Put your goddamn arms down and play the game

  I’ve been playing organized sports for the better part of my life. As a little Moogle in Kindergarten I was signed up for a soccer team with my classmates and I’ve been playing the fifteen years since then. In high school I started playing hockey. I’ve played in and watched my share of games filled with non-professional players. This has lead me to make several observations.
  Many things have changed since kindergarten. Different arenas, players, equipment and of course the strategy involved in the game is completely different now. But don’t worry, there is always a bastion of stability on the field. No matter what sport is being played there will always be a pussy on the field who on the first time he makes even the slightest incidental contact with another player falls to the ground looking for a call. Every now and then you get a dive artist who puts a little emphasis on his dive with a resounding “WarrrGTTTTHHH!” when he “gets taken down”. The divers are bad enough. The noise makers even, worse but the absolute worst of the whole group are the players who take the dive and then turn around, look for a ref and hold their arms out like Jesus on the cross. Like the phantom foul is somehow akin to being crucified. When the ref looks at these clowns and shakes his head the diver picks himself off the ground and starts a belligerent verbal assault on the ref. The whole process may take only twenty seconds but hey, asshole? My team just controlled the ball and scored.
  So friends, let’s all quit being pussies while we’re playing rec sports. You don’t need to dive for fouls, the game doesn’t matter. And if you do care about them so much, quit leaving your team a man short while you attempt to wash the sand out of your vagina on the field. Thanks a bunch.
  Perhaps sports are just pissing me off because now that the Pistons got bounced by the heat and the Red Wings suffered another embarrassing early round loss I’m out of pro sports to be happy about. Short of waiting for annual penance, I mean the Lion’s season, to start I’m stuck rooting for the Tigers and frankly, I just don’t have that kind of faith yet. I’m still waiting for the while thing to fall apart.