Put your goddamn arms down and play the game

by on June 8, 2006 @ 10:02 am

  I’ve been playing organized sports for the better part of my life. As a little Moogle in Kindergarten I was signed up for a soccer team with my classmates and I’ve been playing the fifteen years since then. In high school I started playing hockey. I’ve played in and watched my share of games filled with non-professional players. This has lead me to make several observations.
  Many things have changed since kindergarten. Different arenas, players, equipment and of course the strategy involved in the game is completely different now. But don’t worry, there is always a bastion of stability on the field. No matter what sport is being played there will always be a pussy on the field who on the first time he makes even the slightest incidental contact with another player falls to the ground looking for a call. Every now and then you get a dive artist who puts a little emphasis on his dive with a resounding “WarrrGTTTTHHH!” when he “gets taken down”. The divers are bad enough. The noise makers even, worse but the absolute worst of the whole group are the players who take the dive and then turn around, look for a ref and hold their arms out like Jesus on the cross. Like the phantom foul is somehow akin to being crucified. When the ref looks at these clowns and shakes his head the diver picks himself off the ground and starts a belligerent verbal assault on the ref. The whole process may take only twenty seconds but hey, asshole? My team just controlled the ball and scored.
  So friends, let’s all quit being pussies while we’re playing rec sports. You don’t need to dive for fouls, the game doesn’t matter. And if you do care about them so much, quit leaving your team a man short while you attempt to wash the sand out of your vagina on the field. Thanks a bunch.
  Perhaps sports are just pissing me off because now that the Pistons got bounced by the heat and the Red Wings suffered another embarrassing early round loss I’m out of pro sports to be happy about. Short of waiting for annual penance, I mean the Lion’s season, to start I’m stuck rooting for the Tigers and frankly, I just don’t have that kind of faith yet. I’m still waiting for the while thing to fall apart.

The Gods are against me

by on August 7, 2003 @ 9:17 pm

I’ll start this off like this: Son of a bitch.
I was going to get drunk tonight with a good friend of mine (female) who I may have a “thing” with. My mom and one of my two sisters are vacationing out of town and my other sister was going to be at work/with her boyfriend all night. My dad was going to be playing volleyball/at the bar with the volleyball crowd and not getting home until 12ish. My friend was planning on just crashing here and going home in the morning after my dad left for work. Alcohol source was the boyfriend and that was going to work just perfect, no problems there. I went up to school to try to get classes (that didn’t work, another boring rant in itself) and when I came home it was raining. I look at my dad and mention to him that playing volleyball in the rain is going to suck. He replies “Yeah, it would, but volleyball’s over. Our last week was last week.”
I call my friend and tell her that plans have fell through and we’ll have to do it another time. On the upside I did get to hang out with some friends and watch “The Boondock Saints” so that was a plus.

Come to think of it there WAS something…

by on August 5, 2003 @ 7:18 am

If you don’t read Get Fuzzy this won’t make any sense to you. However, if you don’t read Get Fuzzy then you should. It’s a wonderful comic, one of the best out there right now. If you don’t have a chance to read the comics you should check the archives starting on the 16th to understand what I’m about to go off about. Now, to commence with the going-off:
What the HELL was with that story?!? Bucky was IN the monkey cage. This was the culmination of Bucky’s existance. The monkey’s advancing on Bucky, who is armed with a spork and the comic cuts out. You assume it’s so that the next day you can start with the real funny “Bucky v. the giant monkey” strips. WRONG. You get Rob and Satchel sitting around in the office and a few semi-funny jokes while Bucky is just handed back to them. I kept waiting for him to go back to the monkey cage to finish what he started. I was hoping that Darby Connely, was playing a joke on the readers by building up to an awesome story and then only pretending to snatch it away from us. Now I know that he is indeed only a cruel, cruel shell of a man who lives to hurt others for his own amusement.