Did you get my good side?
Any news, comments, pie? Send it
| Wednesday, June 30, 1999 |
Superman on the move -- Mox @ 3:33 pm
Variety reported today that Warner Brothers finally found a writer for their Superman project. It's not Cameron but Bill Wisher - a guy who helped out Cameron with T2 and helped Michael Chrichton with the upcoming 13th Warrior. Burton's still out - Cage is still in.
I have a feeling that by the time this movie gets made BOTH of our super-men will be in wheelchairs.
Howdy Booty Time? -- Sharkey @ 2:53 pm
Thanks to Supermang for this one. What's the top kids show in Brazil right now? A hot dominatrix with a whip, that's what. Read the story. This chick has her own show, and brings adolescent boys onstage for spankings and whatnot. We don't even have shows that good for adults here! Oh, and if you want to know what this dominating slice looks like, go to her site.
Did you get my good side?
Mox in the house -- Mox @ 1:25 pm
Well, it's me. I'm deciding to finally get my ass in gear and introduce myself. I feel what better opportunity than to do it with a story of people doing stupid shit - kind of like what you all have read about me. Anyway, here it is:
In FRANCE, Jacques LeFevrier left nothing to chance when he decidedto commit suicide. He stood at the top of a tall cliff and tied a noose around his neck. He tied the other end of the rope to a large rock. He drank some poison and set fire to his clothes. He even tried to shoot himself at the last moment. He jumped and fired the pistol. The bullet missed him completely and cut through the rope above him. Free of the threat of hanging, he plunged into the sea. The sudden dunking extinguished the flames and made him vomit the poison. He was dragged out of the water by a kind fisherman and was taken to a hospital, where he died of hypothermia.
I haven't killed myself yet - but since this guy did, he now falls into the category of DAMF - figure it out.
Site Stuff -- Sharkey @ 6:01 am
OK, everyone download this sound clip of Big Jim screaming to the BadassMoFo theme song. What are you waiting for? NOW! That guy is a fuckin' trip. Mox made my CD. We're gonna edit that sum'bitch up right quick. I don't know if I should put up an MP3 of just the guitar solo or not. Whatever the case, you'll be hearing it soon.
Oh yeah, removed Schlyer's In Your Ear from the sidebar, because he said he quit. The instant he comes back, the link comes back. Why must the good sites shut down?
Hi everyone -- Gary Coleman @ 1:26 am
Wow, I've been away for awhile, and it looks like bamf got some new writers while I was away. I've been working alot lately. Hope everyone noticed the X-Show (shameless plug). I'm going to be on a few more shows, but I'm not allowed to talk about them just yet. Hopefully it won't infringe on so much of my time that I can't write more articles.
Just wanted to write that on my way home (anyone jokes about me being too short to drive is a dead motherfucker), I got the window open, "Nookie" is cranked up on the radio, and I'm doing about 85. This sled is going fucking 20 in front of me, so I merge to the right to pass. The motherfucker swerves in front of me and doesn't fucking signal! Son of a bitch cut me off and made me slam on the damn brakes. So I cruise up next to him, and show flip him the bird. Next thing I know that asshole is following me, flashing his damn brights. I let off the gas and pull up on the emergency brake and the idiot almost slams into me. Then he gets up next to me and starts yelling for me to pull over. I whip out my badge and show it to that jackass. He slams on his breaks and turns at the next light. Showed that fucker. If I didn't have to shit so bad I would've gotten out and beat his ass. Hopefully I'll have an article done before the end of the week. Oh, and thanks for all the e-mails.
| Tuesday, June 29, 1999 |
It's revolution BABY! -- Sharkey @ 2:51 pm
While posting that story about Yahoo! and their evils, I was talking to Roosh and we decided it's time to revolt. From this point on, no more Yahoo! and no more GeoCities. Their nefarious business practices have gone on long enough! We're starting up an underground resistance page over on Roosh Net, and we want everyone to join in the fight against evil! No more visiting Yahoo! and no more signing up with Geoshitties! We plead to anyone on Geoshitties servers to move your site to Xoom, personal webspace, or any other suitable spot. It's a revolution kids, time to smash big brother.
Yahoo = your owner. Literally. -- Sharkey @ 2:38 pm
Geez, is there no limit to the scumminess of Yahoo! and Geoshitties? Here is an article on how Yahoo's new service contract with Geoshitties users lays claim to all content on the servers. Which means if you are on Geoshitties, Yahoo! owns all of your images, web pages, and intellectual property on their servers. And according to the article, there's no chance for you to get it back, because even if you want to move your stuff into other webspace, you must sign an agreement that all your stuff belongs to them. What a bunch of scumbags. I doubt they'll enforce any of this though, all those users would revolt.
Speedy -- Sharkey @ 3:13 am
Wow, that was quick. I was checking the site just before I left for my house, and figured I'd post about it when I got here. Twenty minutes later, you guys have got it covered. Nice. But please, yes, we're not about the fuckin' doom 'n' gloom. We're about the bad and ass. We're about the dutch 'n' apple. We're about the nookie...and....more nookie. Ah, whatever. The point has been made, I doubt the topic will need to be brought up again.
| Monday, June 28, 1999 |
Heh -- Sharkey @ 11:34 pm
Good to see that you're making friends doug. Meanwhile, I've just read the entire Bastard Operator From Hell series, which was so graciously pointed out to me by G over at Ramblings, which I guess he got off Darker Side of Nuintari. Now I feel like deleting some user profiles, then calling them and getting them to put a fork in the light socket. Wow, anger level up, value of human life down. I think I'll go hit the can and get a soda.
Too much free time -- Sharkey @ 8:57 pm
Good Lord! I was just e-mailed a link to an asciimation movie of Jar-Jar's death. Go there, enjoy, and then marvel at his two year+ project of asciimating Episode 4. TWO YEARS!!! And I don't think he's even halfway done! This is probably a guy who has never touched a woman in his life. No, asciimation women do not count.
Real World Hawaii -- Bud @ 6:57 pm
I have caught the first two episodes of the new Real World and I am very happy so far. They have managed to fill all of thier racial quotas while still keeping the cast intresting. I love the naked women running around all over the place, but, I still have a problem with the show. No fat people. I don't think you can have a "real world" with out fat people. So if any of our readers work for MTV can you please get some fat people to put on the screen for the rest of america to relate with. After all the counry is fatter than it has ever been in history. Fat asses are funny.
True, maybe they should make the show nothing but hot chicks and fat guys. Course, you could always have a bunch of regular people who argue about bills, cleanliness and everyone's significant others, but that would be too much like the real world, depressing. Stick to the naked chicks. -- Sharkey
Fun Stuff -- Sharkey @ 4:08 pm
New Top 7 lists courtesy of Big Jim in the FunStuff section. Go take a look. Because he's Big Jim, I even let him do one related to Trek. Hope Mox brings the BadassMoFo theme song with him, then I'll let you guys have a taste of the badassness.
*Whew* -- Sharkey @ 3:21 am
That kicked so much ass. That song fuckin' rules, and Big Jim screaming rules. That guy had us in hysterics all night. This song is going to be amazing. Stay tuned.
BADASSMOFO BADASSMOFO! -- Sharkey @ 1:36 am
Kick ass. Right now Big Jim (those Top 7 lists in the Funstuff section) is tuning up his guitar, and Mox is prepping the mic. It's all about the BadassMoFo theme song baby. That tune kicks ass. We're gonna capture some video, record the song, gets some bitchin' clips of Big Jim screamin', and then I'm gonna whip up the whole shebang in Flash. Hopefully we can stick a sound clip up soon for your listening pleasure. HEAVY METAL!!!!! LETS FUCKIN' ROCK!!!
| Sunday, June 27, 1999 |
Points to Ponder -- Mr Mabs @ 10:33 pm
Why won't doug shut the fuck up? Does anyone who reads our site actually believe that doug has a girlfriend that reads his e-mail, or that he has a girlfriend period? A six-pack, a Playboy, and a mess in your hand afterwards does not count. And to Dr. Evil from Roosh, get your head outta your ass and finally realize that the NHL is finally being dominated by non-Canadian players. Oh, I mean no harm to Dr. Evil, I'm just pissed that I'm at work. On that note, here's a thought. It's amazing what a credit card and plastic surgery can do to a woman.
Random thought of the moment: Fuckin' Canadians, eh?
Larry H. Parker got me.... -- Mr Mabs @ 10:04 pm
So, Im fucked up last night, and I see a commercial for TVLawyer.com that says that for $79.99 a month you can have your own lawyer on retainer, just so that you can say that you have a lawyer. They promise that after paying this monthly retainer fee, you get discounted rates. These guys make Larry H. Parker and his 91% success rate start to look real-respectable-like. Of course, he got that guy in the wheelchair $2.1 million.
Game Review -- Sharkey @ 6:04 pm
Peter Ramins (InThrees) sent in this game review for Need for Speed: High Stakes. Enjoy.
My buddy Jim and I were on a mission. After watching Big Daddy (rule! Go see it now!) we decided to head to walmart (hey, it was after 9pm, all the respectable stores were closed) to get MechWarrior 3 and go play on his network.Oh, and Peter had a few comment to make about doug, but hey, address them to him. CC the complaints to me if you want me specifically to hear them. And don't whine dammit! Any whining will result in me banning your iP from the site. Good review though, Peter(who usually sends me cool shit). And if you're looking for other bitchin' games to play, I reccomend Mechwarrior 3, and Carmageddon 2(sweeet).
I decided to stay in the car, since some popcorn from the aforementioned movie, added to some ominous intestinal rumbling made me decide that walking around was tempting fate.
Walmart wasn't cool enough to have MW3, but they did have NFS: High Stakes, so they saved some face.
We went home, and Jim had a lot of trouble getting the game to sync with his Obsidian X-24 dual voodoo II. The manual even says Voodoo II owners may experience difficulty with auto-detection of their cards, so I guess an Obsidian kinda doubles the odds for trouble. After a driver change and numerous reboots, he finally settled on disabling SLI and using only one of the dual Voodoo II's, and we were off.
Right from the start up, when the intro movie played, the game showed some BAD ASS sweetness. Jim and I spent countless hours playing NFS III's hot pursuit mode, so we were right into it on High Stakes, and let me tell you, the new tracks are awesome. For the most part, the new tracks are a lot faster - limited reaction time plus improved AI plus interesting things like concrete barriers add up to some fun.
After evading the cops on the first 8 tracks, we decided to check out the career mode to unlock some more tracks - it starts out deceptively easy, if you're played NFS III you'll have no problems with the BMQ Z3 Roadster. The premise behind career mode is to race circuits, win money, and upgrade and/or replace your car to a newer, doper, hotter ride.
Some of the cars of note in High Stakes include the Corvette C5, Chevy Camaro, Pontiac Firebird, BMW Z3, BMW M5, McLaren F1, Porsche 911 Turbo (my personal favorite), Mercedes CLK GTR, and others.
All in all, as impressed as I was with NFS III (NFS HS is *essentially* just a huge extension of the same engine, but with marked improvements) this game is so much better on so many levels. Included now is car damage, affecting performance and looks of the cars, improved police/opponent AI, new tracks, and new music. Final review? It's on, baby.
Deja Vu.... -- Sharkey @ 5:52 pm
Heh, I flip to MTV today and I see a familiar face. They were doing this Under the Radio Indie Bands show hosted by Matt Pinfield, and a video by the Teen Heroes(local band) comes on, for the song Radio Listener. I saw that video for the first time like a year ago when Lars(the crazed fan in the video) showed it to me and my buddies. That guy Lars is the craziest motherfucker I ever met. And that was seriously one of the greatest videos I have ever seen(because of Lars), but MTV raped it and cut off the beginning and the end, which are the best fucking parts. It's really sad, because everyone would fucking love that video with the beginning and end on it. It was a trip to see Lars on MTV though.
Also, that new Road Rules show came on, and some friends who saw it told me that there was a girl on the show from my town. I finally saw it today, and I fucking know who she is, but I can't place where I know her from. It's gonna drive me nuts. She's hot though. I probably went to school with her.
Most of those indie videos blew BTW, and the new cast of Road Rules sucks my ass.
BAH! -- Sharkey @ 3:46 am
I need to put up a damn list of musicians who need to stop. People like Cher. Good Lord, she's upsetting. Every time I ever hear that Believe song I feel like one of the people in Scanners just before their heads explode. She needs to take her revolting, stretch-marked, cosmetically enhanced ass and sit in a dark corner of Has-Been Land. And you know what? Madonna can stop too. I've had about enough of her and her "slut-mom" routine. Oh, and this is like the third time I've had to ban Everlast from making music. How that whiny asshole keeps sneaking back in is beyond me. News flash jackhole, House of Pain broke up, we got over it, stop bitching.
And the list goes on....
| Saturday, June 26, 1999 |
Candy -- Bud @ 8:32 pm
My old lady purchaced a box of Tootsie Caramel Apple Pops and I think I am in love. I advise all of you to go out to the grocery store and pick some up. you will be happy. Oh, and by the way Jenna rules.
Man, I fuckin' love those things. I would like to shake the hand of the man or woman who created them. More proof that God loves us. --Sharkey
Link that kicks ass -- Sharkey @ 3:51 pm
Ok, many thanks go to Shea Hogan for this link. It Jar-Jargonizes wepages. I checked out Badassmofo.com in it, here is a shortcut, and in a full-screen window. The best part is that all the links on the Jar-Jargonized site become Jar-Jargonized themselves! Go now! Click that damn link!
Big Daddy -- Sharkey @ 3:26 pm
Go see it now if you haven't already. This movie was fucking funny. The humor is a lot more like The Wedding Singer than Billy Madison or Happy Gilmore in that there aren't as many funny lines, just funny moments. Apparently the critics hated it, but the critics are fucking morons. They hated every Star Wars movie, remember? Joey Lauren Adams (Chasing Amy) eventually plays Sandler's love interest, and man is she hot. She's got to be a Slice one of these days. The twins who play the kid in this movie are pretty good kid actors. Rob Schneider is great in this movie too, he plays the delivery guy and sounds like he walked out of a Saturday Night Live sketch. A very entertaining movie, I highly recommend you go see it.
| Friday, June 25, 1999 |
Nothing -- Sharkey @ 9:16 pm
Nothing really exciting today, guess nobody had any contributions to make. Well, I'm going to see Big Daddy tonight, hope it's as good as his other flicks.
Slice of the Day -- Sharkey @ 2:50 pm
You can thank Bud for todays slice of the day. It took a lot of hard work to find classy pics of today's slice, because she seems to have a problem...keeping her clothes on. I'm talking about Ms. Jenna Jameson.
That shirt wont stay on for long.
| Thursday, June 24, 1999 |
Powers out.. -- Sharkey @ 5:53 pm
I'm sitting at work and the fucking power is out. How am I updating you ask? With my trusty laptop of course. Unluckily, the backup power supplies for the servers didn't last, and I got up there a couple of minutes too late. The servers all lost power, and now I'm waiting for the lights to come on so I can go home. Hope your day was as craptacular as mine.
DiCrappio turns down Ep. 2? -- Sharkey @ 3:22 pm
Heh, according to E! Online gossip columnist Ted Casablanca (the gay one) Leo turned down the part of Anakin in Star Wars Episode 2 because he was so dissapointed by the first one. If this is true (knowing E! it's probably not) then this has solidified DiCrappio's tard status. Of course, knowing that he won't be anywhere near the Star Wars movies makes my day much better. Kinda like if you had your first sonogram for your kid and found that he had all ten toes, all ten fingers and no physical deformities. A sigh of relief. Too bad it's not certain yet though, but we'll keep praying.
I shall call him...Vern -- Sharkey @ 3:16 pm
Heh, you should know I'm talking about the infamous Mini-Me (Vern Troyer), from Austin Powers 2. He did an interview with Popcorn.Co.Uk. where he discussed how badass playing Mini-Me was. Have a look at the article, or you can listen to the RealAudio Interview. Enjoy my midget-loving friends. Updating from work kicks ass.
Aahhh...screw it -- Sharkey @ 3:51 am
Ok, enough good reasons to keep Slice of the Day. I'm just being lazy and I know it. I'll keep it going as long for as they let me out of my cell. Besides, what's a better excuse to stare at pictures of hot chicks than this?
| Wednesday, June 23, 1999 |
A few things -- Sharkey @ 11:25 pm
My next step towards world domination is complete. I have secured Macromedia Flash 4.0, and I will now be designing kick-ass shite. Oh, and another thing. It's becoming a tad clear that doing a slice of the day won't really work. I do want to do it, but real life gets in the way. I'd rather do it once or twice a week, that sounds good. What do you all think? Let me know.
Donde esta? -- Sharkey @ 6:20 pm
Hey, where the hell has everyone been lately? I noticed our hits going down, and I checked a few other sites and theirs have gone down as well. Ah, who cares. Hey, Stephen King is in good condition, but he will need months of rehab. He had 7 hours of surgery, and more is scheduled for today.
Watchmen Mini-Series -- Sharkey @ 6:15 pm
Cinescape reports that Director Terry Gilliam told the Rough Cut Web site that the long-awaited Watchmen movie-based on Alan Moore's landmark comic series-might do better as a mini-series. "Watchmen still hangs in the air. I think we should just do a mini-series. Then you can [take] five hours to tell the tale."
| Tuesday, June 22, 1999 |
Slice of the Day -- Sharkey @ 5:28 pm
I was inspired to post today's Slice after Ferris Beuller's Day Off came on TV. Of course I am talking about the lovely Mia Sara, who was also in Ridley Scott's Legend.
Yeesh... -- Sharkey @ 1:44 pm
There's no friggin' news today. Nothing. Nada. Well, at least I had a fun evening, don't know about the rest of you. It was drinkin' time yet again. Bud, Mabs, and Mox were there, along with Haus, Grandmaster B and a few others. We actually ate someplace besides Denny's for once. We went to Norm's, which is basically...uh...like Denny's, but a little cheaper. Mox started eating the damn dairy creamer things until his food got there. He was looking for something to do, so I told him to go across the street to the gas station and do something stupid. He gets up, and then stops at this old guys booth and says "Jealous?" Then fucking walks out. That guy is fuckin' nuts. Oh yeah, and Bud was kicking the shit out of us at Karate Champ.
On a sidenote, Mox has decided to become a poster. Expect some drunkened posts, we'll try to convince him to update the site with his forehead.
| Monday, June 21, 1999 |
Final Fantasy 8 -- Sharkey @ 4:35 pm
They've set the date for FF8, and they're aiming for a September 7th release. Of course, they were shooting for August before, but Square's been taking some pointers from Blizzard on release dates I guess.
X-Men movie -- Sharkey @ 4:32 pm
Well, I knew that they would fuck it up. Here's an exerpt from Variety:
Anna Paquin, the Oscar-winning star of The Piano, will play Rogue in the upcoming X-Men movie. Rogue will be recast as a high school girl with psychic powers recruited by Professor X to fight Magneto.Rogue is not a teenager, nor a psychic. She was a really good character, so of course they're turning her into shite. Great. Let's make a movie based on a comic with a million readers. Then let's change it around so that we alienate all of them, so that about thirty more teenagers will go see it. And what about a talking dog? Shouldn't there be a talking dog or Matt Leblanc or something? Bastards.
Site to check out -- Sharkey @ 6:21 am
Heh, my buddy Alex was right, this site rules. Go to WinkingJesus.com and see if Jesus blesses you. Then be sure to check out the feedback this guy got. You know, as a Christian I believe that Jesus had a sense of humor, so why don't some of these people. Ah, foggetaboutit.
Weird stuff -- Sharkey @ 5:01 am
From the LA Times: Bryan Neal, 25, of Milton Keynes, was accused of smashing video equipment and an interior window on his May 3 flight from Florida to England while drunk, and telling passengers he hoped they would "get sucked out and die." He was sentenced to 80 days and ordered to pay $28,875 to Airtours International.
Also, Shabiyah Davidson, 18, of West Midlands, went berzerk and grabbed a female passenger by the throat on his May 26 flight from Jamaica to Amsterdam after ingesting cocaine that he was smuggling in a swallowed plastic bag, police said. He was charged with assault. Thanks to Big Jim for both of these stories.
| Sunday, June 20, 1999 |
Son of a bitch -- Sharkey @ 11:16 pm
Well shit. Seems that the battery in my laptop won't charge anymore. Anyone know anything about laptop batteries? I just bought that fucking laptop four months ago, and now the damn battery dies. Suggestions, advice?
Road Trip -- Sharkey @ 9:23 pm
Well, looks like I'll be taking a one-week vacation in July. Don't worry though kids, I'll be updating from my trusty laptop. I'm flying out to Kansas City, and then driving back. I'll have reports from Kansas City and the road. I leave on the 19th I think, a little vacation'll do me good.
Roast Report -- Bud @ 4:54 pm
Went to KROQ's Weenie Roast and Luau yesterday as some of you know, it was huge. The whole thing started at 12:00P.M . The Orange County locals Lit opened the show on the second stage. The main stage didn't start until 3:00P.M. Lit was really good, they kind of have that power punk pop vibe going but the energy was real high. Freesylers went on after Lit, but me and my homies were hungry so we got some grub(ribs and collard greens)and strolled up to our lawn seats. Pennywise opened the main stage and shredded the crowd. After them was Orgy....gay,Smashmouth.....OK,Kid Rock.....Good but sound was screwed,Live......gay,Sugar Ray......the chicks dug them a lot therefore I dug them. Now the fun begins, Blink 182 comes out and the bass player is naked. The other guys "forgot" to do the naked thing. They rip into a killer set and all of a sudden the entire concert gets into a huge trash and food fight. So now the crowd is going off and Limp Bizkit comes out to do their thing. They did very well but the crowd wasn't too into the set....that is until they played Nookie, then there was anarchy. Now there is a real good vibe going and out comes Metallica, and you know how they do it. Played mostly old shit like Creeping Death and Master of Puppets. They played for an hour and it went off. The Red Hot Chili Peppers closed the show and they were real tight. The crowd was so tired after 10 hours of show that a lot of folks just started leaving. I have to say that the show was worth the 45 bucks. The best part of it all is I didn't have to see Bret "Butt" Hull win his fricken Stanley Cup.
Random stuff -- Sharkey @ 6:44 am
Well, I'm not shitty anymore, now I'm just fuckin' tired. Had quite a good time I must say. Caught up on old times, drank a few beers. Figured I'd check on things before I go to sleep, and I saw that Stephen King was seriously injured when a van hit him near his home. He is in the hospital in serious yet stable condition. That's quite a bummer. I like Stephen King. Hey, maybe Congress should vote on a bill to abolish all vans. Hey wait, despite the sarcasm, that's not such a bad idea....
Shitty -- Sharkey @ 12:06 am
Heh, Im shitty. If you're not, sucks to be you.
| Saturday, June 19, 1999 |
Cool stuff -- Sharkey @ 2:10 pm
Hey, Mox pointed me to the South Park Movie site, which has some bitchin' games. They all require flash, but you should already have it installed. Here's a shortcut to the games. I highly reccomend "Kick the baby" and "Cartmangotchi". Quality stuff.
And the winner is.... -- Sharkey @ 1:39 pm
OK, I want to thank everyone who entered, voted, blah blah blah. Now that that's done, on to the results. Only 37 out of hundreds of you voted, but we'll let it slide this time.
#1: Doug = 15 votes
#2: Dave = 14 votes
#3: Zeffe = 5 votes
#4: Nobody = 3 votes
As you can see, it was a real squeaker. Dave and Doug were neck and neck the whole time, but Doug pulled in just one more vote. Hey, don't feel so bad Dave, you won our last contest anyway. And Zeffe already has his own site called Get back at the Man. Go visit it and make him feel better. Congratulations to Doug, who will be our new news poster. With it come all the rights and priveledges, including us beating the crap out of you since you're the new guy. Anyone who didn't vote has no right to complain. Actually, I don't want to hear any complaints. A bamf does not whine, remember that. Go drink a beer or 12. Thanks to everyone involved with the contest. We now return you to your normal badass reading.
New section -- Sharkey @ 4:25 am
Added the Staff section to the sidebar, so any newcomers will know who's who. I'll have to update it today after I tabulate the votes. Voting is OVER BTW. I'll announce the winner this afternoon.
YYYEEEEESSSS!!! -- Bud @ 2:18 am
If you remember I was bitching about not going to KROQ's wienie roast. Well quess what, i got tix. So expect a report tommorow night after the show....peace.
| Friday, June 18, 1999 |
Slice of the Day -- Sharkey @ 6:11 pm
Saw Hackers yesterday and thought, "How could anyone believe this shit?" Then I got a look at today's Slice, and lost control of my motor skills. Then it seemed almost natural that someone could hack with a Mac, or even the idea that a hacker could have a social life. Anyway, on to the pie: Angelina Jolie
I only get jobs because of these?
Midgets -- Bud @ 4:47 pm
Just to clear up some details, The little guy with Kid Rock, his name is Joe C and he is not a midget. He is just a little person. He gets totally pissed and will whip some serios ass if he hears someone refer to him ass a midget. If he can't personally kick your ass one of Kid Rocks huge bodygards will. So if you see this guy show him some props and don't call him a midget.
Violence bill gets killed -- Sharkey @ 2:29 pm
Ha! The house voted 266-161 against the bill to basically end First Amendment rights for the entertainment industry. I was ashamed to be a Republican when I heard about Henry Hyde's ludicrous bill. Bunch of kids get killed? OK...Shift the blame-- Shift the blame. Bastards.
Final Fantasy actors confirmed -- Sharkey @ 2:21 pm
Square has released details of who will supply the character voice-overs in the upcoming computer generated Final Fantasy movie. The cast list released by Square gave no indication as to what roles the actors will play in the movie. Expect to hear the voices of Alec Baldwin, Ming Na Wen (Mulan), James Woods, Donald Sutherland, Ving Rhames (Pulp Fiction, Con Air), and Armageddon's Steve Buscemi. The eagerly-awaited CG movie is currently in production at Square's Honolulu studio and is expected to be released in the US sometime in 2001.
An all CGI movie is going to kick ass. And we get it like two days before Japan does. Woo-hoo!
Last night's events -- Sharkey @ 2:20 pm
Ok, I'm awake now, so it's story time kiddies. Gather round. So I was talking to Mox the other day, and he mentions how last night was going to be the last night Star Wars would be at Mann's Chinese in Hollywood. I said I'd never been to the Chinese, and he's like, shit we gotta go. So we drive up to catch the 10:30, the last show.
Midway through the movie this guy two rows back gets up and saunters on up to the screen. He's just tall enough that you can see his head at the bottom of the screen and nothing else. He started walking around with the characters, so it looked like this little floating head was following Anakin around. We were fucking bustin' up. He was looking up and nodding, and people were yelling "Sit the fuck down!". He looks up at Queen Amidala, bows to her, then lays down. Then a minute later he gets up and starts doing that shit again. That guy was a riot. Then one of his buddies went up, grabbed him, and sat him back down. That was one rowdy crowd. There must have been 900 people there. A lot of them were wearing the Countingdown.com shirts which meant they were probably in line for the first show. A couple of Lucasfilm jackets too, which we were going to kick the shit out of the owners for. As we were walking out after the movie, these chicks all dressed up like sluts walk past, and Mox waits a second and mutters, "Hey baby...how much?". He said it just loud enough that they might have heard him, but I'm pretty sure they did.
So we get to Hollywood and Vine, where Mox told me Kid Rock was supposed to have been filming his music video earlier. We get there and all the shit is still up, the lights still on, and a small crowd of people. So we park the car, and walk over (getting offered drugs by some seedy dealers). Right in the middle of all that shit was Kid Rock. He was right in front of this huge-ass mack truck, which had a painting of him as a cowboy on it. The little midget guy Joey C was up at the front of the truck with a half-naked chick. Kid Rock was in the middle with this western style outfit with lights all over it. There were some of the hottest chicks I'd ever seen there. Damn. When you see the video, watch for this chick in a red and blue cowboy getup, her ass should be bronzed and put in a museum. The band was on top of the truck, with a bunch of other hot chicks. Mox pointed out that one of them was falling out of her top. One more inch would've done it, but she caught on after awhile. Damn. The song was probably called "Cowboy", and it was pretty good. We only got to hear the end of the song (like 7 or 8 times) but it sounded great. There were a bunch of old people commenting on how shitty the music was. I liked the song, I want to hear the rest though. That midget is one crazy little motherfucker. I want a midget mascot. Gary Coleman doesn't count, he told me he's not a midget. Anyway, Mox and I were hatching a scheme to steal Kid Rock's guitar, but we would've gotten caught. There were cops everywhere. On our way out we saw some real hookers and their pimp, and I said, "No Mox, do not say anything to the pimp. It was like 2:30 in the morning in LA, I didn't feel like pissing off any pimps. An interesting evening I must say. I can't wait to see that Kid Rock video. Oh, and BTW, Mox will be drunk on Sunday night, you know what that means. Story time on Monday.
Stuff -- Sharkey @ 5:00 am
An eventful night, including Mox insulting hookers and Kid Rock. But you'll have to wait until later to read about it because it's five in the damn morning and it's kind of a long story.
Oh, and sorry to the people who have e-mailed me with questions the past couple of days. I've been kinda busy. Sleep now, stories later.
| Thursday, June 17, 1999 |
Slice of the Day -- Sharkey @ 2:26 pm
Today's slice is arguably the hottest slice of Caliente pie in movies today. She has starred in movies such as From Dusk Til Dawn and Desperado, and still looks amazing at 30. You know I'm talkin' about Salma Hayek:
BA-DAM!
It just gets worse and worse -- Sharkey @ 2:14 pm
BAH! Is this bad news for Ep. 2 day or what? Check out this picture that Coming Attractions posted up:
Uhh...Maybe not -- Sharkey @ 1:51 pm
DAMMIT! Seems that on that ILM special (that I fucking missed) the other day Lucas stated that Jar-Jar will probably be back in Episode II. Here's the Cinescape story. Why couldn't he have been like Biggs, and died on the battlefield? Or at least like Porkins. Heh-heh...Porkins.
Vote Jar-Jar to death -- Sharkey @ 1:38 pm
This is what we've been waiting for. Entertainment tonight put up this poll on whether or not Jar-Jar ruined TPM. Go vote my friends, and perhaps our collective voice will keep the cute 'n cuddly crap out of eps II and III. Thanks to Doktor Eisenbart for the link.
The Man Show -- Sharkey @ 1:09 am
Dammit, I should have been home watching it. I heard it was really fucking funny too. See, you guys might not know this, but the two guys that host the show used to be part of the morning show on local radio station KROQ (the ones who do the weinie roast). Adam Corolla (Loveline) used to be the character Mr. Birchum on Kevin & Bean's morning show, and he was the funniest fucking character imaginable. I'll have to upload some sounds of his stuff. And Jimmy Kimmel (Win Ben Stein's Money) used to be Jimmy the Sports Guy on KROQ. Also a fucking crack-up. He had this obsession with "Italian-American superstar catcher" Mike Piazza. They chained people to Angel stadium in protest to his trade. I know The Man Show will be more of the same crazy shit they used to do.
Then I had to go and miss it. Sonuvabitch.
| Wednesday, June 16, 1999 |
Why Canada? -- Sharkey @ 11:07 pm
I got an e-mail suggesting that we shouldn't bag on Canada, because they can't be all bad. (They do compose the largest amount of foreign BAMF readers) He said we should at least bag on other countries like France or Belgium. I say why not rag on them all? No singling out of anyone. All other countries will be destroyed, and the streets shall flow with the blood of the non-believers. Happy now? It's all just humor guys, don't take it so seriously. I mean, just because I will one day level your country and all its inhabitants with my rail gun doesn't mean we can't all laugh about it now. :)
Suck the vote! -- Sharkey @ 8:47 pm
Heh, got quite a few responses to the news poster vote. Seems a couple of you really hated those entries. Just remember this, with the canning of Saigon, I effectively fired 20% of our news posters (excluding me). So I have no problem with weeding out the tards, and I have the rest of my trusty badass staff to help me. Those entries were based on writing style, and their ability to be a wiseass. Nothing more. Their content was up to them. And to the people who submitted and were not chosen, don't feel bad, pity is for lesser men (or women). A BadassMoFo doesn't care, he/she just wants to be entertained.
Oh, and to those who wonder why a Canadian would make it to the finals, let me explain. See, I figure the more Canadian influence here the better. Why? Because once their way of life starts creeping over, the US government will surely decide that their evils must be stopped. Then it's Quake 4 time, starring Sharkey. They'll sanction the most BadassMoFo around to dispose of Canada and all those who say "eh?" (excluding hockey players) It will be a sea of blinding senseless violence. And the world will once again be safe.
Slice of the Day -- Sharkey @ 6:46 am
Good ol' Bud, he doesn't dissapoint. Today's slice of the day is an import slice, and a Sports Illustrated swimsuit girl. Ms. Heidi Klum:
Hey...are those...
Contest submissions -- Sharkey @ 6:30 am
Yeah, I know, they're a day late, but go vote anyway. I've put up a page with the 3 finalists and their contest entries here. We're keeping this an e-mail only vote, so get ready to e-mail me with yours. It was really hard to narrow this one down, and I want to take this opportunity to thank everyone who entered. A lot of them were really fuckin' funny. But hey, not everyone can win. Get to votin'.
Freak Show -- Sharkey @ 6:28 am
I was notified yesterday that my hazing is over and I am now part of the Freak Show. Kick ass. Now I must celebrate with much beer drinking and a showcasing of my Goldeneye skills. Good thing the hazing is over though, I only expect someone to point a gun at me if I deserve it, not to scare the shit out of me. (Wasn't a real gun BTW, but worked well nonetheless)
Screw Will Smith -- Sharkey @ 5:51 am
Heh, always nice to see good news. Check out this Cinescape exerpt:
Another of the many properties that Will Smith is said to be involved in, attached to, committed to or just interested in has been the long-rumored The Mark, based on a script by Rob Liefeld (Youngblood). Word on The Mark has been pretty quiet lately. While talking to the 11th Hour webpage, Glen Morgan and James Wong, who were rumored to have done a re-write on the script revealed that for the moment they are waiting for a call from Dean Devlin on the project. According to Wong, "The Mark doesn't seem to be standing anywhere. I don't know what they're doing with it. I think it's pretty much dead."
Hah! Good! Will Smith sucks, and so does Rob Leifeld. Rob Leifeld can kiss my ass. One less pile of crap starring Will Smith for us to endure.
| Tuesday, June 15, 1999 |
GAAAH! -- Sharkey @ 11:58 pm
Sometimes working the tech support line sucks. I mean, I'm used to real problems. Server down, WWW services are down, Fried modem, etc. I thought I could handle em all. But have you ever tried to explain to someone how to expand a cell in Excel? I had to twice, to completely computer illiterate people. People who don't know that there are two mouse buttons. People who think that the monitor is the PC. Bastards, the lot've em.
Slice of the Day -- Sharkey @ 11:14 pm
A tad late, but hey, no complaining. Mr Mabs mentioned our Slice of the Day earlier this week, and I saw her on Married...with Children earlier today looking hot. Most people will know her as that Felicity chick. Her name is Keri Russell, and she is muy caliente'. (Yet not caliente pie)
Ain't she sweet?
Lack of news -- Sharkey @ 10:41 pm
Geez, there was nothing interesting today. The only interesting thing was the news that Dougray Scott will be playing Wolverine in the new X-Men movie, but we all know it'll suck anyway. Gotta find a spot where I can FTP those contest entries.....
Mail -- Sharkey @ 6:32 pm
We don't normally do this, but check this one out:
Congratulations.Heh, congratulations, you have made my day. Watch my ego rise! Power overwhelming!! ...Nothing says geek like quoting Starcraft. Ego back on the floor where it belongs.
You have replaced slashdot as my 'must-read' site ..
heh
keep it up.
You Vote -- Sharkey @ 6:23 pm
Well, we've narrowed down the contestants in the poster contest to three finalists. And we're gonna let you guys vote. Stick around for about a half-hour and I'll post up the three finest selections.
| Monday, June 14, 1999 |
Lesbians, this time for real -- Sharkey @ 11:40 pm
Ok, I saw that Solosier didn't appreciate my ruse (cunning attempt to trick you) with the LESBIANS title from the other day. Here's the real lesbian story, only a few days late.
Me, Mox, and Haus were at Mox's work just hanging around. Mox comes up and says, get the fuck over here! A couple of lesbians are fighting! So naturally we run like mad to see, and find two quite hot lesbians screaming their lungs out at each other. The blonde one with the huge *ahem* assets slumps down onto the curb, while the other one (who is even hotter) jumps in her convertible and drives off. The blonde eventually gets up and asks Haus for a cigarette. She starts explaining her situation, and we realize that she is piss drunk. She admits it, and says "I've been drinking since noon. we just got back from El Torito with Dennis Rodman and she got all pissed off that I didn't want to go up to LA until 3AM to watch her work at her 'club'". AHA! Stripper lesbians! This gets better by the minute. These chicks were definitely strippers too. The blonde was wearing a G-string (got a very nice view of it) and a little black tank top (nothing underneath).
About five minutes later the convertible drives up, the hotter one jumps out and shouts "I'm gonna kick your fuckin' ass!". Then the blonde says "Go ahead and hit me!" Then the other one grabs her by the hair and starts leading her towards the car. The blonde broke free and started swearing, then the hotter one returned with even more swearing. They ended it with the blonde wanting to go by the house to take "her stuff back". Lesbians rule. We need more of those.
Bastards -- Sharkey @ 10:21 pm
Mr. Mabs and Haus went and got new PCs today, without me. The Micro Center (local PC store) is having this deal where you sign up for 3 years of ISP service with the Microsoft Network, and they give you a $400 voucher towards the purchase of a PC. You can basically get one free or real cheap with this deal. I think I might be going down there tomorrow to take advantage of this deal. Sounds too good to pass up, so why not accelerate my plans for upgrading?
Slice of the Day -- Sharkey @ 6:47 pm
Today's slice is....well...hot! You may remember her as the Noxema girl, or from Scream 2 or 90210. Rebecca Gayheart. Her next scheduled flick is the sequel(prequel?) to From Dusk til Dawn.
Pierce's Badass Test -- Sharkey @ 5:55 pm
I uploaded our new section today, Pierce's Badass Test. A million thanks go out to it's author, Adrian P. Dunston for letting us host it here on BadassMoFo.com. He also whipped up this Random Badass Quote generator. Thanks again Adrian, everyone go check 'em out.
Site stuff -- Sharkey @ 3:58 pm
"Hey Sharkey, where have you been?" Sorry if the news has been kinda skimpy. We will now be returning to our normal updating frequency. We've got a brand new section coming in today, soon as I upload the thing, so stick around.
| Sunday, June 13, 1999 |
Tyson bites...again -- Sharkey @ 2:56 pm
OK, I found this picture and it was too funny not to post:
Young Mike in preschool foreshadowing the future...
LESBIANS!! -- Sharkey @ 2:32 pm
Heh, now that I've got your attention, sorry for the lack of posts yesterday. It was quite a disturbing day indeed. Oh, and I think it'd be best if we only did the Slice of the Day on the weekdays, not the weekend. I'll be processing eveyone's applications over the next day or so, then we'll fing out who our next news poster will be.
| Saturday, June 12, 1999 |
Game Reviews -- Sharkey @ 3:13 pm
Ok, time for some good ol' PC game reviews.
Star Wars: TPM
Rating: B+
Ok, I finally bit the bullet and bought the game. It's pretty cool. The music in the game is great, taken straight from the movie. They did full voice-over, and the voices match the actors pretty well. The one gripe I have about the game is the character graphics. The scenery, the stap droids, they all look phenominal. Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon on the other hand, look like Lego men. Also, those destroyer droids with the shields? If I take my lightsaber to their asses before they even get their shields up, they should be dust. Not so in this game. The control is OK, nothing to be exited about. The force push thing also wasn't as powerful as I wanted it to be. Like all the other Star Wars games, if it wasn't Star Wars, it wouldn't be as good. I love deflecting shots with the lightsaber, I love using the force, I love that music. Also, this game feels much more like a console game than say, Jedi Knight. It's smoother, and it's really nice with a Microsoft Sidewinder. Go buy it if you liked Jedi Knight.
Carmegeddon 2
Rating: A-
Ooh look, the Star Wars fan rated Carmageddon higher than the Star Wars game! Damn straight, this game kicks ass. Even more so than the first game. Why? Bigger levels, more powerups, and a kick-ass soundtrack by Iron Maiden. Come on, IRON MAIDEN! Destruction and Iron Maiden go hand in hand. If you liked Twisted Metal 2 (2, not any of the others! They sucked!) or the original Carmageddon, you'll love this game. In fact, screw this, I'm gonna go play it now. Later.
Mmm...sleep -- Sharkey @ 2:32 pm
Heh, woke up a 2PM, checked out some other sites, and saw that G from Ramblings and Solosier from Solosier.com both got up at 2PM as well. Of course, they live in different time zones, but that was kinda wierd. Let the updating begin!
| Friday, June 11, 1999 |
Hmm -- Sharkey @ 4:41 am
Wow, I went through the server's logs, and found a lot of interesting stuff. For one thing, we had like 1000 hits from Shugashack in April. I don't remember us ever being mentioned on Shugashack. Found a lot of people who link to the Pieclopedia and Got Maul?. I also found a lot of people's homepages and sites who link to us that I'd never seen or heard of before. Spread the word my friends, we're here to entertain you.
Slice of the Day -- Sharkey @ 12:00 am
At Mr. Mabs' request, today's slice of the day is Heather Graham, who is in the new movie Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me. Damn is she a good looker. We're just linking to today's pics in order to keep the site download time down. Here's a great pic from her new movie. And here is another one. Enjoy.
| Thursday, June 10, 1999 |
Stuff -- Sharkey @ 11:53 pm
Hey, no Slice of the Day yet? Heh, slow your robe homies, dat shiznit be up soon. (I am hideously white). I got word from our oversees correspondant and longtime bro Wags that he'll be back for a full month in August. Just in time to head off to the Comic-con. Bitchin'. I love going to the comic-con with my professional badge and pick on the trekkies with their regular passes. Abuse of power kicks ass.
Also, Big Jim (who wrote up them top 7 lists way back when) came up with the worlds most kick-ass theme song for a website. EVER. So, we're going to record it, and to go along with it I'm gonna whip up a Flash intro to the site that's been kicking around in my head for awhile. I've always planned to make this site like a guy's e-zine. All about beer, women, fixin' cars and cool gear. I should probably get off my lazy ass then huh?
Also, we got Mox his own badassmofo.com e-mail. So if you've got anything to say to him, send it to him. I think I've only posted stories about him doing stupid stuff, maybe with enough hate-mail he'll post on the site in his defense.
Former Rolling Stone sells hot dogs -- Sharkey @ 9:47 pm
Wow. That must suck ass. You'd have to be pretty strong not to be bitter for life about this. Read the story. Here's an exerpt:
This weekend the band will perform before tens of thousands of fans at London's Wembley stadium, while Little will sell burgers and hot dogs outside. "I have no regrets, even though I could have become a millionaire, but then I remember that I'm alive and happy."Little broke down moments later, crying out "Kill me! I sell hot dogs! There are no hot dog groupies! Someone throw panties at me!" He was later arrested and taken into custody by local PD.
Boycotted "buzzword" of the day -- Sharkey @ 9:39 pm
Mouse potatoes. Who the hell thought this up, and why hasn't anyone brought me their head on a platter yet? Gah, stupidity.
Question -- Sharkey @ 9:27 pm
Ok everyone, I've received quite a few submissions, and some of them are pretty damn good. It's going to be tough picking who gets posting rights. In fact I've received offers from established webmasters (not web-hampsters, you know who you guys are) which is surprising. We have five people with posting access: Me, Mr Mabs, Bud, Wags, and Gary Coleman. Soon we will have another, and possibly more. Here's my question. How many news posters is too many? So far I'm the only one who updates every day, so basically how much BadassMoFo do you want to experience each day. Quality is not an issue here, I won't allow crap (for long, anyways). Let me know guys, I want to hear it.
New site -- Sharkey @ 6:21 pm
Got an e-mail yesterday pointing me to this here site: Brain Damage. Very nice layout, and the site looks really promising. TBA, one of the news posters there, also pointed me to a site with the Got Maul? parody, where they called me Sparky. They got it right though, my name is pronounced with a silent "h" and an imaginary "p". Just kidding. Call me Sparky and I'll kick your ass six ways to Sunday.
Natalie (again) -- Sharkey @ 5:56 pm
This is pretty funny. Mox and I went to see TPM again last night in Westwood (to check out Surround EX) and I noticed in one scene that Natalie's nipples were kinda poking up through her shirt. Of course it was only on for a second, so I couldn't confirm. When I checked out Simpleminded today, there was a picture, with the scene in question. Thanks to Theseus over there for doing the work for me.
Heh heh -- Sharkey @ 3:54 pm
Looks like I've frightened everyone by asking for those pics of Kathy Griffin. Don't worry guys, I haven't lost it. Everything will be explained, I just need a decent picture of her that doesn't make her look like a jacked-up freak (which is hard, cuz she is a jacked up freak). I got one link to a pic that didn't look too bad, but it was kinda small.
Oh, and I was kidding about the kid and the bandsaw blade yesterday. But not about him being a lying SOB. Or that I whupped his ass at any video game imaginable.
Help -- Sharkey @ 5:50 am
Hey everyone, I don't remember if I've asked before or not, and I'm too lazy to check, but I need a good looking picture of Kathy Griffin (Suddenly Susan). Anyone who can send me a pic or a link to it I would much appreciate it. Thanks.
Done -- Sharkey @ 5:46 am
Well, not quite, but I updated the pieclopedia to reflect the new forbidden slice. Also, Natalie was moved to the dutch apple section, where she will reside with my wife Katie Holmes until the end of time. Also, got the rename of Bean/Caliente Pie almost finished.
| Wednesday, June 09, 1999 |
Pile of Crap -- Sharkey @ 7:40 pm
Well, here's something I saw from Cinescape:
George Lucas had even more spectacular special effects in mind for Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace but held back, John Knoll, visual effects exec at Industrial Light & Magic told TV Guide
Heh, this just reminded me of this friend I had as a kid who I always beat at video games, and afterwards he'd say something like, "I wasn't playing my best." Lying little son of a bitch. He wasn't making excuses after that bandsaw blade took his tongue off in shop class.
Slice of the Day -- Sharkey @ 5:13 am
We here at BadassMoFo.com would like to wish Natalie Portman (Star Wars, Anne Frank) a happy birthday. In celebration of her 18th birthday, which signifies her legality, we honor her as our Slice of the Day.
Finally my thoughts are legal
Here is a picture of Natalie looking quite hot, yet conservative. Here is another picture, which is one of my favorites. As Mox cleverly pointed out this evening, the date is 6/9. He was probably pretty bored. But still, her birthday, 69, heh, we'll move on now. Happy birthday Natalie.
Stuff -- Sharkey @ 4:50 am
Well, according to that Natalie countdown, she is now legal. She'll be moved out of forbidden land later today. In celebration of her...uh...bangability, we are making Natalie our slice of the day.
Oh yeah, and we finally replaced the name of Bean Pie. Frustrated suggested the name "Caliente Pie". Sweet. I was waiting for someone to come up with something better. Thanks Frus.
Good bye Saigon John....... -- Wags @ 1:38 am
Awwww...it's too bad about that old piece of shit, he got what he deserved in the end....probably twice, by the butcher at the end of the street. For all the people who felt bad about bashing the shit out of an old fag, let me ease the pain. He really was a 22 year old piece of shit that probably still lives with his mother, and his best friends are his right and left hands...when they don't fall asleep on him. Now on to something really important, where the hell are my damn shoes?
| Tuesday, June 08, 1999 |
Badass Contest -- Sharkey @ 11:12 pm
Well, Saigon John is no more. The whole staff wanted him fired, except Gary Coleman who doesn't give a shit about it. So how do we fill this void? With something better we hope. Mabs had the brilliant idea of giving away his posting rights. That's right, one of you badass readers might be our next news poster. Here's what you've gotta do. Send in a short article on news, pie, or the world in general. Make it to the point, and funny. You can be male or female (like females read this site), and preferably a wise-ass. Send all entries to me, and we'll pick the best one. Good luck!
Forbidden Pie -- Sharkey @ 11:12 pm
The votes are in, and Lacey Chabert of Party of Five will be our resident forbidden slice. If I find a good picture I'll probably stick Lee Lee underneath her on the page. Thanks to everyone who voted.
Saigon John = gone -- Mr Mabs @ 10:18 pm
Say goodbye to Saigon John, because we've locked up his posting rights. We're sick of his crap and a bunch of you are too. So we asked Sharkey to take away his posting ability. Sharkey got an e-mail earlier tonight that sums up what everyone has been telling us:
what's up with this Saigon John dude? his posts never make sense..
So to Saigon John we bid a fond farewell and a fine "Fuck you".
Overheard @ Work -- Saigon John @ 7:28 pm
BAMF - "These are all games you need balls to play."
Must...Kill...Sharkey... -- Saigon John @ 7:18 pm
You bastard! For those of you who know me, you know why I want to kill him. Bad MoFo. Bad. Boo. Major Boo. As his sister said, 'he's a monkey nugget.'
To cheer myself up, I've started work on a new BadAss list: the Top 101 Reasons Why Lara Croft is Better then Mario. I've put together most of them already, but feel free to e-mail me if you come up with any cool ones.
Uhh..someone already did a "Why Lara is better than Mario". I mean, only two really matter, unless you're looking at her from behind. And now that I'm fucking awake, let me comment on why he's pissed at me by saying two words. "Fuck" and "You". You've got no reason to be pissed at me. This reminds me, Mabs and Bud and Wags want to have a contest. Stay tuned for details.
Indiana Jones 4 -- Sharkey @ 2:38 pm
Cinescape reports that Jeffrey Boam, who wrote The Last Crusade, will script the fourth Indiana Jones movie, reportedly entitled Indiana Jones and the Lost Continent. But Star Wars producer Rick McCallum told Starlog it may be awhile before shooting starts due to the busy schedules of George Lucas, Steven Spielberg and Harrison Ford. The movie won't be a prequel, he said.
How could they make a prequel when Harrison Ford is in his mid fifties?
Feedback:
Actually, Harrison Ford's relentlessly advancing age is a key part of the movie - which becomes clear when you correct the typo Cinescape let creep in, and view the *real* title, Indiana Jones and the Incontinence. -JimboHa ha. Took a second before I got that. Damn I'm tired. I got a drunk sock puppet monkey sidekick. He's incontinent.
Slice of the Day -- Sharkey @ 6:01 am
Well, you guys asked for it, so you guys get it. Slice of the Day will now be a recurring section. And, since he was the first to suggest it, we also let Mox pick today's slice. He picked Buffy the Vampire Slayer's Charisma Carpenter:
Lucky underwear.
See more of Charisma here and here.Charisma, 28, was born in Las Vegas, Nevada. She has appeared on other shows such as Baywatch and Malibu Shores. She was recently interviewed in Maxim magazine, looking quite hot. I suggest you check it out.
40% of bus. software installed illegally -- Sharkey @ 5:52 am
The Register has a story about how 40% of business software is installed illegally. Read more.
What'll it be? -- Sharkey @ 5:48 am
Well, according to the Natalie Portman countdown to legality we've got 18 hours until she moves out of the forbidden stature. This means that our new forbidden slice will go up. So far Lacey Chabert is beating out Lee Lee Sobliesky. Any last minute votes had best come in now.
| Monday, June 07, 1999 |
BAH! -- Sharkey @ 11:47 pm
OK, today I had what was most likely the worst tech support call ever. Those who know me, know that I work in I.T., or I.S., or whatever we're called that week. I get this call today and this guy is an assitant manager who speaks almost no English. I think, OK, that's fine, shouldn't have any effect on him knowing how to do his job. BUT DAMN! That guy would not listen! His problem is probably one of the easiest ones I get, and he won't listen to the fix. I tell him, right click on this, go to properties. He says hold on. A minute passes. He says, "That didn't work". I say, "What didn't work?" He says, "The problem is still there." I say, "I haven't told you how to fix anything yet!" This goes on for nearly a damn hour. By the end of the call, I'm saying, "DO NOT DO ANYTHING UNLESS I TELL YOU! DO EXACTLY WHAT I SAY AND NOTHING MORE!" Son of a bitch couldn't even do that. Know what he gets? He gets to drive to another location with another machine to do his work. I'm going to call when someone who can listen is there so the problem can be fixed. Bastards, the lot've them.
Overclock to a Gigahertz? -- Sharkey @ 4:26 pm
Wow. Hardware Central has overclocked a P3 500 to a GigaHertz. That is one fast POS. Have a look at this article which has a step by step tutorial on how to overclock and cool one yourself.
Girl gamers -- Sharkey @ 4:22 pm
I talked to Frus today, and the subject of female gamers came up. As some of you may know, Mark from GOTM is against female gamers. Yggdrasil has now put up a page devoted to supporting female gamers in response. I wholeheartedly believe in girl gamers. I would love to find a woman who could give me a good challenge at War2 or 1080 snowboarding or any good game for that matter. Here's my logic behind this:
A. I love women.
B. I love games.
Put them together and lookee here! Two of my favorite things rolled into one! It's like that old commercial for Reeses Peanut Butter Cups when the ancient guys found that peanut butter and chocolate tasted good. You know how some women hate sports, and get all mad when you sit and watch football instead of spending time with her? Well look, now you can spend time with her by challenging her to a DM or a LAN game of Starcraft! I've tried to get every gf I ever had to enjoy games, it's like a dream for me. I don't understand how Mark Boyko can be against it. Oh well, I've said my piece. Rant over.
Slices -- Sharkey @ 6:55 am
I was talking to Mox, and telling him about yesterday's hot slice of the day, and he said I should be posting them more often. What do you guys think? I put them up because I like 'em, and figure you would too. Should I do a slice of the day every few days, every day? Gimme some feedback.
Also, just out of curiosity, do we have any female readers? If you are a female reader, please e-mail me. I'd like to hear a female's opinion about this site, the only one so far was from Frus. (Who doesn't hate us as you might figure).
Lieberman again -- Sharkey @ 6:48 am
Sen. Lieberman has decided to use that stick up his ass to drum up more support again. Here's a look at his latest idiocies:
Congress wants to hold the feet of record producers and video game makers to the fire in the wake of the Littleton, CO, high school massacre. Sens. John McCain (R-AZ) and Joe Lieberman (D-CT) plan to introduce a bill that would impose a $10,000 a day fine on any music or video vendor that does not attach a label to products containing violent content.
Kids are going to buy what they want, when they want. Just like those lame ratings on video games that Lieberman was so reviered for. No store owner I know of ever gave two shits about the rating system. Any kid could buy Mortal Kombat 4, not that anyone would want to buy that crap.
| Sunday, June 06, 1999 |
Qui-Gon is NOT alive -- Sharkey @ 9:50 pm
OK, I saw the USA Today report, then I saw on some other site, then someone tells me that Shlonglor posted about it. Qui-Gon is dead. They burned his ass. Yoda was bustin' out the A-1 and having a Qui-Gon barbeque. Wondering what I'm talking about? OK, USA Today wrote that Qui-Gon may not be dead because of this:
"After being struck down by Darth Maul, why doesn't Qui-Gon Jinn disappear like Obi-Wan Kenobi did in Star Wars?" It then quotes George Lucas as saying: "You will discover why he doesn't disappear in the next film. The key line that serves as a clue is from Ben Kenobi to Darth Vader in the original film: 'If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.'"
Now who here takes that as him not being dead? Obi-Wan and Yoda gave up their lives and became one with the force. Qui-Gon got his ass skewered, and probably wasn't as in tune with the force as them. OK, enough Star Wars. ENOUGH! <Sigh, still upset that it'll be over 1000 days until the next one>
Slice of the day -- Sharkey @ 6:36 pm
Just came across this slice, Jessica Alba, who you'll remember as the smokin' hot chick in Idle Hands.
BOO-YAH!
Here's another pic, this one is a tad more classy. How about some vital stats on Jessica? Measurements: Height: 5'6 1/2" Bust: 34" Waist: 25" Hips: 34" Size: 6. Amazing what you can find online.
NOOOOOOO!!! -- Sharkey @ 2:32 pm
BAH! I guess DiCrappio isn't out of the running for Episode II. Here's the Cinescape exerpt:
Star Wars Episode I producer Rick McCallum did not rule out casting heart throb Leonardo DiCaprio as Anakin Skywalker in Episode II. In a recent chat, McCallum said "Both George and I love Leo's work, but we haven't even begun casting yet for Episode II, and won't until September or October," the producer said.
This better not be a plot by them Fox bastards for more young female viewers.
Hello? -- Sharkey @ 2:19 pm
Hey, where did all our readers go this weekend? Heh, I guess BadassMoFo readers have lives. Heh heh. Good thing, I was too busy to update until now.
| Saturday, June 05, 1999 |
Mail -- Sharkey @ 8:55 pm
I was just about to head out, when I recieved this e-mail:
what's up with this Mox guy? He sounds like an idiot.. And if you are such a bad ass mofo, why are you always going to denny's and causing trouble instead of scoring with the girlies.. How old is Mox, and how old are you? Who is this Sandi chick, and why didn't you score with her? Please address these questions on your site instead of mailing me back, im sure other readers are just as curious as I.
Word to your moms
-Lesbians
P.S. I enjoy reading your site.
Well, some interesting questions. Let's answer them in order.
Last night -- Sharkey @ 6:35 pm
The party last night was at a girl named Sandi's house, who invited like 15 people over. (Mabs wussed out). Mox and I waited for Grandmaster B to get off work before heading over. When we got there, nobody was really drinking that much. That soon changed.
We went up to this entertainment room, where they had pool tables, foosball, and a standup Karate Champ. I kicked the shit out of Mox at Karate Champ. Dumbass punched the machine and hurt his hand too. Then everybody realized it was time to go to Denny's. We grabbed a couple of drinks for the road and headed off. There were 9 of us, and when we got there Mox gets us the same booth as last time. He started right off by grabbing his drink he brought, and pouring it into a water glass. He drank most of it, then pours the rest into the jug in the middle of the table. Then he starts pouring syrup, salt, all kinds of shit into that thing while everyone's trying to get him to stop. Then some guy comes up and says, "you know all that shit you did was on camera there right?" Mox didn't give a shit.
Everyone told me to go guard the door when Mox went to the can in case he does anything really stupid. Then I spied one of those mechanical crane games. This guy put in five bucks trying to get this fucking bear out, and couldn't. I put in two bucks, and on the last try I got the bear, but the fucking claw wouldn't open to drop it! We started kicking and pushing the machine, and the thing finally came out. I was going to give it to the guy, but thought fuck that I put in two bucks I'm keepin' this motherfucker.
While waiting for the food, Mox started grabbing glasses of water and randomly dumping them on the floor under the table. We're all like, "WTF ARE YOU DOING?" He did it with damn near every glass of water eventually. Then when a waitress walks by, he goes, "Can I PLEASE get some water?" She fills his glass, and when she turns her back he dumped it. Then when she came back he asked for more, and she says "I think you've had enough water there." Then Mox starts yelling, "You're cutting me off on water?!?" That was some funny shit. We decided to eat real quick and get the hell out of there.
When we got back, people start lingering around and Mox goes upstairs to piss. Sandi goes up there to see what's taking him so long, and he's passed out. So we go upstairs, and Sandi goes and gets permanent markers. We drew all over his face in red and black until he was pretty much covered. Then he tried rubbing his face on the couch, so me and Grandmaster B picked him up and put him on the floor.
Much fun. Everybody else had to work today too, bummer for them. I wonder if Mox was able to get all that shit off his face.
Console wars -- Sharkey @ 6:13 pm
Here's an article on the next-gen systems from Sony, Sega, and Nintendo. It discusses all their strenghts and weaknesses. Go check it out.
Need sleep.... -- Sharkey @ 9:09 am
Well, as expected, Mox did not dissapoint. I just got back from the party, and it's...9AM. Nice. If my guess is correct, Mox is still asleep on the floor amidst Grandmaster B and Sandi, and his face is still colored all red and black. Think of a really sloppy Darth Maul. We went to Denny's again, but I can't type all the stuff that happened. I need sleep, will post the full story later.
| Friday, June 04, 1999 |
Slice of the day -- Sharkey @ 3:55 pm
Today's slice is our resident dutch apple, and is the hottest chick on Dawson's Creek. This particular image was Mabs' wallpaper for awhile. Enjoy.
Click for larger image
Thanks to Roosh for pointing me to that photo gallery.
Par-tay -- Sharkey @ 3:41 pm
Party tonight. Looks like my cold cleared up just in time. Yes, Mox will be there. Yes, he will probably drink his ass off. Yes, I will probably be posting more tales of his drunkened adventures. Which reminds me, Mabs, you better be going. And in case Haus didn't tell you, bringing the 64 might be a sweet idea.
Thanks -- Sharkey @ 2:44 pm
Many thanks go to Adrian Dunston for the swank new Pieclopedia logo. Go check it out. Hopefully Adrian wlll be bringing us our first hosted section on BadAssMoFo. And it is sweet. Stay tuned.
Digital Projection -- Sharkey @ 2:03 pm
I almost forgot about the digital projection of Star Wars. It's supposed to premier in digital theatres on June 18. If anyone's hoping to catch it in a big theatre, you won't. The digital projection requires a small screen to play it on. Doubtful that any theatre would put Dolby EX in such a small auditorium. But it'll still be neat to see a fully digital projection.
Unlimited bandwidth for all? -- Sharkey @ 4:48 am
There's a new technology called Powerline in development that could unlimited bandwidth through power lines. The company states that this new technology could be less than a year away. This powerline technology is supposed to transfer data in exobits. That would be a 1, followed by 18 zeros. Per second. That is what I call fucking fast. I don't even think hard drives write/access at half that speed, probably way less actually. Anyway, here's the CNET article for your perusal.
| Thursday, June 03, 1999 |
Link -- Sharkey @ 4:15 pm
Go have a look at Room 8. Toilet humor and ethics. There's a winning combination if I ever heard one.
Article -- Sharkey @ 3:01 am
Saigon John's new article, Bananna Cream Pie is up. So go read it. At least this one ain't aimed at Fr...you know what, no mentioning her today. We'll just skip on off to pieland now. MMM...dutch apple.....
Come on guys -- Sharkey @ 2:23 am
Ok, I ask for suggestions for a new forbidden pie slice and I only get a few responses, and only two candidates. Right now, the only competitors are Lacey Chabert (Party of Five) and Lee Lee Sobieski (Deep Impact). I know we can come up with some other suggestions. Send them in. And here's a picture of Lee Lee in case you don't know what she looks like.
Click for larger pic.
Play NES/SNES games on N64 -- Sharkey @ 2:11 am
Saw this little number over on Dave's Classics. The Tristar64 allows 8-bit NES and 16-bit SNES cartridges to be played on the N64. Have a look at their website. Kind of a lame site, but a good idea for a product.
Hmm... -- Sharkey @ 1:53 am
Yeah, parents need a more active role. But I don't agree with only positive reinforcement. Kids need the need time-outs, or in some cases need spankings. I don't mean hitting. Not the same thing. I helped raise my little sister, I babysat kids for years, I helped out in kindergarten classes corraling the kids. They needed correction. And correction usualy entailed telling them that they had done wrong, and giving some form of punishment. Same way society works, only on a small scale, right?
All kids need discipline. Parenting styles vary, as do the level of discipline given. I plan to have kids one day (not any time soon though), and I hope that the balance of love and discipline in my home is balanced as best I can give it. I had a (brief) chat with Saigon John about this, but he wouldn't discuss it. I think he may have some personal stake in this, and I can respect his need to stand behind his original statements. But I don't want any comments from him on this. I merely wanted a second side to be heard.
And there you have it. Both sides heard. No bickering. We now return you to your previously scheduled programming.
Hear hear! -- Saigon John @ 12:33 am
Straight up and damn straight Bud!
It's so damn easy to lay blame for the ills of society at the feet of popular culture. Well, you know what? Society creates pop culture!
First, you want to prevent violence, stop teaching your kids that it's ok to hurt someone when they're bad. It is NOT ok to hit your kids - for any reason. Positive reinforcement works better then negative reinforcement. (Try reading the book House of Stairs by...William Sleator, I believe.)
Second, spend more time with your children. You can say whatever you like, but you know you don't spend enough time with your children. Sitting down to dinner with them is not enough, asking them how their day was is not enough, tucking them in at night is not enough you have to do all you can to make yourself available for your kids. Family game night twice a week is a great idea. The point is, spend time with them where you interract in a positive setting.
Third, teach your kids to love reading. Nothing, nothing, expands a mind and teaches like a good book. It doesn't even matter what the reading is (even comics). Ignorance and prejudice have a difficult time growing in an atmosphere of knowledge and tolerance.
| Wednesday, June 02, 1999 |
No! Sweet Lord No! -- Sharkey @ 8:07 pm
Looks like they are planning on creating another Star Trek spinoff. Supposedly it will be a prequel to the other shows. My question is, "Who watches this CRAP?!?" Here are the details on this already doomed-to-failure pile of swill.
The next Star Trek show could premiere as soon as September 2000, franchise chief Rick Berman told the L.A. Times. More likely is a premiere by September of 2002 but the series could be put on a fast track, he said. He would not say whether the series would be developed for UPN or for syndication.
Somebody put UPN out of their misery. All they broadcast is crap.
Overheard @ Work -- Saigon John @ 1:38 pm
BAMF - "Hey, dude! She's got candy in her drawers!"
Dammit -- Sharkey @ 1:29 pm
Alright, I can't even get a good nights sleep without shit hitting the fan. And lookee here, my first hate mail too. (Thanks to Saigon John for that) First of all: We are not against Frustrated. Period. She and I actually seemed to be getting along. Secondly: Saigon John's post was not made to anger Frus or her viewers. Even I don't know (or care) what the hell yggdrasil means. And I sure as hell don't care that Frus doesn't. Thirdly: I don't know wtf Frus is doing on her site. Let me know when she gets off those depressants.
A mind is a terrible... -- Saigon John @ 12:23 pm
All right! All of Frus's devotees sent me nasty e-mail chock full of four letter words and second grade grammatical errors. To you I quote the following:
"For 'ignorance is the mother of devotion,' as all the world knows."
"No more where ignorance is bliss,
'T is folly to be wise."
I have to say, I enjoyed every last one of your wonderfully heartwarming comments.
"Better to keep silent and be thought a fool, then to speak and remove all doubt."
| Tuesday, June 01, 1999 |
Tips on life -- Sharkey @ 9:56 pm
Hey, here's one for ya. If you take enough aspirin and cold medication, any sore throat, no matter how severe, goes away. And you start to feel all numb and tingly. Hey, and speaking of feeling tingly, go check out Roosh's "Featuring Jennifer Love Hewitt" section. Kick ass. I think I'm going to go lie in a corner and assume the fetal position now. Whee...
What the Hell...? -- Saigon John @ 8:31 pm
Our resident Faux Pie has done it again. Check out "What the Hell Does Yggdrasil Mean?" over on Menstruated. Hey, Frus, your ignorance and Mr. Winkie are showing. Check out this cool article on Norse Mythology for the lowdown on the World Tree.
Playstation MP3 player -- Sharkey @ 5:13 pm
Saw this over at Videogames.com:
A PlayStation MP3 player has been announced but unfortunately details on it won't be revealed until next week. Called the MP3 Enhancer, this add-on apparently snaps onto the expansion port to allow CD's with MP3 tracks to be played. The MP3 Enhancer will retail for US$60.
Gracias Roosh -- Sharkey @ 4:15 pm
Thanks go to Roosh for his kind words, and also for his excellent display of Britney's nipples!
Forbidden! -- Sharkey @ 3:50 pm
OK, I think I've been convinced. Lacey Chabert will most likely be our next Forbidden slice, unless you can convince me otherwise. Before you get all pissy about it, let me say that at first I too was skeptical. I mean, she is that whiny little girl from Party of Five. Allow me to present exhibit A:
Must...control...thoughts...
Need more proof? Click here. More? Then try this. Oh yeah, thanks to Alan who was the first to suggest her.
Loch Ness live -- Sharkey @ 2:51 pm
Adding to the theory that there is a web cam for everything, the residents of Loch Ness have put one up on their famous lake. You can watch the lake in hopes of catching a glimpse of "Nessie", or you can just sit and watch because you really don't have a life. Either way, have a look at Loch Ness Live.
Star Wars train keeps a rollin' -- Sharkey @ 5:14 am
Looks like TPM pulled in $64.8 million over the holiday weekend. This puts it up to about $205 million. That is an assload of money. George Lucas is supposed to make $2 billion off this flick and it's merchandise. And then the ungrateful bitch won't even make the last trilogy! Lousy ingrate.
Blink -- Sharkey @ 5:10 am
The new Blink 182 album Enema of the State comes out today. I must go pick this up. It will most certainly kick ass. Bud also mentioned to me that Limp Bizkit has a new one coming out on the 22nd. Bitchin'. I try not to get my hopes up for new albums. I used to have a list of "staple bands" who's albums I would buy without listening to a song, because they always kick ass. Unfortunately, bands like Metallica have turned my staple list into a pile of shit. BTW, Metallica can kiss my ass. I want my money back for Load you bunch of pansies.
