One of the biggest problems in America is that there is not enough communication about danger. Sure, those of you that have never taken a bath with a toaster might disagree, but how the fuck would you feel if you were the toaster and some asshole took you into the drink?

And take this for example:

[Help! I burned my beanbag]

Buchi, now 20, was working for park concessionaire Amfac Parks & Resorts when he and two friends — Tyler Montague of Salt Lake City and Sara Hulphers of Oroville, Wash. — took a late-night walk near the Firehole River on Aug. 21, 2000.

In unison, the trio attempted to vault what they thought was a “thin ribbon of water,” according to Buchi’s suit. It was instead a small band of vegetation growing beside Cavern Springs, one of the many notorious and deadly hot springs that dot America’s oldest national park. The three friends landed in the blistering water.

Just because it is called the fucking FIREHOLE RIVER and it runs near the mecca of all fiery shit on earth, Yellowstone, doesn’t mean that this guy should need to test the water. Where is the spontanity-fit-for-a-mentos-commercial in that? For Christ’s sake he had a bitch with him, and bitches don’t want a guy that tests the water! they want a guy that downs a sixer, crushes a can on his head, and bails naked into the water screaming “HELLO WASHINGTON!”

Of course, that guy is usually prepared to pay the price of his actions, namely by blaming it on his friend, or the alcohol. But, I do agree that we need more warning signs.

I suck at Photoshop

Not that I’m saying a warning sign would have helped, but it definitely would have made him look tougher for jumping. And after the burns heal, that is all that really matters.

Categorized as News

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