Frankentits Is Back In Action

Wait… would that be Frankentits are back in action? I mean its a nickname, but they directly reference her two… nevermind. Tara Reid was in Playboy, which seems like a terrible, terrible idea when you consider her horrifically mangled mammaries. Thankfully, she seemed to have some emergency Photoshop surgery prior to this shoot. I’ve used geometry and her American Pie co-“star” Jason Biggs’ head to illustrate my point:

It seems that Ms. Reid’s nipples have diminished along with Biggs’ career, though not in equal proportions. If they were shrinking in tandem, Tara’s tits would be bald and the single-toned alien look that the Playboy airbrushers were going for would be complete.