Those Wacky Shintos Have All The Fun

This definitively beats out the “breast examiner booths” of yore in terms of legality, and effectiveness.

[ Pervert priest pinched for ‘holy massage’ ]

Pervert priest pinched for ‘holy massage’

“I just channeled Earth’s vital energy into her in accordance with Shinto ritual. So what I did was not illegal,” 34-year-old Sakamoto told grilling officers.

Midway through the teaching session, Sakamoto suddenly told the girl, “Your problem is a lack of earthly energy. I will channel the energy into you,” and started groping her, according to the victim.

Grand. Catholic priests, don’t let this give you any ideas. Not that you need any, you’ve probably cornered the market on these kind of “one hand washes another” scams. However, I am highly intrigued by the practicies of the Shinto church. For instance, must this Earth energy be transmitted via the hands, or can other extremeties, such as the tongue, be used as a conduit of enlightenment?

Matter of fact, I think I’ve just coined a new euphamism for the wang. Conduit of enlightenment, I like the sound of that. I’m not just a lover baby, I’m a teacher, a bringer of carnal knowledge. So bring on the lucious schoolgirls! When it comes to the plaid skirt wearin’ teen-types, I prefer them hot and quiet. That’s why I keep a roll of duct tape in my car.

*Ahem* Just kidding. *scans for the feds* Happy Monday.

Categorized as News

By Sharkey

I run bamf.


  1. New religeonYou could probably start a new religeon(spelling?) dealing with massages and channeling energy through a persons body. as a high priest, you would have to touch everyone….and in return priestesses (is that a word) would have to channel their energy back into you!

  2. its religion, and…that sounds like a little something that we call a cult, which is technically a bunch of fucking weird people gathering together to practice whack ass shit before they eventually kill themselves (hooray for stereotypes). id rather find some chick at a bar, or at least get some hookers and blow.

  3. shintoshinto is actually the original religion of japan so its not a cult. and at least the asians go for the women instead of little altar boys

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