Boner Is Missing

I can still vividly remember the time I had dinner at a friends house when I was a kid, and spent a few minutes describing the show ‘Growing Pains.’ I was really confused when my friend’s parents flipped out at the mention of the character ‘Boner,’ since I had no fucking clue what it meant. But I made damn sure to find out, and solidified yet another memory of learning genitalia-related terminology. My favorite (or least favorite) being the time around age five when I took a nasty spill on my bike, which ended up with me falling spread-legged onto the center bar. That’s the day that a kindly old woman taught me the word testicles. I peed blood for a couple of days, but my vocabulary was influenced for life.

It saddened me to learn that one of my English-of-the-nether-regions teachers has vanished. Andrew Koenig, the aforementioned ‘Growing Pains’ character and son of Walter ‘Chekov’ Koenig, is missing. Apparently the actor (who also played the Joker in this) has been suffering from depression and disappeared somewhere in Vancouver weeks ago. I can’t think of a better way to send positive vibes to his unknown location than to start off a shitty pun-fest based on the situation. So keep an eye peeled for any wayward Boners throughout Canada, he could pop up anywhere.

Your turn, go!

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By Sharkey

I run bamf.

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