Swing Your Arms From Side To Side
Captain Lou Albano, otherwise known as Mario and the guy from those Cyndi Lauper videos, died today. In his honor, I will be drinking myself retarded and embarrassing myself by “doing the Mario” at the bar all night.
Yes We Cannibal
I didn’t think that “health care reform” would bring out the Gollum in people, but apparently it has.
California authorities say a clash between opponents and supporters of health care reform ended with one man biting off another man’s finger.
Ventura County Sheriff’s Capt. Frank O’Hanlon says about 100 people demonstrating in favor of health care reforms rallied Wednesday night on a street corner. One protester walked across the street to confront about 25 counter-demonstrators.
O’Hanlon says the man got into an argument and fist fight, during which he bit off the left pinky of a 65-year-old man who opposed health care reform.
A hospital spokeswoman says the man lost half the finger, but doctors reattached it and he was sent home the same night.
Stay classy leftards.
Because I Know How Much You Like ‘Em
Guess Her Muff. (thanks Billy Ray)
Highly entertaining, in case you aren’t a fan already. Some updates are really hot, others are really hilarious. Sometimes you just don’t see those MILF clit adornments coming.
A city panel in charge of overseeing marijuana possession crimes in Denver recommended on Wednesday that the fine for possession be set at $1.
AdvertisementIf Denver’s presiding judge accepts the recommendation from the Denver Marijuana Policy Review Panel, the fine would be the lowest in the entire nation for marijuana possession.
“By setting the fine at just $1, we are sending a message to Denver officials that the era of citing adults for using a less harmful drug than alcohol is over. It’s simply not worth the city’s time or resources,” said panel member and SAFER Executive Director Mason Tvert, who coordinated the successful Denver marijuana initiatives.
I really can’t hate on you at all, Denver. You’ve got hoop dreams, and you’ve got ‘em bad.
Do Want
I want this shirt. And this one. And one of these while I’m at it.
And while I’m shopping, this would make a great new hat.
Some Assholes Never Learn
McFarlane Starts Writing New Spawn Movie
“Spawn” creator Todd McFarlane has announced that he has officially begun writing the screenplay for a new movie based on the character.
“The story has been in my head for 7 or 8 years,” McFarlane said. “The movie idea is neither a recap or continuation. It is a standalone story that will be R-rated. Creepy and scary.”
He added that “the tone of this ‘Spawn’ movie will be for a more older audience. Like the film ‘Departed.’”
So the old weary artist inside regrets cashing in and making that first piece of shit flick, and now he wants another shot at glory. That, or he hopes that the lingering stench of John Leguizamo has cleared out, and the public will have forgotten his past filmmaking sins. Either way, it should be a spectacular piece of garbage, and I can’t wait to get exceptionally drunk and not watch it.
If he really wants to get my attention, he should make a movie about what a good investment those home run baseballs were.
Youth In Revolt Trailer
Yes, yes, yes, fucking yes. A thousand times yes.
Sheeni isn’t quite what I imagined, but Steve fucking Buscemi as George F. Twisp? Genius.
Headline of the Year
Swedish Lesbians Suck Sperm Banks Dry
Sweden’s fertility clinics are racking up a serious backlog of people waiting for artificial insemination, due in part to a “spike” in demand from lesbian couples for vital supplies of man juice.
So bad have things got that prospective customers at Sahlgrenska University Hospital in Gothenburg are now forced to wait 18 months for treatment.
Those guys at the Register are always good for a laugh.
Stoner Stimulus
In the last year or so, I’ve seen close to 1000 ads for different medical weed spots crop up in just OC and LA counties. With Obama saying basically that he won’t bother with potheads, these shops have been popping up with more frequency than Starbucks or McDonalds. That said, it looks like someone is capitalizing on the new basically legalized weed production in SoCal in what I tend to refer to as Stoner Stimulus:
Residents of Newport Beach, Costa Mesa and Huntington Beach will reap the rewards of late-night delivery that will last until 3 a.m. Sunday-Thursday and 5 a.m. on Friday and Saturday.
Beginning tonight, Midnight Muncheez will sell sandwiches (”fat” sandwiches, says co-owner Jared Jones, pictured left) with such fillings as pastrami, turkey, meatballs and roast beef. They’ll be available hot or cold for about $7.
There’s also a king-size hot dog with a smattering of toppings that can be ordered.
The real highlight, which Jones said is expected to launch Aug. 21, is the 14-inch pizza, eight slices per pie, that will cost $11.99. Each topping will cost $1 and there’s a normal selection of meats and veggies to choose from.
The idea is that not everybody drinks late into the night, but even non-drinkers have to eat, Jones said.
I remember during the dotcom boom sites like Cosmo and PinkDot would deliver pretty much anything at any time. This idea sounds like a pretty good one for wacked out people who shouldnt be making a taco bell run at 4 am.
Keep this in mind
the next time some stupid asshole says that “children are the future”
Full video coverage from the 10th Annual Gathering of the Juggalo’s here The MOAB was created for events such as this. Seriously, wtf is wrong with these people. At least you expect a certain level of mental deficiency at a Jerrys kids show, but this appears to be just a gathering of the worst forms of white trash from New Jersey to Texas. Burning Man at least has hot chicks naked.
Remember, these are the people Obama wants to waste your taxdollars on for medical coverage.
