The other day I mentioned life’s little “Don’t leave the fucking house” message, but I never did elaborate. One thing I will share with you is my altercation with the law, which was a primary source of headache for the holiday weekend.
Picture our hero, having dropped off Bolt after a Halloween-party decorating session up in LA, driving to meet the current girl at the donut shop (its the only thing open in my town at 2:30 AM) for a coffee. About one block back from the intended destination, a cop is spotted in the rear view mirror. Considering the expired plates (laziness!) there was little doubt that this was going to result in being stopped. Sure enough, this is what happens. And that’s where the fun begins.
You see, I’ve been pulled over a few times since my registration expired. I’ve been meaning to get it up-to-date, but business and laziness have conspired against me in this effort. So by this point, I’ve racked up a couple of fix-it tickets and know the drill: hand the officer the tickets, let him inspect them and remark on my bad luck in getting two, and letting me on my way. But not tonight. After handing over the standard identification, I sit and wave to the girl, who is parked directly across from me, nervously awaiting an explanation. Then a light flashes in my face.
Cop: “Sir, you mind stepping out of the vehicle with your hands over your head?”
Sharkey: “Uh… sure.” (*opens door*)
Cop: “Whoa, keep your hands on your head. Do you have any dangerous weapons or anything in your pockets that I should know about?”
Sharkey: (*puzzled*) “No sir.”
Cop: (*grabs my left hand and restrains me*)
At this point, I notice a calm, collected senior officer behind him, and another plainclothes officer farther back taking notes and making afferming nods to the officer who now had my arm pinned behind my back. I figured out fairly quickly that this guy was new, and the plainclothes was his trainer/evaluator.
After a lot of rigamarole and bluster, they finally start answering my questions again.
Sharkey: “So what’s this all about, sir?”
Cop: “You have any explanation as to why you’re driving with a suspended license?”
Sharkey: (*raises eyebrow*) “Ummmm… because my license isn’t suspended?”
Cop: “Yeah. It is. Any weapons in the car I should know about? Drugs? Anything of note?”
Sharkey: “Not unless you count my new putter. And why would my license be suspended?”
Cop: “Sounds like it was a failure to appear. Was suspended back in July.”
At this point, I considered telling him that I didn’t want him going through my car, but there was nothing of interest in there anyways, so I figured why piss him off? The senior officer started chatting with me about random bullshit, obviously trying to keep my attention as the other officer rifled through my belongings. I told the newbie that while he’s in there, he should figure out what the new, puzzling odor coming from the backseat stems from.
By now the girl and I are sitting on the curb, watching the police do their business. The cops are pretty friendly after I prove to be non-threatening, and even let me out of the car impounding that I am fully entitled to. I thank them for their time, and ask the girl for a ride home.
Now, the next day was all kinds of fun. I wake up (after three hours of sleep) and the site is down. Clients are bitching. And I have to go down to the courthouse (I was told to bring a good book by the cop, since I’d be there awhile) and the DMV. On top of the millions of things I had to get accomplished, I was in a fun mood.
The courthouse actually took three minutes, since my ticket for driving on a suspended license will not be on the docket for a few weeks, so I cannot go in to contest it. I did, however, settle up with the court regarding my failure to appear, giving me the ability (and priveledge, I’m sure) of going to the DMV. I also found out what ticket I possibly could have ignored, coming back to bite me in the ass a whole year later. That ticket? Improper wearing of a seatbelt. That took what little starch I still had left in my sails and threw it into the Pacific. A $35 infraction had now ballooned to about $300, and caused me many many hours of grief. And to top it all off, I can’t even remember getting the Goddamned thing.
After an uneventful DMV visit, (to be followed by another one tomorrow, and my court date in a few weeks) I finally have my (temporary) license back. I’m glad that it’s all working out, but I’ve had this nagging thought in the back of my head since Friday: when the fuck did I get this seat belt ticket? How could I forget about it? And why?
The answer, of course, is right here on BAMF.
Of course, the reason I forgot about the ticket is because the ticket in-and-of-itself was a victory. One might point out that this is yet another burden stemming from the evil that is women, but that person would be an asshole. A $300-lighter-in-the-wallet asshole.
commentsome sort of cosmic irony, that cop truly was evil
Fuck the police comin’ straight from the underground…Had a similar incident about a year ago… got clocked doing 80 in a 55, cop (state trooper, no less) let my sorry ass off with an obstructed view ticket, to which I promptly tucked into my visor and forgot about.Fast forward to a few months later… local cops are knocking on my door, ask if I’m the owner of the silver car out front that’s been vandalized. (vandalized?!) I strap my shoes on and step out the door, and they’re all \”surprise, we’ve got a bench warrant for yo’ ass.\” Turns out warnings and summonses were sent to my old address. $35 ticket ends up costing me $200 in bail and another $70 for ticket and court costs.That and the new alternator fucked my x-mas budget last year.
hmmWell I hope you get off of that driving on a suspended… in Virginia that violation gets you another year suspended and 10 days in jail… Virginia Sucks!
Wow…I remember when you first wrote about that shit. I had always planned on using that tactic when getting pulled over (truthful or otherwise) and like your ticket, it got lost in a haze of drunken memories.But it shall not be lost again! 11/1/04 NEVA FOGET!
Been in that situationI don’t know how it works in California but i had something very similar happen to me. I paid my fines and got my license back before the court date for my driving while suspended. The driving while suspended court hearing was just a room full of other people with suspended license tickets, they called it Rocket Dock or something stupid like that. At the hearing all the people that had gotten their licenses back had the ticket for suspended license reduced to a $25 failure to show identification ticket and in my case I had gotten 2 other tickets along with my suspended license one, those were dropped at my cost which means I had to pay $20 each. I was actually glad I didn’t have a license when i got pulled over because the speeding ticket and the failure to stop at a stop light ticket would of ran me a couple of hundred dollars and i got off with just $80 after the tickets and court cost.
Been in that situationI don’t know how it works in California but i had something very similar happen to me. I paid my fines and got my license back before the court date for my driving while suspended. The driving while suspended court hearing was just a room full of other people with suspended license tickets, they called it Rocket Dock or something stupid like that. At the hearing all the people that had gotten their licenses back had the ticket for suspended license reduced to a $25 failure to show identification ticket and in my case I had gotten 2 other tickets along with my suspended license one, those were dropped at my cost which means I had to pay $20 each. I was actually glad I didn’t have a license when i got pulled over because the speeding ticket and the failure to stop at a stop light ticket would of ran me a couple of hundred dollars and i got off with just $80 after the tickets and court cost.
Pretty amusingI have to say that it’s pretty amusing that you actually posted last year regarding your ‘seat belt’ ticket, it was supposed to save you some money, and then it comes back outta nowhere to bit ya in the ass. I laughed
Getting pulled overMy brother got pulled over not long ago. He has a concealed carry permit, so he was wearing some weapons, 3 guns and 2 kinfes to be more specific. The cop said to him (direct quote) \”Damn boy, the fighting is in Iraq, what are you doing here?\” The cop seemed pretty cool with it though.
weekend from hellI got a ticket on friday for not wearing my seat belt and then i got one for speeding (74 in 55) on monday. All on back country roads, damn CHP.
weekend from hellI got a ticket on friday for not wearing my seat belt and then i got one for speeding (74 in 55) on monday. All on back country roads, damn CHP.
Rent-a-dickI actually had one try to pull me over for speeding on a non-public road (and thus with no speed limit)I had to quote him the citizen’s arrest law as regards kidnapping (what you do if you hold someone without their permission WRT handcuffs) and speeding (you can’t hold someone for speeding under a citizen’s arrest) and the law regarding policing (as relates to him not having any law enforcement powers)Dickhead made me late for a final.
So….What happened with the Donut Chick anyways?