As if we needed more proof…


LANGLEY, Washington (AP) — An amusement park operator was killed Saturday when his hair got caught on a roller coaster car, pulling him up as high as 40 feet before he fell, back-first, onto a fence.

Doug McKay, 40, was spraying lubricant on the tracks of the Super Loop 2, a ride at the Island County Fair on Whidbey Island, when his long hair got caught on a car full of fairgoers, sheriff’s spokeswoman Jan Smith said.

Nowhere in the article does the word “mullet” appear. On the other hand, how many amusement park operators have you met who *don’t* live the “business in front, party in the rear” lifestyle when it comes to their greasy unwashed locks? It might also be reasonable to guess that he was trying to use the grease from his hair to lubricate the ride…but let’s not push it ok? We will assume that this man had a mullet before he was scalped by a carnival ride.

This is about the point where I have decided that this post should not become a post about mullets. Instead I’ve decided to honor Mr Doug McKay, 40, by writing his eulogy right here on (where we care about the little people.)

Doug, or “flyboy” as he liked to be called was a simple man. He always dreamed of someday becoming a pilot. His dreams were never fulfilled because the air force told him that his eyes are just too close together…a trait he shared with one of the men believed to be his uncle and/or father. Doug was steady in his resolve, however, and he did the next best thing to piloting. He became an amusement park ride operator. Many times he was offered promotions to the position of ring-toss guy or even weight and birthday guesser, but he always turned them down. I suppose he was addicted to the simple thrills associated with operating and maintaining the carnival’s flagship attractions…the rides. Doug’s tireless work brought happiness to many youngsters, even the ones who were an inch or so too short to ride the Hurricane or the Gravitron. Given his tireless work, Doug was still never too busy to show a young lady that trick he did where he put his entire fist in his mouth while he lit a cigarette that he had crammed up his nose.

He always said that no man could ever hope to tame the Super Loop 2 and it looks like he was wrong…Doug did tame the Super Loop 2…he just had a little trouble with the fence on the way down. Keep reaching for the stars ol’ buddy but have old Saint Pete cut that hair of yours when you get to heaven!

In other news, the Island County Fair employees declined to cut their mullets as a show of support for Doug’s family because they’re currently unaware of the existance of any other hairstyles.

Categorized as Rants

1 comment

  1. Dear GodPlease, please, PLEASE, let there’ve been somebody there with a video camera. I would love to see that shit on RealTV.

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