| Wednesday, September 13, 2000 |
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Questions to Ponder -- Captain Terror @ 9:23 pm
Okay. I have to ask: Do we really need a latin Grammy Awards show? Why does one race need their own awards show? Do they feel they were slighted in the everybody Grammy Awards? Are we going to have an Asian Grammy's next? Is there enough latin talent for a whole award show? (Other than Ricky Martin, Carlos Santana, Christina Aguilara and the Del Taco dog) Would people be as receptive if there was a white grammy award show? (Even though it would be a short list of categories. "And the award for elevator music goes to ..... John Smith, generic white guy") This just leaves one last question, "Can't we all just get along?" I thought segregation was illegal. Besides, where is Hispana anyway?
Late,
El Kapitan
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Lessons in whoring yourself -- Sharkey @ 5:20 pm
 So I hear on TV about two guys, who plan to get their college educations sponsored. They wear your clothes, advertise your product, and you put them through school. Think I'm kidding? Check out chrisandluke.com and see for yourself.Now if this isn't a clever way to whore your ass out, I don't know what is. Not for the college education. Fuck that, if these chumps were in it for the education, they might have put this ingenuity towards scholarship attempts. Nope, what they want, is the same thing that everyone wants. Free swag. In large quantities, and high in dollar value. Look, they practically admit it: What can we do for a sponsor? We will wear your clothes; (shirts, shoes, pants) use your equipment (tennis racquets, golf clubs, stereo, computers, DVD, watches) listen to your music, drive your cars, use your tires, drink your soda, eat your chips, fly your airline, and wear your sunglasses...  *Brow furrowed* Listen up. Any companies out there selling computers, DVD players, cars, golf clubs, anything... you don't have to send me back to school just to get me to plug your shit. Just send it to me, and it's now the official product of the Badassmofo. *Sigh* Shit man, these guys totally got ahead of me on this project. I mean, look at this shit:Imagine Chris and Luke attending major college football games, distributing samples and materials about your products and services. Imagine two buttfucks from God knows where get to go to football games for free, because they're corporate-sponsored whores. Man, just like Harry Knowles. Shit, and it does chaffe my ass to see them with the likes of Mandy Moore and NOFX. Bastards. Anyway, I applaud Chris and Luke for their ingenuity, by taking their asses, raising them high into the air and proclaiming, "Stick it in here, Big Brother!". Now, I wonder if Budweiser is looking for any whores....
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Another one goes on The List®? -- Sharkey @ 2:27 pm
I just got sent a link from Jon, who wanted me to check out this Drudge article "Cheney Declares War On Eminem". She's planning to put harsher age restrictions in place. Good intentions, sure. But wait until she figures out that it doesn't work. Kids can get whatever the Hell they want nowadays. Soon she'll realize, and try to take rights away, then we got the shit hittin' the fan. Why can't people just accept that the world is goin' straight to Hell? It's a lot easier to stomach other people that way.
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Spider-Man Release date... -- Sharkey @ 11:20 am
Well, looks like you, me, and every other Spidey fan will be plantin' their asses in a theatre chair on Nov. 2, 2001, anxiously awaiting Raimi's latest. I'm praying that he doesn't botch this up. I love Raimi's work, he's got an excellent track record in my book, and I'd hate to see it tarnished by him screwing up one of my favorite comic book characters. On a related note, the Spider-Man game for the Playstation sucks my ass. I'll put up a full review soon. But lemme tell you, if I find the Neversoft employees responsible for the controls in that game... I'll take a hot poker to their eyeballs and a hammer to the ends of each finger. Maybe that way they can't do any more harm. Bastards. Lastly, on a completely unrelated note, most of the BAMF staffers were killed in a flaming car wreck over the weekend. A tragic loss. Even more tragic is that the attempt to "deal with" fascist vice-presidential hopeful Joe Lieberman has been called off, since the chimp assasination squad members are the only ones in the MoFo army who can type.
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| Tuesday, September 12, 2000 |
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Say it ain't so! -- Sharkey @ 3:05 pm
So, if you found out that pie was bad for you, even made you a raging fatass, would you give it up? Neither would I. A man who ate 1,500 pies a year has halved his weight by giving up his favourite food.The computer technician, from Wakefield, West Yorkshire, decided his daily diet of four pies, which cost him £1,000 a year, had to go - and has since lost 11st 10lb. Haha, did you read the last line, where his GF calls him sexy? How much you wanna bet she's 300lbs and is thinking of cooking him for dinner? Gotta steer clear of that man-eating pie.
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Hardcore means a bit of suffering -- Sharkey @ 8:32 am
So I find a link the other day to the Worst Nintendo Experiences page at world-of-Nintendo.com. The stuff about getting sent to the hospital is funny, but I was more interested in the robbery stories, because I can relate. See, I was probably like 12-13 (guestimating) at the time, and the game Deja Vu for the NES had just come out. So with my birthday cash, I went over to the Mission Viejo mall to the EB store, and picked it up. Then I cruised over to the shitty little arcade they used to have, right across from the theatre that closed. I remember this vividly, I'm playing Double Dragon, and I hang my purchase on the joystick to the right of me, on the next machine over. Now, most people would be able to notice someone next to them, but I used to get in the zone as a kid. I mean, nothing would snap me out of it until I was good and fuckin' ready. So I pass the first level, glance to my left, and notice that the game is gone. I freak out. I can't find it, nobody in the arcade has it. My gaming habit had finally bitten me in the ass. So I ran to my Mother, explained the situation, and we went straight to EB. We told them that since the receipt was still inside, the theif would probably try to return it. They flagged the transaction number, (since I was apparently the only kid in America to buy Deja Vu, this wasn't too hard for them) I went home and waited. Sure enough, a week later I get the phone call. They caught the little bastard, and the cops were busy questioning him at that very moment. We haul ass to the Mall. I remember that I was thirsting for blood. I wanted them to hold that bitch there, so I could kick him in the balls for depriving me of the game for a week. No such luck, but I did end up getting my game back, and the guy got in some trouble with the cops. The ending to that game wasn't really worth it, but it was one of the first games where I was able to shoot innocent civilians, so it all worked out in the end.
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Slice of the Day -- Sharkey @ 12:53 am
Well, before Peter left he uploaded a couple of slices, no time like the present to enjoy, eh? So have yourself a gander at Part 1 of our Kelly Brook Gallery: 
Click for the gallery, beeyotch!
Mmm-hmmm. Expect the second half of that gallery tomorrow. (MASSIVE) Anyway, if you haven't checked it out already, there's a pie category in the MoFo Forum. If you're looking to make a request, you know what to do dog... bust a move.
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| Monday, September 11, 2000 |
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What to do, what to do... -- Sharkey @ 4:17 pm
Well, if you haven't registered in the forum, DO IT NOW! *ahem* Now, I've received a few e-mails from people regarding the new forum. All good responses so far, and it's pretty sweet interacting with you MoFos in there. One thing people have been asking about, however, is the comments. Only a few people have brought it up, a couple wanted to keep it, a couple say it should go. For now, it'll stay. It's a good way to get feedback on individual posts, and I doubt many people will go and start their own thread for a comment on a post in the forum. The forum was basically for conversations that exist outside of our regular posts, or extensions to old topics. But mainly, I just wanted it in there to get to know you guys better. I dunno, I like things the way they are now, but that may change in the future. People still seem to be commenting as usual, so it'll stay for the time being. And the forum itself is kicking ass. Great to see all the other web-hamsters in there as well. *Sigh*, if I have time when I get home, I'm gonna try out some hacks/whatnot. Maybe get a "who's posted the most" script, whatever seems cool. (Fieldy Snuts is in the lead right now, BTW). Anyway, more on that shite later. I gotta get some caffeine in this fleshy vessel.
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MoFo T-shirts -- Bolt Boy @ 4:04 pm
Yo MoFo's! I wanted to let everyone know that the Mofo crew plan on getting T-shirts made. Also, the design is being done by Pop Mhan. Pop is a popular comic book artist who does titles like "Spy Boy" and "The Flash". If you'd like to see some of his art work checkout his site. I'm sure the shirt will be very cool. Sharkey or myself will keep you posted. --bolt
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Jeezum Crow -- Sharkey @ 12:27 pm
It's a beautiful Monday. I wake up late, stumble into work, and see a note on the monitor from my boss. "Please see me as soon as you come in. URGENT!" So, I saunter on in, explain my lateness, sit down in the chair, and find out that the other webmaster resigned this morning. *spit take* WHAT?!? Yep. See, your ol' pal Sharkey has been doing the work of two webmasters for the last month. I really didn't mind, it's mostly reports and maintenence. The reason for this is because he was working on our new e-commerce change. We're moving to a new engine, and he was supposed to leave the minute the upgrade was finished. That was scheduled to be October-November. In case you didn't know, we're just starting September. And that means that the new e-commerce solution isn't done. That also means that I'm the only webmaster left. That also means that I have 24 hours to learn enough of this software (which I was left in the dark about until now, due to time constraints) to make sure that we go ahead with it. Otherwise we stick with our current piece of shit system and my (work) life remains a living Hell. *Ties rag around his head like Rambo* Time to kick some ass. If I don't get a promotion out of this sum'bitch, it's time to search for greener pasteurs. So if you notice less updates, that's why. I'm busy reading through about 1000 pages of documentation, configuring the COM object, or banging my head against my desk in frustration. Anyway, so how's your Monday going?
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WANTED: Complete idiot -- Sharkey @ 9:36 am
This is just a little too much idiocy for my Monday morning: Hollywood, FL. - The ad reads: "WANTED. Alligator wrestlers. Must be brave and a risk taker. Males and females OK. No experience needed." Every day at the Okalee Village and Museum, Seminoles jump into a 6-foot-deep swimming pool, stalk a 7-foot alligator hiding on the bottom, and grab the reptile by the tail to the delight of paying tourists. ''Traditionally, Seminoles have done this,'' tribe spokesman Chuck Malkus said. ''The reason why we have the job openings is because tribe members now are going into banking, communications, e-commerce and law school, so we have a shortage of candidates.'' Gee, a shortage of candidates, eh? You ever wonder why they have to keep replacing the bastards? I figure because of shit like this, personally. And what's this about "No experience necessary". This is America dammit, where you need previous experience to work the drive-thru window at Burger King. Alligator wrasslin' is one job you hope people have experience in.And it's pretty funny that tribe members are running off to be successful. Can you imagine your Dad saying, "Son, I know you've got this foolish lawyer nonsense in your head, but that's just your Mother talking. I want you to grow up to be an alligator wrassler, like your uncle One-eyed Joe, or Three-fingered Manny over there."
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| Sunday, September 10, 2000 |
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Thought of the Day -- Captain Terror @ 10:02 pm
Why do they put blinkers on cars sold in California if no one uses em? Yea, you, you bitch ass punk. You're pissed at me cause I'm on your ass? Try a fuckin blinker next time asshole! They actually let me know that you're going to cut my ass off! But, I'm over it. Road rage isn't my thing. This has been the thought of the day.
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MoFo Forum is OPEN -- Sharkey @ 6:50 pm
Yeah baby, it's finally up and online. So go ahead, go on and check out the new MoFo Forum. Be sure to register, and we'll be settin' up some topics and shit over the next couple of days. So what are you doing? Go on, test that sucka out!
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Enough! -- Sharkey @ 12:35 pm
Damn, I can't stand to look at the main page with this stunning lack of posts. At least I know I was bustin' my ass workin' on the site over the weekend. I got that forum software working, (thanks to Theseus and everyone else kind enough to help me out) and I should be opening the sum'bitch up today.  So, I was gonna post about how Mox is a bitch, since he's told the OC MoFos that he'd be coming down from LA to hang each weekend. Then what happens? Nothing. But then in the middle of writin' this shit, he calls up cuz' he's coming down to hang out, watch the games and see Way of the Gun.
Still a bitch though, burn victim or not. :) Now I'm gonna go watch Chicago get their asses beat like a read-headed stepchild. Oh wait, that game was too boring for Fox to keep on the air. Looks like I'm gonna watch Philly get their asses beat.
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| Friday, September 08, 2000 |
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It's Friday, you ain't got no job.... -- Sharkey @ 12:17 pm
You know, you just feel that little bit better when you realize that your Friday workday is almost half over. And it's even nicer when you realize that you don't have neo-nazis threatening your life like some people I know. *Sigh* Still wish I were at home, though. Hey, any of you Netscrape users notice anything different about this site? Yeah, I got off my ass and made this place look almost exactly the same in Netscape as it does in IE. The navbar to the left used to have no light blue border in Netscape, so I decided to fix that. And also, since staffers have been buggin' me about it, music is now in the daily sections list. Anyway, hopefully I'll have the new forum up and running this weekend. If any of you have suggestions as to the forum software that you feel we should use, by all means, comment. Right now it looks like we'll be going with UBB, unless you've got a better idea. I guess I'll install the freeware version for you guys to test, unless someone can find me a crack or something of the licensed version. Sorry, I ain't got 200 bucks to spend on software since I have to buy a damn server by the end of the month.
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Napster Big Hack Attack -- Raygun @ 8:01 am
A large number of sites were hacked last night by a Napster supporter known as pimpshizRelated Website Defacements: If you come across a website that isn't still defaced try: /hacked.html NASA Spartan - Innovative Recoverable Spacecraft(again)
www.fmc.gov
www.stockport.gov.uk
www.gm.gov.cn
Verizon Wireless\Airtouch
KMIZ TV: ABC 17
Don Henley(Anti-Napster music artist)
Models Network International(again)
Oriental Bank & Trust(again)
Nike TW(again)
The Norway Post(again)
Ovation Television
Wisdom Television\Radio
American Society of Baking
National Depressive & Manic-Depressive Association
www.evimed.ch
FileNet Corporation USA
www.users.vance.net
Business Card Express
New Orleans Radio
Ragtime Press
DataStream Networks
All Nature's Safeway
Aboriginal Peoples Television Network
Borderlands Information Center
The Center for Defense Information
Palm Infocenter
Pioneer Animation
AccessZone
FlimFlam
GMC Motorhomes
IBCNet, Inc.
Mountain Gap Inn
New Spirit Schools
Regulatory Compliance Information Center
Sharp Communication
DD&G Professional Services, Inc.
Integrated Visual Concepts, Inc.
Windy City BMW Club
American Motorcyclist Association
Autonetas
LHCB
Aldine Independent School District
Drakkar Resources Humaines, Inc.
E-Lacrosse
Ira School Web
Department of Mechanical Engineering
Arrowhead Auto Sales, LLC
Communications Workers of America Digital
Printing & Imaging Association That's some pretty cool shit. I heard the Napster creator was an award presenter on the MTV Music Video Awards and that he was wearing a Metallica shirt. Very cool.
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Slice of the Day -- Sharkey @ 1:43 am
Today's slice was one of the last left behind by our comrade, Peter, who left for Maryland this morning. We miss you already, pal. Watch out for this super-spicy gallery of Angel Veil: 
Click for gallery
Mmm... quite nice. You think I'm kidding on this one, but theres some seriously spicy shit in there, so mind the age check, will ya? Ahh, thanks again Peter.
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| Thursday, September 07, 2000 |
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The strange story of the Anachronist -- Dutch @ 1:56 pm
Some of you may remember The Kazm as a new addition to the E/N scene a few months back. It was a promising, fun-loving site. The Anachronist, who used to be a regular fixture in the comments section here, talked Raygun and myself into being guest posters and there was a Goat Porn section (down, so I linked to another site that has some).Then, last month there began to be signs. The Anachronist started posting at iamhappybule and seemed less interested in maintaining his own site. He sent me a link to Red Army Vodka, then didn't post about it. I thought he was joking when he sent me more Communist links. He said he was working on a redesign of his site, third time since it opened, so I didn't think anything of it. Well, the redesign is complete and it looks great, and fucking Communist. WTF? I'm not just talking r33t-style joking Communist, the whole site is all about fucking Communism, he's got his whole staff turned Commie. It still follows an E/N format, but everything they post about leans towards Communism, craziest fucking thing I've ever seen.
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Have you seen this pop-star? -- Sharkey @ 1:39 pm
 Oops, TLC member (or former member or whatever) Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes has been missing for over a week now, and her relatives are starting to get a little nervous. The "New York Post" reports that Left Eye was last seen on August 31, when a friend visited the singer at her apartment. The "Post" reports that Lopes then missed a Labor Day weekend get-together with her family in Atlanta and did not turn up at a scheduled press conference in Las Vegas on Tuesday. "Lisa, if you're reading this, please call us. We're very worried about you," publicist Matt Shelton told the "Post." Alright kids, step right up, place your bets. What kinda guesses do we have here? Shotgun wedding in Vegas? Dead in the Mississippi? Coked up in a New York alley? Place your guesses in the comments. Yeah, I know it's bordering on morbid, but I need retribution for "Waterfalls" and "No Scrubs". *shudders*
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Bargain hunters unite -- Sharkey @ 11:20 am
So I was cruising around, and checked out good ol' Shlonglor's site. One of his first stories is about a nice scheme to net yourself a 60GB Maxtor HD for about $181 (plus a free 32MB stick of SDRAM). The deal itself is great. You take an online price, have them match it, then take a coupon price off. Voila. Some people in that forum have purchased the 60 Gigger for a mere $140. Seems to me that if you want the sucker for the lowest possible price, you'll need to go to 9thTee, and add the 60GB HD to your shopping cart. Print that. Print a copy of the coupon code, then maybe a copy of their price match policy and a receipt from someone who pulled it off, just to be safe. You can pull off the deal with their 30GB HD as well. I figure you can probably get that sucker down to about $80-85 bucks if you play your cards right. Plus the free stick of RAM. If any of you know of any sweet online deals for these Maxtor drives, slap 'em in the comments.
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Pass the needle, Watson -- Sharkey @ 10:18 am
I love history, especially cultural history. Now, occasionally you'll come up with a great gem of pop-culture history. Like that Shakespear was (back then) just trite theatre for the masses, sort of a TRL for the Euro trash of the late 1500s-early 1600s. But how many of you knew (growing up) that Sherlock Holmes was a cokehead? Did Sherlock Holmes use drugs? Yes, morphine and cocaine; see The Sign of the Four and a few other tales. Both drugs were legal in Holmes's time, could be bought at the corner drugstore, and were ingredients in patent medicines and popular products including Coca-Cola. Man, I remember reading a ton of Holmes books as a kid, and not putting two and two together. "Quickly Watson, the needle!" It was sort of a nostalgic mindfuck when I found out. Kind of like when you found out Santa Claus didn't exist, or when Pee-Wee got caught in that porno theatre. There are also different theorists who think that Holmes could have either been autistic, or had ADD. But then, these are the same people that heavily analyze a fictional character, so it's not like their opinion matters.
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Jeezum Crow -- Sharkey @ 12:44 am
Some of you guys are so whiney. First off, this layout won't be sticking around. It's called a "gag" folks, look into it. Secondly, what the fuck is with people bitching that we took part in the fun? "Duh... you guys are hit mongers... this was a stupid ploy..." Shut the fuck up, beeyotch, I didn't ask for your stupid-ass opinion on the matter. This was a fun way for some of the E/N'ers to get back together for a little fun. Sheesh, try to have a little fun and the asswipes get all weepy. To everyone who saw the humor in this, my currently drunk ass loves ya.
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| Wednesday, September 06, 2000 |
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No tolerance for layout thieves -- Sharkey @ 6:08 pm
So, last week I decide to share a peek of my new layout idea with Fallen Angel, and when I'm not looking, he swipes the MoFo. Then, Theseus steals it from him, and Solo steals it from Theseus. Bastards, the lot've them. So, being the badasses that we are, you get the new layout a bit early. And all other sites who steal my shit are subject to death by rabid monkeys and hot pokers. Boo-Yah.
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Amazon prices going haywire -- Sharkey @ 3:13 pm
 Looks like Amazon has been screwing around with their prices on DVDs, in a "test" of the navigation and pricing system. Depending on your browser, you may see different prices than other people: For example, at 2:40 p.m. today, a search for the Planet of the Apes DVD on the Amazon site that Computerworld conducted using a Netscape Web browser turned up a quoted price of $64.99 -- 35% off the original price of $99.98, according to the online retailer. But several seconds later, a similar search performed with Microsoft Corp.'s Internet Explorer browser resulted in a price of $74.99 for the same product. Those damn, dirty apes! Uh, I mean.. Wait a minute. I'm going to cancel all my DVD orders and check the prices in Netscrape. Bastards ain't gonna gouge me on my Real Genius DVD.
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Not the East side, not the West side... -- Sharkey @ 1:32 pm
I'm talkin' about the Dark Side mothafuckaz! WWMarcWW sent me a link to this flash Star Wars parody. If you wanna hear Vader rap, check it out.
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I love the smell of links in the morning -- Sharkey @ 11:16 am
First off, I'd like to thank the guys at Crackerjap for the gleaming review. And if you haven't checked out their comic strip, you're sorely missing out. And secondly, seems that we got linked by Dark Horizons because of the Cap'ns news scoop the other day. They obviously have much faith in us, since they didn't actually post the news, just linked to us. Heh, next thing you know, Harry Knowles will be talking about the mighty MoFo army. Heh, right after I send the guerilla chimp squad to defecate on his gargantuan ass, that is. And lastly, you should all check out Webmaster War III. It's a Simpsons fan site that is taking a stand against Fox's poor practices when it comes to fan sites. Be sure and sign the letter so that your voice gets heard as well. And just to show my support, check out this Simpsons .wav of Homer taunting me. Take that, commies.
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Slice of the Day -- Sharkey @ 9:50 am
This is a reader submitted gallery, but I had to put this sucker up. It's just too damn good. In fact, I've been sitting on three or four user submitted galleries that were great, I should probably upload those as well. Anyway, you can thank Dark Sorcerer for this amazing (repeat, amazing) gallery of Kaoru:
Click for the gallery
Be sure to watch out for the spicy pics, they're running rampant in that gallery. Oh, and you'll notice the little parental warning device. Cute, eh? Pffft. Anyway, I have absolutely no information on this girl, and it's buggin' the crap outta me, so if you have any, send it to me. You have our gratitude.
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| Tuesday, September 05, 2000 |
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The first rule of Thumb Club is... -- Sharkey @ 3:34 pm
I can't beleive I'd never heard about this before. [ Thumb Club ]
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Skank Furby toys on the loose -- Sharkey @ 2:28 pm
Damn those Furby Hookers, always gettin' into trouble. Anyway, seems that a bunch of parents are outraged that their children's Furbys' speech "sounds like dirty talk".  When its stomach is squeezed, the yellow-and-purple version of Furby Buddy says, "Hug me," according to its maker, Tiger Electronics Ltd. of Vernon Hills. Some parents say the toy isn't saying "hug," but a vulgar word for sex."That is not 'Hug me.' I'm sorry," said Mary Ann Martin, of Swansea, S.C., who now has the toy stuffed in the back of a closet and has decided against giving it to her grandson.
*Sigh* You remember back in the day, when your toys could've killed you? Man, those were the days. Rocket firing jetpacks and whatnot, you'd be lucky to make it to five years old with some of the stuff you could shove in your mouth. Then we got parental groups, protecting the stupid children as well, taking natural selection out of the picture. But suddenly, I notice the focus shifting away from protecting the kids from danger, and towards shielding them from the horrors that occur in daily human life. We're finally getting our Boba Fett figure with the firing rocket pack, just waiting for a child to ingest, but dammit, that Furby's slurring his words! We'd better get to the bottom of this! Bastards.
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Public Service Announcement -- Sharkey @ 1:00 pm
In case you hadn't heard...  Apparently we're not as cool as we used to be. :P
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Crappitty Crap-Crap -- Sharkey @ 10:49 am
So I guess you're wondering where the Hell everybody was yesterday. Me, I was wrecked yesterday. See, Peter is leaving the state this week, so we decided to have a last round of golf with him at a nice course. So me, Bolt Boy, Peter, and our buddy Mark woke up early yesterday morning, and headed over to Oak Creek for 18 holes. Now, this is the most expensive course we've played together. 95 bucks a head, so you know this place has got to be swank. Yeah, I can hear it. All the 14 year olds (no offense, Mooch) are screaming "Golf sux0rs, how can you pay so much to play such a shitty game". To which I reply, "Shut the fuck up, chumpy, I didn't ask yo damn opinion!". So anyway, there we are, ten in the morning on Labor Day, ready for a nice round of golf. But I guess, (even though we always remember) we just forgot about another factor. Our friend, the Sun. And finishing a long course like Oak Creek can take you anywhere from 5½ - 6 hours. It wasn't really until the 18th tee that I realized, "Hmm... It's a little warm out in this MoFo... maybe sunblock would've been a good idea." Then I start getting a little sluggish. Like if you fall asleep at the beach and get sunburned, you wake up and your lips are burned, your skin is all red and you are tired as a two dollar whore. So we finish up, they take our clubs out to the front, and I notice the effects setting in. A nice little case of sunstroke. I get my ass home, hoping to catch a cold shower before we head out for some fun. Oh no friends, not this time I'm afraid. My body sees the bed, my body shuts the Hell down. Can't do nothin' about it at this point. I couldn't even get any rest, I was so fucked up. My body was heating the bed up so much, I was tossing and turning for hours trying to get in a nice nap. No such luck. I got up about 8PM, feeling worse than when I got in. Then Bolt Boy calls and asks if I'm down for going to Disneyland. Pfft, at this point I didn't even feel like getting up to get some aspirin. Luckily, the effects of the Sun wore off when alcohol was introduced to the equation. The plans changed, and we went to go see Original Kings of Comedy late in the evening. I won't be reviewing this one in movies because it really wasn't a movie. Don't get me wrong, there was some funny (and stupid) shit in it, but a comedy show in the theatre was sort of strange. Maybe it would've been better as an HBO special or something. Good thing we didn't have to pay to see it, or I might've been a little upset. So that's my excuse for not posting yesterday. Anyone else on staff care to cough up one? I'm sure you all had something interesting going on yesterday, let's hear about it. Same with you readers, that's what the comments are for, sweetcheeks. Meantime, I'm going down to the break room to stand in front of the damn freezer for a little while.
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| Sunday, September 03, 2000 |
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New Batman Movie starring ... Superman? -- Captain Terror @ 11:01 pm
This is huge news and the Capster is about to break it wide open right hear on BAMF. Most of you probably heard the other day that they are going to be doing a new Batman flick, possibly with Brad Pitt as a new, younger batman. (Not sure yet if I like that idea) Well anyway, last night I end up at this swank Hollywood type party because my Uncle's girlfriend is a big wig at Warner Bros., and we end up talking to someone (as much as I want to, I can't say who, but lets just say he's really reliable) and he spills the beans about the upcoming Batman movie. It looks like the caped crusader will be teaming up with none other than Superman on his next outing. And it gets better, it looks like Dean Cain has already inked the deal as Superman. And it gets even better. Denny O'neil, the writer of Shadow of the Bat and the first episode of Batman the animated series, has inked the script, so you know it will be true to the original. No word as yet if Chris O'donnel will reprise as Robin or not. But you heard it here first. It isn't even suppose to go public for another 2 weeks!!
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Why the world sucks -- Jeff @ 10:09 pm
Well, my vacation just got ruined. It seems my backyard boys the Titans pulled a stack of stupid shit and lost their game to Buffalo. Granted, the Bills were pushing some mean defense down the Titans' throats, but the boys in blue just couldn't catch anything that would have actually mattered in the scheme of things. Wycheck missed a perfect catch in the endzone, Eddie George dropped a wide-open pass that bounced off his chest. I know he's a running back and all, but damn! I could of caught that thing if my helmet was on backwards and I was a quadraplegic. And then another wide receiver missed it in the endzone. I don't even care to remeber his name. We'll just call him "Loser" from here on out, shall we?However, Javon Kearse and Co. dropped the funk bomb on Buffalo's QB about six times (who, btw, played an excellent game. Too bad he tore up his foot at the end of the game. Actually, that makes me happy). Some of the best tackles in the game came from Titans wrapping up Johnson and throwing him down on the ground. And the screwups. Jeff Fisher made some horrible calls, which culminated in the horrible idea of trying a 60-yard field goal attempt with a horrible kicker. They should have just went bucknuts and thrown a Hail Mary to Carl Pickens. But alas, I ain't calling the shots. Maybe they'll demote their offensive director and get me in there - then we'd be seeing some real booyahs on the field. Never mind that I have no experience and can barely tell the difference between x's and o's on those chalkboards they cart out during halftime. Which also explains my inability to win at tic-tac-toe. So screw you, Buffalo. And to all you jerks living in Buffalo - remember how you watched the playoffs from your tv's instead of the field last year. It's gonna be the same way this time around, pals. So just go ahead and find a comfy chair, because you're gonna be sitting in it a looong time. ...as soon as the Titans get their heads out of their asses and start catching some footballs.
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Pardon the pun, but... -- Sharkey @ 9:33 pm
[ World's biggest pie feeds 50,000 ]Wow. Looks like my ex-girlfriend is really getting around.
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An extremely honest man -- Lucky @ 2:16 am
well, at least he can spell...
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| Saturday, September 02, 2000 |
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Homey don't play dat. -- Sharkey @ 10:16 pm
Now you know I can't let a damn day go by without one damn post. Not one, aside from this one. Not in Rants, Music, nowhere. There's somwhere near twenty-five people with various posting abilities, and not one damn post. That's alright guys, you still have my love. Except Mabs. Bitch :PI got all kinds of sweet shit to upload for you guys, maybe it'll help tide you over for the long weekend. New painful vids and slices, thanks to some of you MoFo loyalists, as well as new additions (ahem, spicy additions) to the existing galleries thanks to my homey Theseus. Oh, and congrats to Solo for getting his ass in gear and getting his site back up and running. Shit, now all you gotta do is get G and Roosh to get their shit together, and the old E/N crew will be back on the scene. And the fact that I refer to it as a "scene" is so sad I think I'm gonna go cry. Or get drunk with my buddies, whichever one has Jack Daniel's involved. Anyway, if you feel so inclined, stop by Sliceoftheday.com. We updated the main page with all the new galleries (52 in all). I'd estimate that at about 3200+ pics. That's a lotta pie for a site that isn't even open yet. But don't worry, we're working on it as we speak.
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| Friday, September 01, 2000 |
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Call me Uncle Dutchie. -- Dutch @ 7:21 pm
I'd like to invite you all to my favorite site on the Net, the Neo Nazi Pedophiles Correspondance Page! I thought it was gone, but have found it again, over a year after we first lost touch, and I am ecstatic.
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News that'll make you hold your crotch in pain -- Sharkey @ 3:48 pm
Ooh.... this one hurts to read, just so all you males out there know. But this one you've just gotta hear about. Some supid jackass, celebrating his approaching release from prison, injected his "lil' prisoner" with petroleum jelly for stamina. Oh sweet Christmas...Prison officers say the man injected himself six times causing his penis to grow to a length of 20 centimetres and a width of 9 centimetres but his experiments were noticed when he collapsed in pain. Ow, ow, ow... my junk hurts just thinking about this. Thanks to Adam for sharing this painful tidbit.
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Visions of the near future -- Dutch @ 2:27 pm
As you read this, keep in mind that I have powerful psychic abilities, to rival the world's most famous modern day prophets. These details may seem insignificant, but being that they provide a glimpse into a future that will definately take place, they are of some value.First, the Matrix, high speed network of the future which will replace the Net, will also replace television. There will still be a tv set in every home, but it will be plugged directly into the network. The trend in popular music will be towards experimental electronic sounds/attitude, of the type today only seen by a small minority. You will watch music videos served from around the globe on your "network viewer." The Bush-Gore election will be a mainstay of pop culture, particularly for people of your generation. Some quotes in particular which have not yet been spoken will be remembered, as in Nixon's, "I am not a crook." It was not revealed to me what will happen, but I imagine it will be the death of American politics, a sort of aftershock from the Kennedy-Nixon election which first set off the catastrophe. As televisions become network viewers, websites will become video productions. There will be text and hyperlinking, but realtime video will become as common as tables in web design. One website I saw in the dream, the domain name I will not reveal, as I do not wish to tamper with the future, had an avant garde film made from archived news footage as a background. These visions were given to me in a dream, one which seemed quite ordinary until I realized it took place in the future and wrote down the details I could remember. Stay tuned for updates on the future here.
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MP3 of the moment -- Sharkey @ 11:28 am
Yeah, I know, we serve all the sweet music mp3s you can handle over in Music, but this ain't music. If any of you have HBO, you may have noticed David Chappelle and his comedy special, Killin' Them Softly. I downloaded the whole damn thing yesterday, which makes work that little bit easier. Now I'll help some of you out. David Chappelle - Fried Chicken.mp3 (2.3MB) Hilarious stuff, still not the best part of the show, but that's the great thing about Dave. His worst bits are funnier than most other comedians best. He's one guy that I'd really love to see live. And if you want the whole show, put "David Chappelle" into Napster, and get the whole shebang. Worth the 52 meg download.
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Sex Plot goes awry -- Sharkey @ 10:23 am
[ Felon, 40, Accused Of Sex Plot ] (Thanks Peaches)All I've got to say is, when some psycho's are after a little forbidden pie, they go balls to the wall. And they usually pick really stupid girls.
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Slice of the day -- Sharkey @ 1:27 am
So, I'm sure a lot of you are looking forward to Whipped, right? No, not for it's comedic value, but for one phenominal, stupendous reason. We call that reason Amanda Peet. And thanks to Mabs, she's your slice of the day:
Click for the gallery
You know what else is going to please us all about Whipped? The fact that they had to cut a minute and a half of her to make it non-NC17. Now, I know you think I'm nuts, that we'd all love to see that extra footage, but think of it this way. First, we get an R rating that just barely squeaks by the censors. And second, we got a great uncut DVD comin' to us. Patience is a virtue, my friends. And watch out for that second page, it's spicy...
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