Episode 1 came out a long-ass time ago, dumbass
Star Wars: Episode 1 Countdown
Any news, comments, pie? Send it
| Monday, May 31, 1999 |
New sound -- Sharkey @ 4:23 pm
OK, there's a new sound file for download, up in the top right hand corner for ya. Took me hours to find that damn file, but it was worth it. It's pretty big at 555KB, but hey, that's the price you gotta pay for quality baby!
Fixed broken links -- Sharkey @ 4:18 pm
Well, spent today going through everything to find all the broken links on this site. Hopefully I got most of them. If you find any more, let me know.
My new article -- Gary Coleman @ 3:21 pm
Hey guys, it's about time for my latest article. It's called "The Perks of Being a Security Guard". Have a look at it, and let me know what you think. Until next time, Peace.
| Sunday, May 30, 1999 |
Insufficient Vespene Gas -- Sharkey @ 11:37 pm
Playing Starcraft, love to blow shite up. Here's something wierd, the hits went up by a hundred uniques or so all last week, and they all went away this week. Bye guys, hope you enjoyed your stay. Working when you're sick sucks. May have to see the doctor tomorrow.
But... -- Saigon John @ 3:42 pm
After seeing a picture of Sharkey's last g/f, there's no doubt he REALLY likes 'em frosted on the outside with yummy fruit filling on the inside.
I don't know what the hell he means, but if any ex of mine had yummy fruit filling, I might not have dumped them. Frosting never hurts either. -- Sharkey
WHY? -- Sharkey @ 3:25 pm
Why would God allow a commercial for tasty delicious Pop-Tarts (which are blessings from God) when I CAN'T HAVE ANY? Oh, what have I done to deserve this? Light frosted outside....yummy fruit filling inside....*sob*
Crappitty Crap Crap -- Sharkey @ 3:05 pm
Being sick sucks ass. I'm sure this is some kind of throat infection. GGRRRR....ow...*cough**cough*...
Crap.
Kids say... -- Saigon John @ 2:58 am
Harrison Ford's son was overheard saying:
"My daddy is a movie actor and sometimes he plays the good guy and sometimes he plays the lawyer."
Random thoughts -- Sharkey @ 2:01 am
You know you love em'
And lastly, I'd like to thank the US government for graciously giving me back some of my hard earned money. Hey.....HEY!
PS Guitar -- Sharkey @ 12:38 am
This is the image of the Playstation Guitar Freaks controller, scheduled to release along with the game on July 29, for 5980 yen, the controller looks even better than the arcade version, and the body of the controller is in silver color. The PS version of Guitar Freaks will be supporting the upcoming arcade version of Guitar Freaks 2nd Mix Link Version, which allow you to exchange save data between the arcade and PS, and unlock new songs in the PS version. (Thanks to Gaming News)
Whoa -- Sharkey @ 12:27 am
Hey, Vampire Hunter D is on Sci-fi right now. It's one kick-ass anime flick. I wonder how badly they'll censor it. Maybe I should actually get off my lazy ass and write up an anime review for it.
| Saturday, May 29, 1999 |
Overheard @ Lunch -- Saigon John @ 8:16 pm
BAMF #1 - "I thought that alcohol that went bad became vinegar, wine at least."
BAMF #2 - "I thought alcohol that went bad became tequila."
Forbidden Pie -- Sharkey @ 6:36 pm
Thanks to Dave Kuchler for letting me know that our resident slice of Forbidden Pie, Natalie Portman, was on the Daily Show. Yet again the legality of my thoughts were in question. But not for long, which leads me to the point of this post. Natalie will no longer be forbidden in about ten days. Therefore we need a new forbidden spokesgirl. Suggestions? Want to tell me to get my mind out of the gutter? Send it. And no Britney Spears, from what I understand she is Lemon Meringue.
So close....sooo close...
Games -- Sharkey @ 4:40 pm
Hey, didn't Lunar: Silver Star Story come out this weekend? I gotta go pick that up. Also, has anyone played the new Episode 1 game for the PC? (not podracer)
CA mayor all for the pie -- Sharkey @ 4:18 pm
The mayor of Hermosa Beach outside Los Angeles wants equal rights for women who want to bare their breasts. "I can go topless. Why can't you?" Mayor Bob Benz asked during a city council meeting. Benz spoke as members discussed whether to overturn 1987 laws that ban topless sunbathing and thongs. The council will vote on the matter at a later date. "It's part of my campaign to get rid of stupid laws," said Benz, who admits to skinny-dipping occasionally. "There's certainly no lack of evidence that we do not enforce these laws. "You see plenty of thong bikinis and, to a fair degree, topless women on the beach - evidence that it's time to get rid of the law." Councilman Sam Edgerton dismissed the mayor's proposal as a joke. "It makes for a good show, but I don't think that would be seriously considered," he said.
Not again... -- Sharkey @ 4:16 pm
The Daily Buzz reports that digital effects artist Kevin Braun says there are 17 shots in the first three Star Wars movies that George Lucas isn't entirely happy with, and that may well be corrected or replaced when the trilogy is next re-released. None of the Star Wars films have been released in DVD format yet, but when they are, they may have Braun's new shot of Ben Kenobi's death inserted in place of the old one. That old bitch won't ever be happy with the movies. Next thing you know he'll want to digitally stick Jar-Jar into the original trilogy for comedic relief.
Sex, Pie, and Rock n' Roll -- Saigon John @ 3:49 pm
Sex
Yes, I advocate sex. Lots and lots of it. Especially with a steaming slice of tasty pie. Remember to practice safe slicing.
Pie
Yes, I advocate Pie. I even advocate genetically created/altered/enhanced Pie. I've made a practice of sampling every type of slice out there (even the crust). Pie in any way, shape, form, position, or topping. Give me Pie, or give me a Microslut 'upgrade.'
Rock n' Roll
No, I never said I advocated using mind altering substances... I certainly don't advocate smoking or drinking or listening to rap music. All of which are LEGAL mind altering substances.
| Friday, May 28, 1999 |
Hmmm... -- Sharkey @ 11:15 pm
I'd just like to say that the views of Saigon John are not necessarily those of BadAssMoFo.com. We do not condone the use of mind altering drugs, whether it is to get pie or not. Do what you want. Although I will say that I just woke up right now, and fell asleep about fifteen minutes after my last post, which was...8 hours ago. That's what happens when you down a whole lot of Ny-Quil to kill that cold.
New Article -- Saigon John @ 5:35 pm
The votes are rolling in. So far it looks like the majority want:
1) The MoFo's Guide to Getting Fried (Mind Altering Drugs)
2) Pie in Movies
3) How Pie and Drugs interract.
No one wants anything to do with the stale pie thing...that's a good sign.
New stuff -- Sharkey @ 2:47 pm
Well, looks like I've got a new MoFo's Guide, and some content to throw into the sections there tonight. And what do we have here? Gary Coleman sent me his latest article yesterday. Stick around for the coolness.
Drinkin' and Denny's -- Sharkey @ 2:41 pm
I've said it before and I'll say it again. Dammit Mox! That guy is a fuckin' riot drunk. We were at Grandmaster B's house partying and at around 7:30 this morning we went to Denny's. Grandmaster B's girlfriend was sober, and she dropped us off and left. We're walking inside and Mox starts pointing and yelling to these chicks walking in front of us. Then when we get inside, he asks the waiter if we can sit next to them. Mox was looking the menu up and down for alcohol. When the waitress asked him what he wanted to drink, he said, "I better just stick to orange juice for now." We started bustng up. Mox was yelling shit, and eating hash browns with his hands. Then he took his damn orange juice and started pouring it out on the table.
After breakfast came, Mox started drunkedly conversing with the chicks that he was yelling at. They had just finished a five hour drive from Phoenix. Mox asked if they wanted some beer. They cheerfully declined. He saw this old couple in the corner, and he told one of the chicks that if she danced with the old man he'd dance with the old woman. Once again, he was shot down.
After we ate, Grandmaster B says "Hey, why don't you pretend to fall and tell them you're gonna sue". So naturally Mox does it, and starts yelling in pain and shit. Everyone was staring, it was fucking funny. On the way out, he goes into the bathroom, then comes back out completely soaking wet, and says "Do NOT go in there!" We ran outta there right quick.
While we were waiting for our ride, Mox starts messing with these construction worker guys that were inside. Three of them pile out of a truck and ask what the fuck is wrong with him. We say he's messed up, so please ignore him. They got all pissed and took off, but as they were leaving Mox flipped them the bird, so they flipped a bitch and came right back. I turned around to tell Mox to run, but he's already gone. The driver runs up to me and is all "Where's your pussy friend man?". Sure, I'll tell you so you can go beat the shit out of his drunk ass. Me and Grandmaster B are just trying to keep them from finding Mox. The other two guys get out of the truck, and they're both pissed too. I'm like, damn, I can't take on this many assholes in my present condition, and Mox ran off like a sissy bitch, so he'll be no help. Luckily B's girlfriend showed up, and Mox hid until those guys drove away.
What a riot. That Mox is one funny mofo when he's drunk. He's probably still all wet too.
Next Article -- Saigon John @ 7:30 am
This is where I let you, the viewer tell me, the old bastard, what you want to read. Please mail me with which of the following you prefer:
1) Pie in Movies
2) My love afair with stale pie.
3) Pie on T.V.
4) Mind altering drugs.
5) Faux Pie part Deux - Banana Cream Pie
OK, no bananna cream pie on my site dammit. And I personally don't really want to think about stale pie. Ever. *Shudder*. Look ho, you made me shudder with revulsion twice in a 24 hour period. I hope you're happy. --Sharkey
| Thursday, May 27, 1999 |
News Posters -- Sharkey @ 8:13 pm
I've had a couple of people asking who these new posters are. Well, they're actually not new, they're just less lazy than before. I'm friends with each one of them (haven't met Gary Coleman yet, but hope to soon) and are all funny people. Therefore they are given news posting rights. I'm going to whip up a little bio page, but for now, here's a guide to MoFo people, in alphabetical order.
Posters:
Bud -- Music reviewer, could kick your ass.
Gary Coleman --Writes articles, former star of Diff'rent Strokes.
Mr Mabs -- Movie reviewer, A-hole, and he knows it.
Saigon John -- Crotchety old bastard. Dangerously close to having posting rights revoked if he discusses Stevie Nicks again. *Shudder*
Sharkey -- Me
Wags -- Friend for years, stupidly signed up for the military, stuck in Guam.
Oh, and if you see us speak of Mox, just know that he looks like TV's James Van DerBeek, and according to Mabs his mom is a lesbian hooker.
ET Come Home -- Saigon John @ 11:42 am
For those of you who didn't know while ET may have been in a Spielberg movie - it was still a Jim Henson muppet. We've spotted several other Henson critters in TPM. The Jedi Councilmember with the white face, beard, and peaked forehead is from Neverending Story.
Has anyone spotted any other Henson oldies?
Happy B-Day -- Saigon John @ 11:38 am
For some odd and unusual reason (caught in a tractor beam maybe) I feel impelled to say happy birthday to Stevie Nics, lead singer of Fleetwood Mac. Her sultry voice keeps her from sliding from stale to crust.
God help me - someone douse me with cold water...
Good Lord, Stevie Nicks is crust if I ever saw it. How old is she, sixty? And wasn't she a coke whore? --Sharkey
Death from above -- Sharkey @ 5:31 am
Ok, we've all wanted one since Back to the Future part 2. No, not a hoverboard, I mean a flying car. Here's an ABCNews article that discusses how the flying car is almost here. It's been under development for over 30 years, and could be mass produced to retail at $60,000 and would go up to 370 MPH. (Sweeeet)
This is how God wants us to weed out the tards, I'm sure of it. All those jackholes who talk on the phone, eat, and cut you off all at the same time will be no match for the effects of physics and gravity.
iBook -- Sharkey @ 5:21 am
Well, as if making flavor-colored desktops trendy wasn't bad enough, now they're making them into notebooks. Taiwanese PC builder Alpha Top Corp. is to build Apple's upcoming iBook consumer-oriented notebook. The deal is part of Apple's plan to increase the number of Macs manufactured by third parties on its behalf.
The iMac-styled notebook will ship for under $1500, only a little higher than the iMac itself. How many tards will we see on flights with lime colored laptops? Do me a favor, steal their honey-roasted peanuts.
Bud owns at 1080 -- Sharkey @ 5:11 am
He may not be able to pull of the mighty 1080, but Bud still owns at that game. I used to rule everyone at that game, can't explain where it went. I hadn't played that game in around a year, since it came out. Damn veering. GAAH.
Crapitty crap-crap -- Sharkey @ 5:01 am
Ok, how come nobody told me about my Mike MIA post going up 3 times? People come here and expect to see multiple posts? Amd where the hell is Mike anyway? The man had time to sit in line for Star Wars for nearly two weeks, he can't be that busy.
| Wednesday, May 26, 1999 |
Mike is MIA -- Sharkey @ 10:02 pm
Mike, Mr Mabs and I want to know where the hell you are. Mike went missing some time after Star Wars. Have you seen this man?
Your job awaits you sir.
Missing print found -- Sharkey @ 3:40 pm
The print of Star Wars that was stolen in Wisconsin last week was recovered. The two men who stole it turned themselves in. Read the CNN article.
Set your VCR -- Sharkey @ 11:22 am
TPM will bypass cable networks completely and will air on Fox sometime in November 2000.
Producer Rick McCallum also reported that Episode II's budget will be somewhere around $100 million.
Giving away beer is illegal -- Mr Mabs @ 2:21 am
A California appeals court has ruled that giving away free beer to bar patrons is illegal, which is a common promotional tactic by the big-league beer companies.
This really messes up our next contest, which was going to involve free beer and nudity. (female only, please)
Prozac infomercial -- Mr Mabs @ 2:15 am
The makers of Prozac have produced a 30 minute infomercial on the wonder that is Prozac. The commercial is aimed at women, and will air in the middle of the night and on weekends when marketers beleive that more depressed people will be watching.
Disneyland disarms video games -- Mr Mabs @ 2:12 am
The Times Reports:
Responding to criticism aimed at violent video games after the school shooting in Littleton, Colo., Disneyland has pulled the plug on several coin-operated arcade games in which players shoot at human targets.It goes on to say that 30 or more games were removed from the park.
US counterintelligence sucks -- Sharkey @ 2:09 am
In case you haven't yet heard about the Cox report, China has supposedly gotten ahold of all our nuclear weapons technology. Here's the CNN article on how we botched it and what we plan to do about it.
| Tuesday, May 25, 1999 |
Boycotts of the week -- Mr Mabs @ 10:43 pm
McDonalds: If I have to eat one more Happy Meal due to my girlfriend wanting the beanie babies I'm going to puke.
Taco Bell: If I have to eat any more shitty mexican food for Star Wars game pieces, I'm going to puke.
Pizza Hut: Same as Taco Bell.
KFC: Getting repetitive here...
Hasbro: Just because Lucas is a greedy bastard. Only a one-day boycott though, because tomorrow is payday and them figures kick ass.
New random thoughts -- Mr Mabs @ 8:14 pm
Why are we forced to work when the NHL playoffs are on TV dammit! And BTW, the Colorado Avalanche suck. Mike Modano is a pretty boy. Theo Flurry needs a good dentist. Patrick Roy has tourettes.
Why are baseball games so damn slow. Why does it take an hour for the last minute and a half of a basketball game to go by? God, the Lakers suck. Chick Hearn is annoying no matter what you say.
Don't remove your memory card. You gotta love that post if you're a golie. Mox's mom is a lesbian hooker. My socks don't match my pants today. Mox is still hungry. In a hypothetical situation, if Mabs were Mox and Grandmaster B's boss, would they listen to him? No. Can Mabs' ego get any bigger? He refers to himself in the third person now, so I doubt it.
The first rule of fight club, you do not talk about fight club.
Random thoughts from Mabs -- Mr Mabs @ 8:01 pm
Hey Shlonglor & the rest of you SW fans....
Reality ----- MovieGet a grip and move on with your life. Yes, I loved it, it was a good movie. But it was just that, a movie.
Reality ----- Movie
Reality ----- Movie
AOLers -- Sharkey @ 7:28 pm
Hey, someone told me that since we started using the news posting script everything is underlined in AOL's browser. Any AOL users have any input on this?
Get schooled by Lucas -- Sharkey @ 5:26 am
The Presidio in San Francisco would be the scene of a new school for special effects created by Star Wars creator George Lucas. A digital training institute, a visual effects archive, a 15-acre lawn and a caf� would go up on the 213-acre plot. --The Daily Buzz
Intel trademarking loop -- Sharkey @ 5:24 am
According to The Register, Intel is on crack. They are trying to trademark the loop that goes around the Intel Inside logo. I didn't know you could trademark a circle. Is the Nike swoosh trademarked?
How Sega could win -- Sharkey @ 5:19 am
Don't get all huffy, I doubt it'll happen. Sega has a track record for dumb mistakes. But Sony is the new guy, so they could end up screwing themselves over. First, heres a ZDNN article on how the emotion engine may be too powerful to be cost effective. I doubt Sony would be dumb enough to release PS2 for more than $300. I mean, sure, I'd buy it. But would the average gamer? Doubtful. Would the kiddies? Double doubtful. Sega needs two things: cheap price and third party support. They seem to have latched onto that first one according to this article, which states that the Dreamcast may drop to 19,800 yen ($160 US) on June 24th. Also, with Nintendo using gay names like Dolphin for their next-gen systems, Sega may have one less competitor.
| Monday, May 24, 1999 |
TPM won't sink Titanic -- Sharkey @ 7:48 pm
A shame, a real shame. In this DEN article they discuss why TPM's hefty $105 million 5-day total (they say 102.7) won't be enough to knock out the reigning champ. I enjoyed TPM much more than Titanic. It took me 5 months to go see that movie, and only because of the destruction and Kate Winslet's uhhh...feminine charms. Yeah, that's it.
How Nice...... -- Wags @ 7:12 pm
I have a reason, now to be on Guam. Since we are so close to Japan we get a lot of Japanese and American titles(games) before it reaches the states. I have seen the FF collection in stores and as soon as I get enough money I gonna get that S.O.B. It's too bad that Sharkey and the rest of the crew will have to wait...for a few more months.
Wags, you may be able to get the Japanese version, but nobody has the damn US version. I can get the Japanese version, but my Japanese isn't very good (practically non-existent). I gotta go over to Square and ask when the hell they plan on releasing that thing. I wonder if they've got a beta yet? Hmm... -- Sharkey
Final Fantasy IX -- Sharkey @ 3:03 pm
The Gaming Intelligence Agency has a great article on Square's secretive addition to the FF series. Supposedly this will be a "gaiden" title such as FF Tactics, and not necessarily a sequel in the series. Oh well, the more FF, the better, no matter what form it takes. And where is my FF Collection dammit!
TPM box-office records -- Sharkey @ 2:50 pm
Phantom Menace has made over $105 million since its premiere May 19 but some analysts had predicted a 5-day gross of $120 million to $140 million. It was the fastest movie to hit $100 million and set an opening day record of $28.5 million.
Phantom Menace made $61.8 million its opening weekend-falling far short of the record $72.1 million debut of The Lost World: Jurassic Park, estimates show. (CNN)
Mabs isn't lazy -- Sharkey @ 5:22 am
I knew Mabs would get whiny when I ragged on his lack of posts. He's a real busy sum'beech what with Star Wars and all. No, I can't tell you why. I know he's been working on a lot of stuff to put up. I appreciate that my cushy job can be a lot easier than your cushy job.
Thanks -- Sharkey @ 5:14 am
Special thanks to my mother, who, out of the goodness of her heart, bought me a bunch of Star Wars toys. Moms rule. Of course, as soon as I received them I was on a quest to get the rest of the cool characters. I was doing my best to wait until payday too. I want to buy a spare Mace Windu and give him a fro'. (Tip o' the hat to Solosier)
| Sunday, May 23, 1999 |
Hart dies on live TV -- Sharkey @ 11:23 pm
Whoa! And you thought pro wrasslin' was fake! Owen Hart died at a wrestling event tonight in Kansas City, Mo. after falling 50 feet to the floor. He was making an entrance on a wire which was supposed to lower him slowly to the ring. The crowd thought that it was a stunt at first, but it soon became clear that Owen was not faking. Read the CNN story. Special thanks go to Eric Cartman for this story
E3 stuff -- Sharkey @ 11:18 pm
See, if Wags had actually been here instead of in Guam, we both would've gone to E3. But no, Wags decided to piss off to BFE for four years. Oh well, at least that ho will be back this summer.
What the hell? -- Wags @ 10:19 pm
Got an e-mail from a buddy that went to E3 this year and when I saw the damn photos I was pissed. I mean not only did he play the games of tomorrow, but he also got to see the hottest little honeys this side of the globe! Of all places why a damn island?
Just cuz you asked -- Sharkey @ 8:25 pm
Just for those who asked....
Boba Fett is on Tattoine, just after Sebulba knocks Jar-Jar around. As they walk away, it cuts to Sebulba biting the head off of some creature, and Boba (or someone wearing Mandolorian armor) walks by extremely close to the camera. He's out of focus, but you can make him out easily.
The E.T.'s are in the Senate, after Amidala calls for the vote of no confidence watch the bottom left of the screen. Wookies are right above them.
Coolness achieved -- Sharkey @ 3:38 pm
Ahh...I see it works. Good. But now I need to find another reason to smash something. Hey, has anybody seen a picture of Kathy Griffin that would be suitable for the pieclopedia? If you could send me a link to a good one, that would be great.
Test Post -- Sharkey @ 2:33 pm
This is a test post, and it better work or I'm going to go agro and smash things. You have been warned.
Random Thoughts -- Sharkey
I'll be working at making this site better for you and me (mostly me), so I probably won't
post much until later today. Until then, here are random thoughts for you to enjoy
| Saturday, May 22, 1999 |
Just a few thoughts -- Gary Coleman
Thanks to everyone who e-mailed me. And yes, my new article will be out this coming week.
Now I was watching T.V. over at my friend's house, and he's got Comedy Central and Cartoon
Network. We were watching Cartoon Network, and they said that my old cartoon, "The
Gary Coleman Show" would be on at 1AM. Sure enough, it was on. It's been a long time
since I've seen those. Recording those shows were a pain in the ass, and now almost 2
decades later it's sold to syndication on cable. And you know what the worst part is? I
don't see a damn dime of that. Oh well, at least I'm remembered. Anybody watch that show
anymore?
Mac crashing -- Sharkey
Apparently it wasn't the mouseover effects or JavaScript, so lets try the one piece of
Java left on the page. Does it still crash?
Why God invented the mute button --
Sharkey
I mistakenly tuned in to MTV during the day yesterday, and a music video by Jennifer Lopez
came on. Now, don't get me wrong, she's hot. We can't deny that. But the woman has no
musical talent. The song was a fetid pile of horse dung. I hope we don't have to endure
another one.
On another musical note (no lame pun intended), Cher has some new video out. Now I distinctly remember banning her from ever making another video. She not only didn't listen, but she put an iMac in the brief few seconds of the video that I endured. You know, I actually liked Sonny Bono, why couldn't it have.....No. I won't go there. <Mute><Mute><Mute>
| Friday, May 21, 1999 |
Grape color compliance -- Sharkey
Alright Mac users, try that. If it still crashes, let me know, there's only one thing left
that could be crashing it. As you can see, the swank mouseover effects are now gone, don't
worry, they'll be back. This is merely a test. I must know what crashes the Mac. It is
with this knowledge that I will cripple all worldwide Macs! Sad Macs for ALL!
Lieberman, sworn enemy -- Sharkey
Lieberman is my sworn enemy, (well, him, Richard Blade and Rob Liefeld) and should be the
enemy of all hardcore gamers. The man has some messed up views, and at one point took on
the gaming industry. He's the guy responsible for the rating system on games that nobody
pays attention to. Well, his new
plan to protect children from the effect of media violence passed unanimously in the
Senate last week. He wants to put more responsibility on the entertainment industry.
GAAH!!
Why can't we regulate parents? How many tards must litter the Earth with their dumb offspring before somebody notices? I remember when I was a kid and I watched a violent show, my parents would change the station. If a movie had too many expletives, we'd leave the theatre. Parenting used to be a full-time job. What happened to those days?
I'll tell you what happened. Jackasses like Tipper Gore happened. Crap like the v-chip happened. Most parents don't want to have to filter what their child ingests, they want something (or someone) to do it for them, these days. (Like the entertainment industry.)
It's pretty sad when you think about it, too, because letting the parents forfeit day-in day-out guiding of their children isn't going to accomplish anything. Most parents back in the day would have said something like 'You don't need to see that, you're too young to understand, and it's wrong.' at least giving the child the impression that (for example) hijinks like spraying a crowd of kids with an AK might seem like fun at first, but might turn out to be a bad idea b/c 'it's wrong.'
And then, there's this to think about. If parents aren't parenting, who is? Do we want the government doing it for us? WTF is the GOVERNMENT going to teach kids? Will this lead to an eventual 'Young Liberty Club' where groups of kids as young as four are rousted out of bed each morning to go to loyalty class down at the local 'public' school? Don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE the United States of America, and I consider it a signal honor to be a citizen, but most days I hate the government along with 99.5% of the rest of the citizenry. (Hottie pie excluded.)
And finally, for you parents who sit there wondering what went wrong with your child, why you don't understand him/her, why you didn't see it coming, whatever 'it' was/is...
WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU?
Q3 Test -- Sharkey
I can't get a ping lower than 350. It boots me off after a couple of minutes, which sucks
ass. I know I've said it before, but I NEED A CABLE MODEM!! Other than that, the game
looks great.
Woo-hoo! Weekend -- Sharkey
Kick ass. Go to the import game shops, the comic shop, maybe swing by the theatre and
catch that movie everyone's talking about.
Lucas on PS2 -- Sharkey
Here's a good article that summarizes Ebert's interview with Lucas regarding the new
PS2. George seems quite impressed by Sony's new system.
Site inquiry -- Sharkey
OK, Mox told me that this site crashes on Macs after trying to leave, and I got another
e-mail backing this up. Any of our Mac visitors care to give me any info? Any ideas as to
what causes this?
Last TPM post (I hope) -- Sharkey
Roosh was mentioning in his review about how he wished Darth Maul had spoken at the end of
the movie. I feel it's perfect the way it is. During the final battle, he's just this
silent badass. If he were to speak, it would've ruined the feel of the battle completely.
What would he have said anyway? "Hey, Jedi guys, I'm gonna skewer your ass and then
go boff your mothers!" I can't think of one thing he could have said to make that
scene any better. However, I do beleive he should have spoken more during
the film, just not that particular scene (He kicks SO much ass). Word is
that he'll be back in Ep. 2, and the rumor is that he will be cloned, sparking the
infamous "clone wars". It works, think about it.
And in Star Wars news, the movie did not break the $30 million opening day mark as expected, but it kicked the shite out of The Lost World (which should've stayed lost) with a record-breaking $28.5 million. (Daily Buzz)
Oh, and the Vader breathing is on the film. I couldn't hear it because the damn crowd was too loud. Basically you have to get next to a speaker, or get the projectionist to turn that thing up.
| Thursday, May 20, 1999 |
Crusty Psychic -- Sharkey
Paula Jones' Celebrity Psychic Network seems doomed to failure according to this article.
Country singer? Please no, the only country singer I don't despise is Shania Twain, and
that's because I can mute the TV.
Mmm...Natalie -- Sharkey
Here's a nifty CNN article on this fine slice of Forbidden
Pie.
Do not open until June 9th...
Tips on life -- Sharkey
Here's a tip. When that Britney Spears video comes on, hit the mute
button. Now enjoy the visuals and ignore the fact that she has no musical talent
whatsoever.
Went again -- Sharkey
Ok, this was the third time seeing TPM. No, I'm not a fanatic, the first time was an
advance screening, and one was with family and the other with friends. Only at the
advanced screening did I hear Vader breathe. The other showings went silent. I thought
that it might have been cut off, so I asked a projectionist I knew about it. He got all
intrigued by it and really checked it out. Nada. That sucks, it was cool. And now a few
words from our sponsors:
The Austin Powers and Bid Daddy trailers kick ass, the Wild Wild West and Titan AE trailers suck ass. Mr. Mabs and I both agree, Titan AE has the worst trailer ever. Film companies eagerly chopped up thier trailers to fit into Fox's one-minute timeframe, and meanwhile Fox dishes out that garbage. I wonder if Fox ordered that to go on all prints?
The movie was still phenominal, even the third time. Someone noticed that ET is in the movie. Right after some Wookies cheer, a group of ET's come onscreen. Warwick Davis is in the movie too, not that you have to pay attention to see him. Also, I noticed that the movie has some of the worlds worst extras. During the podrace, the crowd in the stands goes nuts, and this fat chick extra is just not happy to be there. Nitpicky you say? She's right in the middle of the screen, so you're eyes are drawn to her. Everyone is looking one way and cheering, and she's looking the other way and going "yay". Edit that fatass out. I don't want to look at a fatass, I want to see Natalie, CGI, and lightsaber duels.
Unless of course you want to have Natalie take a lightsaber to the fatass. ;)
| Wednesday, May 19, 1999 |
End of TPM credits -- Sharkey
When I saw TPM last Saturday, something happened at the end of the credits, so I told
everyone to stick around. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to happen on any of the prints in
theatres now. Well, they showed an outtake where Mace Windu popped a cap in Yoda's ass.
Just kidding. When the curtains closed, Vader started breathing and it was fuckin creepy. Anybody else hear it? Maybe it was just on that one print.
Forbidden pie -- Sharkey
Respondents to a new international poll said they'd rather see Queen Amidala in bikini
over Princess Leia. With 15,000 voters on the poll conducted by Bikini.com, 64% chose
Natalie Portman's character from the Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace over
Carrie Fisher's character from the first three movies. Go to www.bikini.com to cast your vote!
I'll tell you why, Natalie is hotter and we've already seen Carrie in a bikini. Mmmm.....
The wait is over -- Sharkey
DON'T READ IF YOU
HAVEN'T SEEN IT!
Ahh, the coundown is gone, and the masses have spoken. Star Wars Episode 1 has reached
theatres. I think this is one of the finest movies I've seen in a long time. Darth Maul
kicks SO MUCH ASS! When he pulled out his lightsaber, lit up one end, smiled feindishly,
and lit up the other I nearly pissed myself. And the duel between him and Obi-Wan?
Beautifully choreographed. It gave me chills. And never before have I wanted a seventeen
year old girl so much. Natalie Portman is insanely hot. The movie is just badass. Yes,
Jar-Jar is annoying, the relationship between Amidala and Anikin is kind of corny, and
perhaps the movie is a tad rushed. None of this matters in the long run. This movie kicks
ass.
If anyone didn't like it, e-mail me with your comments. Unless of course you hated it because Jar-Jar sucks ass. If he really ruined it for you then you are an anal retentive tard. All those critics who trashed it are sheep. It's trendy to hate Lucas, and to trash Star Wars. Well screw you, this is one entertaining ride.
We can't really rate this movie since there's two more parts we haven't seen. But still, what an end battle! And the political aspects were really cool, Palpatine's rise to power was well crafted. I give this movie the badass-thumbs up, and I can't wait to see it again.
Wild wild crap -- Sharkey
Please, don't go see Wild Wild West this summer and support that jackass Will Smith. The
only reason Hollywood puts out garbage like this is because people go and see it! And if I
ever hear that "wicky-wicky-wild wild west" song again Smith is losing his
kneecaps.
Contest is over -- Sharkey
Ahh, our first contest is officially over. Our winner is David T. Kuchler. Congratulations
to Dave for figuring out that those symbols are katakana for Pa-i, which translates to
"pie". I'll let you know what David wins when we actually decide.
| Tuesday, May 20, 1999 |
Contest -- Sharkey
No fair if you speak Japanese. What do the symbols underneath MOFO in the sidebar image
mean. I'll figure out something swank for the winner.
Question -- Sharkey
Does this site take too long to load? It never takes more than seven to ten seconds or so
for me, but what about you? And does anybody hate the frames? I smell a slight redesign
coming....
Roosh's editorial -- Sharkey
A well thought out piece to say the least. Roosh is right, there are way too many sites
popping up, with no real content. If you have a look over at Hear Ye!'s sidebar, you'll
see that it has quadrupled in size in just a couple of months! Most of these sites have no
content besides whatever they can scavenge from News.com or Reuters stories. It's sad,
because when I find something that I think you guys might enjoy reading about, I find that
the guy who just asked me for a link posted the same thing.
This site existed in two previous incarnations. Maybe a couple of you remember when I ran electricmainline.com, and it's predecessor Sharkey's Haunt. I've been around on the web for a couple of years, and the idea of BadassMoFo has as well. Does that make us any better than any other site? No. I like to think that people come here because we have content to enjoy. If I'm wrong, let me know.
I don't give links to get more hits. Yes, I want more people to read the site, but not to stroke my ego, and certainly not for money, it's because deep down I want to entertain people. I give links because I like being a nice guy, and don't want to seem like some high and mighty dick. Only the sites that I visit regularly go into that bar on the right. Sites that entertain me, and that I hope will entertain you.
Obi Wan game to be released -- Sharkey
The latest Episode I title was confirmed by LucasArts at E3 last week. Obi Wan will cast
gamers as the young Ewan McGregor portrayed character when the game ships early next year.
Very little else was given away by the company at the press conference, other than the
fact that a brand new engine will be used.
Poll shows US has bad manners --
Sharkey
Bad manners? At least we don't stink or run from any confrontation, because then we'd be
the French.
[ABCNews]
Wondering -- Sharkey
Do we have any female readers? I try not to be too offensive to the ladies. If you are a
proud female BadassMoFo.com reader, we'd like to know. (And see some proof, no guys
pretending dammit!)
Pie -- Sharkey
Today's slice comes to us from Wales, and her butt is currently starring in the actionless
action flick "Entrapment". Thanks to Zeffe for the sweet pie action:
You guys rule -- Sharkey
Wow, I didn't know so many people liked us. We seem to be quite high on the poll, and it's all
thanks to you guys. Got quite a few recipies for the MoFo's Guide to cooking as well, and
tried a couple out too. Keep sending them in, new recipies kick ass.
Countdown -- Sharkey
According to the ol' countdown, there's only 18 hours left until Star Wars is out. It's
about friggin' time. I'm really glad it didn't suck, it would've been a shame to see Lucas
castrated. You guys go see it, soak in the greatness, and we'll come back to it tomorrow
and discuss. Feel free to e-mail me with your comments on it. I want to know how everyone
felt about it. I know how most will feel. About fifteen minutes after you leave you will
feel quite depressed that you must wait years until you see more.
| Monday, May 17, 1999 |
Frus needs to calm down -- Sharkey
When did Frustrated lose all
common sense? She went off for half a page on how Solosier's women bashing section, which
is just a collection on chauvinist jokes that we've all had forwarded to us at some point.
Yeah, they're sexist, but it's humor. As in: Not to be taken seriously. Any man who says
such things seriously knows that he won't be having any pie for a long while. Click here to hear my opinion
on Frus' latest actions.
Poll back to normal -- Sharkey
Sorry everyone, but the last time everything got all jacked up. Please go and vote again,
and pie will be distributed freely to all.
http://www.digitalsquirrel.com/en-vote/
Gaming news -- Sharkey
Tecmo is going to release a long awaited addition to the Ninja Gaiden series for the PS2.
Since the series isn't that big in Japan, expect a US-release only.
InterAct is to release an add-on system which will enable owners of PlayStation and N64 to go online. Entitled Shark Wire, it contains a hardware kit that includes a specially designed console modem, keyboard, and phone line, all designed to connect to the online community of direct interest to gamers. The software required is pre-programmed into the modem cart, the keyboard and phone cords plug into the same cart and the game controllers act as the 'mouse'. Shark Wire Online will be available this Fall for $80 with basic subscriptions of $10 a month.
Links -- Sharkey
Here are some links for you to check out:
Broken Links
Colorless Green Void
Salty Dog
One e-mail? -- Gary Coleman
I work for hours on my article and all I get is one e-mail from the guy in the Star Wars
line? Come on, people, you can do better than that. By the way, where is everyone seeing
it at? Maybe we'll be at the same theatre. Also, I was playing Laser Tag today (Red 18
baby!) and got my first perfect game. Eat that blue team!
Lame -- Sharkey
A few things that suck:
Just thought I'd share these things with you. Don't get me wrong, I lead a pretty good life. Those things just make the day less great.
Poll -- Sharkey
Hey, whoever voted us in the above-trillion range, e-mail me. Looks like someone was able
to break it Squirrel! Note that Frus is in the negative. Kinda ironic, or sardonic if you
will. She's been kind of negative for a long time.
Mmm... -- Sharkey
Tried out a couple of the recipies you guys sent in for the MoFo's Guide to cooking. Keep
sending them in to me! In fact, if anyone has any ideas for MoFo's Guides or anything that
would generally improve your BadAssMoFo.com experience, please feel free to e-mail me. Also feel free to tell twenty or so
of your friends to visit daily. ;-)
Sticky Zone shut down -- Sharkey
<Sigh>...Another one bites the dust. RIP Sticky.
| Sunday, May 16, 1999 |
Andy Groves' office -- Sharkey
Ever wonder what Andy Groves actually does? Here's a nifty java applet that lets you do a full 360-degree scan of his office.
Zoom in and see if you can read any important memos. Let me know if you ever see him in
there, lazy bastard has been gone for days.
Out of context -- Saigon John
When Forbidden Pie ripens and is ready to be
taken hot and steaming from the pie case; we turn to Brian Wilcox's advice on how to cut that first slice. (88Kb .wav)
Here he shows us the proper way to hold the slice
Help your fellow MoFo -- Sharkey
Alrighty, it's time for you, the distinguished bamf reader, to contribute to the
next MoFo's Guide. The BadassMoFo's Guide to Cooking. Send in
your favorite recipies, and if it sounds good, we'll eat it. (We had much fun with the
beers) Any one who's recipe is picked will get credit, so mail me with your finest culinary masterpieces.
Boycott Jalepenos --
Mr. Mabs
Anyone here live in Irvine (besides Shlonglor)? Then you may know about Jalepeno's Mexican
restaurant. I went in and ordered a burrito, no beans, just steak and cheese. I ordered
two tacos, same way. I watch them make the food, and they're stuffing beans in the
burrito, so I ask if it's my food. They say yes. I say, "I said no
beans". They point to the owner, who says, "No, you said with beans". I
say, "No I didn't". He gets all pissed off and tells me that I have to eat it
that way. I get pissed off and tell him to refund my money. He tells me to fuck off..
After arguing, and getting my money back, he told me not to come back. I saw them spraying
Windex right on the glass which spilled into the salsa, along with many other health code
violations. I told him to have fun with the health board. We are now officially boycotting
Jalepenos. Don't eat there, they suck.
Polly wanna get nuked? -- Sharkey
A University of Wisconsin student has been charged with cooking a parrot alive in a
microwave oven, apparently to get revenge against a fellow-student. Apparently Chad
Alvarez, 23, got into an argument with another student over an e-mail chain letter, and
nuked his parrot "Iago".
I had to post this, because yesterday I got that chain e-mail where Disney & MS promise 5 grand or a trip to whomever forwards the e-mail. I looked through the hundreds of previous forwarders, and found one jackass who forwarded it to everyone in his office (hundreds of people), obviously hoping to get money. I e-mailed him pretending to be the prize comittee, and really made fun of him. I was really polite about it too, but he replied with some really nasty stuff. From work, no less. He works in some law firm, I think I might e-mail his boss. :P
Bleem finally out -- Sharkey
They finally posted the long-awaited .exe file. Head on over to the official bleem! site for more
information. For those of you who don't know, Bleem is a commercial Playstation emulator
for the PC, and a mighty good one I might add.
Am I the only one not at E3? -- Sharkey
I decided not to go this year because my buddies bitched out, but for cryin' out loud!
Seems they'll let anyone in nowadays! I remember back in the pre-game development days
when me and my friends used to plot to sneak in, and never did. Probably because they
moved it to Atlanta. Heh-heh. We were lazy ass bums.
Deep thoughts -- Sharkey
"When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven,
choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not, mmmmmmm, boy." -- Jack
Handey
I can't believe I never saw that one before.
It's a sickness -- Sharkey
Went back to work to put in some more overtime, and check on the precious servers. Saw Mr.
Mabs and Haus, and we couldn't spend 5 minutes without talking about SW. It was really
that good kids. Only two days and some-odd hours left before the goodness is shared by
all. Please tell me what you think once you've seen it.
| Saturday, May 15, 1999 |
Quake 3 -- Sharkey
Wow, this game rules. But I must say that it is starting to look an awful lot like Unreal.
The lighting effects, the way you move, it's all reminiscent of Unreal. I know, I know,
"It's a first person shooter, of course it'll resemble Unreal!". Just play it,
it's really a kickass game. Them jump pads rule! No more ladder deaths! I get a real high
ping....NEED CABLE MODEM!!
I saw Star Wars -- Sharkey
I won't give anything away, so read with confidence. The critics who say it sucks are all
wrong. This, my friends, was a BADASS movie. I can't even describe how chills run down
your spine during the lightsaber duels. Mr. Mabs went to see it too, and he's been saying
that it would be crap from the beginning, but he acknowledged that this movie was
fantastic. I can't wait to see it again. I'm actually pissed that I have to wait two years
to see what happens next. We'll have a real review after the 19th, which will go into more
detail. One tip: stay until the credits are over.
I'll scan in the way cool, Lucasfilm-watermarked ticket that they gave us soon.
Poor Mike -- Sharkey
Mike, the first guy in line at the Big Newport, was given a ticket to see SW Ep.1 today by
a Pepsi employee. He was stoked, but halfway through the movie, Jim Wooden decided to
throw him out. Why you ask? He said "because the tickets are non-transferable."
I think it's because he felt like being a bitch today. BTW, you can have a look at Mike in
this video clip.
Poll -- Sharkey
Wow, I swear I didn't rig that poll, and I gave us a 7. Last I checked we're the top site.
I don't know about best, but what do you think we deserve? E-mail me with your opinion on
this.
Pray -- Sharkey
Will I get in or won't I? I hope so. I'll let you in on what Im talking about later. Wish
me luck kids.
| Friday, May 14, 1999 |
Gimme some sugar baby -- Sharkey
Hey, there's a voting page over at digitalsquirrel on how good E/N sites are. I expect
higher than one or two points folks. Go here and vote now:
http://www.digitalsquirrel.com/en-vote/
Pizza bandits foiled -- Sharkey
Christopher James Kennedy, 38, and Johnny Allen Poston, 26, were charged with armed
robbery, the Florence County sheriff's department said. Police said the two gave their
home address as they ordered a pizza. "The delivery person got out carrying the
pizzas and they put a gun to his face," Lt. Julius Lee said. "So the delivery
person threw the pizzas at them, got back in his car and drove off." The delivery man
immediately called police, who did find the address. One suspect who answered the door
when deputies arrived was arrested. The other suspect showed up minutes later and also was
arrested, deputies said.
Whiz on your own wall, jerk -- Sharkey
So I had a late night at work, and I'm going over one of the second floor walkways and
this guy walks across below, and whips off his belt. I yell out "Don't whiz there
pal." and he replies, "I can't stop now!". Then he chuckles to himself. I
run downstairs to talk to this jackhole, and him and his buddies are all piss drunk. He
starts explaining himself, and tries for five minutes to justify pissing on the wall, at
which point I tell him to shut the hell up and get the hell off the premesis. Punk.
McKellan to play Magneto -- Sharkey
Ian McKellan will play Magneto in the X-Men movie. Boy, if that comic hadn't gone down the
crapper I might care. Bryan Singer will direct this doomed-to-failure pile of suck.
| Thursday, May 13, 1999 |
Meeting -- Saigon John
Met Sharkey this evening. Cool guy. Punched him for not putting Andie MacDowell in the
Dutch Apple section. Proved to him that my Kung Fu was MUCH better then his. Saw a picture
of Wags, no wonder the idiot joined the military (look who's talking). If I had a face
like that, I would bury it in the sands of Guam too. Saw the line for Star Wars at the
Spectrum in Irvine... No Comment. Mr. Birchum is silent. For now. BTW - I /am/ a forty-six
year old (give or take a few) ex-con freshman. I /like/ Strangers With Candy. I hated high
school, and the show makes fun of everyone I hated. Watch it with an open mind and a few
mind-altering brownies and you'll soon like it too.
Just so you all know, he hits like a sissy girl, even for the crotchety old bitch he is. Andie MacDowell stays Apple, because she is. Pie doesn't usually age well. Also, his kung fu may have been better at Puzzle Fighter (necessary rematch BTW), he can't compare to my superior kung-fu. And Strangers with Candy is the worst show on television, brownies or not. --Sharkey
Article by Saigon -- Sharkey
Saigon John decided to write up a review of The Mummy. I
read it, I don't agree with a lot of it, but hey, free speech and whatnot. Here's the most
interesting exerpt:
For the ladies out there this movie has - romantic love spanning the ages, sexy Egyptian men riding camels, lots of bared chests - and of course, Brenden Fraser. (Nuff said.)
Nuff said is right, I thought he was a pie eater, but you never can tell.
Titanic menus net $48,000 -- Sharkey
People are dumb. All that for a piece of paper from a fucking ship that sank? You know
what those menus would have cost before the movie was made? Few hundred bucks. Now that
Kate Winslet got nekkid and Leo DiCrappio turned into a popsicle? 48 grand. You know what
I'd buy with 48 grand? A ticket out of this messed up country away from these messed up
people. That, or I'd hire someone to get rid of 'em. Gary Coleman's got a gun, I bet he'd
do it for 48 G's.
Monica's book remaindered -- Sharkey
Good, I say. To those of you who never worked in a bookstore, this probably doesn't mean
as much. Lewinsky's book, a former bestseller, has become a remainder after only 2 and a
half months. This means that the publisher didn't give a shit about it anymore, and sold
remainder selling rights to a remainder company. The company gets all the back stock, and
sells the book for like 2 bucks apiece to the store. I worked in a damn bookstore for
years and now my knowledge has finally paid off. BTW, if any of you read that book,
(please don't let there be any) you can leave this site now. You deserve a swift kidney
punch.
Saigon John back -- Saigon John
Sharkey asked me to come back and throw my mojo around here and spread a little cheer. ...
I wanted to say 'Fuck You', but he's bribing me with movie tickets and a face to face
meeting. For those of you that care, I'm going to punch him before I talk to him, just to
get the point across that Andie MacDowell is Dutch Apple.
No she's not. Too old, not enough spice. -- Sharkey
New writer: Gary Coleman -- Sharkey
Well, we've got two new writers here, but I only have one of their articles on my home
machine, so the other one will go up tomorrow. Let me be the first to welcome Mr. Gary
Coleman to the site. Yes, that's right, Diffrent Strokes star Gary Coleman has agreed to
write for BadassMoFo.com. No, we're not kidding. His first article, titled "My ex co-stars can kiss my ass" can be found
in the articles section. If you want to reach Gary, we've set him
up with his own BadassMoFo.com e-mail address. You can reach him here.
More on the new Nintendo system --
Sharkey
These new systems are going to kick some mega ass. Have a look at the ZDNet article.
Song stuck in my head -- Sharkey
I said do you a speak a my langauge...He just smiled and gave me a
vegimite...sandwhich. And he said, I come from a land down under, where women glow and men
plunder. Can't you hear, can't you hear that thunder? You better run, you better take
cover.
I really want to take a vacation to Australia and New Zealand. Maybe this is due to that fact. Or maybe because the damn song was on the radio every day this week.
Pictures -- Sharkey
Took some digital photos of the massive line at the Big Newport. Huge-ass line. I also
conducted an interview with Mike, the first guy in line. I put up the most interesting
bit, click here to view it (375K). Also, I posted all
of the thumbnailed pics here.
Yes, thats a couch they're sitting on.
Tickets -- Sharkey
Yeah, I got tickets. I waited a whopping few seconds for them too. Screw waiting, I'm an
impatient asshole.
| Wednesday, May 12, 1999 |
Website names UK spies -- Sharkey
A former MI6 agent revealed the true identities of Secret Intelligence Service agents on a
public website today. Read the article. I wonder if I can find out the URL. Anybody have any
info?
Sleep... -- Sharkey
Crap, three hours of sleep in the last 40-some odd hours? I needs me sleep. Our new writer
wrote up an article, but I need sleep. He would understand. You can read when I wake up,
along with the short video and pics I took of the people in line for TPM. Oh, you want it
now? Well wanting ain't getting, I need sleep. How many time can I say sleep in one post?
I can't count now, need sleep.
Ratings system --
Mr. Mabs
Good, I needed to know specifically which films had violence and which ones had nudity. Read the
article.
Star Wars Madness -- Sharkey
People are nuts man. But hey, they gotta see Star Wars, they gotta wait in line. I spoke
with the guys at the front of the line at the Big Newport. They agreed to write a little
"life in the line" segment. So here it is:
Edwards Big Newport is the place to be for the new Star Wars movie, "The Phantom Menace". Well, over 700 people have lined up, and more line up at this very moment. Fans waiting for the box-office to open on Wednesday pass the time by playing card games, music, books or other, louder activities. Some dress like their favorite character, while others run around, madly waving toy lightsabers. Less frequent are fireworks, car accidents, and streaking skateboarders (non-female unfortunately). One thing that remains constant is the euphoria of B.O.
Nice guys, little crazy though. The line is starting to reek, glad I dont have to wait in it. :P
| Tuesday, May 11, 1999 |
Quake III Arena -- Sharkey
WOO HOO! If you go to aridin.com he
has some mirrors for the download. It supports the Voodoo3! Kick ass.
Star Wars lines -- Sharkey
They're getting bigger. It's crazy how many people are lined up. We walked down the line
at the Newport and there must be like 80+ people now.
A side note: a group of guys in line saw Mox and said "hey look, it's Dawson's Creek's James VanDerBeek!". Everybody laughed and Mox took it in pretty good humor. This will only make sense to people who know Mox, so otherwise just ignore it.
Video games bigger than movies -- Mr. Mabs
The LA Times has an article about
how video games are becoming bigger than the movie industry. Sony pulled in more from the
Playstation than their film, music, or electronics divisions last year. It also talks
about how egos have been rising due to the popularity of certain games. John Romero (Id)
was quoted as saying that he is a god. An excellent read.
| Monday, May 10, 1999 |
Al Gore is a bully -- Sharkey
Al Gore has been strong-arming IT leaders lately to promote moral decency on the net. He
can do what he wants, I mean, he created the Internet didn't he? Read more.
Star Wars on Guam -- Wags
If you must know the people here on monster island started lining up here too. Kinda sad
really cause I don't think they know that it is going to hit here a week late(I know,
pitty me). They also tried to start fight for places they don't even have, which in some
odd way is pretty damn cool. If you ask me the movie is going to kick ass and I will just
have to use the moves that only Big Daddy "Wags" can use. For those of you who
still insist on being in the front, remember a well placed elbow can hurt more than a
fist.
Geeks -- Sharkey
Well, they're already lining up at theatres. The Big Newport in Newport Beach got it's
first campers tonight. I always see openings there. Glad I don't have to camp out for a
week and a half though.
Watch the World Die -- Sharkey
Is back, hopefully for good this time. I'm putting the link back up, go visit his
newly redesigned site.
Drain -- Sharkey
Great site. If you still visit Shlonglor, then you've probably been there already. Go there anyway.
23 killed in bus crash -- Sharkey
[ Newsday ]
Where are my tax dollars going? -- Mr. Mabs
I pulled up to the car wash the other day, and who do I see pulling up behind me? None
other than Irvine's finest. Now this wasn't your four bucks with a fill-up car wash. This
was the wash, wax, vacuum and hand dry place. Not a place you'd like to see your tax
dollars spent. You'd think the cops would have to wash their own vehicles.
The Aquarium -- Sharkey
Went with the family to the Long Beach Aquarium. I went once before with some friends when
the place first opened, so it wasn't really anything new. It's a fun place to go. Very
interesting place to go if you've never been.
| Sunday, May 09, 1999 |
It's Mother's Day -- Sharkey
Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms out there. Special thanks go to all the Moms I know and
love. Wags, you best call up your mama or else she'll be upset my brotha.
Pie -- Sharkey
Just thought I'd give you all something to salivate over. Steaming and fresh from the pie
case, here's Rachel Weisz, the hottie from the mummy.
Just for all who didn't know, she was the other naked chick in Stealing Beauty.
My Kung Fu is the best -- Sharkey
As if you didn't know. I get the occasional test of my badass Kung-Fu, and it always
prevails. Same deal tonight. Don't be messin wit' da S-man, or else I be bustin out my Wu
Tang kung fu on yo' bitch ass.
| Saturday, May 08, 1999 |
Wipeout 3 -- Sharkey
Videogames.com has pictures and
info on Wipeout 3 for the PSX. Check
it out.
I'm the firesta-tah! Twisted firestah-tah!
Don't waste your life -- Wags
The military, it does put on quite a show. The comercials of the navy and fighter jets,
the marine corps the few the proud, and of course the army, be all that you can be....what
a crock of shit. The air force isn't that great, our commercial is piss poor. If you want
to see the world or do exciting things or even get money for college then get a damn job.
Joining the military is like signing a deal with the devil for 4 or 6 damn years of your
life. It's your damn life people don't just give it away, have fun, play with it and kick
much, much ass just because it's fun too.
What's funny about this post is the fact that I told Wags all of this before he left. Numerous times. Did he listen to me? No. And Wags' tour had better be for 4 years and not 6, or I'll have to put the smack down on his fro-wearin' ass. --Sharkey
Intel chips price drops -- Sharkey
On May 16, the PIII 550 comes out at $774. This, of course, will lower the price of all
other models (woo-hoo!) The 500MHz PIII will fall from $637 to $482, and the 450MHz
Pentium III from $411 to $268. The PII line will get even cheaper, and maybe I'll finally
plunk down the cash for my server (drool...)
Review: The Mummy -- Sharkey
Not at all what I expected. This film tried to cover too many bases at once. Instead of an
action/adventure flick, you get a humorous adventure flick that tries too hard to be
scary. The part that really pissed me off is the actual mummy himself. He was....lame. Way
lame. He can talk, isn't at all frightening, and even enlists the aid of a little wormy
guy. What fucking mummy with all those powers needs Urkel to go to bat for him? Go see it
if you're bored.
Review: Election -- Sharkey
This movie was worth seeing. Everyone in the movie is a prick, except for Paul, the dopey
guy. Matthew Broderick is in this one, and for once he's doing a damn fine job (since
Ferris, of course). He deserves every slap in the face in this movie, and he gets them
all. It's sad to see Ferris in such a pathetic position, because you kind of identify with
his situation. Reese Witherspoon is hot as always, and looking decidedly non-pregnoid in
this flick. Go see it before TPM forces it out of the theatres.
| Friday, May 07, 1999 |
Kosovo reflection -- Wags
This thing in Kosovo is really bad for everybody, a lot of refugees are coming to Guam for
shelter which mean only one thing....the damn army. I know the army is supposed to be full
of badasses but they're no different than the common dumbass. Lately a ship full of
Chinese immigrants was chased by the coast guard and crashed into the damn reef that
surrounds the island. No offense but I think that the damn driver was probably blind. How
the hell do you crash into 30 miles of coral reef? But hey I can say only one thing, I'm
glad I'm not Chinese.
I need CABLE MODEM!! -- Sharkey
I'm supposed to be getting hooked up with a cable modem, but I haven't heard from the guy
for a couple of weeks. Must...have...fibre....optic....connection.....
Minor Spoiler alert -- Sharkey
The post below contains interesting news, but the knowledge therein can be applied to SW
and constitute a spoiler. I must also say that it is a weak spoiler that if you couldn't
figure out from the trailer then you are a moron. You have been warned, highlight the post
at your own risk.
Liam Neeson retires -- Sharkey
Liam Neeson, who plays Qui-Gon in Star Wars Episode 1, is retiring from acting. He cited
that he is sick of the way Hollywood treats actors. That's sad, if anybody saw him in
Schindler's List, you know how good of an actor he can be.
PSX 2: $250? -- Sharkey
Reports from Japanese newswire services indicate that Sony will be making all efforts to
release the new PlayStation console for the suggested retail price of $250 (32,000 yen).
That's not much off of the Dreamcast's release price. Originally Sony said that the
console would be under 100,000 yen. $750? Not a wise maneuver. I think we all remember the
3DO, not to mention Philips CD-i.
Crap -- Sharkey
I just found out how Episode 1 ends. Son...of...a....bitch. I was cruising around some
sites I'd never seen before, and this complete ass posts that he's got some Episode 2
news. Well, he failed to mention that his post contained the ending to Episode 1, which
was necessary to explain the Ep. 2 news. At least now I know that if Mox tries to sing
that damn "Wild Wild West" theme song around me again I can just say, "Hey,
you know such and such happens in Ep. 1". Hear me Mox? I hate Will Smith and I hate
that song! Whoa, I got off topic there. Moving on....
| Thursday, May 06, 1999 |
Whoa -- Sharkey
I just saw one of those anti-drug commercials where the message was: Don't give in to peer
pressure. According to the commercial, four out of five kids don't smoke pot. That means
that 20% of kids out there do smoke pot. Statistics are fun, aren't they?
Links changes -- Sharkey
I took down Shlonglor until his site comes back. In his place are Propane news and Simpleminded.org. They seem to be
busting ass to make their sites shine, go there and enjoy.
Advice -- Wags
It's good to be back in the real world, the desert sucked. Let "Wags" tell you
something, if you're going to visit places outside the US, go to someplace that is worth
it, like Europe. If by some silly chance (must be damn stupid or damn drunk) you decide to
go to Guam, then you're out of your fuckin' mind. Even the drunks don't want to go here,
so if you by some chance do, then may God have mercy on your pathetic soul because you
will be in hell. Believe me I know, I'm there now.
Don Lapre road to success -- Sharkey
This guy is the most entertaining thing on TV. He's amazing. Apparently, I can make over a
quarter of a million dollars in just the first month! WOW! And if I purchase his wealth
building system (regularly $250) for the unheard of price of 39.95, he'll throw in a free
custom web site! Look at all the testimonials! All these people are rich and doing
nothing, I can be too! I need to call now!
The face of your new master
I think of Don as my personal hero. Screw my failed attempt at Scientology, this is the new road to success and well being!
Senate hearing: Violence in media --
Sharkey
Well, here comes the democratic (sure) response. Have a look at the Next Gen
story.
Uhh....WTF? -- Sharkey
Ok, when I used to work at the bookstore I was the magazine guy. And as such I always
ordered the good shit. One such title was FHM,
which stands for For Him Magazine. It's not porn, it's kind of a British version of Maxim.
Bitchin stuff, always a favorite around the store. Well, in this months issue I was
flipping back to the Health section, and an ad that I skimmed past caught my eye. I
flipped back a few pages and saw this vision of horror:
Click on image for larger version
Now one of my favorite manly mags is tainted.
| Wednesday, May 05, 1999 |
Star Wars -- Sharkey
How many times have you seen that headline? Well, in case you haven't heard, or missed my
post last week, last night was the exhibitor's screening of TPM. Mr Mabs could've gone,
and I'm sure I could've finagled my way in on my own, but neither of us went. Bummer (But
we'll still see it way before you, so envy away). We heard nothing but mixed reviews all
day, and as I can see online, it's the same thing. Every person said that the movie is
aimed towards kids and that Jar-Jar sucks ass.
Where are you? -- Sharkey
I like going through the logs and finding out where people come from. We always get a few
from NC State and Washington State Universities in the morning. We also get a few
delinquent Intel employees. If any of you guys can get me some discounted chipsets, hook
me up. I can make it worth your while. We also get a lot of delinquent Microsoft and
Lucasfilm employees. I shouldn't talk, I visit here more from work than I do from home.
World's worst snake charmer -- Sharkey
Hie Kerdchoochuay, 55, who was known in Bangkok for his snake charming skills, rushed to
his neighbor's house where a python had intruded. He quickly captured the snake and put it
in a sack. While walking home, some villagers asked to see the snake. He then wrapped the
python around his neck, and it promptly strangled him to death.
Dog ain't impressing me -- Sharkey
The other day I posted about my dog predicting earthquakes. Well, there were two the day
after, but they were teeny ones around 100 miles away, so I'm still not impressed. And the
dog still won't shut up, and this is the longest she's ever acted like
this. This could mean one of two things. A: My dog is being a tard or
B: The big one is coming and we're all dust. Either way, I won't be listening to that
crying shit outside my door.
I'm back -- Wags
Back and ready to kick ass. I am currently in Guam, where I am in control of billion
dollar equipment so I guess I shouldn't fall asleep. E-mail me if you want the lowdown on
Guam, Saudi Arabia, Italy or Spain.
Katie -- Sharkey
Updated the picture of my wife Katie Holmes in the dutch
apple section of the Pieclopedia. Thanks to Zeffe for the
mouth watering pic.
Wags -- Sharkey
Got a call from Wags tonight, and that mysterious mail was from him. He now has net
access, so he can update the site like the rest of us. He let me know that he will be
rejoining the BadassMoFo ranks soon.
My mail is down -- Sharkey
Necessary maintenence my ass.
Is Shlonglor a lemon? -- Sharkey
I dunno. I used to read his War2 page, and was glad to see Shlonglor.com start up, but
this is pretty lame. Some people are telling me that there's a possibility of the War2
page coming back, and that would kick much ass. I really hope this isn't some stupid
ass stunt to get more hits. If it is then me and Mabs are taking a trip down to Blizzard
and bitch slapping his ass. That reminds me, I've gotta ask Mabs how many people we know
that've gotten laid in that parking structure.
Watch the World Die: Dead -- Sharkey
KillKrazy lost his Internet access and had to shut down. That sucks, I really liked this
incarnation of WTWD. Rest in peace, Mighty Mighty KillKrazy.
| Tuesday, May 04, 1999 |
Wags back? -- Sharkey
I received a strange e-mail today:
I know where you live and I know where you work and I will find you....soon
This was to my ISP's e-mail account, and the reply address was in Guam. I can only hope that this signals the return of our oversees correspondent, and my longtime bro: Wags. Wags, in case you didn't know, wrote the short lived Bunker Journals. I hope them Air Force bastards let him have actual Net access this time.
Bud's hitched now -- Sharkey
I got word from Jen, Bud's wife (no longer fiancee') that the wedding went well, and Bud
and Mr. Mabs looked fantastic in thier tuxes. A strange thought, I've never had married
friends before now. I've known married people, but this is different. We all kick back
with Bud, get wasted and talk shit while playing 4-player Goldeneye 64. Oh well, doubt
things'll change now. Bud gets sloshed far more than I, and is a quite decent challenge at
Goldeneye.
Just a sidenote, Jen also mentioned all the nice Star Wars figures that Bud and Mabs got while I was slaving over a downed network the other night. No shipments for another two weeks?!? GAAAH!!
Winamp -- Sharkey
New Winamp came out. Go
here to download. You have been warned.
Star Wars Soundtrack -- Sharkey
Went to Tower Records and picked it up. They packed some in this gay packaging that's a
bitch to open, and the others without. I'm listening to it now, hopefully it staves off
the SW cravings until I see it.
| Monday, May 03, 1999 |
Photoshop 5.0 -- Sharkey
Finally upgraded from 4.0. Maybe now I'll get up the initiative to do some real graphics
for this site. Or I could continue to sit on my lazy ass and await Star Wars.
Merchandise -- Sharkey
Went down to the Toys R Us because I heard they had a kiosk with Episode 1 Racer. The
store was ravaged. Not one action figure, only the lame stuff like Queen Amidala Bike
Helmets. I played Ep.1 Racer, which was alright. I know it's sick, but there was a certain
satisfaction in how Anikin would scream as you slam his pod into a canyon wall, just
because you think, "Hey, no need for any more movies, I just offed Vader!" Then
I cruised over to Tower Records, and the clerk told me that the soundtrack goes on sale
tonight at midnight. Maybe I'll go pick it up.
TPM commercials -- Sharkey
The TV commercials are available for download from Apple
and Starwars.com.
I saw the Shmi one, it kinda sucked ass. Hope the other ones are better.
Duel of the Fates video -- Sharkey
They just played it on MTV. Pretty cool, but WTF was up with Natalie Portman's voice? They
also showed the people waiting in line for the toys. Mr. Mabs was waiting in line last
night, and then he called me to gloat about having them all. Bitch.
Webtone? -- Sharkey
Click
here for pure unadulterated lameness. Merge everything into one simple
"buzzword"? I still hate it when people don't know the difference between the
Internet and the Web. Now I've got to consolidate all the protocols, services, etc. that
I've learned over the years into a cute "buzzword"? This is so that the suits
don't have to be embarrassed by not knowing what the techs are talking about. They've got
a poll on whether or not you would use "webtone" in everyday conversation. Vote
no to purge this evil!
| Sunday, May 02, 1999 |
Cool Links -- Sharkey
Here's some cool spots to check out. First off there's Propane news, which has a really nice layout. Also, check out Simpleminded.org, who seems to share
our opinions of the French.
Did you know? -- Sharkey
That one out of every 100 women has a third nipple? That's amazing. Now I've gotta line up
a hundred women, maybe a hundred fifty for good measure. Now you know why those few prude
chicks at Mardi Gras won't flash. Superflous third nipples, see what reading gets you
kids? Knowledge is power.
Eh? -- Sharkey
Did Shlonglor really shut down?
| Saturday, May 01, 1999 |
Pulp Fiction -- Sharkey
It's on right now. One of my favorite flicks, with one of my favorite lines. "Any
time is a good time for pie." I share that sentiment, as should all bamf's. If
you don't know what I'm talking about, then you haven't read the pieclopedia.
Shame on you, it's required badass reading.
The Onion book -- Sharkey
Oh man, that book is phenominal. I think it's number one on the bestseller list right now,
as it damn well should be. I suggest you buy it, or at least go down to the bookstore and
read it in one of their comfy chairs. If a store clerks give you any guff, tell them to
piss off. I used to be that guy, and they really don't give a shit.
Bud's wedding -- Sharkey
If I'm not mistaken, Bud (our music editor) and Jen should be married by now. Congrats to
the happy couple.
No T2 -- Sharkey
They backed out. Bummer.
Entrapment -- Sharkey
Well, Mr. Mabs, Big Jim, and Mox all said that it was a stunt ass in the preview, and they
were all wrong. It was most certainly her ass, and a perfect one to boot. She is one of
the finest slices of pie I have ever seen. The movie, on the other hand, is not so
perfect. No explosions, no nudity, no suspense. The plot was kind of cool, it kept you
guessing for awhile. The gadgets and stuff were cool too, but the movie fell short in all
the other categories.
Idle Hands -- Sharkey
This was pretty funny, and also pretty dumb. The chick in it is insanely hot, and you feel
kind of guilty at times knowing that she was not of age when she made this movie. Still,
the Offspring made a cool appearance, and some of the deaths were great. Did I mention
that the chick is really hot? Quite a few parts leave you laughing out loud, and others
shaking your head at the blatent stupidity. The movie was released with a low-key ad
campaign due to the recent Denver shootings. Instead of advertising the slaughter of his
friends, they advertised the chick. Smart move. I mentioned she was hot didn't I?