Outdated By The Time It Hits The Shelves
I’m sure everyone is tickled pink that Time’s Man (Person? Feh.) of the Year is, in fact, you. This has essentially rendered the internet unreadable today, as every site was inundated with the obligatory egocentric “Yay I’m Time’s Person of the Year!” post. Great, thank you for being the 8 millionth fucking idiot to cash in on that completely obvious joke. It’s quite apparent that Time simply realized that we had all become so ridiculously idiotic and egotistical that we’d rather hear about ourselves than any figure of actual importance. In the last year we’ve elevated bloggers’ opinions to a level of near-Gospel-like factual relevance, exposed millions to the inane ramblings of meaningless twits on Youtube simply because they own a webcam, and given pedophiles easier access than ever to children’s awaiting virginal orifices. Truly, this is a golden age of information and entertainment. Pat yourselves on the back everyone, we’ve accomplished deeds of such importance that we’ve earned similar accolades to Hitler.
Time did do something that I agreed with, however, when they declared the PS3 a bust. I haven’t wanted a system less since the 3DO, and that includes the Jaguar. They did bag on Snakes on a Plane, which to my knowledge was quite enjoyable to most people, myself included. Maybe next year they’ll put themselves on the list and I won’t have to suffer through their redundant magazine in my doctor’s office anymore.
Besides, I don’t need them. I have blogs staffed by millions of Men of the Fucking Year to keep me informed.
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