World Of Warcraft

So everyone should have guessed by now that I’m playing World Of Warcraft. I’m not feeling like making links and shit because this IS a rant, so if you don’t know what WOW is by now, you’re living under a bigger rock than I generally live under. Before I continue, though, if any of you care, I’m playing as Orion on Icecrown on Horde side. This was originally a Mountain/PVE (normal) server, but I think that they sort of just put them all into one big list now.

Alright, so I have been noticing something since the game came out. It’s a war of Alliance vs. Horde. You knew this. It IS Warcraft, after all. However, I’ve noticed that it’s a RACE war that Blizzard has put into their game. So you’re an orc, and you decide to dance. You start doing the MC Hammer dance. You’re a troll and you talk, you sound like a Rastafarian. You decide to dance and you’re break dancing. Your skin is dark if you’re a troll or an orc. If you’re on the Alliance, well, let’s face it, you’re WHITE. Even if you’re one of the Little People, you’re still WHITE. Wait, but NE’s get to have like blue skin and shit like that, and undead are all pasty and like Goth peeps. Well, Da Klan gets NE’s because the NE chicks are eye candy. Fuck it, here’s an example:

You know you want some...

Alright, what about the goths being on the Homie side? Well fuck everyone knows that Goth vampire wannabes are the dregs of western civilization and crackas everywhere wish that they’d just drop off the face of the earth. Blizzard just granted da good ol’ boyz their wish for this.

So now, of course, you’re wondering why I’m on Horde side with all this evidence suggesting that Alliance would be the better side to play. Well, if you play as Horde YOU GET TO KILL GNOMES! That and “DIE CRACKA” and “KILL WHITEY” have a much nicer ring to it for some reason. I think both of those were among my battle cries in COH for the week or three I played that game. Anyway, I’m done, I have some levels to get since I’m slacking in WOW and my friends have mostly passed me.

Categorized as Rants

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