Old Skool MoFo: the Digital Run

(Another wonderful contribution from a faithful reader. Submit your own story and more than likely we’ll post it.)

BITD (Back in the Day) my crew was all about dumpster diving and B&E. It was what we did. We would go anywhere in search of bigger and better dumpsters where we could find bigger and better prizes. It was the order of things and we were happy. One day though, we got cocky. We decided that we should hit something ‘big’. So we scout for a couple of days, and decide that Digital Equipment Corporation is the place to go ‘just think of the dumpsters at that place.’

We pack up the entire crew that could show that night with accompanying womenfolk (about 10 people) and get into three cars and drive out. Now, out of those ten people, mebbe 5 are reliable. We drive out to the industrial park that DEC is in (what I should really say is industrial country this place is huge, about a mile of drive from the main road to their parking lot. The parking lot it self is several acres) and park between two tractor trailers (no cab, just the trailers). I leave 2 of my good guys with the three cars, and we all take off around the edge of the nearest building.

After getting everyone around the building (keeping one of my guys in the back as a tail, and having one on point), we check the dumpsters, find nothing (they’re those big locking compressor dumpsters… no good for diving), so we turn to leave. Just as we’re about to go around the building and head for the cars, my point man comes back.


Shit. We sneak up a little bit and look. Looks like every single cop in this podunk town and the security for the industrial park is grilling the two bastards I left with the cars. And then it hits me. We left three cars. No story they tell is going to work. GAH!

So I start running all of my people through the forest that surrounds the park. We dodge the patrols they send into the woods, and watch as they chase off two cars, leaving the other one still there. Ick. This is going to be messy.

After about an hour of running and hiding through the compound, we come to the forest that borders the road. About a mile through that, and we’ll be on the highway. I grab the keys to the last car from the girl who owned it (she didn’t want to give them up, but was convinced by ‘impound lot logic’) and told my two boys to run them through the woods and I’d meet them by the highway.

I take off back through the compound, creeping through the little forested islands in the parking lot, until I get about 30 feet from the car. The cops are all sitting on the hoods of their cars about 100 feet away chatting with the park security, who are still in their cars and take off to do patrols every couple of minutes. I’d been dodging them and their searchlights for what seemed like days now.

I crawl over to the car. They don’t see me. I open the door. They don’t see me. I sit down and close the door. They don’t see me, but the dome light won’t go off. AGGH! It was a four door Toyota POS, and it had one of those fading dome lights. Grr. So I start trying the keys. Wrong Key. Wrong Key. Right Key.

“HEY!” They saw me.

I start up the car, and take off. The security guys in the Broncos are right on my ass. The cops are scrambling for their cars, but failing miserably. I’m doing like 50 through this industrial park, and I see my turn. I turn down this side street thinking, ‘This is out’ and I see a dead end.

Now I know two things at this point, and they flash through my head. Broncos have a tendency to flip, and this is a four lane wide road. So I do a bootlegger turn at about 35 (managed to slow down at the last second), and take off past them. The security guys have this Boss Hawg ‘I’ll get that boy!’ kinda look on their face, but it’s way too late.

I manage to take off out of the complex and start driving around. No sign of my crew on the highway, so I keep driving. I’m driving back and forth in this town, and surely every cop in three counties is looking for this car right now (or so I was thinking). I just keep driving back and forth looking for them, avoiding cops, and then my windows start to fog. So I pull over onto the shoulder.

Now my friends had just crawled through the woods, which turned out to be a lot of swamp, and ended up on the highway… All they see is some car with their brights on (I couldn’t figure how to turn em off) pulled over in front of them, so they figure it’s the cops. They sigh and wander over to the car.

Meanwhile, I finally find the defroster. My window clears and I see them.

“Get the fuck in the car!”

We take off (8 people in a 4 door Toyota, it was comfy… ) and never return to the town. Actually we did, but that’s another story…

Le Pretre De Voyou

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