't give the Pope back. Oh well. 2 out of 3 ain't bad.

Somebody on some site said that we were full of ourselves. I guess I just proved it :P

Uhh, I think I know what happened here kids. If someone can find the ditch that wrongforum is no doubt passed out in right now, please take away his pills and bottle of hooch. Also, grab his ID so this doesnt happen again. -- Sharkey

Shhh, man. I'm trying to scare the new posters away before they ever start. I'LL NEVER SHARE THE MAIN PAGE WITH ANYONE ELSE AGAIN! I'M CRAAAAAAZEEEEE! LONG LIVE SPOOKY! -- wrongforum

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Hail to a real BAMF -- Solo @ 8:50 pm
channel surfing tonight i ran across a movie on starz that i haven't seen in a long time. Dolemite! Dolemite is the old school bamf. he is one fly mofo. he was one of my hero's growing up. If you have never seen the movie, i suggest you do... Dance motherfucker, dance.

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New MP3 of the moment -- Sharkey @ 3:04 pm
I've decided that from now on, with every new BAMF MP3 of the Moment I'll give a little info about the band and why they dont get enough damn recognition. Case in point with today's band: Reel Big Fish. Now these guys are one of my favorite bands ever, and they've been around OC for years. Now, how they went and released this CD last month without me knowing is beyond me. I'm off to the store to pick it up. Do yourself a favor, download the MP3 - Why do all girls think theyre fat? and enjoy.

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Ditch the soup-strainer or lose the beer -- Sharkey @ 2:40 pm
According to British Scientists, having a thick moustache can cost you beer. Here's the skinny:

New scientific research commissioned by Guinness (DGE.L) showed that between them, an estimated 92,370 mustachioed Guinness drinkers lose up to 162,719 pints of the black stuff each year -- worth some 423,070 pounds ($675,900).

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New Posters -- Mr Mabs @ 6:06 am
First I would like to thank all the Badassmofo supporters who took the time and entered applications to post on the MoFo. So far I have received over 35 applications, (not to bad this time). Glancing over the e-mails I have narrowed it down to about 10 selections. Sharkey and I will go from there, till the time comes and we take it to the readers. Also I would like to twist the rules and give some of you lethargic MoFo’s some more time to get your submissions into us. You now have until Monday at 12 noon.

Looking though all the apps it looks like we could rejuvenate the music section, add to the movies, and get the Rants back online. There are a few problems with the applications though, No more fairy-tale stories of getting laid. This isn’t Penthouse Letters, and I don’t care if you are 14 and she is 20. Just stop. Other than that they have been amusing to glance at and chuckle. Oh and two more things smuggling food into movie theaters and going to the Daytona 500 are not Badass. Got it?

For those of you wondering if we sent out anything to the finalists, we did not. I guess Mabs decided to extend the deadline (Hey, I got no problem with that) so there wont really be any finalists until Monday. And even so, he cant reply to e-mail right now anyway, something is severely fucked up with his machine so he can only receive mail. I'll get it fixed for him this weekend, but dont hold your breath for a response from Mabs. -- Sharkey

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Thanks to all the MoFos -- Sharkey @ 5:40 pm
Well, with the move to the new server coming up (don't worry, we'll be up through the whole thing), a new design for BAMF comes too. And with it come all the things I've wanted to give you MoFo's but haven't been able to. Big update to the Funstuff section coming, as well as some of the other areas that have fallen under neglect around here. (Like the Pieclopedia and Slice archive, See, I do listen) And for those of you who still want to apply for a poster position or writer postition, today is the LAST DAY to send in your articles. Need more info? Check it out right *hmya*.

Anyway, Wrongforum and myself will be putting in some work on the redesign, and I've got a bunch of stuff ready for the existing sections, but I want to hear what you want to see here on BAMF. Now, I don't want to hear any crap about existing sections, trust me I'm workin' on them. I want to hear about new stuff that you guys would enjoy. Use the comments forum, and let us hear what you want. And thanks guys, we couldnt do it without ya.

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BAMF Wallpaper -- Sharkey @ 4:32 pm
Not one hour after Wrongforum and I started discussing BAMF wallpaper did a faithful reader send in one of his own. Special thanks go out to Phil from http://unpc.net/ for whipping this bad boy up. Check it:

Click for 1024*768 wallpaper

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And it's 100% compatible, too -- wrongforum @ 1:52 pm
If you haven't seen it already, well, shame on you. Schlyer's NeoFlux has got a new layout, and was nice enough to not only make it Netscape compliant, but also Mac compliant. Now, that is what a real webmaster should be doing for his loyal readers. It looks great Schlyer, and of course, the content is second to none. Keep up the great work.

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Kiss your heatsink goodbye (someday) -- Sharkey @ 1:19 pm
There's an interesting article up on EETimes about a new thermoelectric material that becomes cool (around 200° C lower than the norm) when conducting electricity. It promises to eliminate heat sinks and cooling fans in electronic equipment. "..that low a temperature not only cools the chip, but could make it run 100 percent faster," said professor Mercouri Kanatzidis, the inventor of the substance that could answer every overclocker's prayers. Pretty sweet deal, lets just hope that they get it on the market and into machines sometime in the near future.

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Hasselhoff gets blowed up good -- Sharkey @ 1:04 pm
Good to see that the chumpiest guy on TV is getting whats comin' to him. Check this story:

According to a completed script, David Hasselhoff's character on Baywatch will be blown up at the end of the season. "I thought it was a joke when I read the script," he tells next week's issue of TV Guide. "I was upset. I was planning to leave, but not like that."

1. "Accidentally" falls into a pit of alligators
2. Falls prey to a horrid flesh-eating virus
3. Forced to listen to horrid contemporary music (including his) while rabid monkeys throw shit at him (figuratively and literally).

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Fox to clean up its act *pffft* -- Sharkey @ 11:19 am
Fox has apparently decided to scrap all of its exploitative reality based shows in the wake of the whole "Marry A Millionaire" fiasco. "Expressing what he termed 'frustration and anger' over the fallout from the special, Grushow said he intended to 'address how something like this wound up on our air.'" I'll tell you how, money. Lots and lots of dollar signs in the eyes of shameless, soulless executives. Now I'm all for our capatalist system, and I'm all for profits and whatnot, but for cryin' out loud there's human decency to think about here.

This is the best part of the article: "Mike Darnell, the Fox executive behind his network's reality shows such as "When Good Pets Go Bad," was unavailable for comment, the newspaper said." Does this mean that the two-hour "Wildest Police Video" this week will be cancelled? I hope not. Car crashes and sham marriages are two completely different things. No need to punish us people with souls for the sins of the heartless bastards in their programming division.

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Speaking of the Grammys... -- Captain Terror @ 6:13 am
I have to admit, I've never seen a bigger crock of shit in my life. Jennifer Lopez's tits aside, whats with Carlos fuckin Santana taking all the awards? That blows. And did you see them announce any alternative awards? Fuck no. Lenny Kravitz and Red Hot Chili Peppers won awards and they didn't even get air time. But we got to see the fricken Backstreet Boys twice. Is there no justice in the world? And whats with Christina Aguilara (however its spelled) all of a sudden exploring here 'latina' side? Your white bitch, get over it. And speaking of latinos, whats with the 1st Annual Latino Grammys next year that they were all talking about? Do you guys really need your own Grammys? I'm thinking about starting my own Italian-American Grammys. And what if someone decided they want the Caucasian Grammys, people would be all pissed off. I'm not being racist, I'm just asking why everything needs to be broken off by race. Anyway, I did like that chick from Garbage in the school girl outfit. Hey, how about a School Girl Grammys. Now that I'd watch!

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Slice of the Day -- Sharkey @ 11:01 pm
In celebration of that phenominal outfit she wore to the Grammys last night, I present to you Ms. Jennifer Lopez and her fantastic ass:

Image 1 :: Image 2 :: Image 3 :: Image 4 :: Image 5

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Jealous doc locks up the pie -- Sharkey @ 5:40 pm
Dude, some people will do anything to keep their slice out of someone else's mouth. Warped sent in this article about a doctor in Bejing who was arrested for padlocking a woman's vagina to prevent her from...*ahem* "spreading the wealth". Pretty messed up stuff, the guy used a rusty padlock pierced through two holes in her labia. Even worse, the guy was forcing her to live with him, threatening to kill her family if she didnt. The lovebirds met after he drugged and raped her during a routine checkup. Someone tell me that guy gets the chair, or the Bejing equivalent.

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Sell Out, with me oh yeah... -- Sharkey @ 3:43 pm
Well, it had to had to happen sooner or later guys, we're finally getting advertising. In order to not get killed by space/bandwidth restrictions, I got BAMF signed up with Bla-Bla.com for hosting, which also serves us with advertising. Now the ads come from Doubleclick, so if you havent opted out I'd suggest you do so now. This is definitely a good thing for the site, since one of the biggest hampers we've had here is our space limitations. Now I can upload everything I've been working on, we'll have streaming video (On the Prowl, etc.), and other fun goodies. Now the advertising isn't a pay-per-click job, so I wont be asking anyone to click on them. They are based on impressions, so if you really feel like helping out the MoFos, visit the site more often :)

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Toilet humour -- wrongforum @ 2:16 pm
A nice atheist named Warped sent me this story. Of course, he may not like the way things may be going here at BAMF - when the Wrongforum Conservative Nationalist Right Party takes control, the Bible will be required reading before you can access badassmofo.com. We're gonna have a Bible trivia section, and everyone is gonna have their screen names changed to Biblical names. Sharkey's new name will be "Cain" and Mabs' new name will be "Pilate". I'm changing mine to "I AM".

Oh, the story. Here goes:

Wister (OK) - A boy who says his teacher made him use his hands to remove feces from a clogged toilet is suing school officials for more then $1 million.

The boy, who is legally blind and has learning disabilities and a speech impediment, left his special education math class Jan 10. to use the restroom, accorinding to the lawsuit. After he had returned to class another boy told the teacher, Robertson, that one of the toilets was clogged.

According to the suit, Robertson told Ricky Harris to get a trash can and clean out the toilet. Despite the boy's request for the teacher to call the janitor instead, Robertson ordered him to clean out the clogged drain.

The boy returned to the restroom and used his hands to remove the obstruction, the document states.

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Windows 2000 virus: Already? -- Sharkey @ 2:14 pm
Well, looks like our favorite virus makers are hard at work again. Looks like theyve got a new virus for Win2K just a week after the software was released. The virus is called W2K.Infis.4608, which only spreads if you're online and logged on as an administrator. The article doesnt say much about the virus, just that its out there and you should be afraid of it. So be afraid kids, be very afraid. But fear not kids, if you buy Norton Antivirus and upgrade it with the new virus definitions next week, you should be good to go! Huzzah, the kingdom is saved.

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hey html gurus. -- Solo @ 2:11 pm
yes, almighty solo needs help. When you are on a secure site, and it shows the lock in the bottom of your browser that you can click on to show the secure certificate information, how can I make a link that will open up that information up from the page itself?

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Political aspirations -- wrongforum @ 1:32 pm
Monkeys are awesome. That being said, I'm glad we don't have to see Mabs get his ass chimp-whipped. He's got enough problems on his hands - namely, me.

After much thought, I have decided to make my journey into a political quest. Upon arrival to the BAMF compound, I am going to dissolve the Badass government. Ultimate power shall be mine. Vive la revolucion! I hope all you Cali boys like being martyrs for the cause, because I ain't gonna put up with ya'lls pansy-ass neo-communist left-wing leanings anymore. New elections will be held, and I want unilateral Prime Minister power. Why? Just because.

I can see how this whole thing is gonna go - the citizenship is gonna split down party lines. On the left, you'll have the "sharkies", which will consist of beach bums, losers still living with their parents, and Loretta, the ill-tempered monkey. On the right, you'll see the "wrongies", which will consist of mild geniuses, doctors, Jesus Christ, and Lou Reed.

Sharkey, take this a dire warning. Your days as Prime Mofo are numbered. Who cares if you actually own the site? And if the vote doesn't go my way, I'll still get Galford to stick a sword in your eye. Your "long arm of the law", or as I call him, "Mabs the Incompetent Cop", is about to start feeling like he's in a "Smokey and the Bandit" movie, so justice is coming. Swiftly.

You may be calling me crazy. Well, I am crazy. Crazy like a goddamn fox.

Well kids, you know what this means. Wrongforum has finally taken up heavy drinking. And I couldnt be more proud. What, you think he's serious about all this? Obviously through the drink hes fogotten that hes a high ranking officer in the MoFo army, as well as our official candidate for the Presidency. And dammit, everyone knows I'm a card carrying Republican. Left-Wing is for sissies. Although his comments about Mabs were pretty funny. And dammit, I'm no beach bum, I dont know any MoFos who still live with their mommies, and Loretta's supposed to be your damn Presidential running mate! S'ok though, Wrong still hasnt built up a tolerance for the drink yet, so he'll be fine. Besides, everybody knows Galford sucked after Samurai Showdown 1.

"Sharkies"?

-- Sharkey

You're not fooling anyone, you tree-hugging California hippy! We all know that you spend all night downloading Phish tunes.

-- wrongforum

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When Thirsty Monkeys Attack! -- Sharkey @ 12:50 pm
Check out this article sent in by former R33T.org staffer Vassago:

NAIROBI, Kenya (AP) - Thirsty monkeys in drought-affected eastern Kenya stoned to death a herder watering his livestock, a local newspaper reported Thursday. Ali Adam Hussein and other herdsmen had stopped to water their cattle at a pool in the northeastern Wajir district on Saturday when a group of wild monkeys attacked them with stones, the independent daily East African Standard said.

Hussein died from severe head injuries after he was transferred to a dispensary in Ajawa, the newspaper quoted Abdi Gosho, a nurse in the village, as saying.

Attempts to confirm the story were unsuccessful. Police in Wajir, contacted by telephone from the Kenyan capital Nairobi, had no information about the alleged incident.

The report did not specify what kind of monkey carried out the purported attack. Baboons have been known to throw objects at rivals.

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Tonya Harding at it again -- Sharkey @ 9:27 am
Can someone just dope her up or something, this chick needs to chill for a little while. Now, I'll tell you that its a sad day when a man will let something like this become a news story. Tonya Harding was arrested after allegedly punching and flinging a metal hubcap at her boyfriend. According to the report, this jackhole just stood there and held this bitch's arms. WTF? Now I dont advocate hitting women, but if its gonna turn into a news story where you end up lookin' like the worlds biggest puss, at least walk away. Dont stand there and get your ass beat by some blonde midget figure skater. Thats just sad.

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Breather -- wrongforum @ 12:27 am
West. As the crow flies.

That's what the little voice said in my head when I set out on my trip to California. Luckily, I told that little voice to shut the fuck up, because, dude, I'm on a motorcycle... I'm staying on the road.

Anyway, I'm staying the night at two guys' house. They seem pretty cool, but they're always looking so mad. Ah well, the tribulations of being a badass. At least they have nice beverages :)

Oh, and Sharkey, I've changed my mind. You can have Geiger - I have a problem with psycho Germans. Du hast! Instead, I'm choosing my All-American™ boy Galford. That little fucker has a badass hound of hell at his side, and I'm not one to argue with hounds of hell. At least, not on a weekday. I have a feeling Sharkey is gonna be saying, "NO! Bad dog! BAAAAD DOG!" a lot.

Neil Young's "Keep on Rocking in the Free World" is on the radio. I turn it up, drop my bike into overdrive, and flip off a cop at a speedtrap. Cali, here I come!

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Job Openings -- Sharkey @ 8:51 pm
Well, its time to hire staffers yet again. Just like last time, we're going to have all applicants send in their articles to Mr. Mabs, who's taking time out of his busy manhunt schedule to filter these bad mothas. Now, don't get all jumpy and submit right now, you gots to follow the guidlines and whatnot. Here's what you've gotta do:

Write us up a one-two page article on your most badass experience. Now this isn't just based on the experience, but on your skeelz as a writer. Not just any kind of writer mind you, but a badass one. Different thing, as I'm sure you know, as an English major. So get to crackin', and make sure your stories are true kids, nobody likes a liar. Now be sure and include your name, e-mail addy, etc., and also what position you're applying for. Remember, we need people for the Rants and Gaming sections as well, so if you've worked on another site or especially a gaming site, throw in references to what you've done. Get to steppin', Mabs wont be taking any apps after Friday.

BTW, thanks to everyone who offered me a copy of the Sims, after a few tries (and somehow angering my computer enough to reboot itself a few times) I got the game. Now to waste all my free time on it when I get home.. Oh, and SEND IN THOSE ARTICLES!!!

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Slice of the Day -- Sharkey @ 8:07 pm
Oh, its hard to talk about today's slice without sounding like a pedophile, so lets just skip the chit-chat and get to the goods. Today's SotD is Lee Lee Sobieski:

Image 1 :: Image 2 :: Image 3 :: Image 4

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The Fugitive III: Wrongforum's Exodus -- Sharkey @ 8:01 pm
Well, everyone's been asking why I've been so quiet today about Wrongforum's escape from MoFo prison today. Well, I haven't been quiet, I've been busy. Frankly I'm surprised Wrong didn't break out sooner, seeing as how I left the key in the door since the day we locked him up. But hey, if the guy wants to tunnel his way out with chopsticks thats fine by this MoFo.

Anyway, Mabs was on prison watch last night, and his lazy ass was too busy watching reruns of Dukes of Hazzard to get up and catch him, so I decided to hire the eTrade monkey as the new MoFo Marshall. Upon hearing this, Mabs nearly crapped himself and declared that he was going on a manhunt. So I gave him the benefit of the doubt, and he's off to catch ol' Wrongforum. In the meantime, I'm brushing up on my Samurai Showdown skeelz. Since Wrong already called my man Geiger (bastard), I'll be forced to switch to another character. Don't worry though, as leader of this here dojo, I never back down to a challenge and never fail to whomp ass.

Either Mabs brings him in, or he comes to me. Either way, this situation will end with an ass stompin'. Bring it on.

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A tad unneccesary there, Ponch -- Sharkey @ 6:59 pm
Parish County sheriff's deputy Bryan McClendon cited a man for running a red light while he was rushing his father to the hospital for treatment for a heart attack. The officer delayed the family by a half-hour, which could have meant death for the old guy. Sheriff Harry Lee said he has transferred the deputy from road duty to the correctional center, saying McClendon "probably used poor judgment in the situation."

No shit.

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Flaming cards of death! Well, not flaming... -- Sharkey @ 4:17 pm
Anybody ever catch that MTV Unfiltered show? Anyone see the one where kids were using playing cards as weapons? Damn skippy, I can do that shit pretty good. Thump somebody good with one in the chest, they never expect it. Just watch out, like your mother said, you could put someone's eye out. Little Billy always ignored that when he was a kid, now we call him "Patch". Poor cycloptic bastard...

Stolen by ninja monkey hordes from: Memepool

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Who wants to divorce a millionaire? -- Sharkey @ 2:21 pm
Darva Conger, that's who. She confessed today on Good Morning America that she wanted to have the marriage annulled. Good for her, maybe the annullment will win back her SOUL. I mean, she's going on and on through this show about how she only wanted a vacation, she never thought she'd be picked, bla bla bla. Sure, she finds out that her new meal ticket is a non-millionaire asshole, and suddenly she's not interested in money anymore.

And this Rick Rockwell guy, what a choad. Who changes their name to Rick Rockwell. Kevin & Bean said it sounds like a character from The Flinstones. That and the beating thing. WTF, like nobody's going to find out about this? The guy said he thought after 7 years it all washes away with the statute of limitations. No pal, they can't prosecute after 7 years. Your life can be turned into a craphole at any given time.

Just give me a bat and a license to kill, like Bond. I'll make the worlds problems go away. And the French, too. :)

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SI Swimsuit Issue -- Solo @ 12:15 pm
schlyer posted the cover of the new swimsuit issue.

And today my bosses wife brought it in for us. Did you catch what it said on the cover? "3D" baby. Remember going to movie theaters and getting those goofy glasses to wear? welp, they come with a free pair in this issue. there are several pages of pics plus adds, and even an article all in 3d. it's pretty damn schmick. but don't worry, those of you that are worrying about your ability to masturbate to it while having to wear those awkward glasses will be happy to know, a majority of the images are not in 3d.

hrrrmmm. i wonder if i can find a pr0n DVD in 3D? see some chicks titties at multiple views swinging back and forth right infront of your face... haha. "in and out" would be taken to a new extreme. yeah baby.

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On the run -- wrongforum @ 10:17 am
Since I'm now a wanted man, on the run from the long arm of the law, I've done my best to keep committing crimes as often as possible. The evil thing I did today was download the fully loaded Macster PR3, and proceeded to download mp3's unhindered (before this release, a lot of the features were unimplemented). Like Napster, it does that mp3 piracy thang really well. And it's a helluva lot more intuitive than Napster is, too. Download it here (Mac only).

The second crime I did was, well, uh, posting a download to a mac product on the main page of BadassMoFo. I obviously have no regard for the law of the land >:)

I don't know if this is illegal, but it sure seems like it should be. I went to the used CD store yesterday and picked up 3 rare discs, all for US$15. And my new Squarepusher album should come in the mail today... the wonders of cdnow in action. Obviously, this much good music is illegal, somewhere.

It isn't legal for this guy to have such a good music site, either. Pizan, my friend who ran connect.to/rocknews has moved off of free server hell onto the Markside network. The new place is called (duh) Rock News. Go check it out - it is really cool. Lots of music news and content. It's the way a music site should be done.

On top of all this evil, I skipped two classes today! Bwahahahaha! If this keeps up, Satan will be bowing down to me and offering me a backrub. Like I'd fall for that one, Satan. Evil and backrubs do not mix!

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Cali or bust! -- wrongforum @ 12:06 am

Let's do this like Brutus!

No mister nice mofo. I busted out of jail last night, and the world is gonna PAY. Trials are for pansy-ass monkey mofos. Jailbreaks are for getting stuck in a car trunk with Jennifer Lopez :)

Since I'm a wanted man now, I might as well blow some shit up. That's right - I'm hitching a ride to Irvine, CA, and I'm gonna duke this matter out with Sharkey the way only real mofos can. It's an all night Samarai Shodown II arcade matchup. Nobody can lay a hand on my Geiger's shotgun arm blast.

You're all in for hurt. A world of hurt.

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Slice of the Day -- Sharkey @ 10:49 pm
Boy do I love that Neve Campbell. She was one of the only good bits in that Scream 3 crap ('cept Jay and Silent Bob, natch). Anyway, I felt it was sort of a Neve kinda day, so I made her your SotD.

Image 1 :: Image 2 :: Image 3 :: Image 4

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McSorley suspended for slash to the head -- Sharkey @ 6:46 pm
We normally don't cover sports news here, because quite frankly you should be reading ESPN for that. But, this is something that all you MoFo's should have a look at. Boston Bruins' Marty McSorley was suspended indefinitely for a bloody slash to Vancouver's Donald Brashear that left him unconscious, bloody, and twitching on the ice. Brashear and McSorely tussled within two minutes of the game, (Brashear pretty much won), and McSorely tried to step up again a few minutes later, but Brashear let it go. Then with a couple seconds left in the game, McSorely slashed Brashear in the head with his stick. If you didn't catch it on TV or on SportsCenter, you can download the slash and the ensuing fight right here. Pretty sick shit, McSorley went off. Brashear has a concussion, and should be out in 2-3 weeks.

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JFK Jr. for President? -- Sharkey @ 6:26 pm
NO, not that dead Kennedy. Jello Biafra, former lead singer for the Dead Kennedys, was nominated for the Green Party Presidential Primary in New York State. Apparently this wont be the first time Biafra has run for office, and he's no stranger to the judicial system. Lets have a look at this guys campaign platform:

-- Enactment of a maximum wage.
-- Withdrawal of the US from NAFTA and the World Trade Organization, ideally forcing the latter's dissolution.
-- A moratorium (or at least the forced labeling) of irradiated and genetically engineered "frankenfood".
-- End the "War on Drugs", disband the DEA, and commute the prison sentences of all small time drug offenders to "time served".
-- Abolish the military and CIA, and destroy all nuclear weapons.
-- Citizen election of police officers.
-- Shift the United States Government to Parliamentary rule, with proportional representation, and a sixty day limit on election campaigns.
-- "None of the Above" option on all ballots, whereby a majority of dissatisfied voters can force a new election.
-- Allow individual taxpayers to determine exactly where the government directs their money.
-- Legalize squatting in abandoned buildings.
-- Eradicate all SUV's!!!!!!!!

Bastards.

-- Post Your Comments :: (18 )

Die Doug Die -- Mr Mabs @ 4:40 pm
Just for the record THERE WILL BE NO DOUG..Not now not EVER.

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Thats all folks -- Sharkey @ 3:47 pm
Well, that's it. With the resignations from two posters, I decided to take a little personal inventory in my life and I've come to the realization that I can't do this anymore. For that reason, I've decided to shut down Badassmofo.com.

Gotcha :)

Had you for a second there didn't I? Well, don't worry, this site is my damn hobby, not an obligation. I love doing it more than I ever have, so dont worry about me going anywhere. I'm just getting done with the damn redesign, we got the new comments thing happening, we'll be putting up the first episode of "On the Prowl" this week, etc. Too much good stuff is planned for this 'lil shanty, no way I'm slowing the train down now.

Unfortunately, two of our posters are now gone. That's two less lieutenants in the Badass Army. (Three actually, since Schmerz appears to be dead). This isn't the first time, and it probably won't be the last time. Although this is the first time we lost posters that you guys actually seemed to like. (read: doug and Saigon John). I know we'll all miss them, but we've got to move on. Its the MoFo way. So later on tonight, I will call a meeting of the Triad, and we will discuss the next BadassMoFo job openings. BTW, dont ask if you can write for us, about twenty people have asked today already. We'll probably be asking for articles, printed work, etc. I'll let everyone know tonight what the score is, got me?

Adios Spooky and Nick, the MoFo army will miss you. Schmerz too, I guess. :)

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Resignation -- Nick @ 2:48 pm
I learned two things on my trip to Texas- First, I need to study more. Second, I need to party more. This means, unfortunatelly, that I've got to clear out a lot of time in my schedule. I rarely post here to BAMF, but I feel obliged to read this page (and other EN sites) daily since I am part of the scene. Hopefully with my resignation as a poster I can focus more on my priorities- getting good grades and scoring more pie. Thanks Sharkey for letting me be a part of this great site.

No worries man, it was great having you and Spooky here. Best of luck with getting the pie. -- Sharkey

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A little boy... and his goatunit? -- wrongforum @ 12:33 pm
A guy named goatunit recently sent me an e-mail about a website he's working on called Fatter than God. The dialogue, at best, was idiosyncratic, which means I loved it. And hey, they hang out with the 5unruly gang, so they can't be all that bad. Oh wait, they can.

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Stan Lee Bio -- Sharkey @ 12:15 pm
Here's a book I'll be buying. Check it out:

While his role in creating the Marvel Universe has been called into question by some comic critics and lauded by others, Stan Lee will finally get to tell his side of the story in Stan Lee: Master of Imagination, a biography of the 60-year and still going comic book veteran.

Lee will be teaming with George Mair, who has previously written biographies of the Judds, Barry Diller, Oprah Winfrey and other celebrities. The book will be published by Fireside/Simon & Schuster in the spring of 2001.

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It's so hard to say it. -- wrongforum @ 12:42 am
Farewell Spooky. I think I speak for all of us here at the BAMF compound. You kept it real, and we'll miss you around these parts. Remember your peeps!

This is base station BAMF to Spooky 1. Signing off. Have a good time on the other side, amigo.

Well, this is a surprise. Spook didn't even tell me that he was thinking of leaving. Spooky, I just want to let you know that you'll be missed around here. You're one of the finest posters I've hired here, and we're all sorry to see you go.

*Pours a forty on the grave*

Peace out mah brotha. -- Sharkey

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Slice of the Day -- Sharkey @ 4:11 pm
Feels good to get back into the weekdays, but without the work. And in celebration of my enjoying The Whole Nine Yards so much, I decided to make the lovely Natasha Henstridge your Slice of the Day.

Image 1 :: Image 2 :: Image 3 :: Image 4

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stuff for BAMFPs. -- Solo @ 2:06 pm
even tho some idiots have complained when i post things about that programmers would enjoy.....

i am going to post it anyway, cause i am a BadAssMoFoProgrammer :P

and all real bad asses would like this.

Borland releases C++ 5.5 for FREE
press release here

Someone email me when this happens. I definately want to check out BeOS cause it was written originally for mulitmedia/video production and is supposed to handle 10 gigabyte+ sized files without a sweat. Windows causes enough problems with my .1 gig photoshop files.

And i have heard nothing but good things from average people that installed win2k. post your comments about win2k if you have experienced it yet. I am waiting for service pack 1.

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Who wants to marry a wife-beater? -- Sharkey @ 2:02 pm
Anyone wonder why they didn't repeat that "Who wants to marry a millionaire?" show? Did someone at Fox claim their soul back from the fiery pits of Hell? Heh, no no no, you ask the impossible, friend. No, Fox didn't re-air it because the show is one of the most embarrasing launches in the network's history. Turns out that the Smoking Gun pulled up some pretty heinous dirt on our Millionaire groom. Check this shit:

Nine years before supposed "multimillionaire" Rick Rockwell became famous for marrying a stranger on national television, a California judge issued a restraining order barring him from going near an ex-fiancee who told the court that her "repeated attempts to break off an engagement" led Rockwell to assault her and threaten that "he would find me and kill me," The Smoking Gun has learned.

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Pants that don't fit, or high-school gym shorts? -- Sharkey @ 12:21 pm
Its really raining outside right now. I like the rain, personally. What I don't like, however, is the enormous pile of laundry that sits unattended in my room. Can't do too much about it, since its raining so hard outside (damn apartment life), and I'm pretty much out of clothes right now. Solution? Buy more clothes. Hey, I'm a guy, what kind of solution didja expect?

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Brief History of Photoshop -- Sharkey @ 11:33 am
Wow, its been ten years since Adobe first shipped Photoshop 1.0, I was still in elementary school back then. If you're a Photoshop user, check out this article on the history of Photoshop. The icons were pretty funny in the original app. I love how the Photoshop icon was a little 1 Hour photo joint. It even discusses all the Easter Eggs throughout Photoshop's history.

Stolen by Black-Ops chimps from: Camworld

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Panoramic LithTech 2 -- Sharkey @ 11:20 am
Wow, check out this Panoramic view of the upcoming LithTech 2 engine that Adrenaline Vault posted. Pretty slick-lookin' stuff. Is anyone out there going to the GDC next month? I'm still not sure if I'm gonna go, but I really want to.(mmmm...X-Box...) I'm already salivating about all the cool shit they're going to be showing there. Damn 500 mile drive, why must you be so enticing!?!?

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Schlyer... pay attention -- Solo @ 7:10 am
since you are into politics and code.

http://home.hiwaay.net/~crispen/Bob/candidates.html

If i voted, this would prolly be a large basis for my decision. haha.

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:) -- Solo @ 5:23 am
http://www.userfriendly.org/cartoons/archives/00feb/20000219.html

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More CPU price drops **Updated** -- Sharkey @ 3:44 am
This time, its Intel who's announcing their price drops. The Register is reporting on the price rates through June on the PIII and Celeron chips. In unison with AMD's price drops and releases at the end of this month (the 27th, in this case), the price cuts couldnt come at a better time for this MoFo, RAM is cheap as well, and I'm a-buyin' (sweet Athlon action). The 866MHz PIII will be released on the 27th, and the 933Mhz PIII on the 28th of May (expect price drops again). Sweet deal for us, this chipset war will only be beneficial for a small window of time, and I expect to use that opportunity. I suggest those of you with a little spare green do the same.

**Update** Just as I figured, the Register posted another article detailing how AMD will slam Intel on pricing. On the 28th, AMD will lower prices across the board, undercutting Intel by a fairly large amount. Check it:

The Athlon 550 is now terminated. The 600MHz will cost $190, the 650MHz $226, the 700MHz $270, the 750MHz $350, the 800MHz $530 and the top of the range model, the 850MHz Athlon, will cost $750 from next Monday.

From:Trigger
To:Sharkey
In regards to your post:

I found this article: http://www.theregister.co.uk/000221-000007.html with this amusing paragraph:

"Intel currently produces its chip dies on eight inch (200mm) wafer, and will do so through 2001. But, in 2002, it aims to move to twelve inch (300mm) wafers, initially in Oregon. This latter method helps reduce cost but the move to both copper interconnect technology and to 12-inchers, poses formidable challenges for the corporation. Albert Yu, a senior VP at Intel, proudly waved a 12-incher at the assembled masses last week as proof that the corporation was serious about the move. "

Wow, proudly waving a 12 incher at the crowd. Go Intel, Go! Out of context quotes couldn't be better.

See ya

Trigger

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Ahh, days off kick ass -- Sharkey @ 3:33 am
Who doesnt love days off from work? I sure do, and hopefully Mox got back tonight so's we can edit up some OTP shit. Awwww yeah baby. Maybe I'll finally get the staff list revised later, and I'll put the links up for the Old Skool MoFo stories in the articles section. Oh, BTW, Spooky has apparently gone missing and nobody told me. Is he dead or something? HAS ANYONE SEEN THIS MAN?

Got to buy it, Chinpo-ko-MON!

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Random Thought of the Day. -- Captain Terror @ 12:42 am
So today I'm watching the Cartoon Network (like I do everyday) and I see this commercial for Reeses Puffs. Anyway, I'm checkin out the girl who is the waitress in the commercial and thinkin, "Damn, she's pretty hot. I'd do her". And that is the Random Thought of the Day.

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Old Skool Mofo -- wrongforum @ 12:37 am
Here is a lovely story from the beautiful, carefree days of my youth. Or something to that effect...

The year: 1991.
The place: the main strip in Murray, Kentucky.
The time: dusk, on a Friday night.
Guilty parties: Chris, the cowardly half-mexican boy; Jeff, my redneck cousin whom I was visiting; and yours truly.

I was visiting my cousin Jeff during the summer before my eighth grade year. We all considered ourselves hardasses, fit for life on the dirty streets of Murray. We also fancied ourselves as chick magnets, a la rico suave. Jeff thought it would be a good idea to clean up, dress up, and head down to the local italian restuarant, which resides downtown in Murray. Thinking we could score a couple of hot freshmen gals, we quickly replied "hellyeah" and commenced to comb our hair just so. I actually tucked in my shirt, so you know the quest was a serious one.

We hit off for the restuarant on foot, because we were too young to drive and too cool to have his parents drop us off. Chris decided to go home and change, and meet us there. No prob. So we head for the eats, which was about 10 minutes away. Jeff and I were getting psyched up on the way there for the fine girlies that we were about to hit on. We get to the restuarant to find Chris already there. That bitch had biked over there. I was pissed, because we were gonna hit the boulevard on foot after the meal, and now we were gonna be stuck with Chris pushing around a dumbass bike behind us, hurting our rep. Bah. We stepped in to eat.

First off, the food sucked. What can you expect? To find real Italians in Murray, KY? Second off, there was one fly honey in the whole place, and she was sitting in the back with another guy. She was way too old - probably a senior anyway. Out of our league. Needless to say, the restuarant gig was a bust. I paid the waiter, and we ambled out onto the sidewalk.

So I'm thinking to myself, "dammit. half the night wasted. We gotta make up for this somehow." During this time Chris rode his bike around and around us on the sidewalk, making me profusely angry. He actually exceeded his annoyance level by 500%. While this is going through my head, I suddenly hear somebody yelling at me and my friends. I couldn't tell what they said, but I'm sure it was extremely profane. I looked over, and it was a bunch of hillbilly boys in a gold Camaro t-top yelling and hanging out their windows, looking extremely drunk.

Okay, it's time to tell you a little about Jeff. Jeff was a redneck. But not a plain, country music listening redneck, but a hardass redneck - a redneck who listened to Master of Puppets and hunted elk in Montana. Add all that together, and you've got a guy with a tremendous ego problem.

So you can imagine what happens next... Jeff give the gold camaro whores the bird. This bird was no ordinary bird - it had the weight of circumstance on it. It had a Friday night and a car full of crazy drunks hanging on it. It was a bird of destiny.

Just so you know, Murray has a pretty busy strip on Fridays. The speed limit is 30, but the traffic was pretty brutal - everyone was cruising around that night. But the next sound we heard from the gold t-top was the screeching of brakes, and, to our horror, the fuckers doing a damn u-turn in the middle of the traffic. They were coming for us.

Jeff said "oh shit." We proceded to run like jackrabbits. It was just after dark.

We run up the hill and turned left onto a side street, hoping to lose them at the intersection traffic. I didn't know the area, so I was just following Jeff's lead, the whole time cussing at him for his utter stupidity. We cornered another left and ducked behind a business. Being off the main strip now, we ran from the back of one busines to another, jumping walls and scaling obstacles of all shapes. Chris would beat us everywhere becasue of his bike, but always ended up having trouble getting his bike over the walls. Heh. I let him suffer.

We ended our run when we came out behind a tractor rental place. It was about 5 minutes since the whole incident had occurred. We had gotten about a quarter mile away from the restuarant and I proclaimed that we had gotten away.

No sooner had I said that did I turn around and see a pair of headlights peek around the corner of the building. Jeff said "oh shit" again. it was that fucking gold t-top. We were trapped - a fence blocked off a spit of woods that ran behind the store. We ran. We ran and hoped God would save us from our imminent doom. Apparently he heard us. Just as the t-top squeeled out in pursuit of us, a huge drainage duct just came out of nowhere - and it ran underneath the store to the other side! Jeff and I booked for the tunnel, not knowing whether there were snakes or snapping turtles in that black tunnel. I swear, I've never seen anything like it. It just appeared out of nowhere. It's just plain weird.

We made it to the tunnel and dive in. We both had to slouch and run, just barely missing every bolt and nail that wanted to take our heads off. Suddenly, I popped out the other end of the pipe, and was in a creek. It was definitely an odd site to have a creek running through, but we took what we got. Both me and Jeff stooped on the side of the creek and picked up huge rocks to bash brains out if it became neccessary. And we waited.

Nobody else came through the tunnel. Then we realized that we had left Chris with his bike, and the bike was too big to pull through the tunnel. Like I cared - he was now a martyr for the cause. Then we hear him yelling, "AAAHHHHH! Leave me alone! It was Jeff! It was Jefffffff...!" It was hilarious. It took everything in my power not to laugh. A minute later, we both see Chris jetting on his bike accross a little bridge that went over the creek about 50 feet downstream. Soon after, we heard the car drive away. Not wanting to make the same mistake twice, we stayed in place for another five minutes and discussed what we were going to do. We both agreed that Chris was okay, so we shouldn't concern ourselves with him. It was decided that we would head for home, but never in the open - we would hide in the bushes of every house before we got to his.

So we spent the next hour slowly and deliberately making our way back to his house. Luckily, we never saw the gold t-top again. When we got home, Jeff called Chris to see what was up, and to chew him out for kinda ratting on him (like those guys would ever know who Jeff was). All in all, we declared it a success. We had outsmarted the jerks in the car and made it home with nary a scratch. But I did cuss Jeff for flipping those guys off without telling us first. Then we could have been synchronized in our birding :)

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Open cable lines: DENIED -- Sharkey @ 2:13 pm
Well, the FCC has denied the petition to have "leased access" over existing cable lines for ISPs. Originally the petition called for open access to the lines, but after being denied by the FCC, they attempted to reach the same goal by utilizing the "leased access" laws currently in place. Dig:

The leased access law is intended to provide for a variety a TV programming, because many of the large cable operators also own much of the programming. Leasing allows for independent programmers to deliver their TV shows. But the law applies only to video services.

"There's open access, there's leased access and now there will be no access," Internet Ventures president Don Janke said in a statement. "The FCC's regulation today will deprive thousands of ISPs and their subscribers of the benefits of the broadband revolution."

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My Excuse -- Nick @ 8:41 am
Alright, I've got an excuse for not posting- I'm in Dallas, Texas visiting some old friends from middle school on this long weekend. I brought my new digital camera with me, so once I return I'll post some photos of the nice pie that I have met. And they thought I was joking when I said, "This'll be on the Internet tomorrow!" Look, let me tell you one thing- CHICKS DIG DIGITAL CAMERAS. If you have one with the LCD screen where they can see their pictures, it's money in the sack baby.

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Lazy sons of bitches -- Sharkey @ 2:16 am
Who gave the staff permission to go and get lives, huh? Not one damn post yesterday!?!? Not in Rants, or Gaming. Only post made yesterday was my review of The Whole Nine Yards. Well, I wont let that happen again. Its probably been around half a year since that happened, if not more.

Well, kids, where were you yesterday?

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On the Prowl -- wrongforum @ 9:52 pm
Man, I'm totally stoked about On the Prowl. I wish it was up. I wish I wish I wish. It's driving my mind crazy. It may just crawl outta my head and pimpslap me.

Mofos of the world, unite! Post your encouraging statements in the comments for Sharkey and Bolt Boy to see!

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Hollywood secedes from LA -- Sharkey @ 5:30 pm
Well, its trying to anyway. The citizens of Hollywood want to secede from Los Angeles, and form its own city government. This is, of course, because LA is a shithole for the most part, (not all, but most) and the glamor and glitz of Hollywood has been replaced by T-shirt shops and those places where you get a fake photo with a celebrity. Check this experpt from the article:

Now the residents who want to revive the glamor and glitz of Tinseltown's glory days have launched a petition drive to do just that. This week, they kicked off their campaign to secede from sprawling Los Angeles and incorporate as their own city. They are modeling their effort on secession efforts already under way in the city's San Fernando Valley and San Pedro areas.

Separatist leaders have six months to gather some 15,000 signatures, representing 25 percent of the registered voters in the area under consideration. By Thursday morning, VOTE President Fares Wehbe said he already had 1,000 signatures.

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Space film to be shot in space? -- Sharkey @ 5:04 pm
Check out this story from StudioBriefing:

The abandoned Russian space station Mir is to become the location for a film being brought to the screen by British producer John Daly (The Terminator, Platoon), the London Times reported today (Friday) from its Moscow bureau. The film, titled The Last Journey is due to be helmed by Russian director Yuri Kara and include an actual Russian cosmonaut, Vladimir Steklov in the leading role. The Times said that Daly also hopes to cast Gary Oldman, Robert De Niro and Catherine Zeta-Jones in the film. It also indicated that the movie is part of an overall deal worth $206 million in which the Mir station is also to be used as "a destination for billionaire tourists."

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DRAM prices falling like rocks -- Sharkey @ 1:17 pm
Check out this Asiabiztech article on spot DRAM prices in Korea. $5!!?!? Damn, looks like its time to buy me some RAM, sweet thang! Check out the prices on 128MB chips over at Pricewatch, now theres no excuses left for me to upgrade this month. Now I just gotta wait for the new Athlon to roll out this month, and I'm good to go.

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Pretty -- wrongforum @ 1:10 pm
I'm not a fan of Christina Aguilera. I mean, she's probably not legal, and even if she is, they shouldn't be dressing her like a 13 year old. I've noticed this disturbing trend in mass media to stir up the inner pediphile in all of us... you must resist the urges. But when it comes down to it, I really like her hair. Her hair is just plain badass - it's all curly and blonde and shit. If I was a girl, I would want that hair. Hell, I want it right now. You guys shoulda seen me whan I had hippie hair - it was all curly and nice, but not nearly as curly and most definitely not as nice as Christina's. Heh. Maybe I should post that pic sometime.

I think I'm gonna grow my hair out again. It's starting to get long, and the back is dangerously close to the mullet zone. But I live in TN, so nobody cares.

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Steven Hughes passes away -- Sharkey @ 12:56 pm
Man, can we lose any more great comic creators lately? Geez, now Steven Hughes is gone. He passed away last night due to an undisclosed illness, and his body was cremated early this morning. Hughes left behind a wife and three children. Hughes was pretty much responsible for bringing Brian Pulido's Lady Death and Evil Ernie comics to life. He was a great artist, and it'll be sad not seeing him at this year's Con.

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The funniest...er, meanest guy on the internet -- wrongforum @ 10:06 am
Okay, I've been putting this off because, well, because I'm lazy. But enough of that.

You guys remember Moment of Clarity? I've plugged ol' Ezis aboout, oh, 456983027 times, so surely you remember at least seeing a link once or twice in the past six months. He has a nasty habit of switching servers and changing his site name, but I digress..

Well, my boy is back, and he's using a new motto - "Less commentary; more evil". And that about sums it up. He goes around AIM and finds unsuspecting sheep to harrass, and then posts the chat logs. I will have to say, Ezis has a good thing going. So visit his site, because I guarantee that it will make you split your wig with laughter.

Heh. Hope that "messes" with your stats, Ezis :)

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Clerks cartoon to air in May -- Sharkey @ 9:36 am
Daily Variety is reporting that the long awaited Clerks cartoon will begin airing on May 31st, on ABC. The show will take up the 9:30 PM time slot. If you didn't catch the teaser before the SuperBowl, you can check it out at the View Askew website.

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Apparently, DDoS isn't the way to go -- wrongforum @ 9:19 am
A 26 year old Virginia man got caught last Sunday trying to drop a DoS attack on the Virginia DMV website from his nice little 56k connection. Within 24 hours, he was in the slammer. Apparently, he was mad because his auto insurance got cancelled the week before, and you can get ticketed in Virginia if you don't have auto insurance. Heh. Now he's up for felony trespassing.

Maybe it's just me, but this guy seems to have tried something that was more suitable for someone that wasn't a complete goddamn idiot. I can see him reading all these headlines about how it may be impossivble to track the guy(s) who pulled the major outage a week ago and thinking to himself "hey, I can't get caught! Time to be naughty." Stick to cherry bombs in the toilet and rolling their building, pal - it's more your speed.

Stolen by BAMF Arctic Commandos from MacAddict.

Yeah, it's a mac mag. Let me go ahead and say SHUT THE FUCK UP about mac shit. I've done my best to back off on the "mac superiority" comments. I can't help it that Macs are God's gift to computing.

-- Post Your Comments :: (9 )

heh -- Solo @ 7:32 am

In a surprise announcement today, Microsoft President Steve Ballmer revealed that the Redmond-based company will allow computer resellers and end-users to customize the appearance of the Blue Screen of Death (BSOD), the screen that displays when the Windows operating system crashes. The move comes as the result of numerous focus groups and customer surveys done by Microsoft. Thousands of Microsoft customers were asked, "What do you spend the most time doing on your computer?" A surprising number of respondents said, "Staring at a Blue Screen of Death." At 54 percent, it was the top answer, beating the second place answer "Downloading XXXScans" by an easy 12 points. "We immediately recognized this as a great opportunity for ourselves, our channel partners, and especially our customers," explained the excited Ballmer to a room full of reporters. Immense video displays were used to show images of the new customizable BSOD screen side-by-side with the older static version. Users can select from a collection of "BSOD Themes," allowing them to instead have a Mauve Screen of Death or even a Paisley Screen of Death. Graphics and multimedia content can now be incorporated into the screen, making the BSOD the perfect conduit for delivering product information and entertainment to Windows users. The BSOD is by far the most recognized feature of the Windows operating system, and as a result, Microsoft has historically insisted on total control over its look and feel. This recent departure from that policy reflects Microsoft's recognition of the Windows desktop itself as the "ultimate information portal." By default, the new BSOD will be configured to show a random selection of Microsoft product information whenever the system crashes. Microsoft channel partners can negotiate with Microsoft for the right to customize the BSOD on systems they ship. Major computer resellers such as Compaq, Gateway, and Dell are already lining up for premier placement on the new and improved BSOD. Ballmer concluded by getting a dig in against the Open Source community. "This just goes to show that Microsoft continues to innovate at a much faster pace than open source. I have yet to see any evidence that Linux even has a BSOD, let alone a customizable one."

-- Post Your Comments :: (12 )

Pro-Panty town -- Sharkey @ 11:45 pm
Now this is my kind of city:

The debate was serious. The vote unanimous. The law, however, seemed a little goofy. It's now legal here to throw panties from Carnival floats. ''So we're pro-panties - it's on the record,'' Gretna City, Louisianna Councilman Vincent Cox joked after the 4-0 vote. ''Panties have been a legitimate throw for Mardi Gras for years,'' he said.

-- Post Your Comments :: (8 )

JOBS IS GOD!! -- Captain Terror @ 7:52 pm
Gates is the anti-christ!! (With bad hair) You'd think the son of satan would at least have good hair.

And you'd think with the new comments system you might actually use it for this sort of thing. Dammit. -- Sharkey

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request -- Solo @ 5:38 pm
now that i have bandwidth out the yazoo, i have nothing to download.

anyone got any good pr0n sites? banana cream pie prefered. if they are public, post in this spiffy new comment script (thanks Sharkey). or if you have a private FTP, please help a mofo out and email me.

-- Post Your Comments :: (16 )

Steve Jobs has gone insane -- Sharkey @ 5:29 pm
Well, that clinches it for me, Jobs and his crew must be plum loco. How the Hell can anyone pay $3499 for a 500MHz machine? (that's not a Xeon or dual proc.) Crimeny Christmas, I could build the same machine as a PC for under a grand. Especially when chip prices fall next week. The whole pricey Mac thing baffles me. I want to know the price breakdown on these machines, where the Hell did the extra couple grand go? They gonna throw a kickass CD burner and a SCSI RAID setup in that bad motha? Or maybe a monitor the size of a big-screen TV? No? Bad marketing department! No cookie!

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All about the interactivity -- Sharkey @ 4:24 pm
Solo reminded me today that I never did get the comments system working around here. I had everything ready to go, but with the whole Y2K upgrade fiasco I never felt confident to try it. Then today, I went in and turned it on. Give it a whirl, see how you like it.

-- Post Your Comments :: (27 )

Badass even in death -- Sharkey @ 2:23 pm
Check out this picture of two side-by-side dead badasses sent in by Juston. He states that he took the picture in "a small Texas hick town called Waxahachie". Thanks for the pic Juston, now I have to come up with an even better tombstone for myself.

click to enlarge

X-Box unveiling at GDC -- Sharkey @ 12:18 pm
According to our Brit pals at the Register, Microsoft is going to unveil the elusive X-Box at this year's Game Developers Conference. Man, this years GDC is shaping up to kick some ass. I'm seriously considering going this year. Anyone else planning a trip to the conference? I'm feelin' the need this year.

For those of you who weren't paying attention -- Sharkey @ 11:21 am
Your pal Killbot put up a link to the X-Men trailer I was talking about yesterday over in the Movies section. What are you waiting for, a formal invitation? Move, move, move!

ooohhhh ahhhh..... -- Solo @ 8:49 am
GO CABLE MODEM!!!

Heh, somebody's happy. -- Sharkey

Random Badassness -- Sharkey @ 12:45 am
Just got back from editing "On the Prowl" with Mox, hopefully we get that shit done soon. Anybody else catch the Daily Show tonight? OMG, Jon Stewart hit right on the money with that "Who wants to marry a millionaire" show. What a fucking joke. They should've called it, "Who wants to marry a wallet?"

I forgot to mention that I saw the X-Men: The Movie teaser trailer yesterday. I still don't know what to make of it. Some of the action looked cool, some of it was crap, but at least Wolverine unsheathing his claws was cool. And I was always one of the biggest advocators of Patrick Stewart as Prof. X (like anyone else looks like him..) but for some reason I just couldnt disassociate him from the Star Trek movies. Damn Trek flicks better not ruin X-Men for me too. Aw, who am I kidding, that movie is gonna blow goats all on its own.

Random -- wrongforum @ 11:29 pm
Lordy, I just saw some PC100 128MB SDRAM for like $80. That's just plain wrong. I paid over that for that 64MB chip a coupla months back. Ahhhhh, the sweet sound of the technology curve pulling away in its Lexus while I drive behind it in a golf cart.

Here are some sites to visit. Some sent me multiple e-mails to plug them, and they were judged on persistence alone : )

Phunstuff - they ganked that ad for the nose cleaner thang, but the site looks pretty nice.

Evil Network - these guys just recently moved, so go see 'em at their new digs.

Mullets Galore - uh, this one needs no explaination.

Chunky style or smooth & creamy? -- Sharkey @ 7:42 pm
Do you think that one day people will use the phrase "Greatest thing since sliced peanut butter"? I didn't think so. But apparently these are the sorts of experimental products that our government so lovingly funds. Makes you wonder what other genius ideas are waiting to be unvieled at the Oklahoma Food and Agricultural Products Research and Technology Center at OSU in Stillwater. Although by the look of that crazy-ass researcher to your right, I don't ever want to go there. I'd rather hear that we were using government funding to teach chimps to smoke cigars than this kind of retardedness.

Stolen by guerilla chimps from: Camworld

Give to Radiskull.... -- Sharkey @ 5:29 pm
Holy Shinola! EPISODE 3 of Radiskull & Devil Doll has been released! SWEEEET! And Joe Sparks (creator, voices, etc) got some sweet new digs to host the most awesome Flash cartoons on the planet. If you haven't been kickin' it with the Radiskull and DD, I suggest you do so NOW.

Willamette: 3GHz? -- Sharkey @ 4:35 pm
According to the Register, Intel's Willamette chip will run at an estimated 3GHz, as opposed to the 1.5GHz which they previously reported.

*wipes drool from face*.... DAMN.

Rex Reed: You got some 'splainin to do... -- Sharkey @ 4:30 pm
Rex Reed explains the whole Tower Records CD theft incident. Personally I had more respect for the guy when I thought he was a ballsy klepto. A bad klepto, mind you, but a ballsy one.

Thanks to Shlonglor for finding it first.

Psychic sues ABC for $900,000 -- Sharkey @ 4:21 pm
A Psychic Network Services worker has sued ABC for over $900,000 after the show "Primetime Live" aired tapes from a hidden camera at the psychic firm. He claims that the network has "ruined his reputation". Check it:

A 1993 lawsuit filed by Sanders claimed an "ABC spy" secretly taped him and his co-workers at the psychic telephone counseling firm with the intent of portraying such services as "a scam and illegitimate."

For the love o' crap -- Sharkey @ 2:37 pm
I've been machineless all friggin' day! In the new office they set me up in, they had to tear the network connections from the floor and run them through the damn walls. Now I've got no network connection until tomorrow, so I have to update back in the old office which is overrun with people right now. And me without my pistol...

Slice of the (birth)Day -- Solo @ 2:25 pm
everyone sing;

Welp, today is Theseus' birthday. Believe it or not, that
loser mofo is only 17. damn... talk about making me feel even older. as a birthday gift, i am giving him his
slice request.

Not only do i have a buttload of pics for everyone, but even a couple sound bits. (multimedia pie?)

Kathy Ireland
(irish pie?)

mmmmmm... Banana Cream Pie Wannabe.

sight, sight, sight, sight, sight, sight, sight, sight, sight, sight, sight, sight, sight, sight, sight, sight, sight, sight, sight, sight, sight, sight

sound, sound

btw sharkey, something i promised you a long time ago is coming as soon as i get my cable modem. stay tuned everyone.

Slice of the Day -- Sharkey @ 11:24 pm
A bit late in the day for your slice, but I'm sure you'll enjoy it nonetheless. I've loved this slice since "Adventures in Babysitting". C'mon, you liked that movie back in the day, admit it. "Mighty Thor, god of thunder" *thump*. ...Alright, maybe a few of you were too young. I'll move on now...

Image 1 :: Image 2 :: Image 3 :: Image 4

Also, regarding yesterdays SotD, Isla Fisher, I received this e-mail just a minute ago.

Dear Sharkey...

You are an idiot. Why you failed to mention the fact that Isla Fisher is Australian is completely beyond me. YOU PUTZ! I want mention of her nationality, because us mugs don't usually get a look in when it comes to the international market. :)

Anyway, I have to go chase a kangaroo down the street. Bloody thing stole my car keys...

Dylbert
Big Hairy Balls
http://bhb.bwoy.org.au

Not in the know -- wrongforum @ 5:52 pm
Hey, why didn't anybody tell me that Bunkford was back up? Note to self: I am apparently out of the loop.

To the Bunkford guys: I do care dammit, never underestimate the power of NyQuil coupled with laziness. -- Sharkey

DoubleSuck -- Sharkey @ 5:22 pm
Boy, some people really hate DoubleClick. Maybe I'll sign up for their advertising program just to piss everyone off. HA HA, eat that cookie bitch, and like it! Or maybe not. You know, thousands of adverting execs around the world are begging DoubleClick to stand firm on this whole thing, then maybe they'll get to do it as well. Chumps, DoubleClick will get its virtual ass kicked for tromping around on the privacy issue.

Intel demos 1.5GHz Willamette -- Sharkey @ 2:06 pm
Ooh, me me me! I want I want I want!

Clinton loves the Pr0n -- Sharkey @ 2:01 pm
Heh, apparently President Clinton's live web-interview went a little awry yesterday due to hecklers and an impersonator. The impersonator, who goes by the name Wankel, broke through CNN's chat filters and logged on with the President's name. Now what would you do in a chat room masquerading as the Prez? Same thing Wankel did, I'd bet. After logging in, he posted these two messages as Clinton:

Personally, i would like to see more porn on the Internet.
Wolf, how about you? Are you all for more porn on the Internet?

Feminist Lifeguards -- Solo @ 1:08 pm
Been a while since i told a feminazi joke... i figure you're due for one...

I recently went to the beach where all the lifeguards were feminists.

As soon as I got out a bit from shore, I was hit with a terrible cramp in my leg and I couldn't swim. I called out to the lifeguards, "Help, I am drowning!" The first lifeguard said to the other, "Women are at a disadvantage in virtually every situation, so if you have a man and a woman who are both drowning, the women is the one hardest hit." The other feminist lifeguard nodded, and they discussed this a bit.

I struggled back up to the surface, spitting out salt water, and cried out, "I am going to die!"

The second lifeguard said to the first, "Everyone is going to die sooner or later, but the real crisis is in women's health care." The first lifeguard nodded and cited a few studies that proved this was just so.

Then I knew I was about to go under for the dreaded third time. With my last breath I called out, "Ladies, I going down!"

So they jumped in, hauled me out, and sued me for sexual harassment.

Can you go toe 2 toe with puffy daddy? -- Solo @ 12:51 pm
http://www.newgrounds.com/assassin/puffy/

Newgrounds is at it again. yeah, i spend too much time on GX. go put the beat down on that nigga.

eeeewwweeee... -- Solo @ 6:26 am

In case you were wondering who my Valentine is... It's Solo's mom. We're gettin our freak on tonight.
-Theseus

Slice of the Day -- Sharkey @ 9:16 pm
Oooh, today's slice is a bit less known than our usual bits of goodness, but she's sweet nonetheless. Here's Isla Fisher:

Image 1 :: Image 2 :: Image 3 :: Image 4

Beaver Patrol -- Nick @ 8:11 pm
Last Thursday night I made some t-shirts for me (left) and two friends to wear to school. What better way to solicit prom dates than three fly guys walking down the hall with these on?

Thanks go out to Canon iron on printable transfers, Wal-Mart iron on letters, and Hanes 38-40 whites.

Film Critic arrested for shoplifting -- Sharkey @ 2:14 pm
Old people can make my day occasionally, check this out:

Movie critic Rex Reed was arrested on Saturday after he was caught by store security allegedly removing three compact discs from a midtown Manhattan record store, police said. The 61-year-old critic, who was charged with criminal possession of stolen property, was spotted by store detectives at 4:45 p.m. at Tower Records on Broadway allegedly taking the three CDs, police said.

Authorities said they found him carrying CDs of Mel Torme, Peggy Lee and Carmen McRae. Reed was expected to appear in court in March, police said.

damn... -- Solo @ 12:38 pm
Jodie turns down the role to the sequel of Silence of the Lambs. i love that movie, and i love jodie. phooey!

if you have never read the sequel, the ending is pretty good (highlight to read) [Agent Stirling (jodie) and Dr. Hannibal Lecter end the movie by Dining on a bad FBI agents brains... ummm....]

AMD to slash prices -- Sharkey @ 11:20 am
Following Intel's lead, AMD is going to slash its Athlon prices on February 28th. The Register quotes these as the new prices as of the 28th:

The 500MHz Athlon will drop to $54, the 533MHz to $70, the 600MHz to $189, the 650MHz to $243, the 700MHz Athlon to $344, the 750MHz Athlon to $474, the 800MHz Athlon to $672 and the newly released 850MHz to…err $850.

da new pad -- Solo @ 6:20 am
welp, moved into my new apartment... I finally got to bring out my 60" TV. yeah baby. i have broadband digital cable. something he may be jealous of, is i have (2) 24 hour golf channel. i have about 6 HBO's, 5 Skin-e-max's, several movie channels, and starz. i also have like 6 all NBA stations. playboy, spice, etc.... ZDtv too. most importantly i get a cable modem this week. :) 42 gigs won't cut it anymore :(

no more moving for me for at least 12 months. thank god. my body is in extreme pain... i am getting too old :(

The End -- wrongforum @ 11:36 am
Charles Schulz died in his sleep last night after a long bout with colon cancer. He passed on the eve of the last printed Peanuts strip.

I'll have to say that the emotion that I'm feeling right now is not what I expected. I've never been a huge fan of Snoopy. But then I remember that little emaciated Christmas tree from "A Charlie Brown Christmas", and think back to how much that one cartoon made me think when I was a kid.

Thanks for the memories, Chuck. See you on the other side.

Allow me to clear my throat... -- Bolt Boy @ 2:39 am
Hey folks! I just wanted to let you monkeys know that right after the Badassmofo birthday, comes mine! That is right. Its my B-day today. So go out, right now, and get me a present. No, you say! Assholes. Fine, then at least check out "On the Prowl" I've updated it with are Vegas mishaps and some cool pics. Since it is my birthday though, you monkeys can send me stuff. I'm an e-mail whore.

A little scared -- wrongforum @ 1:26 pm
The first time I tried to log into the news script this morning, it said I didn't have access priviledges. The first thought that came to my mind was "shit, Sharkey did fire me." Luckily, I just typed the password wrong, so I'm good to go :)

It was news to me that Richard Ashcroft, lead singer of the Verve, had left the band. He is so awesome - anybody that will do a song with UNKLE has to be cool. Luckily, he's got a new solo album coming out in June that sounds a lot like the Verve (I'm assuming that he wrote the music for the Verve - correct me if I'm wrong). The article is here.

You may feel otherwise, but I feel like the Verve's "Urban Hymns" album was one of the best of 1998. "Bittersweet Symphony" is great, but not the best, in my opinion. Fire up napster/macster and pick up their singles for "Lucky Man" and the rocking "The Rolling People". You will not be disappointed. They have such a great sound - it's so layered without being overpowering.

Stolen by gibbons from Bence

Man, what is this, the twentieth time that frankenstien lookalike has quit the band? For those who don't know, the band has been around for a really long time, and they broke up numerous times before Urban Hymns came out. Then they got back together, Ashcroft bitched, break up, make up, break up, you get the picture. -- Sharkey

AOL backs out of open access crusade -- Sharkey @ 12:46 pm
For over a year, AOL led the crusade to create an open access policy among cable Internet providers. AOL stated that if cable companies did not share their lines into homes with rival providers, they would have a monopoly over the high-speed access into most areas. But now that AOL has swallowed up Time Warner, and owns a cable provider of its own, the company is pulling out of the crusade. Big shocker eh? Seems like we're back in third grade:

AOL: "Its not fair! Billy has a snow cone and I dont! He should have to share! *sniffle* He should have to share with the rest of us!"
Mom: "Alright, here's a cone for you, dear."
AOL: "YAY! *sings* I got a snow cone, and you aaiin't got one! I've got a snow cone, and you aaiin't got one!"

Bustin' me some chops! -- wrongforum @ 1:22 am
Hey, Sharkey! Why don't we celebrate the BAMF birthday by actually tying up some loose ends around this dump? Namely, where is that forum you were talking about, oh, 3 months ago? Dammit, the forum has to get done so we can get some Mofo Mailbag on the page! And what about that site redesign you've been talking about for 597143254 months? Well?

*crosses arms, taps foot on the floor*

C'mon, we all wanna know what your excuse is... and no, work is not a valid excuse.

Oh, and farewell, people. Since I'll probably get fired for this post, it's been nice knowing you. Your mothers are all piss-ugly and smell like rancid velveeta.

Happy Birthday BAMF -- Sharkey @ 8:50 pm
Well, the other day Solo and Peaches decided to celebrate the first birthday of Badassmofo.com. Well, today is the first anniversary of the day BAMF opened its doors. Check out the February 99 archives to see just how far we've come since the beginning. Hell, even back then I didn't know what damn day it was (posted date is the 13th, but it was really the 11th). And in honor of this special occasion, I've decided to leave you all with a little bit of wisdom that I've picked up along the way:

"You stay focus. You best karate still inside you, now time let out!"

Alcohol, is there anything it can't do? -- Sharkey @ 6:20 pm
Check this bit o' sweetness sent in by Nettie:

Click to enlarge

Anyway, I think I've really overanalyzed a funny-ass billboard, which leads me to beleive that I've been at work too long. Hey, whaddya know, I'm blowin' out of this gyp joint.

Slice of the Day -- Sharkey @ 2:41 pm
Special thanks to Zen and Wrongforum for the help with today's SotD. I'm sure most of you have heard about Jessica Biel's racy appearance in Gear magazine this month, which she did in an effort to break her contract with Aaron Spelling. Too bad for her it didn't work. Good for us that we get these phenominal pics. Enjoy. (No under 18 on a few of these bad boys)

Image 1 :: Image 2 :: Image 3 :: Image 4 :: Image 5 :: Image 6 :: Image 7 :: Image 8

On the Prowl update -- Sharkey @ 1:31 pm
Do yourself a favor and head over to On the Prowl to catch the latest update from Bolt Boy. He gives a few details on our badass excursion in Vegas and provides a few pictures for your viewing pleasure.

You're not quite evil enough... -- Sharkey @ 12:39 pm
Speaking of evil (wrong's last post), check out So You've Decided to be Evil. Thwart the forces of good!

I wish I was a linux guy sometimes... -- wrongforum @ 12:21 pm
Sigh... I wish I had a lot more funny and weird programs for the mac. Most "enterprising" mac programmers with too much time on their hands make games like "Squirrel Kombat" and "Fubar versus the DEA". But Linux nuts... they get funny shit like text-only versions of Quake. Consider me jealous.

Sent in by the most evil Scot you've ever met.

Mofo mail -- wrongforum @ 11:57 am
Heh. And this is the best kind. This is mail from my mom.

From: My Momma
To:wrongforum@mac.com

Hi Jeff

Good news that you talked to David. stop
Hope he really comes through with the money. stop
E.R. really bothers me...... Carter and Lucy were stabbed....... stop
It was strange. stop

Talk to you soon.

MOM

Athlon 850 released early -- Sharkey @ 11:37 am
A whole whopping three days early (whoopee). AMD decided to forgo the Valentine's Day release of the 850MHz Athlon and release the chip today. Gateway, IBM, and Compaq are already taking orders for machines with the new Athlon inside. Although, it'll take at least a couple of weeks for you to actually get it since most companies are quoting delivery from 20 to 30 days. The chip is going for around $850 retail.

"Ernest" dead at 50 -- Sharkey @ 8:41 pm
Jim Varney, star of the "Ernest" movies and TV show, died of lung cancer at his home in White House, Tenn earlier today. Man, I remember laughing at that guy when I was a kid. And don't say you didn't dammit, that's a bald faced lie. Give the dead man a little respect. Hmmm... I wonder who are the Simpsons going to pick on now?

Stolen by rabid monkeys from: PlanetGimp

BOOOOYAAAAAH! -- Sharkey @ 6:27 pm
Guess who's back my chillen's, its your ol' pal Sharkey. The MoFos and I had a bitchin' time in Sin City. I'd also like to thank Mabs posting our room number while we were away. What a nice surprise to get back from Fatburger and find fans sitting at our doorstep. And thanks to the MoFos who gave us a ring-ding-ding at the Hotel. When Mabs regains conciousness, I'm sure he'll thank you as well. Ahh Vegas... I'll have a full report, stories, pics, and more in just a few, so stick around.

BTW, thanks to Zen for the Jessica Biels pics. Very sweet of you, sir.

hrrmmm... -- Solo @ 5:34 pm
...

ben sent me this...

http://www.ihatecanada.com/

i wonder what tba thinks about it. hell, i bet tba is running this site.

Is it just me? -- Spooky @ 1:51 pm
Or has Peaches been busy ranting and posting pie in the rants?? w0wzerz! Themealicious!

Sony Recants? Say it isn't so... -- Spooky @ 1:21 pm
Well according to this article on the register, Sony now admits the PS2 wont be as backward compatible as they had once claimed it would be. They are citing that some games are not written to Sony's standards and therefor they may work badly or not at all.

Fukunaga was unable to confirm why this should be an issue here, instead claiming that problem software was probably not written to "Sony standards" -- essentially games that bypass Sony's APIs and write directly to the hardware.

Fukunaga couldn't say how many of the 3000-odd PlayStation titles would not run. However, it's worth noting that the PlayStation-on-a-PC software Bleem! will run only around 300 PlayStation titles perfectly. While Bleem! (the company) has yet to test every single PlayStation game, most of the ones the do fail, either by refusing to run at all or with various graphical glitches, do so because they work directly with the game's hardware.

ICQ 2000a Alpha v4.22 Build #3086 -- Solo @ 10:27 am
http://fileforum.efront.com/detail.php3?fid=929851377
even more cluttered than 99. bah. i need a way to remove buttons to all features except my contact list. that's all i ever use.

good: supposed to load a lot faster.

bad: I heard of a lot of problems installing it under win2k. Some people complain it does it does upgrade the db properly, either.

ugly: it's much more cluttered.

so any of you that d/l it and install it, email me the good, the bad, and the ugly from your experience. i will try to post em here for others to use are reference.

Whats in the vial? Part II -- Spooky @ 10:07 am
Last night I was talking to Rachel, who hails from the Milwaukee area, and she gave me the low down on this whole vile vial incident. Apparently there is a very popular morning show there and some guy was obsessed with the people doing the show. He had this theory that water could transmit sound and he was filling up the vials with water and placing them all over town so they could send the radio show signal directly to his head. I am not making this stuff up people.

A decision was expected today from the Milwaukee County district attorney on whether the man would be charged with disorderly conduct.

"At first blush, there appears to be no reason for public alarm," said Police Chief Gary Mikulec of suburban Whitefish Bay, where 12 of the vials were found. "It appears to be water in the vials. ... Hopefully the person will get the help he needs."

The man was picked up Monday evening after someone reported seeing him taping a vial to poles near the district offices of Milwaukee Public Schools.

mmmmmm.. -- Solo @ 9:40 am
it's been a while since we had a good slice of caliente pie. Living in FL has given me a lot of exposure to caliente slices. mmm... mmm... good.

Daisy "one fine chica" Fuentes

clicky clicky clicky clicky

For those so inclined, her official page can be found right hyah.

There Still Sleeping -- Mr Mabs @ 12:26 pm
OK so you need the floor number to call them, I fucked up but hey I can learn. The number once again is 702-730-7777 room #323 floor # 24. Now get to work and make sure they don’t sleep.

Sharkey = fucking pie slacker. -- Solo @ 10:51 am
at least i am not the only one that notices these things;

Lack-of-Pie-itis - 9:48 AM PST - Monday, 2-7-00 - POST ID 202
Man, is it me, or has Sharkey really been slacking on the slices lately. Sure he posted up the Natalie Portman pics, but that's one isolated incident... What happened to the SotD's every day? I'm wastin away here!
-Theseus

anyway, Solo is here to save you. Theseus, this one goes out specifically for you... We all know who you want almost as bad as you want a red dot.

Ladies, gentlemen, idiot stile fans.... may i present....

since no one else seems to be around... -- Solo @ 8:02 am

BadassMoFo is 1 year old today. congrats to all that helped make this possible. I have been a fan since day 1, and still am. Sharkey and i have a mutual respect for each other and out sites.

I think i speak for everyone that posts here in saying; Thank you for your continued support, loyalty, links, and all that other shit.

on a side note, my gaming clan, TheZealots, turned a year old last week... and I turn 22 tomorrow. anyother "birthdays" we should know about?

Sorry? -- Mr Mabs @ 2:00 am
I just came to the realization of how much trouble I am going to get into with that last post. Oh well you only live once, I think. I should probably start packing so I can enter the witness protection program. I have till Thursday night to relocate so I got a few hours of life. It was nice knowing you MoFo’s

702-730-7777 room # 323 -- Mr Mabs @ 1:38 am
So your furious that you are not hanging out with the MOFO crew in Sin City, well don’t be bitter just give them a call and tell them what you think. No not the mofo 800 number, call them in their room and make sure they are getting just as much sleep as you. The number is long distance so try not to talk to long. Oh and Sharkey asked me to invite anyone near Vegas to the MoFo meet and greet at the Monte Carlo Hotel.

Time:6:00pm 2-9-00
Place: lobby of the Monte Carlo

An anonymous tip off.... -- Spooky @ 4:49 pm
The BAMF crew would like to wish their long lost hommie Gary Coleman a happy birthday. Gary hit the big 32 today. Damn he is getting old. Makes me feel like quite the youngster and I'm 25! Have a good one Gary. We love ya man..

Sharkey has left the building -- Sharkey @ 9:09 am
Well, I'm audi 5000 kids. Some of the MoFo's and I are off to Vegas. While we're there, we'll be filming the next episode of "On the Prowl" (don't worry, the first one's on its way) and we'll be drinkin' and gambling all night long. See you on Thursday mah homies...

Jeff Garner: the next Anakin? -- Sharkey @ 8:45 am
The first question you'll have (if you haven't been paying attention, that is) is "Who is Jeff Garner?" Well, according to this Aint It Cool News story, this 25 year old Rep/Stock Broker at Charles Schwab will be Anakin in the next Star Wars flick. Uh...Maybe. Do yourself a favor, read the article and get caught up. In the meantime, here's a pic of the guy who may be Anakin.

C'mon man.. Whats in the vial??? -- Spooky @ 7:58 am
For the past few days viles of a clear odorless liquid have been found attached to utility poles in Milwaukee, West Allis, Shorewood, and Whitefish Bay. I believe the number found is ranging in the 80s. They are saying the liquid is non-toxic but police and investigators are still unsure what the liquid is. -G- big shock there. All of the technology we have at our disposal and we cannot figure out what this liquid is? It is suspected that the same person is responsible for all of the viles but they have no clue who that person might be and think the key to finding that out is figuring out what the liquid is.

“It’s stupid. It’s very ignorant, to be honest with you. I don’t even know what makes a person do something like that. That’s what gets me,” Snyder said. At this point police have no leads on suspects. And this is a difficult case because of the unknown. For example, it’s hard to say what kind of charges would be filed because police have no idea what kind of substance they’re dealing with in the test tubes.

Slice of the Day -- Sharkey @ 10:21 pm
I saw part of that lame Simply Irresistable movie last night, and BA-DAM was Sarah Michelle Gellar lookin' fine. So fine, in fact, that she inspired me to make her your Slice of the Day.

Image 1 :: Image 2 :: Image 3 :: Image 4

Last chance, sweetcheeks -- Sharkey @ 5:47 pm
This is the last opportunity for any of you kids to meet us in Vegas. We're leaving early tomorrow morning, and coming back on Thursday afternoon. If any of ya feel like hangin' with the BAMF crew, bring it on.

Clinton going out with a bang? -- Sharkey @ 4:37 pm
Headline: President Clinton on Monday sent Congress a $1.84 trillion farewell budget that carves up the burgeoning surpluses by showering billions of dollars on new government programs. The budget proposal includes a major expansion of health care while still promising to eliminate the publicly held debt by 2013.

I dunno, sounds like Clinton's trying to find a way to worm out of becoming "The worst President in History". I mean, he may not have been the worst President, but he's damn well gonna be branded that way. Did you see the cartoon version of him on the Simpsons last night?

Marge: That's a pretty lousy lesson.
Clinton: Hey, I'm a pretty lousy President.

No good -- wrongforum @ 2:17 pm
After putting that link up for the X-Men pic, I got this in the mail from my boy Neuromancer629:

To: wrongforum
From: Neuromancer629
Subject: Pink power Ranger now an X-man?

Hey isnt that chick thats supposed to be psylock or jean or whoever (not a big Xman fan) wasnt she was the orginial pink power ranger?

Star Wars: Episode 2 Trailer -- Sharkey @ 1:07 pm
Well, not quite, but pretty damn good for a fan creation. Do yourself a favor and check this bad mamma-jamma.

Big Blue to unveil 4.5GHz CPU -- Sharkey @ 1:03 pm
Whoa, that's some badass overclocking right there. What? Its an actual 4.5GHz chip you say? Well I'll be a bare-assed circus midget's uncle. Apparently IBM has made use of multiple clock technology (they haven't quite explained what kind of multiple clock-tech) to reach this new milestone. They're supposed to be unveiling this spanktastic chip at the International Solid-State Circuits Conference this week.

This could be a slightly bad thing for the industry. WHOA WHOA, put down the damn tomatoes and hear me out, bitches! OK, so the rapid rate that Intel and AMD are forcing out their chips right now is making the CPU market fluxuate rapidly, right? Resellers are going nuts because the damn chips are coming and going so fast they can't get enough supply in to meet the demand. This, in turn, pisses off you and I, and we don't see the need to waste our money on chips that will be outdated in a week. So with that in mind, imagine the rush that will come about due to this new revelation? AMD and Intel rushing out piss-poor-quality chips in order to meet the new benchmark. And even though the article says it won't be for 4 years, thats a short period of time for such jumps.

Who knows, I'd still like my hands on that chip, dammit. *salivates*

Big news -- wrongforum @ 12:20 pm
Blah Blah. Hype hype hype. New Roosh layout. Later tonight. Hype hype hype. End.

On another front, I have to write a speech for Public Speaking class today, which starts in about 3 1/2 hours. It has to bee a "how to" speech, where we tell the class uh, how to do something. A coupla guys are coming in with guitars and such, to show them their music inanity. I, however, have a much more benificial topic chosen - "How to become completely bitter and cynical before age 25". I am sure I will be completely convincing in my role.

Hexed -- wrongforum @ 11:48 am
Oh, well. We all know that the X-Men movie will bite el ass supremo, but stile (obligatory "no kids under 18" line here) has put up a pretty slick graphic done by a fan of those muties. I'm not a big Wolverine lover, but that guy is the closest thing to an X-Man in that pic, even though he still looks somewhat goofy. But Cyclops - damn, he looks like a boy scout that never made it out of the Weblos.

You can see the pic here. Don't say I didn't warn you, though.

People are messed up -- Sharkey @ 3:38 pm
Check out this site, (thanks to Doug, not that doug, for sending this in) and look at the smiling happy faces that people have while using this product. And what makes it even better is if you just stare at that top image for a second, and realize just why those people are so happy. That's right kids, they're coke-whores, that's why! Check out this lady, nobody could smile with water running in and out of their nostrils like that without being high as a kite. Damn junkies.

An odd morning -- wrongforum @ 9:43 am
So I wake up this morning, and my head is itching. I'm like, "yo, I washed my head last Wednesday, so my head shouldn't be itchin' for another week or two. What's up?" So I go to the bathroom, turn on the light, and look in the mirror. Ahhhhh!!! There's like 10 centipedes in my hair !!! AHHHHHH!!!!! Centipedes in my HAIR! Holy shit get them out! Poison pinchers!!!! POISON PINCHERS!!!!

What? It's almost over? -- wrongforum @ 12:18 am
Damn, where did the day go? I went ahead and declared it National Bence Appreciation Day and then didn't post anything about it. I hate working on the weekends >:(

So here is a freestyle poem written to my inspiration, Bence. We love ya man.

Bugs in the porno is my favorite story ever. Thanks, Bence, for making me laugh like a hyena on ecstacy. Go to the Not the Bence Jon Page if you haven't already.

Scotty's a dad at 80 -- Sharkey @ 3:52 pm
Check this out:

According to James (Star Trek's Scotty) Doohan's agent, the actor is set to become a father again in early April, weeks after his 80th birthday on March 3rd.

Doohan and his wife Wende, 44, have two sons, 21 and 23, and were reportedly not trying to get pregnant.

Stuff -- Sharkey @ 3:46 pm
Well, I hope you're all enjoying your weekend. I just got a call from Mox, who's on his way back from Vegas, so he can recuperate for a couple days before going back with the BAMF crew. Spooky should be out here in Cali by now, hangin' with fellow BAMF Peaches. Most of the BAMF's are going to Disneyland tonight. (I know, we do that a lot, but we've got passes beeyotch!)

Also, in case you didn't notice I threw up a new MP3 of the moment for your listening pleasure. Enjoy.

While the mofos are away... -- wrongforum @ 11:22 pm
Bah. Everybody is heading for Vegas, and I'm sitting in Tennessee. Damn you all to hell, all of you. I might as well be in a prison cell, with all the work I gots to catch up on this weekend. Bah x20.

Since I'll be the only fool on here this weekend, I'll try my best to entertain you. That is, if you find half-crazy chicken-shit rambling entertaining. Either way, I'm using this post to talk about all the crap not worthy of it's own post, so sit back and relax. Grab a soda. Prop up yer feet. That's better.

Okay, first off, I have no say in how this site is run, okay? I can't get you a job, because that's what corporate whores do, and I've still got a coupla years before that happens. So I'm sorry if you didn't get to post movie reviews on BAMF and had to settle for second best (ha, I'm joking - don't get offended) - I'm just not the person to talk to. It does inflate my ego somewhat, with all the groveling and whatnot.

Speaking of ego, I'll be the first to say that I let mine get out of control on occasion. A certain person on a certain website made some post about how they thought I should quit BAMF and how much they hated me. I responded with a round of letters that at best would be called inflammatory. Then about halfway through the third e-mail, I realized how big an ass I was being, and we ended up having a nice conversation over AIM. So to all you e/n children out there - your ego is your worst enemy. Your second worst enemy is Solosier, and thirdly, Satan. Actually, it's probably a tie between ego and Solosier. :)

I also got this swank pic of Nappa in the mail. How badass is that?

I joined that Listen listserve over at Hear Ye, but I think I'm gonna get my name offa that list. I just got 7 e-mails fighting about if Heidi Klum was hot or not. Shut the fuck up! You know she's hot, and you know you've got no chance to ever meet her, let alone touch her. God, just shut up.

I declare tommorrow National Bence Appreciation Day. I am one of Bence's biggest fans (no joke, I mean it) and want him to know that the whole world appreciates his self-degrading humor on a daily basis. And for god's sake, he got me into Sloan. They really are the baddest rock band out right now. Go download "Money City Maniacs" offa Napster or Macster and see the light.

Oh, and I spent the day downloading Metallica songs, which is absolutely weird, since I'm not a big fan. SO here are my top five favorite mp3's downloaded in the last week.

5. Aimee Mann - One
4. Refused - New Noise
3. Our Lady Peace - One Man Army
2. Aimee Mann - You Could Make a Killing
And Number One is....
1. Metallica & the Frisco Symphony - No Leaf Clover

Okay, that's enough of that shit. Have fun this weekend - I know I won't :(

Slice of the Day -- Sharkey @ 7:23 pm
Gotta hurry, leaving for dinner. Today's slice is Guess girl Kim Smith.

Image 1 :: Image 2 :: Image 3

Yo Supes, Wazzup? -- Sharkey @ 6:12 pm
Do yourself a favor, check out the Superfriends Wazzup parody of the original Budweiser commercial. Funny-ass-shit. I meant to post about this yesterday, but I'm lazy.

Not fake after all? Maybe. -- Sharkey @ 5:25 pm
Here's a little bit of expert opinion from the other side of the spectrum. In case you haven't checked them already, have a look-see at the Natalie Portman nudie pics (unless you're at work or under 18, of course). And then if you hadn't read it, check out Egor's study of them, to get the feel for the situation. Now, one of our readers, Patrick, decided to contact The Fake Detective in order to shed more light on the subject. Here's what the gumshoe had to say:

I see no reason to believe the pictures are fakes. I've seen many scans of them. They were apparently printed in the February 2nd issue of the British tabloid "The Sun". Some pictures show her breasts to be unusually red, but maybe she just had them out in the sun too long. I think the pictures are real.

The Fake Detective

**UPDATE** I just received this e-mail from Egor who originally sent us evidence attempting to disprove the authenticity of the photos:

It wasn't until reading "The Fake Detective's" take on the pictures that I learned that the images were taken from the British tabloid "The Sun". Which would mean that the images are most probably scanned off of the low quality paper on which it and most other newspapers are printed on as well as a lower resolution a original image. This would be a fully logical explanation as to why there are color and line contrasts. With these new facts in mind I am to believe that they are most probably real. In the event that they are proven fake I would like to (read: obliged to) throw myself and grovel at the feet of the creator.

Egor

Re: Fan Art -- wrongforum @ 3:27 pm
Is it just me, or does that guy in the background of that pic of Bolt Boy look like that Nappa guy from Dragonball Z? He was a mean motherfucker if I remember correctly - I think he liked to jump through F-16's and blow up aircraft carriers.

Ahhh, just my kinda guy.

Nappa was a mean sonuvabitch alright, although its hard to take someone seriously when their name means "cabbage". -- Sharkey

Fan Art -- Sharkey @ 2:55 pm
Dig it, the guys at Nick's school must love us. Dig this sweet Bolt Boy fan art:

OpenDVD.org takes on MPAA -- Sharkey @ 12:52 pm
OpenDVD.org has started a revolt against the MPAA. I'm sure you're all quite aware (since I've reported on it so many times) that the MPAA wants to restrict where DVDs can be played, on what platform, etc. OpenDVD is one of the many sites who wants to see DVD open sourced. Very interesting stuff over there, including the source for LiViD, the Linux DVD Player software. I suggest you go check it out.

Gil Kane passes away -- Sharkey @ 11:21 am
Why didn't anyone tell me that Gil Kane passed away on Sunday? Man, the legends are just dropping like flies. In case you were born with your head in your arse, Gil Kane was one of the greatest artists Marvel and DC Comics ever employed, working on titles like Green Lantern, Hulk, and Spider-Man.

Bail me out, Charlie Brown! -- Sharkey @ 10:31 am
Pamelyn Ferdin, who did the voice for Lucy in the Peanuts animated specials, (and starred as Tony Randall's daughter on The Odd Couple) was sentenced to 30 days in jail. Pamelyn was arrested during an animal rights protest for carrying a "bull hook", a wooden rod with a metal hook used to teach elephants. Ferdin had joined animal rights activists who were protesting animal cruelty outside a circus in California. A local ordinance prohibits protesters from carrying large wooden sticks.

...Waitaminute... There's an ordinance in California that prohibits you from carrying a big stick at a protest? I'd be plenty pissed if I went to jail on "stick" charges. I wonder how big the stick has to be, like would they sentence a sheepherder if he brought one of those big curved sticks? And why sentence poor Lucy for bringing one? She's gotta be plenty old by now, wtf is she gonna do with a big stick? I could understand if they didn't like the hook on the end, but they shipped her into the pokey for carrying a big stick. That's like running multiple red lights and getting sent away because you forgot to signal.

RE: The Spirit of BAMF -- Bolt Boy @ 3:11 am
That's right MUTHA FUCKAS!! (Please reference middle finger pic)

Untitled -- wrongforum @ 10:48 pm
Yo homiez. This is the Spirit of Badassness. I am channeling my evil spirit through wrongforum for a few minutes, since he has much more tact than I do. Too bad I'm not gonna use any of that tact shit. Tact is whack.

I just want to let all you fuckers out there know a couple of things. 1 - nobody fucks with the spirit of BAMF. I will tear your motherfuckin throat out with my mind, pricks, so don't even try it. 2 - nobody fucks with my annointed disciples, or as you assholes out there like to call them, the posters and writers here at BadAssMofo. We fuckin REPREZENT. You will die by my hand by even doubting in your mind their worthiness.

Everybody knows that being badass means talking like a fuckin OG and loving violence and acting like you're gonna cap someone's ass because they lookin at you funny. That's right - there are many posers - a bunch of fuckin greenhorns - a bunch of little baby boy bitches out there who wish they were as goddamn awesome as the Spirit of Badassness is. But the fact of the matter is that you are are just the gravel under my feet, and you'll never get any higher than that. I gave birth to you, you bunch of arrogant little bastard junior high kids, and you wish you could be just like daddy. Well, too bad, you whiney pricks. Daddy's left home, and you ain't gonna get any child support. Your whore mother is dead in the ditch, and you're at home in the projects - alone, hungry, and scared.

You wanna know why you're scared, you little whiney nothing? Because you don't know what's happening. You just react to your environment and never own it yourself. YOU ARE ALWAYS AT MY MERCY. Your mind is nothing but a limp and used tea bag that has just been discarded into the trash. You are NOTHING. Remember that. You wanna know why the Spirit of Badassness is better than you? DO you? Well, you'll never learn, because to me, you FUCKING DON'T EXIST. If I walked past you on the street, I would not even see you.

A true mofo is perceptive. If you were perceptive, you would have noticed the blatant sarcasm thoughout this whole article. But of course you didn't - you're busily typing up your dimwitted retort to my questioning of your very right to existence in our world. Soon the whole internet will be filled with the most inane and banal comments - even more so than usual - because of your utter lack of perceptiveness.

So take some advice from the Spirit of Badassness - shut the fuck up. You don't have anything to say. Leave the talking to the professionals. You will be a mere footstool to us for the rest of your life, so get THE FUCK USED TO IT.

Can't go wrong with monkeys & retards -- Sharkey @ 9:30 pm
Oh man, there's no doubt in my mind that the e*trade monkey commercial was the best throughout the superbowl. So do yourself a favor and go download it.

You know, I just noticed that Im the only person to post on the main page all day. Pfft.... lazy schmoes.

Slice of the Day -- Sharkey @ 8:20 pm
In order to celebrate the fact that she's on TV right now (Friends), we're making Reese Witherspoon, amazingly hot MILF, Slice of the Day.

Image 1 :: Image 2 :: Image 3 :: Image 4

China bans Cartoon Network -- Sharkey @ 3:01 pm
Is there no end to their evils? Damn commies. The Chinese government has banned TNT's Cartoon Network, for reasons that they won't disclose. Maybe they have something against Ted Turner. Waitaminute, who doesn't have something against Ted Turner? Here's the skinny:

"Their actions violated relevant Chinese rules," an official with the State Administration of Radio, Film and Television said of the network. "They know very well what they did," he said, without elaborating.

VA Linux buys Slashdot -- Sharkey @ 2:02 pm
Slashdot.org has been bought. Again. VA Linux purchased Slashdot's owner, Andover.net, which comes with a slew of other sites under Andover's blanket. This includes such notables as Freshmeat and DaveCentral. The reported sale price was $1 Billion in shares and an undeterminate amount of cash according to the Register, but the press release doesn't exactly say the same thing. Pretty interesting turn of events, no? You can get the full scoop over at the Register.

Site additions: OTP and Search -- Sharkey @ 1:40 pm
I forgot to tell everyone about two new additions to the site. First off is the addition of On the Prowl to the site. Bolt Boy will be posting news and information to that section, and we'll let you know out here when theres an update. All versions of the trailer have been put up there as well, so if you missed out or wanted that high-res version, go get your groove on.

Second, I've added a search engine to the site. It's fully functional, and adds a kickass bit of functionality that I felt we were lacking. Check it out at the bottom of this page. I'll probably make it more easily accessible once I finally wrap up the redesign.

One last thing, and now is as good a time as any to announce it. Most of the BAMF crew is heading to Las Vegas next week for a little BadassMoFo R&R. We're going to begin filming the next episode of On the Prowl there, so if you want in on any of the fun, we'll be there from February 8th-10th. We'll be staying at the Monte Carlo, and if you want to meet up with me and members of the crew, just e-mail me. C'mon, you know you're down with the MoFo.

Natalie Nudes: Fraud? -- Sharkey @ 3:03 am
Well, yeah probably, but we knew that from the start. The Natalie Portman nude pics that I put up yesterday were some damn good fakes (if they are that is). So good, in fact, that I asked a few of our more graphics-experienced readers to put these pics to the test. Luckily, our buddy Egor from Digital Theatre decided to take the knife to this one. Check it:

Say it ain't so Natalie...

Uhhh.... -- Judge Sharkey @ 10:43 pm
Did I forget that Wrongforum is still in jail? Uh...did I forget to take Schmerz out of there as well? Uh-oh, that bottle of vaseline would have run out fast. Guess you know what that means kids, the TRIAL IS ON TOMORROW!

PS, my sympathies to Wrongforum for any... extra discomfort that he may have endured in the pokey.

Scary New Law -- Nick @ 7:18 pm
Thanks to Mike for this one.

> Proposed law in Mississippi would
>(ahem) get a grip on public priapism
>
>        WASHINGTON, DC -- There's a new contender for the year's
>dumbest proposed law: A bill in Mississippi that would make it a
>crime -- punishable by a year in jail -- for a man who is, ahem,
>sexually aroused (but fully clothed) to appear in public.
>
>        "Talk about hitting below the belt!" said George Getz,
>Libertarian Party press secretary. "Are phallic felonies really so
>frequent in Mississippi that the state needs a Private Parts Police
>to patrol men's underwear?"
>
>        The bill in question -- SB 2013, introduced by Republican
>State Senator Tom King -- is currently being considered by the
>Mississippi Senate Judiciary Committee.
>
>        It would redefine public indecency to include the showing of
>"covered male genitals in a discernibly turgid state." Violators
>could face up to a year in prison and a $2,000 fine.

Not cool -- Nick @ 6:35 pm

p.s. fuck you all

"Pseudo Sharkey" -- Bolt Boy @ 5:55 pm
Can't you people see what's going on. This "pseudo Sharkey" is trying to get you to trust him. Soon you'll be following him and making him your "leader". Then he'll tell you to kill yourselves on the night some stupid comet is in the air, and you'll do it. All so stupid simple.craft can call themselves badass and not have to worry about us kicking their ass.

Stupid simple.craft, stop these shenanigans and call your "pseudo Sharkey" back. Let the real Sharkey get better and take his place back at them helm of BAMF.

...And for the love of Christ "pseudo Sharkey"!!...do you think the readers are so dumb that they would believe that the real Sharkey likes Canadian midgets!?! Please!
Next time do some research in to the character you are portraying.

Stupid downtime -- Sharkey @ 5:18 pm
See what i mean kids? We were down for the past three freakin' hours! Crappitty-Crap-Crap. Anyway, hopefully this remains stable for now.

A very special slice... -- Sharkey @ 1:25 pm
Well, lookit what I received from the same guy (SG[Death]) who sent me yesterdays Natalie Portman pics. These should not be viewed by those of you at work, or by anyone under the age of 18 :) And BTW, not one more complaint about the Natalie pics, got me? Just because you dont like her and the other thousand-odd readers do, don't whine to me. You know how I feel about whiners.

Number 2 :: Number 3

Lara goes platinum, so does the model -- Sharkey @ 12:10 pm
In one of the oddest advertising stunts I've ever seen, the real-life Lara Croft model will be body painted from head to toe live on the web. This is in "celebration" of the March 10 release of Tomb Raider 3 on PlayStation's mid-price platinum range. You can catch the show on Thursday Feb. 3 at 7:30 a.m. EST right *hmya*. What a blatently targeted (albeit phenominally brilliant) stunt. Although, I feel bad for anyone who paid money for Tomb Raider III. I hadn't seen a hyped-up pile of shit that big since Blasto.

re: something's rotten... -- Solo @ 8:42 am
ummm... i am getting emails because stile posted an email saying it was from me. wtf? i haven't emailed him for months. any email with jstile in it gets filtered to my trash. and just read that email. have you ever heard me talk like that? and i spell it "poser." besides, if i was going to say something like that to someone, like have before, i would not do it privately, i would publicly make fun of them.

haven't you people learned through from experience, very stile posts can be taken as "true."

I do give stile props tho. he has his audience believing anything he posts... man, it's worse that surF and her minions. congrats stile, you have mindless masses of the 31337 at your beck and call. you're proving them all morons. you remind me of someone else that used to do that all the time... oh yeah... me. and you wonder why i use the term "poser"? altho, everything i ever posted was true. stile can't say that.

but congrats stile, you are proving your audience is dumber than we thought. do me 2 favors, send one of the mindless whores that do what you say to Bence :) and if you are gonna repeadetly post about me, at least post something true. if you want me to write up and entire article about why i think you are an idiot, let me know. you don't have to keep making stuff up about me. anyone that knows me knows i prefer the truth.

and for those that consider themselves loyal fans of stile, i feel real sorry for you. i really, really do.

Dammit, are you blatently trying to get me hatemail Solo? If you are, congrats on finding the number one way to do so. -- Sharkey

Something's Rotten In Badassmofo -- Bolt Boy @ 5:42 am
Don't you people see what's going on!! The person who posted, "I'm not dead, really," is not the real Sharkey! In fact, the real Sharkey lies, helplessly, in a deep coma. He was beaten by fifty, Canadian, midgets, who were traveling with one of thoses Cirque du so crappy circuses. All he said was that the midgets in Barnum and Bailey's circus were better and as if from nowhere 50 munchkins jump him. They had bats, chains, cats, clown dolls, and hard french bread. And as if beating him wasn't enough, they drew a picture of the Canadian flag on his lifeless body.

Now simple.craft has posted an article saying that "a real badass beat Sharkey", and posted a pic of the man who supposedly beat him. This pic is actually the ring leader of the midgets. In actuality this mofo is only 3' 10", and Sharkey beat his ass real good (it was the 10 midgets with the clown dolls that really did Sharkey in) That man is no bad ass!! Now we all know that Sharkey is the most bad mutha of them all, so I'm wondering why simple.craft would have it in for him, and why would they put a Sharkey look alike in his place here at BAMF?

Simple conspiracy theory....

simple.craft is trying to take over the BAMF! They tried to kill off Sharkey! They're the ones who hired the midgets and put them under the disguise of Cirque du so crappy! They're the ones who armed the midgets with bats, chains, cats, clown dolls, and hard french bread! They tried to throw us off with the Canadian flag, but it didn't work! And now they are the ones who will pay! For this MoFo isn't going to take it. I already have an army of monkeys, armed to the teeth, waiting and willing, for my command to attack.

I will avenge Sharkey. So watch your back simple.craft, for many monkeys are coming to beat the living crap out of you....when you least expect it....

BTW...has anyone seen Mr. Mabs??....DAMN MIDGETS!!!!

DAMMIT BOLT BOY! I told you to lay off the ex, but you didnt, did you? *Sigh*, if you were of sound mind and body, you'd remember that the Shark-meister is down with every midget, all our little homies out there be a friend to this MoFo. Well, all except that Emmanuel Lewis guy who played Webster, but he isnt a real midget anyway. -- Sharkey

I'm not dead, really. -- Sharkey @ 1:35 am
I just got back from the gym (no, really), and what do I see? Stile points me to a SimpleCraft article stating that Im in an LA hospital. Well just to settle your minds, I'm ok. The good news is, they found the guy who stole my wallet while I was at the gym! Fuckin' A, not a single dollar missing. Case of mistaken identity I suppose. And I'll wait before that guy in the hospital gets out again before instilling a serious beat-down on his ass yet again.

My arms hurt, so I'm going to bed. Adios.

Jumpin' Jehossaphaphy -- Sharkey @ 6:48 pm
OY! Every time I log on and see them Natalie pics, I feel a little better about my day. Seriously, my wife Katie Holmes needs to pose in some of them pictures, make my day complete. I think in light of this, Im going to make Natalie the Slice of the Day. I know she was just spotlighted (heavily, I might add) in the Slice of the Century, but BA-DAM them pictures are sweet. If anyone else has anything along these lines, you know the address. My inbox awaits.....

And just to let everyone know, its really coming time to get BAMF on its own server. There are big expansion sections for this site sitting on my harddrive that I can't upload because of space/bandwidth limitations. So if anyone has any suggestions as to advertisers, or anyone who wants to gimme the cash to run the thing (pffft), please let me know. As I'm sure a few of you noticed, putting the "On the Prowl" trailers up caused a major outage, which I'm sure pissed off the service provider to no end. I don't want that shit to happen again. Luckily I've got an alternative for now, but the big picture is, MoFo has grown too big for its current crib. Its a big fucking baby that doesnt play well with the other children in the playpen. I don't want to have to clean up that diaper, so send in them suggestions!

Share the Dream -- Nick @ 5:01 pm
I can get extra credit in my AP English class if I write an essay for Black History Month. Our Coca-Cola sponsored official topic-

"As We Enter A New Century And Continue To Become More Ethnically Diverse, What Are Your Ideas on Strengthening Relationships Among The Many Types of People Who Make Up Our Communities?"

This right here, is the reason why Nick works at Badassmofo.com. Creativity + Humor + Balls = BAMF.

Back from the beyond -- Captain Terror @ 4:21 pm
Finals week is almost over and it will be back to business as usual. That means a few more reviews and more updates on the games page (to which I have been lagging). Don't worry, the old Capster will take care of you soon.

Oh, and stop with the Solo hate e-mails. I don't even know the guy. Nor do I read his posts unless I see the buzz words "tits" or "naked" in them. I'm sure Sharkey will be glad to hear your ... ehem.. suggestions.
Late,
C.T.

Pie alert! Pie alert! -- Sharkey @ 3:41 pm
Whoa whoa whoa, hold the phone. Check out these pics of our runner up for SotC, Natalie Portman, at the beach. Thanks to [SG]Death for the pics.

A few things -- Sharkey @ 3:35 pm
First off, shut UP about Solo. Like I havent got enough to do besides wade through hate mail.

Secondly, I put up a larger version (18MB) of the On The Prowl Trailer for those of you with cable modems who wanted a bigass, high-res version. You can pick it up *hmya*. Enjoy.

Untitled -- wrongforum @ 2:49 pm
Okay, that makes the second disparaging e-mail about Solo I've gotten in as many days. First off, I'm not the person to talk to about it - Sharkey runs the place, so yap yer gabber at him. Second off, Solo is here because Sharkey left the front door open and Solo sneaked in at 3 in the morning. We tried to get rid of him at first, but he's just such a lovable scalawag that Sharkey let him become one of the family. And family is family - he's here until he decides to leave, and that's that. So quit complaining about it. He doesn't even post that much anyway.

Oh, and I'm a filthy liar. Did you people think I was low enough to actually hack somebody else's page? Please - I wouldn't know where to start even if I wanted to hack somebody's site. I do, however, know how to work Dreamweaver and Photoshop, hee hee. There's a difference between being badass and just an ass.

haha. -- Solo @ 2:23 pm
after my little rant this morning, some guy emailed me saying my parent's are on crack for naming me "solosier" haha. I bet he thinks Sharkey's real name is "Sharkey." Morons... i try to get along with them... but damn... this guy was SERIOUS. He's one of those kids that used a homosexual reference every other sentence... you know the ones. what is their fascination with gay people?

Spreading Christmas cheer -- Sharkey @ 1:09 pm
Check this one out:

Police in Pittsburgh identified a 31-year-old man as the person who was too lazy to lug his Christmas tree down to the street and thus simply tossed it out his sixth-floor window on Christmas Day. The tree hit a power line on the way down, knocking out electricity to about 400 customers and deadening the 911 line briefly until a backup generator kicked on.

Simpsons character to take dirt nap... -- Sharkey @ 11:49 am
Whoa, according to this Newsweek article, a character on The Simpsons is going to get offed in the February 13th episode, and it is rumored to be Maude Flanders. The evidence provided was that the title of the upcoming episode is "Alone Again, Natura-Diddly". Also, Maggie Roswell, who provides Maude's voice, left the show because she was tired of commuting from Denver to Los Angeles to record her lines. This better not be like that "Rear Window" spoof where it turns out Ned killed his ficus. Not that I want Maude dead or anything, its just that I don't like gettin' jerked around.

"We thought it would be interesting to show how the surviving characters cope with the death and maybe take them in a new direction," Scully said. "Plus, it's sweeps. "

Slice o' el century -- wrongforum @ 7:42 am
I was down at Mofo Central when Sharkey announced the Slice of the Century. Here is an excerpt of the mofo club meeting minutes:

"Shouts of assent. Much pounding on tables. Three cheers erupt for club ideals. Membership reduced to tears. More huzzahs. Pandemonium ensues."

Dont Throw Stones -- Spooky @ 7:06 am
You know the old saying, "dont throw stones if you live in a glass house." Well. Now the saying holds even more true as a fine piece of pie has taken up residence in her own little glass house. In Santiago Chile, Daniela Tobar is going about living her life in a 8ft x 8ft glass house as part of a study to judge how the public feels about privacy. How do I feel about it? Are you kidding me? She is showering naked for all the world to see. Forget about privacy! Im not sure how this proves anything about how people feel about privacy. Then again Im not sure I really care.

"As I stepped out of bed, the crowd starting chanting, 'Undress,' Undress!"' she complained.

god i hate aarons -- Spooky @ 6:41 am
Just a quick word because its so early and Im so goddamn cheery this morning. Aaron, for such a *smart* guy you seem to be missing the obvious. If Solo is posting here then he is proven to be badass (or he has been paying Sharkey off). If you visited Solosier then you would see he definatly has a way with the women. Mmmm how I love those Mornings... That alone makes him more then you will ever be. Now step off before I bat your ass.

god i hate morons -- Solo @ 4:18 am

From: "Aaron" [eniac@dingoblue.net.au] Subject: 4 year aniversary of duke nukem

Man get your facts right

Duke had some platform games made before duke 3d hit town

so hed be probably 10 years old

Update He was kind enought ot send me a Duke history page, along with the oh so original "you're a fag" comments that every 14 year old spouts. but my original post, was duke nukem 3d, and FPS games. NOT side scrolling scenes. That's a whole fucking different genre.
oye vey! must.... i.. talk... slow... so.. every... body... can ... get... what... i... am... saying...? Duke Nukem 3d had it's 4 year aniversay 3 days go. the original side scroll games were something TOTALLY DIFFERENT.

before you bash me, READ ALL OF THE STORY.
the entire post is about FPS (first person shooters)
so i would think your mind would be able to grasp, i am also talking about the DUKE FPS game. but i guess some
people out there aren't able to grasp concepts like reading every word and even "into" what the entire scope of the post is about.

now go annoy shlonglor or something. i did stop posting on my page and i thought people would analyzing every single thing i type while missing the entire point. people, if i am such and idiot, why analyze every god damn thing i do/say to prove you are better than me, even thogh i am right???

to all morons out there; how about this, you are better than me. you rule. i suck. i bow to your superior knowledge. will you shut up now?

(btw, on a side note, i just got promoted to upper management in my multi million dollar web firm. stock options baby... it's all about the stock options... but i know nothing about web design, right? morons.)

/rant

I'm Going For A Walk... -- Bolt Boy @ 3:18 am
Unholy crap!! If you're a Bad Religion fan (If you are not, you suck! turnoff your comp and beat yourself!) then you'll be excited to hear that they are back in the studio recording their new album :

Bad Religion To Mix Next Album: Political punks Bad Religion will enter a Los Angeles studio next week to begin mixing their 14th album, with mixer Bob Clearmountain (Counting Crows, Bruce Springsteen), singer Greg Graffin said. Veteran singer/songwriter Todd Rundgren produced the disc. Among the slated songs are "The New America," "A World Without Melody" and "I Love My Computer." "As opposed to being full of warning and vitriol about how terrible times are, it's more of an awakening to a new era," Graffin said. The disc also reunites the band with founding guitarist and Epitaph Records head Brett Gurewitz, who co-wrote and plays guitar on the track "Believe It." [Thurs., Jan 13, 2000 9:11 PM EST]".

Hopefully this means they will be going on tour again. If you haven't been to a Bad Religion show you are missing out. They are one of the best bands I have seen live.

On another note...The BAMF Movie page kicks ass!! Killbot1138 knows his shit about movies, and also get a lot of info about the "Biz". I don't know how he does it either. Maybe the casting couch with him playing catcher. Well, I suggest you check it out. For if you don't, beast monkeys will come, with hoses made of rubber, and beat your precious, hairy, bootie!

Hey Peaches.....Hows my hand print look on your ass?!?!

A late night ring-ding-ding... -- Sharkey @ 1:23 am
So I made a call to our resident badass homie Spooky tonight, just to let him know that yes, I do love pretzels. A lot. Salty, buttery, it don't matter. MMm... Welcome to the family, needless to say we were abused children. :)

Do me a favor kids, e-mail Spooky and let him know that ya love him. He does a lot of shit around here and he don't get his due respect. I'd tell you to do the same for Wrongforum, but his ass is in jail.

Oops, did I leave that sheep-raper Schmerz in there with him? Uhh....

Hepburn - S.O.T.C. -- Mox @ 12:27 am
Yeah, Audrey Hepburn might have "proven to be a slice to be proud of", but I can guaran-damn-tee you that H.G. sucks a meaner dick.

OK, so Mox can post, but he can't answer his fucking phone? WTF is up with that? Bastard, you know the number, give us a call. -- Sharkey

Slice of the Century: The Finals -- Sharkey @ 12:08 am
This is it kids, the moment of truth, the grand mofo'in' finale to our Slice of the Century Extravaganza. Who will be the winner? Find out for yourself. Check it out from the beginning or skip straight to the finals.

Any news, comments, pie? Send it

Old News for January

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