It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Well, I knew it was going to be a slow day in the news when I finally rolled in this morning and checked CNN:

Motherfucker. Now that leaching an easy win off a major news source is out, I will have to rely on raw wit, that is unless NHDJ1 wants to shop me up some fookin cool pictures, hopefully with flying indians and ninjas and shit complete with a coke’d up Brittney.

I mean, what else is a nigger to do? Yea, Yea, I’m becoming predictable. Time to make fun of some queers!!!!

[Gay candidates perform well in primaries]

That is right, it seems that many or our rainbowed friends are branching from the realm of gay butt sexxorz into the dirtier but equally exciting realm of politics. According to planetout, many gay candidates who ran in state and local primary races have passed the first hurdle of winning elected office.

Take, for example. Daniel Cicilline, who won some sort of nomination for something:

“This is an incredibly, incredibly exciting victory,” Cicilline told the Providence Journal. “I can’t wait to get home and sucks some dicks to celebrate.”

Cicilline is expected to win during the general election, when he faces three little-known and poorly funded challengers. This trend is becoming rather frightening since we have all known from the days of gradeschool that being gay rots your brain and makes you want to eat puppies. It also makes you want to spend more time in truckstops, even if they don’t have cable TV.

But, it’s time to get on to the REAL news: A gay homo butt sex wedding@!! (I am not making this up).

“The gay newlyweds of the moment are championship tag-team wrestlers who planned to exchange vows in a fake commitment ceremony Tuesday night during World Wrestling Entertainment’s weekly “Smackdown.”

It was a whirlwind engagement: In front of God and everybody last week in an arena in Green Bay, Wis., Chuck got down on one knee, pulled a diamond ring from his tights and popped the question. Billy wept with joy, and accepted.”

“The audience, from what we’ve seen, appears to be cheering them on,” he said. “While it’s entertaining for viewers, it’s also enlightening. Because of its teenage audience, ‘Smackdown’ reaches a lot of potential bullies and gay bashers out there, and what Billy and Chuck are saying is not only ‘We’re here,’ but they also say, ‘Don’t mess with us.'”

Uh, messing around with GAY HOMO FAGS!!!@!LOL!!@ shouldn’t be much of an issue.

[Side note: The wrestling picture is fucking mine in the MS Paint Story Time thread, so don’t even think about using it. Unless you can think of something funny to do with it and shit.]

I am slowly realizing that I shouldn’t have gotten out of bed this morning.

Categorized as News

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