Wiilicious
Sony: Wii Is A “Novelty”… PS3 Will Reign
OK… so I know that marketing types have to hype the machine that pays the bills which keep goats blood flowing through those dust and brimstone-filled veins that course throughout their soulless corporeal bodies. Thats a given that was instilled upon us in kindergarten.
But I cannot stress to you enough the simple facts of the situation. I am a visual being. I am quite succeptable to flashy lights, crisp text, and large polygon counts. Aside from Vegas, the PS3 is pretty much my preferred bet for seeing some voluptuous parts of the female anatomy in a high definition setting. However, I am faced with a hinderance every time I step into a Best Buy, Target, Gamestop, or any other retail chain that effectively has me by the short and curlies. And that hinderance, my friends, is the Wii.
I have played it. For many hours on end. And that was just Wii fucking Sports for cryin’ out loud, I barely had a chance to get my lazy digits around Zelda or any other official title. And that didn’t fucking matter, because all I could think was “Gee… my girlfriend would actually play and enjoy this… OH FUCK ME, THAT WAS A STRIKE NOT A SPLIT YOU FUCKING STUPID BOWLING GAME!”
I will give you some opposing factual data, just to establish a reasonable hypothesis. You see, whenever I approach a PS3, I think immediately that the graphics are wonderful, the hi-def visuals quite appealing, and the gameplay… fucking ridiculously boring. I actually told some 13 year old kid in an EB Games to “shut his fucking undeserved oxygen hole” for stating his preference of the PS3 (which was playing that God-awful Rally-X successor) over the Wii, due to the inferior graphics.
Yes, he argued. Yes, he was quite the little pompous prick. But being that I am smarter than… well, all of you, in addition to my correctness in the situation, he was persuaded to see my point of view. Why? Because I pointed out the obvious superior factor of every single Wii console out there:
If your dorky, Final Fantasy loving ass is capable of coercing a woman into bed with you, she might actually have some Goddamned fun with the Wii.
Wii = Less Nagging = Possibly More Sex (really, if less nagging is possible then who gives a shit?)
I hope you’ve learned something today, because I (drunkedly) typed a lot of shit while my girlfriend sleeps in the other room and I play Final Fantasy XII, hoping that I can nab a Wii on Sunday. Sleep tight.
pfftYou sound like a whipped little bitch. Who gives a shit if the g/f doesnt like it, theres lots of shit i dont like about my g/f deal I deal with it without whining just as she deals with my video games. So yeah, if you want to play your kiddy cartoony adventures-of-link kindergarten crap on your wii, go nuts. I’m gonna go blow some heads off with my PS3.
HAHAHAHAJason420 has apparently not played the PS3 yet. Guess what bub, your in for a hell of a surprise. I work for a Game Dev Company in SoCal, and we have several PS3s and Wiis. The PS3 are never fucking used. Everyone wants to play a Wii because it is purely fun. Oh, and another thing, this is what will surprise you. I won’t give too many details, but some really smart engineers just proved about 2 weeks ago, that the PS3 is truelly incapable of outperforming the X360 graphically. SURPRISE! Sure, it has some kick as processing power, but there is a major hardware bug in the graphics hardware, and without a full recall, PS3s will never outperform the X360, but don’t tell anyone. Just wait for microsoft to get their hands on this fun piece of information
WellWhipped or not, the man has his priorities straight. You have to respect the Wii. If nothing else, Nintendo has finally given us proper means to achieve that long-time gamer dream: getting hot girls to play with us.
YepI’ve honestly had two dates with some girl and I’ve used the Wii on both occasions. It’s an ice breaker, brings out some touching, and much laughter. Wii reigns supreme.
Fuck Sony, my money is on the Wii….if my wife would ever let me spend the money, that is.
hehI bought the Wii for the sole purpose of playing with the GF… she loves it. so does her entire fucking family, infact theyre \”borrowing\” it right now and i cant get it back. fucking bullshit, im the one who stood in line for 3 hours
3 Hours?Try 15. Was rough.
hell yeah wiiwii is the dogs bollocks lads. any1 who thinks overwise is livin in the past!!!I’m takin my wii to a party on saturday. hell way I see it, it’ll get the ladies goin and later(and hopefully drunker) ill show them how to use the mii
Fuck the WiiThe hardware and the controller looks decent enough, but systems live and die by their games, and short of Zelda, I don’t see a single game I would give a damn about coming out for the Wii. I’m sick of this bullshit Nintendo is trying to pass off as \”games\” lately. IQ tests, mini-game collections, dog simulators, lawyer simulators, and some crazy hybrid of the Sims and a furry’s wet dreams.
No, Fuck YouWii Sports alone is enough to make me buy the fucker, and it comes with the system for free.
#####is a DHTML-based, abstract, multiplayer strategy game based on the board game Acquire. Like most great strategy games of its kind, Get Hostile packs an enormous amount of complexity into surprisingly few rules. The object is simple: finish with the most money. However, as discussed in the analysis of the game, there are many ways to do this, and not every strategy fits every game. Get Hostile is a no-frills implementation of the original board game—there are no avatars or even any real graphics, and the only sound offered is an optional beep to let you know when it is your turn. And why should there be? This is a purist’s strategy game. Essentially, the game consists of a blank grid, onto which can be placed tiles. When two tiles connect, a company is formed and the founder gets one bonus stock in the company. When two companies are connected by a tile, they merge and the larger company takes over the smaller one. The stockholders of the smaller company have the option to sell their stock, trade it in 2 for 1 for stock in the parent company, or keep it in case the company is reformed in the future. As companies grow in size, their stock becomes worth more.However, the real meat of the strategy doesn’t come in the form of “buy low, sell high.” When a company is taken over, its top two stockholders receive cash bonuses equal to 5 and 10 times the current price of stock. Thus it is often more lucrative to put yourself in position to get these bonuses, especially if it only takes a few stock to become the top holder. The rules are few but can sometimes be complex. They are available to peruse on the website—just click HELP. Also available on the help page is a movie walkthrough which explains all of the essential plays of the game, as well as a few basic strategies. Once you’ve watched that, you’re ready to play. I recommend starting with the tutorial—it’s essentially the real thing, except you get some helpful hints. Once you’ve mastered the basics (and it really isn’t that hard) you can register or login as a guest and join a game or start your own. Analysis: As mentioned before, the bonuses for the top two shareholders really drive the strategy of Get Hostile. A small investment in a company that is about to be taken over can pay large returns. However, all companies are liquidated at the end of the game, so being the top dog in the largest company will pay off in the long run. Your strategy will change depending on what sort of growth the companies go through—a game in which one giant company just swallows up all of its competitors will be very different than a game in which several medium-sized companies duke it out.Once you play a few games, you’ll start to realize that a major part of the strategy is whether to place your money in stocks or keep it in cash. For the most part, it’s best to buy as much stock as possible—the price never decreases, so you’ll always at least gain back what you invested. However, sometimes you can get stuck with all of your money tied up in stock, with no freedom to maneuver yourself into one of those coveted top positions. It will take you a few games to see how the system really works—this can be done easily by playing a game or five against just computer players. Even then, it will probably take many more games to become reasonably skilled. The website itself can be a bit confusing at times. The HELP screen goes a long way in explaining things that are non-intuitive, but some things—such as where each of your playable tiles are—you’ll just have to get used to. Also, the chart listing all the various stock prices is not in view during the game, although it is readily available via mouse.Minor usability issues aside, Get Hostile is a very good implementation of a classic strategy game, and can provide a good changeup for those of us playing hours of kdice. Click.
I make PS3s in the toiletYou don’t see a game worth a damn coming out for the Wii?So, the fact that all but two of the PS3’s launch games are ALREADY ON OTHER CONSOLES doesn’t bother you?Never will you find a person so willing to believe anything you tell them then you will in a Sony fanbot.
“games”Those things that they pass of as \”games\” makes them assloads of cash.
Pay attentionI never said Sony’s game lineup was any good either? All I said was that I’m sick of the non-game crap Nintendo has been shitting out lately. I played Wii Sports, and it’s the same motion-sensor gimmick minigames I played (and got sick of) at Dave and Busters back in 2001.
mehYou may not like it, but I sure as fuck do. And I practically lived at D&Bs from 2002-2004. Nothing compares to the party aspect of this system
Wii is like god, only smaller and white.First off:PS3: $600360: $400Wii: $250Hmmmm.I’ve said it before, the graphics may not be the \”omg next gen fuck my TV\”, but the gameplay is unbeatable. My entire group of friends asks that I bring the Wii pretty much where ever I go so we can bust out some bowling or tennis. Fucking great time. Girls love it, which doesn’t hurt.It’s portable as FUCK. So little! I picked up a cheap laptop backpack and everything fits in there perfectly. Wii, cables, stand, controls, games, game cube controls. I mean, damn! I had a PS3 in my hands for all of 27 hours, and it was huge and clunky. 360 is even more portable than that hog. Plus, a 600 dollar system isn’t leaving my fucking house, period. That shit would be bolted down!Fuck you guys, Sony. I love pretty much all of your products but I will be getting a 360 to go with my Wii LONG before your overpriced PS3.
you want the wii experience?If you want the wii experience, go get the cardboard roll from a roll of gift wrap or paper towel, and wave it around in the air, pretending you are a ninja/golfer/tennis player. Or you can point it at stuff and make shooting noises.That is the wii. It is literally no different than a kindergartner’s imagination. Why would I pay $250 for that?
hah!Well that Kindergartner’s Imagination is out-selling PS3 by the assload. Cheers mate.
Re: Wii experienceWhy? Because that $250 toilet paper tube is going to net you a whole lot more fun than any piece of shit Microsoft can spew forth. You want a 360? Buy a PC. You want a PS3? Buy a 360. It’s the holiday season and there’s exactly SHIT out for Sony titles right now. Big mistake, guys….huge mistake. As for me, I’ll take the paper towel tube and sign my name on the motherfucker as long as it brings the fun-factor. You can keep your fucking HD graphics….let me know when some games come out that might make use of them.
PS3 vs 360Now, I’m not 100% sure on this, but based on what I’ve heard, the PS3–while loaded with RAM and processor speed and all that chewy goodness–has a shitty graphics card that has like half the capability of the 360’s.That translates into great potential for games, with all their graphics toned down so the Piece-of-Shit-3 doesn’t go boom. Like fitting a square block through a round hole.Meanwhile, 360′ll be kicking out games that look gorgeous, even without the two nifty cell processors. Sort of like now, how the same game looks so much better on Xbox then it does on PS2, simply because of overall system potential.
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Yup Lame Graphics CardThere are a few things to note about the PS3 hardware wise. First, Cell technology is truelly amazing. Second, any devleoper can use that cell technology to do some pretty amazing things. Third, Sony fucked up on everything else. Technically speaking the PS3 has a very small ammount of memory compared to the 360. Right off the bat, the 256MB looses about 64MB for the PS3 Kernel….. yes 64MB, no idea what the hell they are using that for. After that, we are left with 192MB, which is actually shared between two different sets of cores, meaning that at no time can we have full access to that memory. Then we get into the GPU, one big fuck up all the way across, as I said earlier. Yes, the PS3 is capable of \”more\” than the 360, but graphics wise, it does not compare. Then of course you add on the fact that developers don’t want anything to do with the PS3, and publishers are just as annoyed, Sony has a pretty big problem.
Nintendo 4 Life, yoIn my opinion, Nintendo is the greatest company in the business. They try and push the gaming industry forward, constantly bringing in new innovations and ideas. The DS’s touch screen…the Wii’s motion sensor remote.Behind them is Microsoft. New to the console business, yes, but they’re backed by a huge conglomerate that can support powerful new consoles and help bring gaming to new levels.Then there’s Sony, that can steal it all and dryhump their pretty cell processors while calling the other companies names.
andrea bowen gallery…
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