Sorry for the lack of posting, I’ve been out of town for a couple of days without internet access. While I was quite lacking for information, it did give me a chance to acquaint myself with the new G4TechTV amalgamation. And, much like everyone else, have to say this one thing: it fucking sucks.

It’s funny, because they took all of the bad things that I hated about TechTV, and smooshed them together with all of the crap that I hate over at G4. It used to be that I could watch one or the other, and find something interesting. Now that they are one station, it seems that none of the shows are ones that I particularly care for.

My offer to save your network still stands, G4. Even with this latest merger, I’m sure we can come to some sort of understanding. Everyone wanted a dedicated gaming network, and you fucked it up. Good job. Everyone wanted a dedicated tech network, that got fucked up as well. Two fuck ups don’t cancel each other out, braniacs, so don’t merge the two and hope their bastard child will come out tasting like Honey Nut Cheerios®. Statistically speaking, it will probably taste like black licorice dipped in horse manure, which I can tell you firsthand leaves a pretty unpleasant aftertaste.

Bottom line G4TechTV, you’ve gotta innovate. Come up with some new shows, ditch some of the old, irritating hosts, and make some goddamned money. Or, if you’re not too keen on innovating… steal. Take the current reality TV show blitz, and spin it to your own demographic. It’s not that hard. Here are a few more guaranteed success stories waiting to happen. Call it a gift, from me to you.

  • The (Case) Mod Squad – You want an easy way to introduce your gaming audience to the techie audience? How about one of those crappy home remodeling shows, except the experts go in and trick out the case of one lucky viewer. It would be just like Pimp My Ride, only with a serious tilt towards the nerd. If the case mods are cool enough, you might even get me to watch. Throw in a lot of case modding tips and generous backing from some mod-friendly hardware companies and you’ve got an easy win.
  • Making The Game – This one is simple. Take Making The Band, and ditch the shitty band. Throw in a bunch of fledgeling game designers. Take out Puff Daddy. Throw in R. Lee Ermey and give him a whip. As long as there are plenty of wierd challenges and roommate infighting, this will be a guaranteed success.
  • The CIO – stealing from Trump’s smash hit, The Apprentice, you take a bunch of techies struggling to make it as one of the only CIO’s in the country who is not a certified fucking idiot. Instead of making business decisions and selling lemonade, you pop them into different IT-management related nightmares. Set the server room on fire, spread a virus around the office, post critical server info at different hacker boards, etc. Then you watch the bastards delegate effectively or get sent home. Get Bill Gates, or some other famous Tech company CEO to host it. The winner gets to be CIO for that company for a year. The beauty is that since we all know how fucking useless CIO’s are to begin with, this is a no-risk situation for whomever wants the free publicity.

Of course, the execs at G4TechTV will ignore me again, and then two years from now they’ll swallow another worthless station in an attempt to remain afloat. SpikeTV had better watch it’s ass.

Categorized as News

By Sharkey

I run bamf.


  1. CIOA couple years back I flew down to LA for a job interview. I had it in my pocket. I blame their CIO, who is an idiot. Or, was, not sure. I think the company fell through.See what happens when you don’t hire me?

  2. bastardized network.I had 2 shows I watched religiously on TechTV. Call for help and the ScreenSavers.They cancel the better one, and sandwich the other inbetween some crap that is so mindnumbing that I cant watch it.Fucking Comcast assholes. I hope they all die in a fire.

  3. Wow…I’d watch the CIO just in the hope of seeing some tool try to set a server room on fire.

  4. You forgot someWhat about \”The Morgan Webb Titty Hour\”? That show is screaming to be made. But seriously, there is one good show on the channel: \”Icons.\” Last week they had a full 1/2 hour show devoted to the history of the Final Fantasy series, and they actually presented a couple interesting pieces of information, along with some enlightening interviews. I’ve seen a few episodes of this show, and it’s so good I’d buy a collection of it on DVD if possible. I am building a video game history library..

  5. It’s not all crapThe Icon show is interesting sometimes and I don’t mind that countdown show (filter, I think). I agree that about 2/3’s of it is almost painful to watch but it’s not all bad. I do wish they had kept more of the TechTV shows and less of the G4 stuff. They also kept most of the crap from TechTV like Robot Wars and the anime I could do without.

  6. G4 sucks donkey d.ickHow can you have the majority of the day reserved for video games? especially when the shows aren’t live, they’re all recorded weeks / months earlier.On the painful side of things, what about the crap ass award show they put up. Did anyone see the \”performances\”? Link running around a stage with a sword and shield. Don’t forget those two asshat guys on the review show that pretend to be cool at all star games and anywhere else.Its too bad because techtv was really getting better…..

  7. godtechtv fucked upg4 even worse than it was before. That gay ass robot wars show is lame as shit. and xplay seems pretty retarded on g4 since g4’s original shows pretty much covered anything it had to offer. I’d honestly rather watch g4’s reruns than half the shit on tech tv.

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