Movie Reviews

8 MM -- Sharkey
Well, went and saw 8MM on opening night. It wasn't phenominal, but it wasn't bad. I've never been a big Schumacher fan. Aside from St. Elmo's Fire and Lost Boys I pretty much hate everything he's done. (Nipples on Batman, that bitch) He tries a lot of effects to make you feel how Nicholas Cage is losing it, but it's counteracted by Cage's mediocre performance. This movie is definitely not for pussies. There's some pretty fucked up shit, but what would you expect from Andrew Walker (Seven). It started off slow, but got more interesting up until the end, which was a disappointment.  As Mr. Mabs said, this is not a first date movie, or maybe it is, if you got the key lime pie in effect.

10 Things I Hate About You -- Mr. Mabs
Well, it was worth the time and the price I paid, 'course, I haven't paid to see a movie since 1991. I give it a C+. Chicks are hot, but jailbait.

Analyze This -- Sharkey
Went to see "Analyze This" tonight. I can't believe they made DeNiro cry like a sissy girl. They set him up to be this badass like in "Casino", and he turns out to be a whiny bitch. And not only that, he's bad at it! I've never seen DeNiro act so ineptly as when he has to act like a crying bitch. He's too much of a Badass MoFo to degrade himself that way. It was funny at times, but predictable.

Cruel Intentions
Mmmmm....Sarah Michelle Gellar.....Reese Witherspoon. Even the other chick in the movie is hot. It's like Mabs said, as soon as she makes out with Buffy, she's suddenly hot. Anyway, the movie itself is pretty good. The plot revolves around two rich kids (Gellar and Phillipe) who manipulate people into giving them what they want (SEX).

EDtv
Fantastic movie. Anyone who thinks that this is a ripoff of The Truman Show is dead wrong. (It is actually a sort of remake of some obscure French-Canadian film, but who gives a shit?) The acting is pretty good too. Matthew McConaughey has the perfect "dolt" act down as Ed, and Woody Harrelson plays his asshole of a brother. Jenna Elfman (scientologist...grrr..) does a good job as Ed's love intrest, and Liz Hurley's breasts are fantastic as his lust interest. I bet a lot of people say that they hate it because it's a ripoff or some bullshit about Ron Howard, but it was really entertaining. Go see it.

Go -- Sharkey
OK, you're either going to love Go or hate it. If you hate it, it's because the movie completely rips off the storytelling style of Pulp Fiction. It follows three stories, all of which interweave the same way the stories in Pulp Fiction did (and a few movies even before that). On the other hand, you could love it. And with good reason. The movie is fucking hysterical. Everyone in the theatre was laughing out loud through the entire second story ("two chicks at the same time?"). Plus, it's got Katie Holmes, resident Dutch Apple. So if you get all bent when a movie steals cinematic elements from others, stay away!! Go back to your homes and stay there. But trust me when I say that if I paid to see movies, I'd wouldn't have felt cheated out of $7 for this great flick.

BTW, the cat scene kicked ass.

Lock, Stock, and 2 Smokin' barrels -- Sharkey
Go see this movie NOW. One of the funniest movies I've seen in a long time. Unfortunately not playing in too many theatres near you, so find out where it is and go see it!

Office Space
If you've ever worked in a cubicle, see this movie. It perfectly illustrates what every one of us wanted to do, and why. And Jennifer Aniston is still a dutch apple. I recommend this movie highly. 

Rushmore -- Sharkey
Great movie. The kid in it is such an ass, you have to like him. Unfortunately a lot less of a comedy than the trailer led you to believe, but it has it's moments. Go see it. It reminded me of one of my favorite books, "Youth In Revolt" by C.D. Payne. Read it if you get a chance.

Thin Red Line
Went to go see it before work today. It's a very interesting movie, but it will turn a lot of people off. The movie is heavily narrated, and the director tried to use the camera angles to incorporate feeling. This sometimes makes you feel naseous, because the camera will follow someone around in circles for quite awhile. And the fact that there is no main character to follow leaves you sort of disoriented, which is (I guess) the director was trying  to achieve. There's a lot of big stars in it who appear for a few minutes and eat shit or disapppear. And there's a completely idiotic scene with Woody Harrelson which shouldn't have been there. Thankfully, I didn't have to pay to see it, because I would have been pissed. It already took three hours of my time, which they should have payed me for.

True Crime -- Sharkey
Not too bad, but far from perfect. Clint isn't quite the badass he used to be, yet somehow scores more in his old age. Most of the plot development is clumsy, yet blatently obvious the whole way through. The movie would have been better if it didn't draaaaag. The movie follows Clint's 12 hour quest to prove a convited murderer's innocence. All of the characters seem secondary to Clint's character development, and you don't really care about him. Dennis Leary plays his weak editor, and weak is not Dennis Leary. I want to see him rant and rave dammit. The movie's climax is far too predictable, because they try to foreshadow every single little detail. See it if you like Clint or are opposed to the death penalty.

Twin Dragons -- Sharkey
Not one of the better Jackie Chan movies, but it was still worth seeing. The plot was the lamest yet, but the fight scenes were excellent. It's the (way overdone) story of twins separated at birth who reunite in a wacky and zany situation. The good part about this is that one twin is good and the other is kind of a slimeball, so we get to see a kickass thug Jackie Chan who does chicks he doesn't even know. The bad part is that the other twin is a pussy. If I go see a Jackie Chan movie, I don't want to see him act like a puss. Ever. I want to see him climb up walls and jump in and out of fucked up situations, kicking ass the whole way. Oh, and they didn't even show any outtakes at the end! WTF is that? The fights were, as usual, the only good part of this flick.