Taking “Choking The Chicken” To A Horrifying Level

Got a bit of gold in my inbox from Baaron, who had to tell me about this poor bastard in Bucharest who sleepily attempted to behead a noisy chicken, and…. well, just read it.

A elderly Romanian man mistook his penis for a chicken’s neck, cut it off and his dog rushed up and ate it, the state Rompres news agency said Monday.

It said 67 year-old Constantin Mocanu, from a village near the southeastern town of Galati, rushed out into his yard in his underwear to kill a noisy chicken keeping him awake at night.

“I confused it with the chicken’s neck,” Mocanu, who was admitted to the emergency hospital in Galati, was quoted as saying. “I cut it … and the dog rushed and ate it.”

While tragic, and disturbing on that level where you cringe and grab protectively at your business, I can’t feel too bad for this guy. I just got done discussing the wang with Chief_Bootknocker from the forums…. wait, that sounded bad. Let me rephrase. We were discussing how the wang, while a man’s best friend, is nothing but a retarded troublemaker. And since it is my most prized possession, light years beyond my adoration for my TiVo, I must be in constant “parent” mode with the idiot manchild that is attached to my nether regions. Therefore, even when I get out of bed, wiping the sleep from my eyes, my first instincts are: “sight, survival, penis.” Not exactly in that order, but you get the point. From the moment I wake to the moment I go to bed, I have to be constantly aware of this thing, which normally would lead into my “The One Ring is Sauron’s metaphorical cock” theory, but we don’t have time for that today.

Point of the matter is: even when I’m shit faced drunk and vomiting on myself in the bushes, I am ever-wary of what happens to my junk. Which means that if I’m going to be grabbing a sharp object, my NUMBER ONE PRIORITY (even above stabbing myself in the eyes, throat, or any prevalent artery) is the protection and security of my best pal, roommate, and hetero life partner. This guy either lost the love for his bid’ness, or he just didn’t read the manual on proper care and feeding of it. Either way, there was no respect involved, and unfortunately he paid the price.

My advice to you, my brothers, is to do something thoughtful for your piece today. Buy it something nice. Take a walk with it. Just remember to respect it, but not it’s opinions. It’s opinions are usually shit.

Categorized as News

By Sharkey

I run bamf.


  1. On the other hand…To my recollection, my piece has never done anything to make it deserving of my respect. Aside from its agreeably shit opinions, its a bitch to walk with when it want’s attention. Then when I try and get it some attention, it fucks up my head and blows the deal. I see my wang not as a best pal, but as a little brother which I must keep a close eye on, lest he get out of control and ruin my life.If ever you find yourself with the time, \”The One Ring is Sauron’s metaphorical cock\” theory sounds like a post worth making.

  2. old agethe poor bastard old people, they sometimes forget that parts of themselves are themselves.wow, I never thought I would hear that a man didnt like his wang, whats wrong with you drunkenmime, it should have been you who chopped yours off, not the idiotic old man, how can you call yourself male if you hate you junk

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