by on @ 5:40 pm

For those of you that don’t know, Planetside is out. I’m already playing, and Sharkey will soon to be joining us. If you care, Markov is the server, Vanu (read: Protoss) is the side, and 0rion is my name there. Some asshat namecamed Orion there and never plays. Ingrate. Anyway, drop me a /tell if you want to join us. Of course, as many of you that hate me, you could always join one of the other two and try to kill me. Doesn’t bother me either way. Email me if you want more details and/or our “newbie help guide” my friend wrote. Word is bond.

In Case You Missed It Yesterday…

by on April 30, 2003 @ 10:34 am

…You can get Free Ice Cream at Baskin Robbins today. Granted, it’s not Ben & Jerry’s, but it’s still free ice cream.

Tink actually told me about yesterday’s event before it was posted, but since I was a little pissed over the event I decided not to post it. Here is some Ice Cream Mathtm for you kiddies. Nearest Ben & Jerry’s to my house is 30 miles away. That’s 60 miles round trip. My car gets 15 miles to the gallon on premium. That’s 4 gallons of gas for the trip. A ver conservative $2.00 / gallon makes the “free” ice cream cost at $8.00. $8.00 for “free” ice cream hardly seemed free. However, the closest Baskin Robbins is a mere 2 miles away, and I need to hit the grocery store tonight anyway… so free is free here. Enjoy.

AIM, The Matrix, and …Um

by on April 28, 2003 @ 8:27 am

Jasek sent me a link to this AIM conversation which had me LMAO, so I decided to share it with the masses here. I hope that it’s at least 6 months old, for obvious reasons.

I looked at the parent site and she has a link up to an interesting dissertation about The Matrix Reloaded. Go read it now, I’m going to reply to each of his points by number.

1. I still can’t believe that anyone can blame a film on whacked out teenagers. When I was a whacked out teenager, I didn’t blame any of my illegalities on anyone or anything.

2. $300,000,000 divided by 1,000 is $1,000,000. I sure as fuck hope he’s not a math PhD. Why doesn’t he ask Billy Gates to cough up money? Those arguments about how money is spent got old decads ago.

3. He’s complaining that Aaliyah got cut from the cast. Alright, brainiac, news flash for you – Aaliyah got cut from the cast because she’s FUCKING DEAD! No really, I bet Warner Brothers tried to prop her corpse up in scenes to keep her in the movie.

4. If he knows how it ends, then that sort of implies he’s already seen it. If he’s already seen it, he’s a hypocrite.

5. Somehow I doubt they will block the release of part 3.

6. Neo is The One which means he can defy the laws of physics. This is an underlying theme of the movies, idiot.

7. If they can bring back Agent Smith, they can bring back Cipher.

8. I used to live in Los Angeles and I know people that live in New York. They’d blend in easily in either location.

9. Of course it popped back into place. When his name was called, he “let go” of the spoon and moved on. The spoon popping back into shape made sense even to me.

10. If the bug didn’t leave a gaping bloody hole going in his stomach, why should it leave a hole going out?

11. It wasn’t squirming or burrowing at that point. The lights on the thing went out, denoting that it had “died.”

12. Well, if it’s the wife’s medication that’s the issue here, then I’m sure that she will get a huge settlement over her husband’s unlawful death. I still cheered.

13. If they were disarmed, then the AGENTS could have possessed bodies and brought their guns with them. If they were deded, then Agents couldn’t come play.

14. See number 14.

15. Whatever.

16. I think he wanted to have a list of 50 things and couldn’t come up with an even 50 so he put random shit in like this.

17. Yeah, but blowing up buildings is cool!

18. I thought Rocky lost the fight in the first film?

19. I hate it when people don’t know a line to a film and then just make up what they thought they heard.

20. WTF does Morgan Freeman have to do with The Matrix?

21. If you stand up in a movie and shout random shit, the audience doesn’t like it much, even if the audience hates it as much as you do. I should know.

22. I’m getting sick of reading the list to think of comments, but I think you get the point by now.

P.S. [email protected] is what I’m using until Sharkey gets the mail server set up again.

Space Mountain Offline

by on April 14, 2003 @ 11:26 am

First and foremost, I posted something in Gaming and no one seems to have seen it. Actually, it was fairly new when I posted it, so you can read it now and complain that you saw it months ago to allow me to keep my title.

So I was talking to Tink yesterday and he said a few days ago they closed Space Mountain and it won’t be open again for the next two years. Why do I care? I care because Space Mountain is about 90% of the reason I even go to Disneyland. 10% is that Tink gets us in for free. 90% is because we want to ride Space Mountain when it derails and get a seven-figure out-of-court settlement from Disney. It’s just like winning the lottery.

Everquest Raid?

by on March 22, 2003 @ 1:16 pm

US: Ok, putting together a group for an Iraq raid…who’s in?
UK: Of course I’m in.
Turkey: Only if someone makes me new armor. Last Iraq raid I lost money on.
US: *sigh* Ok, I can’t make your cultural armor, but I’ll help pay for it. How much you need?
Turkey: 100k plat.
US: ***?! Are you smithing the armor out of platinum, ya tard? No frikking way. 30k plat,and that’s all I’m offering.
Turkey: Sweet. Ok, I’m in.
Spain: I frikking hate Iraq. They were spawn campin us for frikking EVER, man — long time ago, but we’re still pissed off about it. Meet you at Turkish zone line.
US: Cool, thx.
Italy: Me 2.
Chile: I’m in.
US: Ok, so far, got US, UK, Turks, Spain, Italy, Chile.
Bulgaria: Umm, got room for some lowbies? Thought maybe we could leech some raid xp …
US: Yeah, sure. Why not. Just don’t attack anything. Make sure to set up a /assist US hotkey, ok?
France: Hey all, what’s up?
US: Putting together a raid, hitting Iraq.
France: No frikking way, dood. Look, I’m part ofAlliance leadership, and I say no way do we go inthere. I’m using Alliance veto.
US: ***? Alliance Veto?
France: Yeah, it’s in the guild charter. Me, Germany, US, Russia, and China can all cancel any guild raid event.
Bulgaria: Hey, me and the other Eastern Europeans wanna go …
France: ****, n00b. Your guild got no say in this.
Bulgaria: ,,!,,
Germany: I don’t really want to go either.
US: …
France: Yeah, we veto. No guildies go to Iraq.
US: What about you, Russia.
Russia: Well, if everyone else goes, it’s ok, but if
France and Germany say no, then that’s cool.
US: Jeebus. Dood, show some balls. You used to love going on raids.
Russia: Yeah, but that Afghanistan raid a while back was a disaster. Total group wipe-out.
US: Yeah, but you were in different alliance, man.
This is different. Besides, we pwn3d last time we went on Iraq raid.
France: Doesn’t matter. I say no.
Spain: .tell US doesn’t matter if France doesn’t go anyway, he just feigns death anytime he sees combat. He’s a bu77munch. Lives next door to me.
Spain: Oops. MT.
France: Oh yeah? Well you skipped that WWII raid completely.
Spain: Only cuz I’d just come back from dueling, was too tired to raid. Besides, you died in first wave, spent the rest of the raid licking dirt and whining.
France: ..!..
US: Guys, c’mon. I’m trying to put this thing together, here… look, I don’t care what France says. I’m going, and anyone who wants to come with me can. China, you in?
China: *shrug* Don’t feel like it.
US: Ok…
North Korea has challenged you to a duel! Type /duel accept to accept or /duel decline to decline the challenge.
US: /duel decline
North Korea tells you: “Dood u r teh suq. I will r0xxorz u”
You tell North Korea: No thanks, guy. Trying to get a raid going.
North Korea tells you: “Ur just scaerd of teh pwnage”
You tell North Korea: Riiiight. ****, okay? I’m busy.
North Korea taunts you.
/ignore North Korea.
US: How come you’re not coming, Germany?
Germany: I’m just not into the violence anymore.
You tell Germany: Bullsh1t, you’re just waiting for us to go into Iraq so you can gank France again.
Germany tells you: Ooops. *blush* busted!!
You tell Germany: Dude, why bother? He’s green to you.
Germany tells you: It’s just satisfying, I guess. It shuts him up for a while, anyway.
France: I’m telling you, if anyone goes, then it’ll break the Alliance.
Spain tells you: Whoop-de-sh1t, this Alliance sucks. Let’s go anyways.
US: France, *** is ur problem?
France: I want to send scouts in first. Let them see if any named are up.
US: Ok, how long it gonna take them?
France: Couple weeks, maybe. Months, possibly.
US: MONTHS? ***???! Dude, I don’t want to wait that long. I’ll give your scouts a week, at most. We’ll reschedule then.
France: I may veto anyway.
US: Yeah, whatever.
/tell Spain Yeah, may have to. He’s a dipsh1t.
Bulgaria tells you: If you go, let me know. Me and my lowbie buddies are in.
You tell Bulgaria: Cool, thx. Are you someone’s alt?
Bulgaria tells you: Some of us were Russia’s buff toons, but we’re soloing now.
US: Ok, meet again next week. We’ll take things from there.


by on December 30, 2002 @ 2:58 am

This is a blatant fucking plug. However, since the game has about no marketting in the US right now, I figure word-of-mouth is the way to go.

What’s that I’m talking about? Why it’s Neocron of course! It’s the game that we’ve been waiting for. It’s a FPS game that is also a MMORPG. We thought that AO would be that, but it wasn’t. This one is what you are after. If it will help you understand the game’s premise, it’s pretty much like playing Deus Ex with other players in an ongoing world.

Another really cool thing is that if you hit the official site, you can download a free offline demo of the game. That’s right, you can take it out for a test drive before you buy! So far I’ve had a 100% success rate with people that have played the demo and then bought the game. Actually my success rate is over 100% if you count the fact that my roomates coerced me into giving up my original account with Orion Engineer to be the mule account so we’d have a full-time construction mule. Full-time implanter and researcher on that account now, too.

VEHICLES!! That’s right, you can have hover bikes, troop carriers, buggies, and tanks. Right now my crew has been mass-producing the vehicle with space for a driver, a gunner, and a passenger. Think about the buggy that you drove all over HALO and that is about what it is. It goes pretty fast over the outdoor terrain, and it’s a hell of a lot of fun.

Well, as usual, if you are interested then email me for details on where we play and our names and whatnot. I’ll even make it a point to look at my email once a day for the next few days. Gosh I’m nice! Oh yeah, I almost forgot. The game is almost entirely PVP. This means that if some fuckwad comes in and ninjas your kill, you can light him on fire or blow his ass into next week.

Holiday Wishes

by on December 28, 2002 @ 5:16 pm

Gosh I hope this is from last year. Well at least Christmas was a few days ago, so if this is new this year then at least it’s still late and I can retain my King Of Old Newstm title.

I’m sure you have someone “special” in your life that you can think of when you see this. I know I did.

Click Here For Holiday Wishes

Oh yeah, many thanks to Bentos for the link.

Driving Home

by on December 25, 2002 @ 9:54 pm

So I go to the movies on Christmas day. Some asshat in a Chevy truck thought that he could take me.

Here’s a pop quiz: Chevy truck vs. Orion’s Mustang?

If you can’t guess the answer then you probably have wasted your money on a Chevy or an import.